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Joined 08-29-08, id: 1680533, Profile Updated: 04-04-10
Author has written 16 stories for Harry Potter, Twilight, Fruits Basket, Ouran High School Host Club, House of Night, Night World series, and Strawberry Panic!.


My real name is Alexsa, but my nickname is Lexi, feel free to use either.

I really like the Kaulitz twins. They're awful cute =3 TOKIO HOTEL FOR LIFE & IMMER!

Okay, now a little about me.

Hair: Very dark brown, almost black, with red-purple streaks. :)

Height: 5'4, abouts .

Eye Colour: It changes. From brown, to hazel, to gold, to just an ucky vomit colour. Oooh, sometimes they're like a forest green! :)

Glasses/Contacts?: Glasses, brown with jewels on the sides.

Piercings?: Nope, sadly, I have this weird thing with my ears that everytime I get them pierced they get infected. ): But I'd like an lipring, and possibly a tongue stud

Tattoos?: None, but I'd like maybe one or two.

Braces?: No, I'm one of the lucky ones. :)

Deviantart: xLyudiInvalidyx

THF: InsertCleverUsernameHere

I like...

-Shoes, can never get enough, just got a totally arotastic pair

-Music, life would be so freakin boring without it

-Whatthebuck ~I have to have it~

-Fanfiction, life would lose over half of its meaning without it

-Hair dye, yay! Planning to dye it silvery next.

-My bffls. (you know who ya are)

-tokio hotel

-cinema bizarre


-ouran hshc

Things I don't like...

-Homephobes, 'nuff said.


-Dakota Fanning (would not make a good Jane...)

-Certain people, who will not be named, coz I could probably get sued for that or something

Character Casting-- Maya, Takiella & Poison

Maya:http: //i51.photobucket.com/albums/f398/BoLo420/Jessica_Alba_0593.jpg

A table of drabble/one-shot prompts that I hope to complete. (Words done will be bolded)

1.Joy. 11.Yes. 21.Death. 31.Dirt. 41.Shake. 51.Real. 61.Take. 71.New. 81.Night. 91.Try.
2.Sorrow. 12.No. 22.Stars. 32.Water. 42.Broken. 52.Surreal. 62.Give. 72.Old. 82.Dark. 92.Fix.
3.Ghost 13.Flowers 23.Earing. 33.Sunrise. 43.Blood. 53.Hell. 63.Empty. 73.Spring. 83.Horrror. 93.Better.
4.Pain. 14.Hot 24. Pathetic. 34.Speed. 44.Venom. 54.Despair. 64.Alone. 74.Change. 84.Nightmare.94.Traitor.
5.Shocked.15.Rain 25.Cry. 35.Vengance. 45.Poison. 55.Late. 65.Shame. 75.Winter. 85.Dream. 95.Saviour.
6.Scream. 16.Sun 26.Cheat. 36.Lose. 46.Confusion.56.Addictive.66.Fake. 76.Fall. 86.Tear. 96.Sand.
7.Mirth. 17.Fire 27.Imperfect. 37.Victory. 47.Smoke. 57.Repulsive.67.Lie. 77.Uncertainty.87.Stale. 97.Cloud.
8.Longing. 18.Ice. 28.Love. 38.Silence. 48.Want. 58.Sin. 68.Deiceit. 78.Revenge. 88.Dance. 98.Vicious.
9.Insane19.Liquorice29.Bile. 39.Stupid. 49.Brakes. 59.Moment. 69.Created. 79.Ache. 89.Whistle. 99.Crazed.
10.Cold 20.Dress30.Rage40.Square.50.Shoelaces.60.Disgrace.70.Sadness.80.Ill.90.Relax.100.Shiny.

Theres more, but Im too lazy to type it up right now.

List twelve of your characters from your fandom, in no particular order.

1. Harry Potter

2. Draco Malfoy

3. Prof. McGonagle

4. Lucius Malfoy

5. Hermione Granger

6. Ron Weasley

7. Tom Riddle

8. Bellatrix LeStrange

9. Narcissa Malfoy

10. Prof. Dumbledore

11. Prof. Snape

12. Dobby

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Covers eyes and groans Oh god, Ron/Snape...

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Lucius? He's a freakin sexy beast.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Dobby/Bellatrix. Oh. My. Fu-

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Course! I mean, it IS Narcissa Malfoy

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Ah, you never know. Ferrets might just like Weasels.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Hermione/Narcissa or Narcissa/Dumbledore... How about I just gouge my eyes out now, okay?

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Well, if ol' Voldie walked in on Draco and Dobby, he'd probably Avada himself. I know I would.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Ooh, McGoogle/Dumbly

They'd known each other for upwards of twenty years, fought battles and consoled each other, yet one could not fathom the secret affections coming for the other.

Until now.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Bellatrix/Harry? That would be darling, actually.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

My Master, My Servant. (Tom Riddle/Dobby)

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Bellatrix? Probably something by Nine Inch Nails or screamo.

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Harry/Ron/Dobby... Have somethign to poke eyes out handy!

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Oh, I don't really like Hermione, so she's never the main character. But I read hp fics, so about twenty mins.

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

Harry and Tom are in a happy relationship until Tom runs off with Lucius. Harry, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Prof. Snape and a brief unhappy afair with Dobby then follows the wise advice of Hermione and finds true love in...McGoogle!

Damn, that is so freakin messed up, messed up doesn't even cover it. 8D

15) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to seduce One?

hmmm, well it'd probably start out as blackmail :)

16) Which partner for Three?

i dunno... Poppy, maybe?

17) How would you draw Eleven?

I cant draw, so it's sort of a moot point, but I'll play along. Uhm, probably sleeping. Randomly, in a chair in the potions classroom, so I can fangirly squee over it ;)

18) Would you write Two/Four/Five ?

No, I'd write Two/Four, but if Five is involved, then there's evil, evil het about shivers

19) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

oh god, fucky fuckity fuck, thats disturbing

20) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

So.. how's your wand doing? Need any attention? XD

21) If Four was pregnant, who would you suspect to be the father?

Oh, probs Sevvy XD

22) If One saw Six curled up in a corner crying, what would they do?

glompy hug him, which would lead to some yummy slash :)

23) If One had an extreme caffeine rush, what would you do?

laugh, get a camera & join in :)

24) If you caught Three and Nine in a closet together, you would:

die. rather horribly


I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

I hate when people are so close-minded to being Gay or Lesbian. I really have no problem with it, some of my friends do, but I can't stand homophobics. At all.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy & paste this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy & paste this into your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, LiveForInsanity, Billvy, Sheena Is A Punk Rocker, lexi1901

Who do I not like in Twilight?

Bella- Yeah, I'm one of those Bella-bashers. Honestly, don't get me started, I can go on for pages and pages, so I'll just stop here.

Kate- Yeah, I know they don't give too much of a backstory on her, but I liked Garrett (The nomad vamp, he sounds so HOT!) and Kate got him so , I don't like her.

Emily Young- Yeah, um, picture it this way: You have a boyfriend that you're totally & completely in love with, right? But then he meets your BEST FRIEND and drops you for her, and she actually goes along with it. Some best friend. And then how she thinks that its okay for her to ask Leah to be her bridesmade? that just does it for me. So lets face it, Emily sucks.

Sam- Okay, I'm not totally hating on Sam, coz I know it wasn't his fault, but I'm mad coz he didn't fight it. Otherwise, I'm okay with him.

Uknow what I noticed the other day? Jasper and Rosalie are really the only sane ones. Look, Carlisle, Esme and Edward were at some point suicidal. Then Alice's crazy. So really, they're one odd bunch.

Mmmm... Breaking Dawn.

Honestly, I didn't really like BD, it wasn't like the last Harry Potter book when J.K actually satisfied what I wanted, and gave some insight to the character's futures. But the ending of BD, was totally rushed. And not the lovely piece of fluff I wanted it to be. Then there's Renesmee. If I was Bella I'd get it out of me ASAP, no thinking at all. I know that sounds cruel, but seriously, if you think about the way Renesmee was born, it was really gross. Also erveryone was really off-character in BD. Especially Bella. Then the name Renesmee, I mean, Bella shouldn't have stopped at Renesmee Carlie. If she really love everyone she'd have gone with Renesmettalie Carjalicphil. lol

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a jerk.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.

I'm A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick some one's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm a girl who actually EATS, so I MUST be fat

I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists

I'm in MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a dork

I say what I WANT, so I MUST be a jerk

I have STRAIGHT A's, so I MUST have no social life

I have bunch of GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be banging them all

I wear what I WANT, so I MUST be a poser

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic

I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy



"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"

Don't mess with me I've got a stick

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

People of the world who HATE math UNITE! If you suck at math and think anyone who likes math is weird copy and paste this into your profile.

If you agree that rum is for drinking, not burning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.


A good or best friend!

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince/princess. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

A good friend will ask you why you are crying. A best friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just help you cry.

"Best friends through thick and thin!
If you cry, I cry,
If you laugh, I laugh,
If you fight, I got your back,
If you trip, I'll catch you when you fall,
If you jump off a bridge... Oh heck ,wait for me!"



1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism


A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love


are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.


So effin funny!!:

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.


Why America has some issues

1. Only in
America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores
make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their
prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave
both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in
America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use
answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have
drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

What Hallmark doesn’t print:

1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the
bright side, its really good pay.

2. My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at the
tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!

3. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend. Here's a
bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.

4. You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh, when they
find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

5. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! Cause when I had mine I got
real snippy.

6. Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be. But don't fret
about it, she moved in with me.

7. You totaled your car and can't remember why. Could it have been,
that whole case of Bud Dry?


OMC-Because we all know that Edward Cullen is an angel, and you know that God makes angels, and since Carlisle made Edward, he should be considered a god (OMICARLISLE)

OME-Edward himself is a god. Enough said. (OMIEDWARD)

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward," ... and it was good.


This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny to help him gain world domination! Join the dark side...WE HAVE COOKIES!!

Yay Bunny!! ( \/ )
Yay Bunny!! (='.'=)
Yay Bunny!!


An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

I agree with the dictionary. gals before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

If you truely believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming him Edward copy this into your profile. (I think Edward is really scared right now...)

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.


Did you know...

kissing is healthy. bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry. chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better. most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. (well, i like 2 think so... XD)
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

And that is the matter in which I roll.


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Melancholy by XLadySnowX reviews
Edward discovers Carlisle’s secret – he knows way more about Alice than he was willing to let anybody know – especially her. AU. Carlisle/Alice. Summary sucks, but try for me anyway? Not a one-shot! Carlisle’s POV. Lemon in later chapter. Hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,738 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 4/6/2011 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Alice, Carlisle
East by princesswingnut reviews
."Here's a short list of things that are considered unacceptable behavior at a wedding: screaming. Sobbing uncontrollably. Throwing champagne glasses. Getting in a violent slap-fight with the bride. Strangling the groom." LEAH FIC. Compass Points series.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 33 - Words: 62,065 - Reviews: 492 - Favs: 173 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/23/2010 - Published: 9/12/2008 - Leah - Complete
Broken skies by midnightmuse reviews
What if Edward did return to check Bella was alright, only to see her getting involved with Jacob. What if when he ran broken and at his lowest point, it was Rosalie that went to find him
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 27,934 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 11/24/2010 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Edward, Rosalie
Emmanuella by Little Miss Drama Queen reviews
Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy have been a couple for almost three years. When Ginny accidentally gets pregnant, Draco is ecstatic. But what happens when Draco finds out the truth about the baby? Quick sneak peek inside. Emmanuella is Ginny’s child
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,955 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/19/2010 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Ginny W., Draco M.
Perfection? by sarahtwilightlover reviews
Edward gets angry at Bella for...well you'll see. And Bella begins to realise that he's not so perfect after all...Rated T just in case. Edited 14/10/08 Post Eclipse, beginning of Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,737 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 12/1/2009 - Published: 10/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Cullen Moment by Wolf Babies reviews
This is a collection of completely random moments in time during the everlasting lives of the Cullen family.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 102 - Words: 84,587 - Reviews: 1803 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 10/31/2009 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Third Wife, Joshua U. - Complete
Love Lost and Found by aniamifan1988 reviews
Bella lives with the Cullens now. What happens when Edward finds someone he loves more? Will she ever get over the broken engagement? Will Alice and Jasper find new loves now that they are divorced? *Jasper/Bella pairing*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 21,490 - Reviews: 578 - Favs: 466 - Follows: 524 - Updated: 10/1/2009 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Jasper, Bella
Still Believe in Love by xxdarkomegaxx reviews
Edward left. Bella was pregant with Edward's baby, and James changed Bella. What do you think will happen when Edward and Bella reunite with two beautiful twins? It's still a Bella and Edward story sorry i just had to add this. Please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,500 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Pureblood Ignorance by moodygirl6 reviews
What would happen if the Weasley's were introduced to Harry and Hermione's relationship in a completely new way. With a few people shaped surprises you never what will happen when Harry's around. Chapter 17 is an UPDATE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 17,751 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G.
In the Life by InsertSomethingClever reviews
100 Word Challenge One hundred drabbles in the life of Edward and Jacob. Slash EdwardxJacob
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,312 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/5/2009 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
A Beautiful Lie by Brindalyn reviews
They were childhood friends who's destiny pulled them apart. He became a star and she raised his son, a son he knew nothing about. A son she hid from him to allow him to live out his dream. A beautiful lie. All Human. Bella/Edward. Usual Pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 143,559 - Reviews: 2798 - Favs: 3,312 - Follows: 1,303 - Updated: 3/20/2009 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Edward - Complete
Pictures of You by onthepursuitofhappiness reviews
AU/AH. When Bella Swan is forced to spend the day with cocky Edward Cullen for a school assignment will the way she originally saw him change?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,422 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Breaking Dawn Parody by Permanent Rose reviews
A Breaking Dawn Parody. What more can I say?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,373 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/24/2009 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Amun, Didyme
Mine by nikkiRA reviews
Drabble, LeahJacobNessie/ 'Leah collapses against the vending machine and thinks just how much she hates vampires.'
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 316 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/13/2009 - Leah, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
That's What You Get by HaleyLovesRonnieRadke.O reviews
70 years after Edward leaves. Bella never jumped and is now a human drinking nomad seeking revenge. Rated T for language. ON HOLD! D:
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 16 - Words: 9,709 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 12/30/2008 - Published: 11/1/2008 - Bella, Edward
Broken Vow by JennaLynne reviews
When Esme is killed during the battle in Eclipse, Carlisle must fight to overcome coma-like depression. When he meets Arielle, a girl running from her past, will they save each other? Book 1 of 3 in my "Solar Flares Saga". Completed 10/27/2008
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 23 - Words: 29,574 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/15/2008 - Published: 5/19/2008 - Carlisle - Complete
The Angels by ginnyinvisible reviews
When Edward left during New Moon, Bella never found Jacob and never moved on. They meet again in Roberts High, Oregon, five years later, but Bella is now part of the Angels, a dangerous gang that strikes terror into the city and may be more than it seems.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 36,322 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 11/30/2008 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Edward, Bella
Letters by RhiannonChloe reviews
Whats this? Harry Potter is unloved because his girlfriend read Twilight and is now an Edward-light. What does he do? He writes a letter and sends it to Edward Cullen via Hedwig, how will Edward re-act? What did Harry write? Read to find out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 772 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 11/3/2008
Gone With The Wind by hpfangirl1 reviews
I was crushed by many of the character's deaths in the HP series. I feel that they deserve a tribute and I decided to make one. This is a list of 10 things about each character that died. Please take the time to read and hold each hero's memory in honor.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,855 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/26/2008 - Published: 8/7/2008
My Everything by Wraithlike reviews
Sometimes you just need to run ... Leah Clearwater's thoughts on the imprints that broke her heart in as many ways a heart can be broken, and the promises that lie smashed a thousand miles away ...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,035 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Leah
James Returns by sleepyseven reviews
James was able to escape from Edward in the ballet studio and has returned for Bella. While being held captive Bella forms a unexpected relationship with James. Rating for violence, lemons, and rape. Read at your own risk. If you do please review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,689 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 386 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 11/4/2008 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Bella, James - Complete
The Third Canidate by Salted Top Hat reviews
It is the 2008 presidential election, and thousands of people are tuning in to see who will be president. Liberal Obama, Vietnam Fighter John Mccain, and...ALICE CULLEN? Is it the end of the world or another hair brained scheme? FUNNY IS GURANTEED! R&R! :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 991 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Alice
PS I Love You by DrowningxInxSapphire reviews
Bella sees Edward and Alice together. One night, someone unexpected shows up outside her window. Will 2 broken hearts learn to mend each others? JASPER/BELLA! Yaaay! R&R! Don't like Jasper and Bella? Then don't read it. Simple.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 19,191 - Reviews: 735 - Favs: 575 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 9/28/2008 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Influential Desires by lollerballer reviews
Jasper/Carlisle - Alice leaves Jasper needing more. He uses his mad skillz to make it happen. Written with Leahkatherina.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 828 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Carlisle, Jasper - Complete
Midsummer's Beautiful Nightmare by ginnyinvisible reviews
Alice is gone. Jasper sinks into agony, but when defending Bella from Victoria, he discovers something he never realized before. Is Bella changed as well? And with Edward, drama begins. T for safety. Bella x Jasper, and of course beloved Edward angst.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,739 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/14/2008 - Published: 9/10/2008 - Bella, Jasper
Satan Poem by hanstan10 reviews
Satan. Kinda scary. Really dark. I got writers block. Please read. Really good.
Bible - Rated: M - English - Horror/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 128 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/16/2008 - Complete
Makeover by SimonAndSimone reviews
Jasper gives Bella a makeover. How will Edward react? Not JxB! T in case.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 860 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 8/2/2008 - Published: 6/15/2008
Aiding and Abetting by Calendulam reviews
Bella spends an evening with Emmett and Carlisle while the rest of the family is away hunting and Edward is decidedly unamused when Alice has a vision of what they're up to.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,308 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 63 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Balance by Panda513 reviews
A dramatic, heartfelt Sam and Leah story. Is graphic in some aspects, you have been warned. one shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,419 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Leah, Sam - Complete
Good Morning Bella by ronOReds reviews
It's Bella's last Thursday as a human, and the Cullen siblings introduce Bella to a concept called "Thirsty Thursdays." Listen as Edward recounts the story of her crazy night!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,243 - Reviews: 746 - Favs: 775 - Follows: 126 - Published: 3/10/2008 - Complete
That Was My Siblings by ronOReds reviews
Edward's family decides he needs a push in the right direction when it comes to getting physical with Bella. What methods do they resort to in order to get their message across!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,373 - Reviews: 379 - Favs: 533 - Follows: 103 - Published: 2/5/2008 - Complete
Tea, a Bridge, and Bodies by Andrew-Squee reviews
Jet told Zuko he wanted an 'open relationship.' Zuko doesn't think that's going to work. Although, the man from work might help... ZukoJet, ZukoSokka, JetEverything That Moves... yaoi
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,993 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/29/2008 - Published: 1/2/2008 - Zuko, Sokka
Learning To Love Your Mistakes by Toxxic-hugs reviews
What happens when Hermione finds out that she is pregnant? But more importantly who is the babies father? Maybe sleeping with her boyfriend's brother, wasn't the greatest of ideas. Will she be able to learn to love her mistakes? HGFW.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,511 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/3/2007 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Hermione G., Fred W.
Lost by Felicity Gemfiar reviews
Snipit: Draco asks Hermione a question.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 627 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/13/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Innocent Kiss by animeangel665 reviews
Kio has alot to teach Yayoi. KioxYayoi Oneshot
Loveless - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,385 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 26 - Published: 7/12/2007 - Complete
A Night at Yayoi's by Elric-Chan reviews
Ritsuka had never known what he thought about Yayoi. They were friends, that's all. But then again... they had never spent the night together. [slight RitsukaxYayoi shonen ai]
Loveless - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,925 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/25/2007 - Complete
Expected Melancholy by SY-chwan reviews
Honey and Mori were lucky, they knew their feelings were mutual and will always be as such. But with Tamaki…Kyouya thought, things were a little different. [TamakiKyouya]
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,685 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
Kyouya deals with demons by haru's reviews
A new customer,a blonde pretty boy, flirts with Tamaki. Kyouya trys to tame his urge to kill. TamakixKyouya.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,493 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/21/2006 - Complete
The Moon by Totally Raven reviews
Oneshot, femmeslash. An awkward Hermione takes a bath with Cho Chang. Smut, sap.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,767 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 26 - Published: 8/18/2006 - Hermione G., Cho C. - Complete
After All by slytherinrules85 reviews
Hermione and Draco's lunch is interrupted...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 504 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/21/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
See You In Court by The Werewolf Mage reviews
Insanity ensues as Sirius becomes a judge.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/1/2005 - Published: 11/28/2004 - Sirius B.
A Boy Like That by KarenJames reviews
Snape has a little sister . . . and she falls in love with Sirius Black.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 40,656 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/8/2003 - Published: 9/5/2003 - Sirius B.
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Ugly reviews
She wanted everything Amane had- because, maybe, one day, the day would come when Amane had nothing. And when that day came, she would have Amane.
Strawberry Panic! - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 396 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/7/2010 - Kaname K., Amane O. - Complete
Twenty Six Times reviews
Request fic in which I do drabbles/one-shots for each chapter, with the prompt starting with the descending letters of the alphabet, and any pairing! Be creative! First come first served basis! Rating because I don't know how graphic I'm going to get
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,293 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 4/13/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009
So Happy I Could Die reviews
Things are about to change for Zoey Redbird- they'll never be the same. She doesn think she'll mind.
House of Night - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,132 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/8/2010 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Zoey R.
You Dropped Something reviews
Tamaki needs to learn a lesson- and the twins and Kyoya think it's about time he learnt it.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,937 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 10/26/2009 - Tamaki S., Kyōya O. - Complete
Waiting For Something You Weren't Sure You Wanted reviews
-He watched Hugh tiredly, but with all the attention he could muster, as his grey eyes sparkled in the moonlight seeping in the window- Slash. MxH.
Night World series - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,220 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Hugh D., Morgead B. - Complete
Just For A Little Bit reviews
Ayame likes to dance in the rain, but Yuki thinks he'll just watch.
Fruits Basket - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Ayame S., Yuki S. - Complete
Warmth Like That Lasts Forever, If You Want It To reviews
Yuki feels warm- but it s cold and rainy and winter, and even though his vision is hazy, the mop of hair he sees looks suspiciously orange.
Fruits Basket - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Published: 10/5/2009 - Yuki S., Kyo S. - Complete
Amber Eyes reviews
Jacob really runs away in BD. He goes into Southern Canada, and meets Aixa. Will Jacob ever come back home? LANGUAGE & SOME SEXUAL THEMES. OC s. Enjoy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,435 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Jacob
Insane, Addicted, Created & Change reviews
Some Bellatrix and Voldemort drabbles, the first one steming off from the scene in the book. Character death. Enjoy! R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 439 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Bellatrix L., Voldemort - Complete
Bile, Liquorice, Nightmare & Cussing reviews
Leah, Sam and some Emily drabbles. No actual timeline, but after Sam imprinted on Emily. Read and Review! Enjoy! :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 418 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Leah, Sam - Complete
Revenge, Despair, Run & Hide, Time
Four 100 word drabbles on Victoria and James. No specific timeline, its all over the place. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 408 - Published: 12/20/2008 - James, Victoria - Complete
Bloodlust reviews
Alternate ending to Eclipse. One-shot. Character deaths, beware. WARNINGS: SOME LANGUAGE AND GORE! Enjoy reading!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Victoria, Riley - Complete
Her, She, IT reviews
Leah sits, thinks, and makes a decision. Slight hints of Blackwater. Renesmee & Bella bashing. One-shot. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,242 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Leah, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
I Don't Know reviews
After BD. Edward leaves home after a bad fight with Bella. He finds himself in the midst of Detroit scene. When Takiella finds him, and shows him what life could be like, what happens when Bella comes back knocking on his door?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,276 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/20/2008 - Published: 11/12/2008 - Edward
Past Poisons reviews
Poison is going to find the man that left her mother behind. She only wants to meet him- just to sit and talk for a while. She will do anything for him to accept her- to finally be her father. R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,317 - Reviews: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/16/2008 - Published: 11/1/2008 - Edward
Things I Thought I Knew reviews
Harry and trio return to Hogwarts for their last year of schooling. There's a new DADA teacher, Miss Jason. What part does she play in Harry's cloudy past?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,794 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/16/2008 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Harry P.