bossychic896
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Joined 08-24-08, id: 1676477, Profile Updated: 05-17-09
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

WAZZUPP!!

Its the one n only bossychic896 comin at ya!! keep reading my stories and reviewin like its your job, plzzz!!(im new, so they might be suckish-if so, tell me so I can delete them or change them or whatever!)

THANK U 4 VISITING MY PAGEE!!

I am never happy.

I am never sad.

I am never angry.

I am never good.

I am never bad.

Soz, I know diz iz really long but I luv diz stuff. All stuff dat tiz bold iz wat applies 2 me.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be WEAK.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I live in the COUNTRY, so I MUST live on a farm.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "SPACED one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm a FEMALE, so I MUST not SWEAR.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I AM GETTING A CAR FOR MY 16TH BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be
anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am PART AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (NOT REALLY, I JUST WANNA BE A VAMPIRE :P)
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a
tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE(that much), so I MUST be an outcast
I wear BLACK nailpolish, so I MUST be EMO, GOTH, or PUNK
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I am an HONOR STUDENT, so I MUST be a NERD.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT MY BEST FRIENDS SOMETIMES...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Three of a Kind by LostDownTheRabbitHole reviews
B/Em/E have been friends forever. Now 21, Bella hasn't seen the guys since they all left for college. Bella is convinced before summer school starts to take a week long vacation with her two favorite boys. 2 horny guys, 1 Bella? FOLLOWUP NOW POSTED!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,651 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 1,062 - Follows: 506 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Bella, Edward
Alphabet Weekends by the-glory-days reviews
Bored with their dismal love lives, best friends Edward and Bella come up with the idea of exploring the world of sex using the alphabet for the next twenty-six weekends. What happens when things go from two friends having fun to something serious? AH OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 124,991 - Reviews: 11409 - Favs: 11,104 - Follows: 5,797 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Relieving Sexual Frustrations by APlethoraOfGreatness reviews
Every chapter is a lemon of its own kind. Chapter one is really suck-ish because it's really old, but I can't seem to let it go. I swear, every chapter will leave you wanting more. Don't believe me? Then check it out and review! Thanks!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,249 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 6/5/2009 - Published: 9/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Snapshots of Desire by Isabel0329 reviews
Quick snippets of Edward and Bella's love affair and their exploits in bed. Chapters are not related to each other. AU, All-Human. Definitely OOC. Rated M for sex and language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,401 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 288 - Updated: 5/25/2009 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Bella, Edward
Wicked by tashiegurl reviews
It's that time of the month again for Bella, and there's only one thing on her mind. One-shot. LEMON.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,654 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 22 - Published: 10/5/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
What Time by Foxy1245 reviews
Don't worry this isn't B/M like that. It's actually pretty funny, based off of real life experiences so please read. It's my first fanfic to! One Shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 982 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/5/2008 - Bella, Mike - Complete
Don't Take the Girl by ericastwilight reviews
Edward and Bella first met when they were eight years old, ten years later he asks for her hand in marriage. One shot/song inspired.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,602 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 478 - Follows: 99 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Innocence by Isabel0329 reviews
Bella discovers an unexpected attraction, one that will change her very world and turn her life upside down. Rated M for girl/girl sex. AU, All-Human. OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,103 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 65 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Bella, Alice - Complete
The Betrayal by bossychic896 reviews
OMG! Edward and *****! Guess who! rated M for "stuff" and descriptions you'll see !
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,717 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/17/2008 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Edward, Bella
Just a Dream by lutheranchick reviews
In anticipation for the end of the saga, we all pictured how the wonderful world created by stephanie Meyer, but what nobody anticipated was nonexistance... '…really didn’t…exist. He…he…was never there...' Written before the release of Breaking Dawn
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 537 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cookie Dough by Siobahn Holloway reviews
This is my first attempt at crack!fic. Esme wants a snack.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 757 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Esme, Carlisle - Complete
Sex And Vampires by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
The summary is NOT fanfiction appropriate. You'll have to read it in the first chapter. This is the long awaited replacement for When Life Gives You Lemons - not a sequel or a rewrite. BXE Filled with lemony goodness and a plot. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 32,605 - Reviews: 1656 - Favs: 1,318 - Follows: 817 - Updated: 8/9/2008 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
Fun begins Anew by Shadow of Apocolypse reviews
This is purely gay smut. it has Edward and Jasper. It's hot and sexy and if you don't like it, Don't read it.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 548 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 17 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Edward, Jasper - Complete
Midnight Snack by Melancholy Ink Splatter reviews
Alice/Bella oneshot. Just something I needed to get out of my system. Bella and Alice find comfort in each other's arms one lonely night. But what happens when they are discovered? M for sex. Pretty short. Enjoy. R&R please.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,562 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 33 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Bella, Alice - Complete
Forever Lasting by Rikku Madara Uchiha reviews
A man. All reveared as a wraith. Had returned. Flecked in blood. Torn with tears. Oneshot. death-poem.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 320 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/26/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1718 - Favs: 3,121 - Follows: 631 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
Fever by sillybella reviews
Bella is sick and Edward is worried.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,287 - Reviews: 399 - Favs: 815 - Follows: 195 - Published: 10/18/2006 - Complete
A Different Kind Of Love by FanFreak2002 reviews
The Giver transfer to Jonas a more adult memory of love.
Giver - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/28/2006 - Complete
The Betrayal reviews
OMG! Edward and *****! Guess who! rated M for "stuff" and descriptions you'll see !
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,717 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/17/2008 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Edward, Bella