deaths-master
hide bio
Poll: Who would you rather win Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 08-26-08, id: 1677923, Profile Updated: 11-07-09
Author has written 5 stories for Vampires, Misc. Books, Harry Potter, and Doctor Who.

Hay im Snake and i rule the universe along with my friend Noofle

NAME: Snake

AGE: BOUT 3 TRILION MILLION MILLENIUMS OLD (may be older)

GENDER: FEMALE (DIDN'T SHE THAT COMEN DID YA)

HAIR: EXTREMLY DARK BROWN (IT LOOKS BLACK) WITH RED STREAKS AND FOILS

EYES: BLUE GREY


Every one if you like doctor who read my friend noofle's stories her character brittany is based on me to so yeah read her stories


IF ANY ONE HAS IDEAS FOR STORIES I CAN WRITE OR ONES THAT IM WRITING NOW PLZ TELL


Sirius Black

Escaped Azkaban..

Evaded the Dementors..

Outwitted the Ministry..

Killed by a drapery

(The only reason I put this in my profile is because I want to show everyone how some stupid, idiotic person made fun of Sirius! How dare they!If you want to help me kill them, copy & paste this into your profile)

When life give you lemons throw the lemon back at it and demand CHOCOLATE!!

When people say life isnt fair, say 'Yeah so was J.K Rowling when she killed off Sirius but you dont see ME complaining!!' if they keep complaining about life complain about J.K.Rowling killing of Sirius.

When people ask if you suffer from insanity say 'No I enjoy EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF IT!!(underbreath)idiots'

If people ask why you are obsessed with Harry Potter say 'Well lets see, 1. It's one of the best-selling novels 2. I have a BRAIN and 3. Its the hot stuff right NOW!!'

If ask what does the second reason on the above answer has do with anything answer 'Every person with a BRAIN likes/loves/obsessed with Harry Potter (If they dont like HP continue with this end of speech)DUH!! Obviously you're lacking one!!'

The sorting hat says that I belong in Slytherinr!

Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those whose ancestry is purest."

Slytherin students are typically cunning and hungry for power. Important members include Draco Malfoy (Harry's nemesis), Professor Severus Snape (head of Slytherin), and Lord Voldemort.

Take the most scientific Harry Potter
Quiz
ever created.

Get Sorted Now!


PLZ TELL ME THAT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS DONE ALL THE THING LISTED BELOW PLZ

IF YOU HAVE DONE THEM ALL PLZ TELL I WOULD LOVE TO NOW IM NOT THE ONLY TRUELY INSANE PERSON ON THIS EARTH

Geeks are smart. Geeks are cool. Geeks make up over 70 percent of the Universe's populace, or this one's, anyway. So geeks overpower all the rich and popular people, anyway. If you are a geek and proud of it, put this on your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you are a girl and you don't wear make-up, or if you are a guy and you do, paste this in your profile because you rock.

If you don't care what other people think about you or your clothes, about how much money you have, or about how pretty you are, paste this in your profile.

If you are Doctor Who/Torchwood obsessed, copy this into your profile.

If you can easily finish a novel in one day, put this on your profile!

If you ever actually read these things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Most people would be offeneded if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people who answer "Where to begin?"

If whenever you see or hear the name Edward, you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, C&P this into your pro.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight it is NOT even funny anymore, C&P

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, C&P

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this into your pro

If people think you are mentally insane...copy this into your profile

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your pro

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate realationship with your computer, C&P

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P!

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight it stupid and refuses to read it, C&P

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you think those kids should just give the stupid Trix Rabbit some friggin' cereal put this in your profile!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you believe teenagers are stereotyped, put this on your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! If you enjoy being insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said 'pull' or the other way around, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe)

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, C&P

If you are one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a brdge, I laugh harder and call out before you die, "WAIT, CAN I HAVE YOUR iPOD?!.

It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

If you are called 'weird' at least five times a day, post this into your profile.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE that it's weird. If you DISAGREE completely with this statement and find it happening on a regular basis, copy ans paste this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, C&P

If you have ever run into a tree, C&P

If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste

People sya that people kill people, not that guns kill people. But I don't think it would work if you stood in front of a person and said "BANG!" and they die.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area, put this in your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all these cut and paste things, and thought "Man! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this into your profile.

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..."

A friend helps you when you fall; a best friend says "Walk much, smart one?"

A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, INSERT NAME HERE, RUN!"

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. (I do this often!)

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile. (I think that's quite obvious!!)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. (I do all this AND MORE!!)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (It'll happen any day now tho!)

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Do you think the Trix cereal kids should just suck up their pride, and give the rabbit some Trix?

If you're one of those who paint your dad's finger nails hot pink when he's sleeping, or tell your older sister you don't know where her I-pod went...copy this into profile.

If you've ever asked a really obvious, stupid question, copy and paste this into your profile.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile(yes well ...umm...i forgot.)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If you seriously want to be a vampire copy this into your profile.

99.5 percent of teenagers and kids have a myspace and are literally addicted, if you are the 0.5 who thinks myspace is a dumb way to make friends,relationsips,etc. post this onto your profile.(That's right, i'm half a person!!)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this to your profile! (on my bike too...but it's okay, i know the tree...she's my friend, her name is emily)

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

I have the kind of friends that if my house waz burning down, they'd be there making S'mores and hitting on hot firemen

Sometimes I wonder, 'Why iz that frisbee getting bigger?'... then it hits me

Friends ask why you're crying...Best friends already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

I've built a wall, not to block people out but to see who loves me enough to climb over it

"The woman came from the man's ribs. Not his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected and near the heart to be loved." If you agree that men and women should have equal rights in EVERYTHING, put this on your profile.

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile (you think that's long? I've laughed for at least an hour straight...not kidding...i've got some pretty crazy friends, once i've started laughing they won't let me stop)

If you have pushed a door that said pull copy and paste on ur page.

If you've run into a door copy and paste onto page.

If you don't like doors copy and paste onto page.

If you don't know why I'm still talking about doors copy and paste onto page.

If you are standing in front of a door and banging your head because I wont shut up about doors copy and paste onto page.

i got this off of wingedvamp1107's (Profile. I thought it was funny

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.heyy

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

if you have ever walked into a wall before copy this

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.(i shouldn't put this on here cause i am dead -deaths-master)

If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!


Lord Loss by Darren Shan

Lord Loss sows all the sorrows of the world

Lord Loss seeds the grief-starched trees

In the center of the web, lowly Lord Loss bows his head

Mangled hands, naked eyes

Fanged snakes, his soul line

Curled inside like textured sin

Bloody, curdled sheets for skin

In the center of the web, vile Lord Loss torments the dead

Over the strands of red, Lord Loss crawls

Dispensing pain, despising all

Shuns friends, nurtures foes

Ravages hope, breeds woe

Drinks moons, devours suns

Twirls his thumbs till the reaper comes

In the center of the web, lush Lord Loss is all that is


How good is it to be Australian…

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgium beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American show on a Japanese TV.

Only in Australia…can pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia…do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia…do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Australia…do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Australia…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia…do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia…are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth

A massive 54 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth

AND Finally...

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up onto the toilet

IF YOU'RE PROUD TO BE AUSTRALIAN SEND THIS ON!

THANKS


-SMILE-


DEATHS_MASTER

BOOKS: Harry Potter, The Saga of Darren Shan, The Demonta, Twilight, Farie Tale, Axis Triolgogy (And all the books that come after it), The Vampire Chronicles, and a whole bunch of other stuff mainly bout VAMPIRES AND DEMONDS i usally dont have time to write but i will try and update my stories as fast as i can

!!VAMPIRES/VAMPYRES RULE!!


A man was pulled over for speeding down the highway; the officer came to the driver’s window and said, "Sir, may I see your driver’s license and registration?" The man said, "Well officer I don't have a license, it was taken away for a DUI." The officer, in surprise, said," What, do you have a registration for the vehicle?" So the man replied, "No sir, the car is not mine I stole it, but I am pretty sure I say a registration card in the glove box when I put the gun in it." The officer stepped back, "There is a gun in the glove box?!" The man sighed and said, "Yes sir, I used to kill the woman who owns the car before I stuffed her in the trunk." The officer steps toward the back of the car and says," Sir do not move, I am calling for backup." The officer calls for backup and about ten minutes another highway patrolman arrives. He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his driver’s license and registration. The man said," Yes officer here it right here." It all checked out so the officer said," Is there a gun in the glove box sir?" The man laughs and says," No officer why would there be a gun in the glove box." He opened the glove box and showed him that there was no gun. The second officer asked him to open the trunk because he had reason to believe that there was a body in it. The man agrees and opens the trunk, no dead body. The second officer says, "Sir I do not understand, the officer that pulled you over said that you did not have a license, the car was stolen, there was a gun in the glove box, and a dead body in the trunk." The man looks the officer in the eyes and says, "Yeah and I'll bet he said I was speeding too."


Twilight Obsession
Things a Twilight Obsessed does:

1.-You hear/ see the characters in your head
2.-You know vampires exist, aren’t ashamed of it and wish you were one
3.-You use quotes from the books in your everyday speech
4.-You memorized parts of the book and mutter them constantly to yourself
5.-You want to visit/live in Forks
6.-A love song comes up on the radio and you immediately relate it to Twilight
7.-You add said song to your I-pod under the Twilight Play list
8.-You dream about the book
9.-You sleep with the books cradled in your arms
10.-You no longer pay attention to your non-Twilight friends
11.-Your Twilight friends and you wish each other goodnight saying “Dream of Edward”
12.-Your sweetheart and you call each other ‘Edward’ and ‘Bella’
13.-You no longer say OMG. You say OMCarlisle, OMEdward or OMVampire
14.-You added ‘Cullen’, ‘Volturi’ and ‘Quileute’ to your computer’s dictionary
15.-You are seriously considering naming your kid after a character
16.-You organize “vampire speed races” and the last one is “a filthy werewolf”
17.-You hear the name ‘Edward’ and you turn around, screaming “WHERE?!”
18.-You hear thunder and say “Home run, Emmett”
19.-You still cry at the sad parts, laugh at the funny ones and sigh at the romantic ones even though you’ve read them a thousand times
20.-People confuse you with a vampire, not because you’re pale or beautiful but because of the shadows under your eyes (you spent all night up rereading the books)
21.-You tell jokes about Twilight although you know no one will understand you
22.-You read the part where Edward leaves Bella and cry your eyes out
23.-Then you think, “Better. With Bella gone, Edward is mine”
24.-When someone asks you how your food is, you say “Well, it’s no irritable grizzly…”
25.-When it’s dusk outside, you mutter “Twilight again. The safest part of the day for us…”
26.-Apples, Tulips, Red Ribbons and Chess are your new favorite fruit, flower, accessory and game.
27.-You photo-shopped your own photo so you look like a vampire
28.-You see a Volvo and squeal with delight.
29.-You match your friends to the character they remind you of (ditto with actors, singers, random people on the street, etc) and call them that name.
30.-You open the book and know exactly where you are by reading two or three words
31.-When someone mentions how scary something was, you scoff and say “James and Victoria are scarier”
32.-You believe that previous vampire myths (garlic, wooden stakes, bat wings) are stupid and obsolete
33.-You spend all day speaking about Twilight, and people tell you to shut up
34.-You want to buy a Volvo/Jeep/Porsche, etc.
35.-You see a bite on somebody’s hand (even if it was their dog) and immediately think, “James…”
36.-You see a forest and shiver thinking HE might be hunting in there
37.-Although you know it won’t be anything like you imagined it, you’ll still camp outside the cinema on December 11
38.-You preordered your copy of Breaking Dawn and count down the days.
39.-You and your Twilight friends have bets on what will happen on Breaking Dawn
40.-You go to the zoo and think: “Hmmm. Buffet”
41.-You are laughing and nodding as you read this

In a world of nonsense, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be won’t, and everything it would be, was.

Do they know that I know that they know that I know what I wasn't supposed to know, or not?

Smile... it confuses people.

Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it...

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

"I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers."

"Insanity is my only means of relaxation."

"I used to care, but I take a pill for that now..."

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

My favorite word is sarcasm

I've got ADHD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?”

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you could read this copy and paste it into your profile!

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can’t.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you generally crash on your couch even when your bed is free, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family etc. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile. (WHAT!!)

If your obsessed with fan fiction, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

If you don't understand the joke, don't ask. Laugh with the grouop and Google it later.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am or later reading the Twilight books, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your proflie.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a constant enemy, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever quoted Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw New Moon at the wall when Jane used her power on Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been bored out of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile.

On Randomness (like all the above hasn't been random...) :

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I’m just random! If you’re random and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile!

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Music is love in search of word.

The best place to hide is in plain sight.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

"Everything in this room, everything you see is eatable. Even I myself am eatable--except that is called cannibalism, children, and it is frowned upon in most societies."

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

A day without light is, well, night

"The dinosaurs’ extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

Palm reader: "-gasp- You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

"I can resist anything but temptation."

"All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand."

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile!

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I ADDED ALL THIS IN A BORING FIT!! IF YOU DO TO, COPY PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!

OMG! This little bunny is sooooo cute :) I named him...Joey!

Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side.

You know you live in 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6. Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7. As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9. And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10. You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11. Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

Fav Quotes:

"Goodbye Jacob, my brother...my son."
-- Edward Cullen

"What do you call a blonde with a brain?A Golden Retriever"
-- Jacob Black

"Early marraige was higher up on her blacklist than boiling live puppies"
-- Bella Swan, about Renee

"I'll stop by your crypt after school."
-- Jacob Black

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" (Twilight, page 92.)

"I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." (Twilight, page 87.)

"It makes me ... anxious ... to be away from you." (Twilight, page 188.)"For almost ninety years I've walked among my kind, and yours ... all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet." (Twilight, page 304.)

"I may not be human, but I am a man." (Twilight, page 311.)

"You are my life now." (Twilight, page 314.)

"You inspired this one." (Twilight, page 326.)

"You have saved me." (Twilight, page 474.)

"You are my life. You're the only thing it would hurt me to lose." (Twilight, page 474.)

"Yes, it is enough. Enough for forever." (Twilight, page 498.)

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you." (New Moon, page 19.)

"Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist." (New Moon, page 509.)

"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" (New Moon, page 510.)

"I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept--as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you" (New Moon, page 510.)

"I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy." (New Moon, page 510.)

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason ... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." (Edward Cullen, New Moon, page 514.)

"It was like my heart was gone--like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you." (Edward Cullen, New Moon, page 515.)

"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable. Never doubt that." (Edward Cullen, New Moon, page 524.)

"You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke." (Edward Cullen)


FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to berry the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Can't catch me!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this shit!


i got this off noofles profile who Nabbed off of Time Lady 802379's profile.

Notes to Self...

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7.Note expressions.

8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9.Floor is slippery when wet.

10.Lake is slippery when dry.

11.Only talk to strangers you know.

12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15.Kill them for security purposes.

16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18.The men in white coats are not your friends.

19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25.Train army of flying monkeys.

26.Goldfish don't like milk.

27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28.Find out who invented the word "pianoist".

29.People are staring at you.

30.So act insane.

31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36.Never pet a burning dog.

37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38.Naked men dig parkas.

39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40.You know what would look good on you?

41.Immolated cockroaches.

42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43.The size of Danny DeVito.

44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this. O~O

45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49.That way is rum.

50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

52.You cannot kill the snow.

53.The snow can kill you.

54.Grass can also kill you.

55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65.Remember to kill HIM...

66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.

71.Eat the evidence.

72.But not if it's broken glass.

73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75.Disregard last note.

76.Note reactions.

77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78.Stock up on ball point pens.

79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81.Do not stick fingers into blender.

82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83.Blood loss is bad.

84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86.Answer every question with a question.

87.Ask people what gender they are.

88.Note reactions.

89.Refer to people as "mortal".

90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94.Kill them.

95.Brutally.

96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97.Dunk head in boiling water.

98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,"Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"


click here or i will eat your brains mwha ha ha

-

CENTERIMG the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz./B/URL/CENTER

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dear Order by SilverWolf7007 reviews
"I'm still alive, as you may surmise from this note. Of course, I could be dead and someone is faking the letter to fool you…" Harry is NOT happy about being left at Privet Drive all summer with no one to talk to.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 29,689 - Reviews: 6529 - Favs: 10,233 - Follows: 10,407 - Updated: 9/19 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L. - Complete
Magical Relations by evansentranced reviews
AU First Year onward: Harry's relatives were shocked when the Hogwarts letters came. Not because Harry got into Hogwarts. They had expected that. But Dudley, on the other hand...That had been a surprise. Currently in 5th year. *Reviews contain SPOILERS!*
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 71 - Words: 269,602 - Reviews: 5541 - Favs: 5,875 - Follows: 7,369 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Harry P., Dudley D.
The Art of Hidden Personas by whitedwarf reviews
HP/LV Harry grows up relying on only himself until his adoption, when he is taught the manners and politics of high pureblood circles. Masking his dark intelligence at Hogwarts & intending to escape notice, past secrets and Dark Lords force his hidden hand.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 199,424 - Reviews: 5334 - Favs: 5,878 - Follows: 7,076 - Updated: 1/5 - Published: 1/18/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
Rebirth by Athey reviews
Two boys grow up together in an orphanage, grow powerful at school, are torn apart by death and brought back together by rebirth. Horcruxes aren't the only way to live forever. Necromancy, reincarnation, TR/HP Slash dark!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 40 - Words: 269,743 - Reviews: 2813 - Favs: 5,838 - Follows: 4,013 - Updated: 8/16/2015 - Published: 11/18/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort, Tom R. Jr.
Harry Mewter by Alex Ultra reviews
Harry decides he wants to try Animagi, and persuades Hermione to help... this changes them... a lot. Crossover, of sorts, with Pokemon. Mew!Harry. Not as stupid as it sounds.
Crossover - Pokémon & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 203,953 - Reviews: 1640 - Favs: 3,737 - Follows: 3,154 - Updated: 1/28/2015 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Mew, Harry P. - Complete
Weapon by Jade Tatsu reviews
Sequel to Possession. Lucius' Rebellion failed which saved the Light and now the true battle against the Dark begins. Working with the Order and the Ministry, can Harry remain undetected and keep his promise to his beloved Lord Voldemort? Slash LVHP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 92 - Words: 375,531 - Reviews: 1070 - Favs: 1,019 - Follows: 1,113 - Updated: 12/22/2014 - Published: 11/3/2005 - Harry P., Voldemort
Harry Potter and the Marcello School by Kjkit reviews
Beginning of summer, Harry is getting over happenings in 5thyr when he is kidnapped and a door of opportunity opens... reviews welcome! COMPLETE! - 09/12 I'm aware of a few chapter loading issues - will be trying to fix when i can!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 54 - Words: 179,819 - Reviews: 1626 - Favs: 2,373 - Follows: 580 - Updated: 9/12/2014 - Published: 3/19/2004 - Harry P. - Complete
Dark Release season 4 rewrite by frosty600 reviews
This is the second part in my Buffy series rewrites. It focuses on the fourth season of Buffy. Buffy has graduated High School & is beginning College. Whilst Angelus begins his campaign to make Buffy his mate. B/Aus.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 467,704 - Reviews: 477 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 9/7/2014 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Angelus, Buffy S.
Playing With Fire by NorthernTrash-x reviews
Grimmjow/Ichigo. Sequel to 'Markings'. Because things like these are worth the heat.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 108,409 - Reviews: 293 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 354 - Updated: 12/19/2013 - Published: 10/22/2010 - Ichigo K., Grimmjow J.
30 Reasons Why Remus Should Choose Sirius by Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love reviews
Sirius is fed up with Tonks' endless flirting with Remus and decides to write a list of reasons why Remus should stay with him. 1 Sirius is a man...2 ...A manly man...3 ...with a cock...4 ...a big one...5 ...That Remus would miss. RLSB SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,198 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 12/14/2013 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Horror Of Our Love by LeontinaStardust reviews
AU! In a world where Neville Longbottom was declared the Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter grew up in a happy, loving family, but all of that changed when he met Tom Riddle. TMR/HP slash. Dark!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 178,747 - Reviews: 1415 - Favs: 1,790 - Follows: 2,224 - Updated: 9/14/2013 - Published: 11/2/2011 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
50 Things James Potter Is Not Allowed To Do by Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love reviews
Lily writes a list of things that James is forbidden to do. 4 Sing 'I'm Too Sexy' whilst wearing a bright pink tutu and ballet shoes. 5 Sing 'I'm Too Sexy' whilst attempting to grope McGonagall. FOURTH ONESHOT POSTED :
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,060 - Reviews: 439 - Favs: 432 - Follows: 305 - Updated: 8/18/2013 - Published: 7/19/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Hollow Thunder, Vital Lightning by Aariya07 reviews
Life after Voldemort is ideal and perfect for everyone except the one who made it possible. Unbelievably bored and unhappy, Harry performs a spell that will take him to an alternate universe where he can be happiest & active with Voldemort. Even he hadn't expected the outcomes or how the spell would misinterpret his desires. ::AU; slash::
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 151,638 - Reviews: 1204 - Favs: 3,629 - Follows: 4,263 - Updated: 6/6/2013 - Published: 2/22/2008 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
Returning To The Start by Akanesi reviews
It is a great tragedy, to be destroyed from the inside out, by the things you have done. No one is blaming you for them, no one even knows they are there, but the small voice in the back of your head is raging. It is making you feel guilt. It is tearing you down and setting you aflame.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 21 - Words: 32,212 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 12/23/2009 - 10th Doctor, The Master
The Void by Akanesi reviews
Continued on from "The End Of Time", because truly, there is never an end to the madness, only new beginnings.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Angst/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 20 - Words: 24,836 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 2/17/2013 - Published: 1/1/2010 - The Master, 11th Doctor
Viper by Nocens reviews
AU.When the Dursleys leave a baby Harry Potter in an alley they have no idea their actions will create an evil to rival only Voldemort's. Evil!Harry, Slytherin!Harry and later on HPLV slash. Gods and Immortals, demons and vampires.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Crime - Chapters: 19 - Words: 110,226 - Reviews: 899 - Favs: 2,052 - Follows: 1,136 - Updated: 12/31/2012 - Published: 2/4/2005 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Death Eater Files by Queen of Duct Tape reviews
A collection of oneshots about Death Eaters, all 55 words or less. This is not technically finished, as I will be writing more, but since every chapter is a story in itself, it's always complete. Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 128 - Words: 9,465 - Reviews: 617 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 10/10/2012 - Published: 1/2/2006 - Voldemort - Complete
To Be Insane, Or Not To Be Insane by Roslyn Drycof reviews
To avoid becoming a Death Eater, Draco copies Hamlet and pretends to be insane. Harry acquires a phobia of performing magic, and Lockhart, who likes to be called Rooney, has a friend who's a talking wall. These three share a therapist. HPDM, humor, slash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,599 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 275 - Updated: 9/11/2012 - Published: 12/13/2005 - Draco M., Harry P.
Ends and Means by HaruJam reviews
Whilst teaching Harry Occlumency, Snape and Dumbledore find a memory block in Harry's mind. 'For the greater good' they destroy the block in the hopes that Harry will become more powerful and be able to defeat the Dark Lord. Do the ends justify the means?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 25 - Words: 104,934 - Reviews: 1606 - Favs: 1,975 - Follows: 2,690 - Updated: 8/7/2012 - Published: 7/29/2007 - Harry P.
Dark and Light by Faust VII reviews
He was a genius. He could paint, play music, talk to snakes, control fire. He was more powerful and intelligent then any knew. He had strong 'friends'. The problem was, he had few emotions. Dark Harry. I Do Not Own Harry Potter. -Slash-
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 53 - Words: 102,267 - Reviews: 2994 - Favs: 7,284 - Follows: 4,325 - Updated: 7/22/2012 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
PCP Plot Bunnies by TalaDentro reviews
Question: What happens when characters decide to argue with the author? Answer: The author gets distracted and ends up writing a crack fic! Lucius x Harry slash craziness! I don't know what happened, things just took a turn for the much odder than usual.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,082 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/7/2012 - Published: 10/26/2009 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
A Shattered Prophecy by Project Dark Overlord reviews
A twist of Fate… an opened window… a cradle robbed… two frantic parents… a lost hope, along with a shattered Prophecy. Moved to 'M' for future violence. Extending take down until July 1, 2012, so I have time respond to everyone and its gives people time to finish reading.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 26 - Words: 85,376 - Reviews: 1097 - Favs: 1,398 - Follows: 698 - Updated: 5/28/2012 - Published: 1/20/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Son of a Dark Lord by Tiro reviews
Harry Potter isn't really Harry Potter. Neither is he the Boy-Who-Lived, and is therefore thrown away as trash. When he turns sixteen, glamours unwraps his true self and he leaves the Light to find his real family. Slash, HP/DM.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 91,294 - Reviews: 1209 - Favs: 3,776 - Follows: 2,066 - Updated: 5/7/2012 - Published: 12/30/2010 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Blood Dance by ShadeDancer reviews
Sequel to Blood's Sacrifice. Harry and Blaise are back for another year, but this time things are going to be vastly different with Manuel incapacitated. Rated just to be safe.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,347 - Reviews: 751 - Favs: 1,287 - Follows: 1,722 - Updated: 4/14/2012 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Harry P., Blaise Z.
Bloody Skies by Toki Mirage reviews
Being a gay Hero hunted by a crazy Dark Lord with delusions of immortality, a barmy old Headmaster who thinks it's his job to save the world, and the odd vampire trolling through the halls at night looking for a midnight snack isn't easy. Just ask Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 29 - Words: 332,494 - Reviews: 4883 - Favs: 5,443 - Follows: 4,374 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 2/24/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Breeding Darkness by Athey reviews
Descent Into Darkness Sequel. Harry escapes Privet Dr for the summer after 4th year by staying with Tom. Death Eater meetings, training, and discovering new depths to his relationship with the Dark Lord. Harry grows and changes even more. Discontinued
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 27 - Words: 242,408 - Reviews: 2465 - Favs: 3,902 - Follows: 2,929 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
A Different Life by Tiro reviews
They all thought Lily was Light. She wasn't. She was in love with the Dark Lord, and gave birth to his son. Now Erus Riddle is growing up, showing just how evil the son of Lord Voldemort can be. Of course, the Light doesn't know that fact. SLASH-FIC.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 64 - Words: 366,567 - Reviews: 2856 - Favs: 3,965 - Follows: 2,138 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 12/28/2007 - Voldemort, Harry P. - Complete
Drumming the Spirit out of the Storm by Time Lady 802379 reviews
The Master has waited for his chance, and now the time for revenge has arrived. With the Doctor powerless in his grasp, and Martha and Jack taken care of, the Master can have some fun! Major DoctorWump! On a long hiatus, while I decide to carry on or not.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,241 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 12/19/2011 - Published: 5/19/2009 - 10th Doctor, The Master
Sarcasm is one more service we offer by Fayth3 reviews
Rose and the Doctor get locked in a cell and locked in a battle of wits... pity only one of 'em's armed.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,501 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 10/23/2011 - Published: 12/15/2006 - Complete
Misadventures with the Doctor by Noofle reviews
Just meant to be a collection of short stories about some misadventures with the Doctor and Brittany, my own companion. Born one day late at night, so don't say I didn't warn you...
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 18,436 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/9/2011 - Published: 5/1/2009 - 10th Doctor
Angel by MoonyFaced reviews
Tom the leader of the demons was searching for his mate. Its time to find him. SLASH TMR/HP or LV/HP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,064 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 8/8/2011 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
Tainted: The Hero's Revenge by LilyMagic reviews
After undergoing an unexpected but gradual change, Harry Potter struggles to resist corruption as he treads a perilous path of deception and vengeance that is destined to intertwine with an old enemy's and with a hidden darkness so great it puts Voldemort to shame. COMPLETE. Non slash, vampires, dark fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 14 - Words: 93,395 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 7/19/2011 - Published: 7/22/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Death of Today by Epic Solemnity reviews
COMPLETE LV/HP: Raised in a Muggle orphanage, Harry arrives at Hogwarts a bitter boy. Unusually intelligent, he's recruited by the Unspeakables and the Death Eaters at a young age. As he grows older, he constantly has to struggle to keep his footing around a manipulative and bored Dark Lord, who fancies mind games and intellectual entertainment.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 71 - Words: 500,882 - Reviews: 8027 - Favs: 7,061 - Follows: 3,633 - Updated: 6/6/2011 - Published: 9/26/2009 - [Voldemort, Harry P.] Lily Evans P., Lucius M. - Complete
Dark Apprentice by padawan lynne reviews
When Voldemort decides to take Harry Potter as his apprentice instead of killing him, the Wizarding World is in for a shock. Goodbye Harry Potter, hello Lord Raiden.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 40 - Words: 145,043 - Reviews: 569 - Favs: 1,074 - Follows: 968 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 11/11/2008
Life as a Snake by FairyTails13 reviews
What do you do when the only person you know can understand you is your most hated enemy? After some unfortunate events, Harry is now a Snake. How the hell is he supposed to defeat Voldemort now? Or does he want to? Dark!Harry LVxHP Chapters 1-6 Edited
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,050 - Reviews: 602 - Favs: 1,827 - Follows: 2,393 - Updated: 4/18/2011 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
A Sense of Something Sacred by Shower Bubbles reviews
Some things are not always as they seem. Light is not always good and dark is not always evil. Harry finds out to he has been lied to and joins Voldemort in revealing Dumbledore’s lies to world. The wizarding world is in for a shock. Tom/Harry.SLASH!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 71,136 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 841 - Follows: 899 - Updated: 4/4/2011 - Published: 7/31/2009 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
The Dark Phoenix by AussiePhoenix reviews
Sequal to New Dark Lord. Harry was never going to stand by and watch his world fall apart. A fight to save the man he loves, a struggle to save his soul. Harry becomes his own worst nightmare. Snarry. Slash. Detailed summery inside.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 63,832 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 1/12/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Burning Desire by Bizarre Dreamscapes reviews
Post OotP AU/evil!Harry/ Voldemort has changed his mind. Instead of killing Harry, he wants something else from the Boy Who Lived. Being who he is he will not allow denial. YAOI /light bashing/warnings inside / D/s, BDSM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 93,742 - Reviews: 424 - Favs: 816 - Follows: 1,054 - Updated: 3/3/2011 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Voldemort, Harry P.
His Own Man by Crunchysunrises reviews
In the station between Life and Death Harry makes a different choice. Now he is eleven again, nothing is going the same as before, and people are starting to ask questions, especially the Malfoys, the Hogwarts professors and, most worryingly, Mad-Eye Moody. Harry is beginning to suspect that he might not be up to this Master of Death business and everything that goes along with it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 31 - Words: 147,481 - Reviews: 5066 - Favs: 11,551 - Follows: 13,020 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Harry P.
TARDIS Drabbles Of Randomness by reddwarfaddict reviews
Collection of 100 and 200 word drabbles centered around the TARDIS crew. Pairings and ratings vary. Latest... Shrunk In The Wash: A slight accident with a washing machine... [Varying Whump, ratings and pairings]
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 14,199 - Reviews: 603 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 1/1/2011 - Published: 11/27/2007 - 10th Doctor
The Changer by Vingilot reviews
Harry Potter has been missing since he was eight. Now, seven years later, Severus Snape has a one night stand that just doesn’t seem to end. How long will they be able to keep their secrets? HPSS
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 97,320 - Reviews: 4217 - Favs: 4,221 - Follows: 4,571 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 2/23/2006 - Harry P., Severus S.
Chapter of a Lost Future by Tiro reviews
Sequel to A Second Chance. Diablos and the gang are back, this time for a last painful fight against a Dumbledore from a time when war the least of people's problems. Rated M for violence in some chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 57,438 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 556 - Follows: 360 - Updated: 12/28/2010 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Darkly Treacherous by xxlostdreamerxz reviews
AU: What if Harry grew up neglected by his parents? What if he had been kidnaped by Voldemort and raised as his dark heir? Read and find out!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 84,624 - Reviews: 4417 - Favs: 4,384 - Follows: 4,081 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 8/17/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort
Darkly Dreaming Harry by Lineape reviews
Five minutes pass before the neighbors decide to call triple nine; another ten before the fire-engine arrives. The Dursleys were dead long before that. Psychopath!Intelligent!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 37,801 - Reviews: 727 - Favs: 1,618 - Follows: 1,707 - Updated: 11/29/2010 - Published: 2/17/2010 - Harry P.
Fighting Back by Miarix reviews
A six year old Harry encounters Lord Voldemort in his hour of despair. The Wizarding World will never be the same. No Slash. Features a Sarcastic Harry, cause I love him.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 70,294 - Reviews: 1147 - Favs: 2,270 - Follows: 2,332 - Updated: 11/24/2010 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort
Curse of the Mistletoe COMPLETE! by Hedw1g reviews
Dumbledore has installed mischivious mistletoe around Hogwarts at Christmas..and it's cursed and out to get everyone! will anyone escape it's clutches, or will they succumb to it's demands?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 139,952 - Reviews: 2727 - Favs: 1,327 - Follows: 840 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 3/2/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Compassion by Lucillia reviews
There are a few times that the Master has had a small modicum of compassion for his fellow beings.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/29/2010 - The Master - Complete
Harry Potter and the Descent into Darkness by Athey reviews
4th yr. Through an accident Harry and Voldemort's Horcrux begin to interact and Harry slowly begins to change. He becomes stronger & slowly grows aware of the sinister events that have perpetuated his entire life. Dark!Harry eventual LV/HP SLASH
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 267,992 - Reviews: 1344 - Favs: 6,148 - Follows: 1,707 - Updated: 10/2/2010 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
The Rise of Darkness by dart93 reviews
Rose Potter, Harry's sister is thought to be the chosen one. Ignored and forgotten, Harry runs away and is found in the forest by Voldemort. Raised as the secret heir of the Dark Lord, Harry will do anything to put the Dark Lord in power. EvilHarry Slaves
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Crime - Chapters: 15 - Words: 51,402 - Reviews: 383 - Favs: 1,426 - Follows: 771 - Updated: 10/2/2010 - Published: 7/30/2010 - Harry P. - Complete
Dear Dark Lord by Mihra-Attar reviews
Harry's bored and at the Dursley's. Drabble. Letter-fic. NOW RATED M! HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,164 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 7/27/2010 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Raven's Anger by oso1991 reviews
He was abandoned by the Dursleys in New York City. Found by an Italian mobster surrounded by ravens, he grew to be the most powerful Don that New York ever witnessed. Absolutely ruthless and feared by all, what happens now when he is found by Dumbledore?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Crime/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 48,849 - Reviews: 945 - Favs: 2,993 - Follows: 2,964 - Updated: 7/24/2010 - Published: 2/9/2010 - Harry P., Daphne G.
An Idle Mind Is The Devil's Playground by night flame miko reviews
A bored Harry Potter is never a good thing. Dumbledore told him he couldn't write to friends, so what about enemies? Watch as because of this, things change and truths come to 'light' or 'dark' as the case may be . warning: Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 33,289 - Reviews: 2767 - Favs: 4,477 - Follows: 4,900 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
Angering the Storm by RandomCheeses reviews
A certain System Lord learns why you should not anger SG-1 and the Doctor in the same day.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 38,968 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 392 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 6/29/2010 - Published: 4/23/2009 - 10th Doctor, J. O'Neill - Complete
101 Ways Marauders annoy Voldemort by ubetchaimhot reviews
101 ways the Marauders would annoy Voldemort if they snuck into his mansion undercover. Peter is not in this one. The Marauders create chaos. Caution: involves flying projectiles and wands breaking and weird music. A collection of one-shots.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 11,939 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 10/12/2008 - James P., Sirius B.
A Day in the Life by Noofle reviews
Just a bit of accidental body-swapping between Jack and the Doctor. What could possibly go wrong?
Crossover - Doctor Who & Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,703 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/20/2010 - Published: 10/10/2009 - 10th Doctor, Jack H.
Dear Voldemort, It's Me, Harry by siriuslives394 reviews
Harry has one simple request for his arch nemesis: could he stop trying to kill him? Please?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,193 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
You're a What? by Farsight020 reviews
When a familiar Death Eater threatens a young Muggle, he gets a different reaction than he expected. As do Voldemort, the Obliviators, and Cornelius Fudge. Now added: Hannah and her Meeting with the Savior of the World. Pure Humor. Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,764 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 3/9/2010 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Lucius M., Voldemort - Complete
Hedwig and the Goblet of Fire by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Harry uses Hedwig to test the restrictions on the Goblet of Fire. Obviously, they're not good enough to stop the smartest owl in Britain!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,993 - Reviews: 396 - Favs: 2,917 - Follows: 633 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Harry P., Parvati P. - Complete
Ring Around His Rosie by ShadeDancer reviews
Continuing the adventure started in Once Upon A Rug. Rowena sent Salazar another gift...Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,271 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 14 - Published: 2/25/2010 - Godric G., Salazar S. - Complete
Pink Toads and Lavender Goats by Farsight020 reviews
You're a What?" continues. The day after "You're a What?" concluded, Albus Dumbledore and Dolores Umbridge dare to walk into Hannah Cook's coffee shop.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,516 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 37 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Albus D., Dolores U.
Paraselenic by EmpyrealFantasy reviews
ºHPTR / HPLVº With maturity comes understanding, and Harry understands just fine. After ten years in training, Harry returns to the moment he left…with a whole new plan for himself. ºThe Light will never know what hit itº Vampire!Harry Dark!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 221,605 - Reviews: 3817 - Favs: 5,745 - Follows: 2,744 - Updated: 1/24/2010 - Published: 5/10/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Parting The Continents by Big D on a Diet reviews
Horrible, horrible DLP-inspired crackfic. Easily my worst work ever. Features Evil!Harry/Cannibal!Luna/Confused!Laurasia. Don't know who Laurasia is? Neither does anyone else. You will regret reading this as much as I regret writing it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,198 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 31 - Published: 1/21/2010 - Harry P., Luna L.
The Doctor Who Knew Too Much by Pelman reviews
Glimpses into the life of the Doctor. Chapter 91: "What would I become?"- An AU take on "The Next Doctor."
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 91 - Words: 29,207 - Reviews: 316 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 1/3/2010 - Published: 2/25/2009
Telgars by w1nter reviews
Based on 'Dragonsdawn'. Sallah does not die! This is what I think should have happened in 'Dragonsdawn' - because no-one wanted Sallah killed off. :D Please read and review! COMPLETE.
Dragonriders of Pern series - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,642 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/3/2010 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Complete
The Not So Black Letters: Negotiation by Amber Akasha reviews
This is a bonus chapter, featuring the negotiation between Harry and Voldemort from TNSBL, answering to the questions many people have posed: How did Harry join Voldemort? Why did Voldemort agree to take him in?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,816 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 29 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Not So Black Letters: The Prelude by Amber Akasha reviews
This is a bonus chapter, featuring the beginning of T NS BL, answering to the questions many people have posed: How did Harry decide to join Voldemort? And why?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,073 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 19 - Published: 10/27/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
The Darkness Within by Tiro reviews
Harry has killed Voldemort. He was forced to return to the Dursleys, and now hears a voice in his head. The voice comforts him in a way no one else has, but who is it? And what will Harry do with his life now when he’s free? Slash LM/HP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,644 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 1,684 - Follows: 242 - Published: 9/15/2009 - Lucius M., Harry P. - Complete
In Memory I by becka reviews
Slash. What if someone followed Hagrid the night he delivered Harry to the Dursleys? How would Harry's life have been different? AU that follows Harry as he grows up with the abusive Dursleys, and continues to his time at Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 73,039 - Reviews: 1705 - Favs: 3,082 - Follows: 2,920 - Updated: 9/8/2009 - Published: 11/9/2003 - Harry P.
A Perfect Grace by Blaithin-mae reviews
Harry had asked the devil for the power to defeat Voldermort and the devil asked for his heart in return. There had been laughter in his dreams ever since. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 419 - Follows: 91 - Published: 9/3/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
101 Ways to Kill Ron Weasley by The Santi reviews
What word would you use to describe Ron Weasley? Scholar? Gentleman? Friend? Yeah, I didn't think so.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,194 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 402 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Ron W.
Assorted Magical Violence N' Slaughter! by Astarel reviews
THIS, my children, is why demented people should not be allowed to wield magic. In this insane story, I slaughter the entire school population, usurp Lord Voldy and cast the Reductor Curse on small furry animals. THIS! IS! ASTAREL!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,900 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 7/29/2009
The Deafening Silence by SemeSideOfThePaddle reviews
Harry didn't like him, he didn't like him at all. But Merlin whatever he was doing felt good, and Harry wanted more.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,057 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 8/20/2009 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Darkness Is Coming Birthday fic by Pliva reviews
The Darkness Is Coming is one year old! Have three celebratory birthday drabbles
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,844 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Complete
Parental Advisory by Amber Akasha reviews
Eleven-year-old Harry Potter is visited by the Headmaster, McGonagall and Snape, who are to introduce him to magic. How could that conversation turn out, when Harry has a pretty twisted mind? Rated for language
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,960 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Harry P.
Truth or Dare Harry Potter Style by Chazz girl reviews
The Harry potter Characters get together for a little game of truth or dare. Watch as Voldemort wears a tutu and looks good in it and Snape act like Gilderoy Lockhart! Is hermione a virgin? Or isn't she? FIND OUT AND READ THIS FANFIC! oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,088 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 12 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Complete
Roadkill by Piper Julian reviews
Voldemort avoided death as a spirit for 13 years. Strangely, he couldn't avoid a bus. One Shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 413 - Favs: 1,321 - Follows: 168 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Voldemort, Stan S. - Complete
52 pickup lines that will NOT get you a date by Twinkie reviews
Sirius finally decides to help James get Lily by giving him 52 pick-up lines, all of which fail. Horribly. Suggestions welcome, R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,150 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/4/2009 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P.
I Know A Song That'll Get On Ya Nerves! by wolfchasing reviews
One day, Jack stumbles along a secret room in the TARDIS. Inside is a tablet, that'll make the Doctor do strange things. How could he not pass this up! Written for Jessa L'Rynn's April Challenge 2. Jack, Rose and Nine. Rating for near nudity and swearing
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,894 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - 9th Doctor, Jack H.
When Oreos Get Involved by briiittx xhc reviews
What happens when you mix bella, the cullens, and oreos? First ever fanfict! Please read and review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,964 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 6/21/2009 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Bella, Emmett
The Great Sparkly Book of Lols by Iskeirka reviews
Armed with the keyboard at my fingertips and my hatred of all thing Twilight, I endevour to tear Twilight to shreds in your eyes, and if I can crack you up laughing in the process, all the better. This is what would happen if I was Bella Swan.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,817 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 6/20/2009 - Published: 2/7/2009
Searching for Disaster by Shadow Rebirth reviews
ABANDONED. Owls, cauldrons, and pointed hats? Harry Potter was not amused. And he still wasn't entirely sure that his human trafficking theory had been wrong. Warning! Features a very cynical Harry. [AU, no pairings.]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 40,849 - Reviews: 1033 - Favs: 2,594 - Follows: 2,842 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Harry P.
Because Crack Just Can't Explain This by Redfaerie reviews
An extremely random crack-fic in which Ritsuka has a lobster thrown at him, gets chased by blue jays, Kio is perhaps the most ADD person alive, Yayoi is his drug dealer, which explains so much, and the city has a random cornfield...is that a pinata!
Loveless - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,063 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Ritsuka A.
EDWARD CULLEN by omaigooo reviews
If you are reading this, that means you've just purchased your very own EDWARD CULLEN. Go throught the guide for more information on the item purchased. Funny.one-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,238 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/11/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Edward - Complete
Thor Does Not Forget by RandomCheeses reviews
SG-1 come across a weird energy source and Col.O'Neill gives the Doctor some bad news. Short, silly crossover.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,286 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 5/5/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - 10th Doctor, J. O'Neill - Complete
Harry Potter and the Dark Knight by Denial and Deception reviews
Madness is like gravity, all you need is a little push...Dark!Harry, Evil!Harry, Azkaban,Rated M for violence, You knew someone would do this eventually...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 43,603 - Reviews: 728 - Favs: 1,129 - Follows: 1,195 - Updated: 4/19/2009 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Harry P.
15 things you never want to hear again by RandomCheeses reviews
Travelling with The Doctor is always a bit risky. Even so there are some things you NEVER want to hear the Time Lord say again. First n a series.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,748 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 2/25/2008 - 10th Doctor - Complete
Second Chance by Noofle reviews
S1 Ep 1. A monster, a 38th century city and a man in a blue suit that Brittany never thought she would see again. Yeah...a recipe for disaster. Sequel to The Darkness Beneath.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 24,399 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/25/2009 - Published: 2/14/2009 - 10th Doctor - Complete
I Hate Everything About You by Death'sAngel18 reviews
Harry runaways and gets bit by a vampire,in order to bring the world to peace Dumbeldore traps him in a mansion with Voldemort,Snape,Draco,and Blaise.What will happen when Blaise and Draco become his friends and he falls in love with Voldemort?DM/BZ HP/LV
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,951 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort
Curse of Fate by Mistress Nika reviews
Immortal Harry, after watching friends and family die over thousands of years, only wants to join his loved ones in death. Believing he's found a way, he sends himself back into the body of his infant self, vowing to change his fate. Dark Lord Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 168,398 - Reviews: 3506 - Favs: 6,195 - Follows: 5,722 - Updated: 3/10/2009 - Published: 12/15/2005 - [Harry P., Lucius M.]
By Deaths To Die by Sin Maxwell and Co reviews
When Harry is tragically murdered, he thought it was the end. Apparently not. He will have his revenge and Voldemort will help. SLASH. HP/LV
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 28,663 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 1,038 - Follows: 364 - Updated: 3/5/2009 - Published: 5/3/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Black Death by Tiro reviews
Everyone thought that the Boy-Who-Lived was dead. They were wrong. Light-bashing, heavily so.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,200 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 1,572 - Follows: 309 - Published: 2/8/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Darkness Beneath by Noofle reviews
The tenth Doctor and Jack Harkness decide to go on a holiday. However, they find something they were not expecting when members of their tour group start to die. The Doctor is suspected, but can he convince them otherwise? Set after Journey's End.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 28,258 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/3/2009 - Published: 10/28/2008 - 10th Doctor, Jack H. - Complete
Curse of Fate: Outtakes by Mistress Nika reviews
Pervy wandmakers, sudden unexplained metamorphosis, world domination, massive destruction, G Dubbya, a terrified sorting hat, evil/insane Harry, things you absolutely should NOT do at Hogwarts, traumatized Severus and so much more!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,533 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 12/27/2006
Manipulation is Key by meikouhaikitsune reviews
When running away from fear of his Uncle's wrath, Harry uses Floo Powder and lands in a place and a situation worse than his muggle home.Harry ends up in Voldemort's mansion and Tom admits his obsession, to himself. Being Revamped HpxLvxTr
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 86,291 - Reviews: 327 - Favs: 482 - Follows: 511 - Updated: 1/7/2009 - Published: 4/1/2006 - Tom R. Jr., Harry P.
Tom? by Keaira Rogue reviews
Harry and Tom are discussing what Harry should call our dear dark lord. Please read and review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 286 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 40 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Riddle's Son by AoMorigirl reviews
What would have happened if Voldemort took Harry instead of trying to kill him? And then what would happen, if, a year later, some one left another baby on his doorstep? What will happen when they enter school, and will Harry be dark?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,716 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 12/15/2008 - Published: 8/23/2007 - Harry P.
Death Drinkers 3 by Lamia of the Dark reviews
Oneshot. The usual group, plus Snape, gets called to the Dark Lord's room for drunk funtime. This time the game is Describe Your Sex Life With Song Titles. Warnings for drinking and sexual references.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 743 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Voldemort, Bellatrix L. - Complete
Cullen Counselling by ocicat reviews
Edward and Emmett need to deal with their issues. Just a bit of funny fluff that popped into my head. Please R&R. No longer a one shot...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,206 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/24/2008 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Edward, Emmett
The Punchline by Demon-Rose reviews
The punchline to the greatest joke ever. What does the joker see in the world that's so funny?
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,383 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/16/2008
Hogwarts Chat Rooms by siriuslives394 reviews
Hogwarts gets a budget raise. Because of this, they decide to modernize! A bunch of teen students and teachers, each with their own Internet connection. Not a pretty picture. The story says complete, but it doesn't end till I run out of ideas.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 15,289 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 10/19/2008 - Published: 7/22/2007 - Complete
Death Drinkers 2: Karaoke by Lamia of the Dark reviews
Crack of the highest order. The much anticipated sequel to Death Drinkers. This time they go to bar, play a little I Never, and sing karaoke. Even more random than the first one.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,403 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Voldemort, Bellatrix L. - Complete
number of things you should not do to surtain ppl by Death Demon and a Blood Angel reviews
The title says it all. Hope you like it! This is for all ODOW characters.
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,425 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/8/2008 - Published: 9/20/2008
Quirk of a Dark Lord by ShadeDancer reviews
Every Dark Lord has some quirk or another, here are Voldemorts. Sorta Slashy, no real pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,190 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 10/5/2008 - Published: 3/12/2006 - Voldemort, Lucius M.
Let's Do the Time Loop Again by Spoofmaster reviews
A Doctor Who/Stargate SG-1 crossover, originally written for the 2008 dw-cross ficathon on LiveJournal. Jack and Teal'c thought they were the only people other than Malikai who were able to sense the time loop, but what if they were wrong?
Crossover - Doctor Who & Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,930 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 24 - Published: 10/5/2008 - 10th Doctor - Complete
o0Twilight Chatroom0o by Hmfsoccer reviews
i wanted to give it a try me nd my friend were bored and only usually write Warrior stories
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,610 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/26/2008 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Bella, Edward
Irrevocable by Sword of the Shadow reviews
Sequel to Irredeemable. A monster tightening his grip. A shattered boy realising just how radical his Faustian bargain was. Everything changed, but in the end, his choices are still irrevocable. NOT hp/lv
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,786 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 9/7/2008 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort
Forgotten Childhood by Demon-Rose reviews
Harry potter is once again sent back to the Dursleys. And Tom Riddle is once again plotting. What will happen when he see's how the golden boy really lives? Rr Please! Thanks!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,607 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 297 - Follows: 393 - Updated: 9/5/2008 - Published: 5/5/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Hogwarts Blog by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles reviews
Dumbledore has started a blog. Read thoughts from Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Snape and even Voldemort! Moderately AU. Coauthored with a friend of mine. Rated T to be safe. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 169 - Words: 119,319 - Reviews: 3774 - Favs: 905 - Follows: 330 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
The Union by lunakatrina reviews
Harry learns the terrible secret of being a wizard... and is totally confused about Voldemort. But he knows one thing: Voldemort sadistically killed his parents. ...Or did he? Gen, crack, is strangely relevent to actual politics...maybe, AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,245 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 83 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Harry P.
What If the world turned its head sideways by hybrid2 reviews
Based on the question of what would happen if Harry had met the twins in Diagon Alley.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 46 - Words: 244,376 - Reviews: 2105 - Favs: 3,093 - Follows: 2,222 - Updated: 8/9/2008 - Published: 7/3/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
S1 Episode 01: Black Conscious by firebreathingfishies reviews
Ashley Chambers is dragged out of her world of boozy nights out and forced to flee a mysterious pursuer by an even more mysterious man with a blue box. He promises her safety, but it seems like he's only thrown her into the thick of it. Ten/OC. Complete.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 24,449 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 3/8/2008 - Complete
Semper Letteris Mandate by Lady Draculea reviews
HPTR Finally in the right direction, Harry learns how to survive the wizarding world and break away from the expectations and pressures placed upon him. All the while a certain Dark Lord lurks in the shadows, watching and waiting.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,343 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 551 - Follows: 786 - Updated: 7/30/2008 - Published: 8/16/2006 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
The Tenth Doctor Owner's Guide by SnowFox3 reviews
Just as it says. Never have another problem with your Tenth Doctor again with this handy guide!
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,964 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/20/2008 - 10th Doctor - Complete
Harry James Potter: Anagram by Perspicacity reviews
The Harry Potter saga told in a form where every word in the story is composed from the letters “Harry James Potter.” It's slightly harder than it looks .
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 313 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 33 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
A Twisted Timeline by MadnessPersonified reviews
Much to his displeasure, Harry is thrown back through time into his six year old body. As a result, Harry decides to contort the timeline, purely for his own amusement.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 26 - Words: 173,594 - Reviews: 1318 - Favs: 2,646 - Follows: 1,551 - Updated: 6/18/2008 - Published: 6/9/2007 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Rise of A Dark King by Naga's Shadow reviews
Attacked by his enemies, framed by the ministry,and betrayed by his friends Harry Potter is cast into the darkness. Only to be saved by the most unlikey person.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 67,933 - Reviews: 482 - Favs: 1,331 - Follows: 1,648 - Updated: 6/16/2008 - Published: 3/21/2006 - Harry P., OC
S1 Episode 02: Origins by firebreathingfishies reviews
Sequel to 'Black Conscious'. After a narrow escape from the BLFC, the Doctor and Ashley end up a little further in the past than they intended, where evil creatures and unsettling truths are waiting. Complete.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,278 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/7/2008 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Complete
The Truth Behind Evil by Tiro reviews
There was one person important to the Dark Lord in the past. His name was Alexander Viator. But who was he, if not our own Harry Potter? Time-travel fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 33,334 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 2,074 - Follows: 533 - Updated: 6/5/2008 - Published: 3/14/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Care Less by Dinkel reviews
Sometimes you really shouldn't care about all the important things and enjoy the rest... Rodolphus and Rabastan plan to do just that and Harry isn't too averse, either... now betaed Oneshot...RLHPRL...SlashThreesome
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,764 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 819 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 5/31/2008 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Rodolphus L., Harry P. - Complete
Death Drinkers by Lamia of the Dark reviews
Oneshot. Crack. Voldemort invites the Malfoys, the Lestranges, and Greyback over for a game of I Never which descends into drunken chaos. WARNINGS: for heavy drinking, cussing, and sexual references.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,299 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Voldemort, Bellatrix L. - Complete
Luck Can't Last A Lifetime by ShadeDancer reviews
Rumors can lead to some interesting pranks, but what happens when there's some truth behind the rumors. Harry/Death
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,162 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 407 - Follows: 96 - Published: 4/1/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Thank God You're Here: Big D by Big D on a Diet reviews
A collection of very short one-shots based on challenges from the “Thank God You’re Here” thread at Dark Lord Potter. TGYH is an improv game for fanfic authors that tests their ability to work against the clock and a specified word count.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,054 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 3/31/2008 - Published: 3/22/2008
Breathing Space by whitecoatswontgetme reviews
Harry is having stray thoughts on the battle field as he's facing the Dark Lord, and he's not entirely sure what is going to happen. HP/LV * One shot *
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 964 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 301 - Follows: 61 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Letters to Voldemort or Harry Potter by BatTitan reviews
Well, all I can say is to take a look at the first chapter for rules and explanations. If you have any more doubts, feel free to PM me or review with your questions. Rated for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,506 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/18/2008 - Published: 7/2/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort
Oswald the Ottoman by lunakatrina reviews
Voldemort never saw this coming! Harry aquires an ottoman...AU, ignores DH and most of HBP for it's own sanity
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,941 - Reviews: 393 - Favs: 1,202 - Follows: 300 - Updated: 2/18/2008 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
A Little Mudblood by Defying.Expectations reviews
Bellatrix comes to Malfoy Manor looking for the Dark Lord. She has a little something to give to him . . . for fanfic100, prompt fiftynine, food. Inspired by seeing Sweeney Todd, although if you haven't seen it you should still be able to follow along.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 886 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Lucius M., Bellatrix L. - Complete
The Talent He Knows Not by AoMorigirl reviews
It's the Final Battle, Harry has a surprise for Voldemort, and Voldemort's worst fear is revealed...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 578 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Published: 1/17/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Blood Mage by SilverFlameoftheWindScar reviews
(SLASH!)Used and abused, Harry is ready to give up on life. His magic saves him at a friend's insistance. A few changes are made very quickly to the Wizarding World, and Harry's behind every single one of them. Powerful!Harry Creature!Harry Dark!Harry HPLV GWDM
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 25,107 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 1,371 - Follows: 373 - Published: 12/5/2007 - [Harry P., Voldemort] Draco M. - Complete
A Sarcastic Git's Golden Rules at Hogwarts by Twisted Biscuit reviews
Hogwarts has a Sarcastic Little Git inside it’s walls. That Sarcastic Little Git is deeply disgruntled. In an effort to strike out against those who annoy him [read:everybody], he is posting mocking and vaguely offensive “Guidelines” on the notice boards.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 39,607 - Reviews: 368 - Favs: 600 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 10/30/2007 - Published: 3/9/2006 - Theodore N.
Denouement by EmpyrealFantasy reviews
[HPLV] Parody. 'The spectators gave up all pretences of fighting and gathered around them, Death Eaters, Aurors, and Order of the Phoenix members alike.' Alternate DH ending. Pointless and silly. Tribute to breaching the 1,000 review mark on Paraselenic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 61 - Published: 10/15/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Seven Characters In Search of a Story by tfm reviews
Tonks, Sirius, Snape, Narcissa, Luna, Dobby and Bob the Dementor must save the Wizarding World one evil faction at a time. Together, they walk the downward spiral to insanity. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 32,146 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/27/2007 - Published: 8/17/2007 - N. Tonks, Sirius B. - Complete
The Shower Cap Of True and Utter Evilness by siriuslives394 reviews
No one messes with Sirius's hair. No one.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,040 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/18/2007 - Sirius B. - Complete
Reign of Power by Fyrning reviews
PostOotP. The lines between Dark and Light have faded into Grey and Harry must learn to fight for himself...7th year and the war is breaking...Lords, Heirs, Vampires,werewolves, magic and more.No pairings.AU after HBP. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 29 - Words: 171,382 - Reviews: 3355 - Favs: 4,740 - Follows: 1,908 - Updated: 7/29/2007 - Published: 3/1/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
A Wizards Lament by Kage Kitsune reviews
Harry receives a gift from Dumbledore on his 15th birthday. However the gift turns out to be much more than it seems. Harry PotterTom Riddle SiriusLupin Shonen ai, Slash, Yaoi whatever you want to call it, those are the main pairings really mostly Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 45 - Words: 182,069 - Reviews: 890 - Favs: 1,052 - Follows: 497 - Updated: 7/23/2007 - Published: 8/17/2005 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
I didn't steal them! I liberated them! by lunakatrina reviews
"What on Earth were you found doing in a drunken binge this time, Potter?""I was actually not drunk!" Harry exclaimed loudly and petulantly. "I actually did this of my own free and good will toward my fellow living thing."
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,519 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 638 - Follows: 193 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Making Friendship Bracelets For The Death Eaters by Avada Cruimperio reviews
They may be called Death Eaters, but this group of minions are anything but evil, and they've decided to replace the Dark Mark with something much more fashionable... friendship bracelets!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 62,025 - Reviews: 935 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 7/27/2005 - Voldemort, Severus S.
Like Sunshine by Schildkroete reviews
Koschei and Theta, the Master and the Doctor, back in their academy days and during the rule of 'Mr Saxon'. Rated for strongly suggested future rape.
Doctor Who - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,384 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/3/2007 - Complete
Irredeemable by Sword of the Shadow reviews
HD Slash Our choices define us, but when no choice is left, we become something else entirely. A boy hero finds himself caught between two destinies, two people, and two choices. Is he fallen temporarily, or truly irredeemable? Sequel now up!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 83,438 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 7/3/2007 - Published: 5/27/2004 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Evil Summer Vacation by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Harry's summer vacation isn't exactly as the Dursley's planned. There are a few repercussions
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,322 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 1,298 - Follows: 291 - Published: 6/26/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
How Normal is THAT? by same.blue.sky reviews
The secret thoughts of Sirius, Regulus, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda. Not at all what anybody would call sane. In their defense, they turned out pretty well for people whose parents are also cousins.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,286 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 18 - Published: 5/20/2007 - Sirius B., Regulus B.
Pranks by reddwarfaddict reviews
When someone puts superglue on the fridge door handle for the Doctor, it's only the beginning...
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,098 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/17/2007 - 10th Doctor, Jack H., Rose T. - Complete
The Sorting Hat Song of 2006 by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel reviews
Oneshot. As textualsphinx noted in “A Sorting Song by Severus”, the most popular Sorting Hat song in recent times was written by Cameron Jordon… Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,259 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 12 - Published: 4/30/2007 - Complete
The Secret Lives of Hufflepuffs by L.lulu reviews
They've always been ignored shoved into the background. But now, it is time for their turn in the spotlight. We bring you, the secret lives of Hufflepuffs
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,049 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/21/2007 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Ernie M., Hannah A.
Harry Potter and the Slippery Secret by C.T.Thomas reviews
Harry returns to Hogwarts for a second year of really REALLY flamboyantly gay adverntures Continues from where Harry Potter and the Pretty Sorcerer's Balls left off. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 127,949 - Reviews: 504 - Favs: 943 - Follows: 306 - Updated: 3/27/2007 - Published: 8/2/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
Run Through the Raindrops by Sword of the Shadow reviews
Insane. Crazy. Touched. Cracked. Stark raving mad. They're the only words to describe Harry, but the Dark Lord's new found interest could change that forever.... SLASH LVHP
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,513 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 532 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 3/19/2007 - Published: 12/4/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Lettered by Dysperdis reviews
It all starts with a simple letter... Rated for later chapters Slash! HPTR HPLV! NonHBP Compliant!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 64,229 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 1,628 - Follows: 377 - Updated: 3/4/2007 - Published: 2/18/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Various Supah Powahs of One Severus Snape by lunakatrina reviews
Answers the time honored question: What would happen if Snape fell into a vat of toxic waste? Just in case anyone was wondering...total crack, ignores HBP
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,057 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 2/10/2007 - Published: 1/23/2007 - Severus S.
The Drabble Collection by Minerva McTabby reviews
Short and random HP things, rated K to M. Gen, slash, het, humor, squick, smut, angst. Featuring Snape, Harry, Hermione, Albus, Riddle, Voldemort, Sirius, Draco, Peeves, Dobby, ghosts, Dementors, Squid, etc.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,400 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/14/2007 - Published: 10/11/2003 - Severus S., Voldemort
So Sue Me by lunakatrina reviews
My take on Harry's first year starting with him getting his letters. Add a lot of sarcasm, stir, and serve cold.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 44,383 - Reviews: 2285 - Favs: 3,895 - Follows: 3,333 - Updated: 1/5/2007 - Published: 6/23/2006 - Harry P.
Darkness Unveiled by MissAX reviews
Harry runs away from his parents to find a place where he belongs...Away from home, Harry meets no one other than Voldemort, who becomes the father that he never had. Harry comes to see that the Light aren't all that they appear to be...[NOT SLASH]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 63,674 - Reviews: 815 - Favs: 1,161 - Follows: 1,232 - Updated: 12/27/2006 - Published: 3/25/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort
Once Upon A Rug by ShadeDancer reviews
SLASH! Oneshot. A tale of Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,520 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 33 - Published: 10/12/2006 - Salazar S., Godric G. - Complete
Mr Black and the Demoness by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Who is Mr. Black? Is he an ancient Dark Lord looking for redemtion? Or just a guy on vacation who's about to be fed to a demoness?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,208 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 280 - Follows: 94 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Writer's Block II by Queen of Duct Tape reviews
Or: In Which the Queen of Duct Tape Explains the Importance of a Plot to Fictional Characters. I do attract the afore mentioned affliction quite frequently, so I figured I may as well make a series.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 927 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/13/2006 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Why is Harry Smiling? by The-Caitiff reviews
Harry turns up to breakfast with a massive hangover and a silly grin. What happened and with who?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,543 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 670 - Follows: 127 - Published: 8/10/2006 - Complete
Something Lost, Something Found by lunakatrina reviews
Is now HPLV slash,This is Harry's story of his ultimate betrayal to the light and the loss of all his friends, but the finding of something more sacred and possibly as holy as power. Vampire!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 28 - Words: 61,627 - Reviews: 1051 - Favs: 987 - Follows: 964 - Updated: 8/9/2006 - Published: 7/9/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort
Chocolate Frogs by opalish reviews
Harry had never heard the Second War referred to as a bit of unpleasantness before, and he found that it was almost…reassuring. Zabini didn’t care about him and he didn’t care about Zabini, and he didn’t have to bother hiding. HarryBlaise slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,548 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 577 - Follows: 63 - Published: 8/3/2006 - Harry P., Blaise Z. - Complete
Out of a Paper Bag by Sylvia Snape reviews
As Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Snape can't help but feel a tiny bit skeptical of Harry's fighting abilites. Can Harry fight his way out of a paper bag?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,921 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/21/2006 - Published: 6/30/2006 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Freak Parade by The-Caitiff reviews
Starts as parody of the formula most independant!Harry stories follow. Overly friendly Goblins, Manipulative Dumbledore, a shopping trip, a will from Sirius etc... Then it gets weird.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,147 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 1,796 - Follows: 458 - Updated: 7/4/2006 - Published: 7/2/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
The Shortest Dark Harry Story Ever by Hybrid Blade reviews
This is just something to make fun of every Wannabe Dark Harry story i have ever seen. Contains pitiful Dark!Harry and Manipulative!Evil!Dumbledore.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,328 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 10 - Published: 6/8/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Silence by Big D on a Diet reviews
One Shot AU. Set in the future. A look at Harry and Voldemort's final battle. Dark!Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,465 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 19 - Published: 5/15/2006 - Complete
Lets do the Time Warp Again by Rorschach's Blot reviews
A potions accident throws Harry back in time into his younger self's body, he decides to go nuts and do everything he's ever wanted to do . . . and get revenge on everyone.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,402 - Reviews: 1959 - Favs: 4,354 - Follows: 1,465 - Updated: 5/3/2006 - Published: 2/4/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
The Lord of Azkaban by padfootjr24 reviews
Harry is sent to Azkaban for murder. Years later Dumbledore comes to release him but what he finds is nothing like what he was expecting. Dark and very unforgiving Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 75,711 - Reviews: 617 - Favs: 3,284 - Follows: 884 - Updated: 4/23/2006 - Published: 2/16/2005 - Complete
Harry Potter & the Azkaban Parody by Fangalla Marie and Eppy the House Elf reviews
Azkaban Story! After reading so many Azkaban stories, I have decided to write a parody of my own. This is about how everyone is demanding that Harry forgive them for betraying him without actually asking. I am going for humor more than anything
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,649 - Reviews: 2344 - Favs: 1,751 - Follows: 1,360 - Updated: 4/22/2006 - Published: 1/4/2005
Harry’s Allegiances by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Harry’s sanity, or lack thereof, is again discussed in much detail, along with his allegiances, the Houses, Dumbledore, glitter and the Daily Prophet. The day is just getting worse. Sequel to Harry’s Sanity, with about the same amount of plot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,302 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 550 - Follows: 606 - Published: 2/26/2006 - Harry P., Draco M.
Never Invade Hogwarts by lunakatrina reviews
This is a complete and utter spoof and exists purely for amusement. Voldemort invades Hogwarts, and the teachers are taken hostage: confusion, crossdressing, and dancing ensues. one shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,036 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 26 - Published: 2/17/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
Death's Manager by SilverWolf7007 reviews
“After waking up soaked in milk amid shouting, screaming, and possible murder, Harry was willing to bet his Firebolt, Hedwig and his entire collection of Weasley jumpers that the day was only going to get weirder…”
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 13 - Words: 24,456 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 2/6/2006 - Published: 7/9/2005 - Harry P., Severus S.
Writer's Block by Queen of Duct Tape reviews
Writer's block does strange things to my head... I am not responsible for my actions under the influence of chocolate and the afore mentioned affliction. Please read and review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 792 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/10/2005 - Hermione G. - Complete
Lily Had a Little Lamb by Liebesbrief reviews
“Lily had a little lamb, Little lamb, Little lamb. Lily had a little lamb, Whose hair was black as coal! And everywhere that Lily went, the lamb was sure to go!” Damn it, Potter! Stop following me!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,497 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 484 - Follows: 49 - Published: 12/9/2005 - Lily Evans P., James P. - Complete
Therapeutic Discussion by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. OneShot. If you take one relatively normal savior of the world and then subconsciously put him through typical fanfiction plots in his sleep, what do you get? A very confused man in desperate need of therapy.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,358 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 82 - Published: 11/26/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Final Demand by AWMPerry reviews
An unexpected letter arrives at Voldemort's lair what could be so terrible as to make him fear it?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 230 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2005 - Voldemort
Possession by Jade Tatsu reviews
HPLV The Dark Lord has always known what belongs to him but claiming possession might take longer than he thought and lead to betrayal but with the power such as he wields who dares? FINISHED
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 51 - Words: 122,861 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 1,554 - Follows: 426 - Updated: 11/3/2005 - Published: 9/22/2005 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Birth of a Name by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. OneShot. 1943. A Slytherin prefect on the brink of a series of lifechanging events, needs to settle on a secret identity that will inspire fear in the hearts of the weak... You didn’t think 'I am Lord Voldemort' was his first choice, did you?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,535 - Reviews: 510 - Favs: 1,776 - Follows: 270 - Published: 10/15/2005 - Complete
I Never by ShadeDancer reviews
Albus decides to introduce a muggle drinking game to a group of Hogwarts staff and two students. When will he ever learn? Slash theme present. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,060 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 649 - Follows: 109 - Published: 10/11/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
The Horrible Interpretation of the Prophecy by cuddlebearlove reviews
8th in the series. Voldemort interprets the prophecy in an odd manner, and tries to talk Harry out of it. The others in this series are referred to.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,051 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 49 - Published: 9/14/2005 - Harry P., Voldemort
Heir of Blood by ShadeDancer reviews
Sequel to Blood Prince. Harry and Blaise are back for their second year at Hogwarts and things promise to be just as exciting as their first year. Too bad their Defense teacher is another incompetent loser…Mafia Harry!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 52,398 - Reviews: 1171 - Favs: 1,926 - Follows: 567 - Updated: 8/17/2005 - Published: 1/4/2005 - Harry P., Blaise Z. - Complete
How to Write a Fan Fiction by Harry Potter and co by Susan B reviews
Have you ever wondered how to write the perfect fan fiction? Here it is, laid out for you by Harry and the gang.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,808 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/2/2005 - Published: 10/3/2004 - Harry P.
I Think Not! by Vanishing Roses reviews
Lily is a Death Eater? James loves sexy eyebrows and tea? Snape's bitter over a dead pony! Oh my! How will Harry ever survive this? Warning: slash,het,none. Lots of sarcastic humor. Read with an open mind. JamesLily, LuciusJames in chapter 1.[on hold]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,146 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/26/2005
Dark Rage by YamiPaladinofChaos reviews
[Complete] Everyone has a dark side, sleeping within us all. In the aftermath of Harry Potter's fifth year, Harry's awakes. Powerful and ruthless, nothing will stand in its way... not even Harry himself.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 24 - Words: 71,605 - Reviews: 952 - Favs: 717 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 7/1/2005 - Published: 9/18/2004 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Watering Hole by evansentranced reviews
In the aftermath of FrednGeorge's movie, they realize they forgot something. Hermione reminds them, and Harry unwillingly plays the hero. One shot. Set after WWP:HOS
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,267 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 34 - Published: 6/6/2005 - Harry P., George W. - Complete
WWP Presents: The Heir of Slytherin by evansentranced reviews
"Heir of Slytherin! Seriously evil wizard coming through!" "Yeah, he's off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant!" Watch as Harry is stalked by Fred and George, film makers Extraordinaire. Crack!fic
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,528 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 6/5/2005 - Published: 6/4/2005 - Harry P., George W. - Complete
The Very Secret LiveJournals by Arrmaitee reviews
NEW CH 8! SLASH, PARODY! These raunchy journals expose the burning secrets of Hogwarts' students & staff! Warning: contains excessive references to Harry’s eyes, Draco’s cherry, cold showers, kinky leather goodies, and a virgin sacrifice for Uncle Voldie!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,593 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 5/13/2005 - Published: 12/31/2003 - Harry P., Draco M.
Prisoners You Are Free by Sword of the Shadow reviews
Something went wrong. Things aren't as they should be. Ron knows the rebellion is dying. But the capture of one prisoner offers to change all that... until they discover who it is. One Shot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,425 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 21 - Published: 4/22/2005 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
The Power The Dark Lord Knows Of by Finbar reviews
A very silly little one shot where Harry lets Voldemort know about the Power he isnt supposed to know about...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,553 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 982 - Follows: 221 - Published: 4/4/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Crumbling Pedestal by Shivani reviews
Slash, HPSS- Harry's date with Voldemort at the conclusion of the Triwizard tournament didn't go quite as planned. Fate steps in with a 'unique' opportunity, offering Harry the chance to live and mature in the past. For a while, anyway.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 179,530 - Reviews: 893 - Favs: 3,022 - Follows: 574 - Updated: 2/15/2005 - Published: 6/21/2004 - [Harry P., Severus S.] - Complete
Front Page of the Prophet by ShadeDancer reviews
Read Heir of Blood ch 3 first. This is what would have happened if Harry's picture had ended up in the paper with Lockhart.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 45 - Published: 1/18/2005 - Complete
Blood Prince by ShadeDancer reviews
The Dursley's did what they always wanted to and got rid of Harry, but someone else found the boywholived and took him to raise as their own, Mafia King Manuel Darkov. Dumbledore won't be expecting this Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 74,457 - Reviews: 968 - Favs: 3,577 - Follows: 1,026 - Updated: 12/22/2004 - Published: 11/16/2004 - Harry P., Blaise Z. - Complete
Hermione Got Run Over By A Death Eater by Batsutousai reviews
Parody of Harry Potter and Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 444 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/17/2004 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
The Power He Knows Not? by Rorschach's Blot reviews
One Shot ficlet, on one possible way to defeat the Dark Lord.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 445 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 94 - Published: 10/21/2004 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Trelawney Prophecy by KrystalRoze reviews
Sequel to the Unexpected Inheritance. As the most powerful 17 year old wizard in the world, will Harry succumb to Voldemort's manipulations and become the Balance of Power? The fate of the wizarding world depends on one single choice. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 83,764 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 482 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 9/15/2004 - Published: 8/20/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Harry Potter and the Unexpected Inheritance by KrystalRoze reviews
Sequal to Harry Potter and the Slytherin Connection. The plot and the themes continue. Voldemort continues his manipulation, Harry becomes and Animagas, Harry is arrested, more about the balance of power and the title comes into play. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 38,467 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 487 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 8/20/2004 - Published: 8/10/2004 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Harry Potter and the Slytherin Connection by KrystalRoze reviews
It's Harry's fifth year and he's finally able to escape the Dursleys only to find that Voldemort has other plans. After numberous failed attempts to rid himself of the Gryffindor brat, Lord Voldemort now knows he must change tactics. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 78,922 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 939 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 8/10/2004 - Published: 7/27/2003 - Complete
Biology by Shivani reviews
Slash, HPBZ - It wasn't just power and ability that Tom Riddle transferred to Harry that night. He made him the son he never had, and that changes everything.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 52,019 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 1,563 - Follows: 332 - Updated: 6/25/2004 - Published: 4/28/2004 - [Harry P., Blaise Z.] - Complete
Death with Potatoes on the Side by Potato-Princess reviews
THE AUTHOR attempts to create the perfect angstful slash fic between Dracula and Van Helsing but when the two get wind of her diabolical (yet magically delicious) plot, they do everything they can to set the story right. Sound lame? You bet! A humor fic.
Van Helsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 687 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/9/2004
Family Issues by ShadowThestral reviews
What if Voldemort hadn't been hit with the Killing curse that night? What if he took Harry to raise as a dark heir? Explore a different perspective of the story and what could have been. Bad summary, just read!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 81,744 - Reviews: 816 - Favs: 679 - Follows: 429 - Updated: 6/5/2004 - Published: 11/18/2003
The Real Dolores Umbridge by Indigo Ziona reviews
Umbridge lets off steam. In the style of Eminem. Bwahahahahaha!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,138 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/25/2003
Delicious as Sin by PinkSunRise reviews
Harry's been having dreams.... HPTR SLASH it's back! revised version COMPLETED
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 44,930 - Reviews: 377 - Favs: 698 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 11/14/2003 - Published: 6/26/2003 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Remus & Severus, Loss of Albus's Keys, & Pokemon by SilverWolf7007 reviews
Dumbeldore decides to hold a feastpartyeventdancethingy for a large group of people. He locks the door to the Hall. He 'loses' his keys. What do Severus and Remus have planned? And what does it have to do with what they did last weekend? Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,791 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 11/1/2003 - Published: 9/12/2002 - Remus L., Severus S. - Complete
Everyone's Free To Tickle Dragons by Indigo Ziona reviews
Dumbledore's highly inspirational graduation speech. Enjoy the power and beauty of your common room. Don't be reckless with other people's wands. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 878 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 30 - Published: 8/26/2003
Harry Potter and the Pretty Sorcerors Balls by C.T.Thomas reviews
What if Harry Potter was really REALLY flamboyantly gay? Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 60,964 - Reviews: 382 - Favs: 1,363 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 8/2/2003 - Published: 4/7/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
Anyone For a Game of Truth or Dare? by SilverWolf7007 reviews
The teachers lock a group of Hogwarts students in the Potions classroom for several hours. A game of truth or dare, a game of chinese whispers, and a really bad day for Snape ensue.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,328 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 77 - Published: 8/6/2002 - Harry P. - Complete
The Guy with the Eye by Minerva McTabby reviews
Potterverse parody of The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss. Set in GoF year - with Crouch-Moody as the Cat, Harry and Draco as the kids, Fawkes as the Fish, Mary Sue as Thing One and Thing Two.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,607 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/2/2002 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
That Potter Slash by Minerva McTabby reviews
Green Eggs and Ham parody. 'Nuff said. Slash Warning should be redundant, really.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 859 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 523 - Follows: 40 - Published: 1/3/2002 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

You'll be the Death of My Sanity reviews
vodemort and harry both meet a strange vampire named snake who greatly changes their lives, this leads to harry becoming evil and writting some weird letters to Vodemort
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,022 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
The last of my Sanity reviews
a buch of random doctor who one shots that came from my increadibly insane mind mainly The Doctor and Jack in this
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 275 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/6/2009 - 10th Doctor, Jack H.
world domination plans reviews
these are my world domination plans you'll just love them
Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Complete
The Dark Master reviews
Darkness covers the earth a time were immortals rule, mortals are slaves and demons have free reign on the earth, the Master rules alongside her companion and all is calm, The Shadow Lords rule over the five realms the occupy the earth and the ancients la
Vampires - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,757 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/23/2008 - Published: 9/21/2008
she be the master reviews
this is just a poem i write but im goen to make a story bout it but i need ideas
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Complete
a regular saint mary (0)
akjsfakjsblaqebdfabedfnvlkjqen (0)
AoMorigirl (4)
Avada Cruimperio (10)
Balsimka (1)
Batsutousai (119)
Big D on a Diet (11)
Bizarre Dreamscapes (6)
Bloody N (2)
Blue1eyes (0)
briiittx xhc (1)
charmkin (5)
Clutterbilly67 (14)
DaggersBloodPain (22)
Death Demon and a Blood Angel (7)
Death'sAngel18 (43)
EmpyrealFantasy (29)
Endlessly Drowning (3)
evansentranced (19)
Evie2 (11)
Fangalla Marie and Eppy the House Elf (8)
FirePhoenix8 (5)
freakazoidgirl (4)
Goddess of Cliffhangers (37)
HaruJam (2)
HeartlessFallenAngel (3)
Hedw1g (4)
Hmfsoccer (2)
ilovetwilight99 (0)
Indigo Ziona (46)
JazRox (15)
JAZZIES-GIRL (7)
JuniperHeart (3)
Just Silver (28)
Kage Kitsune (23)
Katie Van Helsing (16)
Kjkit (3)
Lamia of the Dark (461)
Loony Ferret (1)
Love Psychedelico (15)
LucasiTheKitty (0)
lunakatrina (17)
MademoiselleSilver (3)
Malister (1)
Marauders-And-Lily-I-Love (27)
meikouhaikitsune (57)
Miss.PirateQueen (8)
Mistress Nika (40)
ModernTroubadour (2)
MoonlightDewz (7)
nikkiRA (119)
nonjon (25)
Noofle (12)
ocicat (13)
omaigooo (3)
Panterawr (0)
Pienky (0)
pleasebiteme (18)
Queen of Duct Tape (21)
RandomCheeses (21)
RememberMe2 (6)
Rorschach's Blot (39)
ShadeDancer (27)
Shadow of Flame (4)
SheWolfe7 (3)
Shiny Ryuichi Sakuma (66)
SilverFlameoftheWindScar (15)
SilverWolf7007 (48)
SimonAndSimone (28)
Sin Maxwell and Co (29)
siriuslives394 (20)
smashlee4 (0)
Sodom (6)
TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel (110)
Tiro (148)
Toast and Stitch (10)
Tsurai Shi (23)
twilighter256 (6)
Unlaced Opheliac (6)
violingrl07 (1)
w1nter (10)
Writing In Converse (0)
xgummybears (4)
xMusicGurlx (6)
Manager of:
Community: Snake in the lions den
Focus: Books Harry Potter