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Joined 08-25-08, id: 1677842, Profile Updated: 06-24-09
Author has written 13 stories for Twilight, Pendragon, Kiesha'ra, and Maximum Ride.

ALEX You have 1,000 guesses to what my name is. (Hint: It starts with "Ale" and ends with "x") And that's all I answer to.

But, to talk about a GIGANTIC issue in my life: Whipper Wills. Anyone here live in the Norht East by a forest, too? If not, they're horrible terrible birds. At 11 at night, all is silent, then . . .





All night long! I hate them!!

Thank you.

If you have some sort of death wish, please read my stories. I'm not the best writer, but I try and my writing style and skill has grown and matured. I also hear they're kind of funny, and "A Right of Passage" is only updated when I'm bored. Sorry to anyone who has ever read it. You poor, poor people.

LINKS (yes, I know it's scary)

Hello, to all who think I'm funny. All, I have to say is this.

To all you think I'm weird, I say this

Now, down to business, I will steal your soul using this machine. Afterwords, there is a facility where you can relax. It's really relaxing. Here is a basic picture of what you will look like afterwords. Death is optional.

I own none of these pictures. If there's an AF fan out there who doesn't get this, think Juliet, sucky mangas, and Pex and Chips. I couldn't get a pic of the actual quote.

I thank Googel.

Yo, a personality thing I got off someone else's profile. If this is origanial, then I'm sorry. Just PM me and I'll take this down and put an official apoligy here.



You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool

You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total: 20


You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.(it is most certiantly not a sport. It is womanizing gymnastics in skirts)
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.(who didn't like those? I'm serious!)
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total: 5

Conclusion: (of my own making up/what I call my self) Barely a Chick

From Whay'cha Willing To Do?- The thinking man:

(pssst!! Bianca!! §

Whatever Bianca Has To Say:

Hello people of Jupiter- wait this is Earth! Damn!

Alex- Watch your language!

Bianca-What ev.

Alex- Yes pancakes ARE delicious!

Bianca- What kinda world do live in?

Alex- I dunno, but chickens cross roads without their motives questioned!

Bianca- Nice to know. Your almost as dumb as Ronnie

ALEX- I died a little on the inside . . .

Any way BACK TO THE POINT!! I like Twilight, copy and pasters, broccoli and hate Ronnie Niles(the evil one to all who don't know). i love you all and have a great time reading the copy and pasters!!


(+'.'+) (- '.' -) Help Plusle and Minum take over fanfcition! Copy and paste this on your profile and don't forget to add your name to there army list! There Army: ROSELIACOOL, KengoGirl, KeytoDestiny, Mightyena2, Starlight Nightmare and BlackOpal1922.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Five fourths of people have trouble with fractions, if you're the part of the five fourths, say aye! or just copy into your profile, you chose.

Month one

I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you are against abortion, post this in your profile. (get a friend to paste too, if you almost cried)


Where ever people got stereo types, I don't care. No one does, so stop blaming people for them and take a stand against them. UNless they're true. Like the stereo, type, all people need to breath air! I'm just kidding. THERE ARE NO TRUE STEREO TYPES!! -waits, but cheering never comes- Yeah, well, copy & paste and all that!! I made the autism ones. If you're close tosomeone with that disability, I hope you hate them as much as I do!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.(only a little, genetically)
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".(only a little)
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.(only a little)
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.(only like a little less then 20)
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.(OK, I'm not this, but w0w people are MEAN!)
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.(all girls out there, dude pants are COMFY!!)
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker (cough Twilight cough)
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.(i live there, jeez I got a lot of nationalities!)

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (EDWARD!!)
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict (whats a Bohemian, could someone tell me?)
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
Just because I'm AUTISTIC doesn't mean I'm STUPID!
If I have an AUTISTIC SIBLING that doesn't make me AUTISTIC!
Just because I'm AUTISTIC doesn't mean I HAVE NO FEELINGS
Just because I'm AUTISTIC doesn't mean I WANT YOUR PITY!
Just because I'm AUTISTIC doesn't mean that you HAVE TO WALK ON EGGSHELLS AROUND ME!


A Real Boyfriend

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you

Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you


When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin

she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this Boyfriend."

Girls post as: "A real Boyfriend."

This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping outof the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on your heart.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

(Ach, I'm tearing up! Love you dad, though you shall never read this. Ever)

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Big Brother Cullen Style! by Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter reviews
Uh oh!The Cullen let Alice watch Big Brother!Now Carlisle is Julie Chen, the wolves and the vampires are competing for food,and Emmett's dressed like Hannah Montana?What's the secret of her past Bella's struggling to cover?Who will win Big Brother Cullen?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 28,714 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Complete
Notes Galore! by Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter reviews
What happens when you mix a very hyper Bella, a pad of paper and a pen? THIS! Baisiclly, the Cullen's start passing note instead of talking. Very random, very, very OOC. Very funny. So, please read and reveiw.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 121 - Words: 40,684 - Reviews: 2744 - Favs: 393 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Complete
Queen Bee of Forks High Senior High School by JuliaCullen.s2 reviews
What happens when a self-proclaimed 'queen bee' by the name of Jessica Stanley tries to squeeze herself into a non-existent space between Edward and Bella?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 61,787 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 5/20/2011 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Edward, Bella
East by princesswingnut reviews
."Here's a short list of things that are considered unacceptable behavior at a wedding: screaming. Sobbing uncontrollably. Throwing champagne glasses. Getting in a violent slap-fight with the bride. Strangling the groom." LEAH FIC. Compass Points series.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 33 - Words: 62,065 - Reviews: 492 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/23/2010 - Published: 9/12/2008 - Leah - Complete
Truth or Dare, my Love? by FantasyFictionLover313 reviews
Sweet and funny story of what happens when 5 vampires and 1 human play truth or dare. Great laughs and some heart-warming moments combined to make an original truth or dare story. *Rating for language and mild sexual ref.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,996 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 7/8/2010 - Published: 2/10/2008 - Complete
No talking! Write it down :D by madeinchina371 reviews
Notes, IMs, letters, and emails by Bella and other Twilight characters. Takes place after BD. Characters sometimes OOC. Sillyness predominates. Rated T for sexual innuendoes and potty language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 101 - Words: 45,861 - Reviews: 1523 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 8/31/2008
Phone Calls by Rock'n'Slash reviews
8 yr. after BD. Just random hiliarious phone calls between Edward&Jacob, Bella&Nessie, and Emmett&Jasper. Included: u-arent-good-enough-4-my-daughter-ness, all-men-are-idiots-ness, & lets-reek-havic-on-the-poor-pathetic-humans-ness. Some lauguage.MWHAHA!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 71 - Words: 36,725 - Reviews: 1867 - Favs: 526 - Follows: 299 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 9/15/2008
max or bella? by yesisalas reviews
flock kick Max out and she starts new life as Bella Swan will the flock realize the mistake before its too late?Whats happens when the flock comes back to find max?what happens when the volutrri find out about the flock will they survie?whowillmaxchoose?
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 15,911 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 10/26/2009 - Published: 10/24/2008
You Grew Up In The 90's If by Aspen-SiredBySpike reviews
A series of ficlets and drabbles based on fads only a real 90's child would admire.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 10,903 - Reviews: 1443 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Complete
Closet Raid by figlia di Atena reviews
When Edward goes out hunting, Bella, Alice, and Rosalie decide to see what Edward is hiding in his closet.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,868 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 7/7/2008
Through the Eyes of Forever by BlackWidowPretty reviews
Souls, lives, and spirits, morphed and destroyed by the flames, and then left to burn with the ashes. Mild language, rating may go up with later chapters. Angst H/T A/H Love Triangle! Yeah, now everybody reads.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,228 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Holly S.
Awake Unto Me by hopeisabluebird reviews
Biloxi, MS, 1920: Alice fights to maintain her own identity against a pale-eyed man. But preserving a sense of self may just be too hard, even for her ... AU. All human. JxA
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,393 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/18/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Something Happened by darlingtigerangel reviews
Something has happened to Jacob and many of his Werewolf brothers they're now sisters! Will they be able to work threw this until they're male again? Mood swings in this fic have nothing to do with Jasper and all to do with a certain time of month.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,389 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 6/24/2009 - Published: 8/7/2008 - Bella, Jacob
10 things each of la push kids can't do anymore by sunset moon dove reviews
this is the sequal to 10 things each of the cullen kids can't do anymore. The much anticipated, 10 things each of the la push kids can't do anymore. MUST HAVE READ 10 THINGS EACH OF THE CULLEN KIDS CAN'T DO ANYMORE, TO READ.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,094 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 4/22/2009 - Published: 11/5/2008
The Sound of Silence by hopeisabluebird reviews
AU AH Carlisle and Esme keep foster children in an attempt to bring healing into their lives. When Bella comes, she's able to help without ever having to say a word... BxE
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,477 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 3/20/2009 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The 'Talk' by Forever Crazy reviews
Emmett gives Nessie the talk. But Emmett is only prepared to warn her about what kind of guys out there,but little did he know, his plan made a complete turn to trouble.Takes part when Nessie starts kindergarten,abit after Breaking Dawn. Editing. Add part
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,060 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/25/2009 - Published: 11/13/2008 - Complete
Twilight: The Musical by whitnibble reviews
Edward's rapping? Bella's singing Hannah Montana? Emmett's protecting his barney? Leah's got the pack on leashes? It's all Aro's fault of course. Him and that dang potion.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 22,424 - Reviews: 347 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 2/16/2009 - Published: 7/25/2008
The Most Awesome Twilight FanFiction Ever! by Wonderland Blossom reviews
The title says it all.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 356 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/8/2009 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Can't Touch This by jam-ughb reviews
Bella Swan used to live a normal life in Pheonix. But when an experience leaves her traumatized, she hasn't spoken or touched anyone for over a year. When she moves to Forks and meets the beautiful Edward Cullen, can he and his family help her? BxE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 25 - Words: 41,184 - Reviews: 525 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 248 - Updated: 2/7/2009 - Published: 2/28/2008
Blossoms by hopeisabluebird reviews
AU She doesn't understand... Perhaps the only thing she does understand is forever. And she doesn't understand why she can't spend forever with Mommy and Daddy in the green place....
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,331 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Countdown by meeker004 reviews
100 dollars. It was how much Seth owed his older sister after she won their bet that Jacob Black would imprint on somebody completely inappropriate and leave Seth completely and utterly brokenhearted. Leah-Embry and Seth-Jacob.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 925 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Seth, Leah - Complete
Calypso Bulbosa by Lli reviews
The life and times of Lili Frond. Because there must be more to her than Colfer gives us. Vaguely based off Calypso and Callisto myths, because I like my classics.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,510 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/13/2008 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Lili F. - Complete
It's a Love Story by DaniLovesSpunkRansom reviews
We were in love. I was finally happy. And he left me. Because of something that happened years ago! And it hurt more than anything I had known. Then I realized, Charlie was right. Based on Taylor Swift's "Love Story" DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight! AH A
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,120 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 11/27/2008 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby by Anna Scathach reviews
They tell me I live in an imaginary world of my own. I don't believe them. A Juliet PoV oneshot after the mindwipe.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 784 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Juliet B. - Complete
And in the end, its always a happily ever after by 13scarlett13 reviews
let me live in you heart" she loved him, but did he love her back? kags/inu, i suck at summaries please read.
Inuyasha - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 991 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Inuyasha, Kagome H. - Complete
Mr Banner? by MeltingInHisGoldenEyes reviews
When Bella and Edward have Biology, Edward hears Mr. Banner's thoughts and isn't happy... then in comes Mike... and Edward meets his nose.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,775 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 11/16/2008 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Complete
Copy and Paste by supernerdy reviews
Max is playing around on fan fiction, and decides that her blank profile page is a little boring. So, of course, she adds copy and pastes! ONESHOT
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,102 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/11/2008 - Max, Nudge - Complete
The Phases of the Moon by Aces17 reviews
All Human. BXE. Bella is in a happy relationship with lifelong friend, Jake. He soon turns abusive, and she's afraid to leave. What happens when a strange bronze-haired boy moves in next door and sweeps her off her feet?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 57,817 - Reviews: 661 - Favs: 455 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 10/28/2008 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Complete
Open the Box by HM Grayson reviews
Embry doesn’t know who his father is. Or how Leah really feels about Jacob, at least that’s what he tells himself. Jacob says there are some things better left unknown. Embry might just have to disagree.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,065 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/26/2008 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Embry, Leah - Complete
Switcheroo! by spicehnoodles reviews
Esme and Carlisle were tired of their kids fighting, so they used a potion and made them sleep — but there were side effects...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 9,612 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 10/15/2008 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mikes World! by CheyanneMarie reviews
Mike try to impress Bella, she gets annoyed and the Cullens decided to get him. a little embarrassment for him couldn't hurt could it? First story, please be nice, little OOC. 1st chp isnt that good, but it gets BETTER, I PROMISE, all you do is R&R, PLEAZ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 88,573 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 9/18/2008 - Published: 4/10/2008
Pendragon Oneword Story by Llama Queen Katie reviews
Like the title says. I have oneword stories for other catagories mostly Kingdom Hearts, Guardians of Time, and Harry Potter , but this is my first Pendragon one. If you don't know what a oneword story is, the answer is in the author's note inside here....
Pendragon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 986 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Complete
Five Pairings by Maiyri-Omega reviews
Five pairings in the Maximum Ride fandom that never happened before! Double drabbles that tell the story of a pairing that you've never seen. Do you want something different? Then this is for you! Part Five is up, and that's it folks.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,044 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/31/2008 - Published: 7/24/2008 - Max - Complete
Education of our Peers by Emmeline Rose reviews
The Cullen family, including Bella, have been nominated to become student teachers. When Jasper teaches History and Edward is the school Phsycologist, all hell breaks loose. What will happen when vampires take over the school?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,184 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 8/31/2008 - Published: 8/18/2008
When We Were Young by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Edward and Bella have been friends since they were toddlers. When they grow older, will their friendship become something more? Stories from when they were little, through teen and adult years. Modern day. T for later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 132,723 - Reviews: 5802 - Favs: 3,067 - Follows: 962 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Condemned by That Vintage Dress reviews
Finally you cry because you know that you will never escape from loving him. A different kind of QuilClaire story.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,553 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 22 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Complete
Synthetic Grins by Ms. Marla reviews
They only smile because they don't know any better. [A futuristic fiction]
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 899 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Published: 9/28/2007 - Complete
Holly Short by extra short reviews
a remix of Stacey's Mom. pointless parody.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 329 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/10/2007 - Trouble K., Holly S. - Complete
Trapped by Realilly reviews
Holly is trapped in a cage, Butler is trapped in his words, and Artemis is trapped in his mind. Oneshot.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,948 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/16/2006 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Pendragon Car Tunes by James Flamel reviews
Bobby and Courtney are on a trip. It's Courtney's idea to play Pendragon Car Tunes. Songs include Every Time We Flume, We Are The Travelers, I Know A Quig That Gets On Every Travelers Nerves, and much more! Tenth Song Out!
Pendragon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 3,346 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/31/2006 - Published: 6/4/2006 - Complete
Moments by SasukeBlade reviews
Drabbles For warriors, life passes in fleeting moments... Bokka x Loor
Pendragon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 1,113 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 5/6/2006 - Published: 4/22/2006 - Loor - Complete
The Seven Deadly Sins of Holly Short by slime frog reviews
Holly gets cursed on the way into work (as you do) with a hex that means for the next seven days she will experience each of the seven sins. Needless to say chaos insues. Rated as secondary humour in account of my attempt to be funny...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 25,667 - Reviews: 413 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 7/11/2005 - Published: 12/9/2003
Artemis Fowl: The Aztec Incident by AgiVega reviews
26-year-old Artemis Fowl gets the greatest surprise of his life when Commander Holly Short pays him a visit, pleading for his help. They need to team up to save their son, whose existence Artemis has been unaware of...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 154,217 - Reviews: 1581 - Favs: 930 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 2/16/2005 - Published: 9/13/2004 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Right Of Passage reviews
Oliza's 15 year old right of passage and is locked in a room with Urban and her parents for the sky knows how long. T for future chapters and for the fact that T stands for Tuuli Thea! it's a note story.
Kiesha'ra - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 1,471 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 12/12/2008
Growing Up reviews
the story of how the pack all grows up together. I am a cruel person sooo BEWARE!Starts at age twelve.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,143 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Leah, Jacob
What'cha willing to do? reviews
when Emmet plays a prank, what will Edward do? Ya don't know, cuz you haven't read it. Sequal/Compinion to 'what would you do for a klondike bar'
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,541 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/3/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Edward, Bella
Special reviews
Bella has autism. Edward thirsts for her blood. How can he think like that of a person whom hardly knows the danger? I don't know anyone this bad, but I strengthed my bros issues. Please read. Flames Death, cuz this is personal. Please review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,783 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 3/22/2009 - Published: 12/19/2008
A new power reviews
ENTRY FOR LIVELAGHLUV311'S CONTEST! DEIALS FOR THE CONTEST FOR THE CONTEST INSIDE! Nudge gets a new power and Ella dies and Angel is sarcastic. GASP
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 722 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Nudge, Max - Complete
First phase reviews
Leah hers the stories and myths after her first phase, and finds new meaning. Not as good as I thought/hoped it would be.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 587 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Leah, Seth - Complete
Busted reviews
Written for ’Alice’s Writing Contest’. Please read and review.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 641 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Complete
He'd Never Know reviews
Jasper/Emmet slash. 150 words excactly drabble.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 138 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Jasper, Emmett - Complete
what would you do for a klondike bar? reviews
what would aro and emmet do for klondike bars? WE WILL FIND OUT! now complete. epilouge in Jasper pov!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,343 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/12/2008 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Aro, Emmett - Complete
snow and vampires reviews
a list depicting the simalarites between vampires and snow
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Complete
Afterwards: A Tale Of TV reviews
After the war thing is done, the territories are all back to thier own. So how will Spader react to a Cloral word on a Earth TV?
Pendragon - Rated: T - English - Parody/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 384 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/4/2008 - V. Spader - Complete
great reviews
quil and claire go for a walk. real short. reviews are nice. only western, because come on, how many weserns are there?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 279 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Quil Jr., Claire - Complete
Nickname reviews
After this Seth int aloud a dictionary. SORRY TYPO ON TOP PLEASE IGNORE! I'll fix it eventually.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 318 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/27/2008 - Seth - Complete