LaCasta
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 02-08-02, id: 167354
Author has written 31 stories for Smallville.
Since the real bio would be pretty boring, here's another.

LaCasta was born on a plane just as it was crossing the International Date Line, so she's never quite sure what day her birthday is. This confusion is typical of her life.

At the age of five, her parents discovered that she was a child prodigy, though admittedly in the entirely useless field of designing highly aerodynamic feather dusters.

At age seven, she acquired Most Favored Nation status though a bureaucratic snafu that was subsequently covered up by a special commission of wiener dog breeders.

At twenty, she finally admitted that gravity is more or less a constant and that water in its liquid state is uniformly wet. She was arrested the next day for impersonating herself and forging her signature, though the case was thrown out of court.

At thirty, she learned that bagels are not, in fact, sentient. This has caused her to look at life in a new and different way.

Upon reaching the age of forty, she gave up lampshades as nightware and reverted to the use of alchemical texts as dessert trays, despite much concern from the local pharmacy sign repair firm.

Her fiftieth birthday was somewhat marred by an out of body experience that resulted in several unexpected trips to Hungary in order to retrieve the magical amulet which her Uncle Prototype had carelessly left in a seedy pet shop in Amsterdam.

When she was sixty, she finally reduced her attempts to play with the Hoover Dam to the minimum required by law. When her diary asked her what had happened, she answered "No comment," but tickled the CD-ROM meaningfully.

Seventy brought about many changes in her life, since her habit of showing tulip bulbs to absolute strangers brought about a significant change in the price of twine, thus compromising her reputation as a firm advocate of asparagus rights. Nonetheless, she achieved stardom in the difficult field of toothpick guidance counseling.

During her eightieth decade, she put an end to youthful nonsense on the part of the neighbors through pragmatic readings of the more unusual translations of 12th century French drinking songs.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The JLA and the Siblings reviews
UPDATED: Lionel gives Clark a choice. Usual disclaimer. AU: Clark and Lex raised as brothers, both now members of the JLA.
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 31,937 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/16/2006 - Published: 10/15/2002
The Smallville Cabinet reviews
UPDATED: The head of DHHS watched the two animals cautiously. “Why are there a rat and a cat chasing one another down the hall?” House, the President's Epidemiology Advisor, attempted to look rueful. “Well, I tried to teach them volleyball, but they just
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 10,965 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/18/2006 - Published: 11/16/2003
Reversals reviews
UPDATED: Lionel is lost in memory while KalEl's mentor is displeased with events. AU. Greedy and unscrupulous!Kents, benevolent!Luthors, KalEl now rules the planet. Usual disclaimer.
Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,975 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/30/2006 - Published: 7/4/2003 - Clark K./Superman, Lionel L.
First encounters reviews
UPDATED: Chapter 19. Crossover. Prechip, preBuffy Spike thinks that he's going to have a very easy meal when he stops at a certain Kansas farmhouse. More early adventures of Toddler!Clark. Usual disclaimer.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 12,779 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/27/2005 - Published: 7/27/2002
Jeeves comes through again reviews
FINISHED. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Super Bertie Wooster! Returning to Smallville after rescuing Lex, Bertie and Jeeves end up entangled in events. Again. Very very AU for Exile. Crossover with Wodehouse. Usual disclaimer.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,744 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 8/20/2005 - Published: 12/25/2003
Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days reviews
Chapter 6: Martha Kent and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Take-off on the children's book. Usual disclaimer.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,605 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/2/2004 - Published: 1/15/2004
The other fifty percent reviews
AU. Lionel and the Kents have to cope with Lex's severe brain damage. Spoilers for Asylum.
Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,830 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Published: 1/18/2004
Oh to be in Kansas now that spring is here reviews
Emma is in the shower and Steed is bowled over. Crossover with The Avengers. Usual disclaimer. Unusual disclaimer: The diehard should stop gloating.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 377 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2004
Each man kills the thing he loves reviews
Clark wonders if now there's nothing to lose by telling Lana. Usual disclaimer. Title and chapter titles from The Ballad of Reading Goal (Wilde)
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,287 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/30/2003 - Published: 6/8/2003
The Very Secret Diaries of Smallville reviews
UPDATED: The Very Secret Diary of Dr. Helen Bryce. Concept based on Cassandra Claire's version for Lord of the Rings. Rated for multiple entendres. Usual disclaimer.
Smallville - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,746 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 7/8/2003 - Published: 11/3/2002
The Legend of the Fox's Paw reviews
Futurefic, mildly AU. Clark and Lex's friendship traces the path of a Japanese legend. Usual disclaimer. 1/1 (I think).
Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,246 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/26/2003
Alien reviews
AU. President Luthor and Vice-President Ross find a long-lost and traumatized Clark. CONCLUDED. Slash eventually (hey, last chapter counts!). Usual disclaimer applies.
Smallville - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 19,602 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/18/2003 - Published: 3/29/2003
A whole wide world reviews
Mind-picture ficlet AU of the scene where Clark put the disk in the cave wall. Usual disclaimer. Darkish but not graphic.
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 287 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4/21/2003
Full disclosure reviews
One of Lex Luthor's presidential campaign advisors is traumatized by certain documents archiving certain events. Usual disclaimer applies.
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 436 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/2/2003 - Complete
Truth, Justice, and the American Way reviews
AU. Suppose that the Kents had put Clark in gov't hands? Usual disclaimer. Lana/Lex. CONCLUSION and final note.
Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 24 - Words: 24,264 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/28/2003 - Published: 9/7/2002
The heat is on, Jeeves reviews
Bertie Wooster returns to Smallville, just in time for the events of Heat. Bertie is kissed and sets out to do Desiree's bidding. COMPLETED. Usual disclaimer, and spoilers (of a kind) for Heat.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,171 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/2/2003 - Published: 1/5/2003 - Complete
Ransom reviews
Clark disappeared three years ago. An embittered Lex gets a strange phone call. Futurefic. Usual disclaimer. COMPLETED.
Smallville - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 30 - Words: 27,671 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/20/2003 - Published: 7/17/2002 - Complete
Lineage reviews
AU. A child from the doomed planet Earth is sent to another world in hopes that he will survive. Usual disclaimer applies. CONTINUED. Jor-El and Lara's son Lir-El is told about his origins.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,758 - Reviews: 14 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/3/2002 - Published: 8/18/2002
Smallville Limericks reviews
What can I say? Nocturne (and an email conversation with joedan/Kathryn, during which I realized that Nietzsche and peachy rhyme) just brought out my inner tormented poet. Who in turn torments rhymes. Vicious cycle.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 168 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 10/27/2002
A mother's guidance reviews
What if Lillian were the real source of Lex's darkness, modeling him on Napoleon? Usual disclaimer.
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 920 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/16/2002 - Complete
Kid brother reviews
What if somebody else had found Clark? Usual disclaimer applies. Clark and Lex settle into the JLA, but something really makes Clark blush. (Either epilogue or prologue, who knows?)
Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 35 - Words: 32,068 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/13/2002 - Published: 3/1/2002
Challenges reviews
Darkish futurefic. Slash. Usual disclaimer. "Lex likes to challenge people." Superman accepts.
Smallville - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 953 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/26/2002
Passed Notes reviews
A series of passed notes. Chlark.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 610 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Published: 8/17/2002
Regained reviews
Futurefic. What happens when Lex traps Superman and decides to try recruiting him. Usual disclaimer. FINISHED. I think
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 14,145 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/3/2002 - Published: 5/1/2002 - Complete
The Importance of Being in Smallville reviews
An Oscar Wilde crossover. Clark finds himself in a precarious romantic situation and asks his witticism-spouting friend Lord Lex for help. Usual disclaimer. UPDATED: Complete.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,403 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 7/14/2002 - Published: 6/3/2002 - Complete
Bertie Wooster Returns to Smallville reviews
Bertie, a leather jacket, and Nicodemus all meet. Usual disclaimer. CONCLUDED.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,007 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/29/2002
Him. reviews
So, is there another reason that Pete's suddenly vehement about hating Lex? Hmmm. Plex. (Male/male, folks). UPDATED. Chapter 2. Usual disclaimer. Still tame--plot, not steamy yet.
Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,581 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 6/8/2002
The Wooster Abroad in Smallville reviews
Crossover with P.G. Wodehouse. Bertie Wooster visits Smallville. Just for fun. Usual disclaimer applies. Trust me, won't make sense unless you're familiar with the Wodehouse. (Might not anyway.) FINISHED. Spoiler for Hug.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,532 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/26/2002 - Published: 5/25/2002
Happy holidays (yeah, right) reviews
Three disutopian and snarky possible scenarios as Clark/Lana, Clark/Lex, Clark/Chloe face Christmas together. (No idea why my brain popped up this one.) Usual disclaimer.
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 446 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/19/2002
Many ways to make Clark Kent blush--a WB ballad reviews
Apologies to Paul Simon (though if I were repentant I wouldn't post). His song isn't mine either, so double disclaimer duty.
Smallville - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 289 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/7/2002
Well, why not? reviews
A series of interviews on why Lex Luthor turned evil. Usual disclaimer applies. This really is a stand-alone, no followups!
Smallville - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 405 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/30/2002