Clearly Epic
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Joined 08-31-08, id: 1682065, Profile Updated: 11-29-09
Author has written 3 stories for Batman Begins/Dark Knight, and Harry Potter.

Once upon a time there was a nuclear waste plant conveniently placed next to a zoo and an orphanage. At the nuclear waste plant worked a man named George White. George White was a good guy. He had a wife, 2.4 kids, a golden retriever and lived in a two story house with a picket fence. He was also the greatest competitive rock skipper this world has ever seen. But this isn't a story about George. This is a story about Orphan Number 01089.

Orphan Number 01089 had never had it easy. For one thing, she was an orphan. But Orphan Number 01089 was not easily swayed to tears by her own misery and found refuge in the zoo next door. She loved animals. Especially the Seeamangs. (Even though they screeched something awful.) In fact, Orphan Number 01089 loved Seeamangs so much that she dreamed of one day being a Seeamang trainer. She would travel the world with her Seeamangs, amazing people from far and wide with their unbelieveable talents - they'd ride bikes, sing songs, host television shows, and even play the piano with their toes.

However, Orphan Number 01089's dream was doomed to never be, because one day, while she was at the zoo, there was an enormous earthquake/thunder storm/blizzard/fire/hurricane/tornado/volcanic eruption! The whole city was thrown into chaos as the nuclear waste plant exploded! Everybody in a fifty mile radius DIED. Except for one. Orphan Number 01089 had been smart enough to take cover in the penguin exhibit because everyone knows that penguins have m4g1k p0w3rzzz.

When the wreckage cleared and Orphan Number 01089 climbed from the ruins of the zoo, she realized something terrible had happened... Nuclear waste had landed all over her and burnt away her flesh. The doctors rushed to save her, working night and day to salvage her skin, but it was too late. In one last desperate attempt, Dr. Jesus (that's pronounced HEY-SUESS, FYI) tried the incredible - he used the remains of Orphan Number 01089's dead Seeamang friends to replace her skin!

Half Seeamang, half orphan child, Orphan Number 01089 was forced to run from the world! Now she hides, a terrible monster that can never leave the safety of her dark basement! Her only companion is her computer, where she spends her days looking at pr0nz and writing fan fiction, the likes of which has never been seen... Her username?

I haven't a clue. I'm just a regular girl from Seattle who watches too much TV. LAWLZ.


Long live Orphan Number 01089!

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Dark Innocence by heyepic reviews
His unkempt appearance was well-known by students and teachers alike at our school; his cold and reclusive behavior was even more recognizable. Joker/OC. **UPDATED 12/9/2015
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 38,156 - Reviews: 1059 - Favs: 848 - Follows: 1,011 - Updated: 12/9/2015 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Joker
Falling by Joy Cutting reviews
In the heat of battle, Hermione is flung back in time. Struggling to adjust, she meets the one person she least expected, the one person she seeks to destroy, the one man she will ultimately learn to love. AU after Half-Blood Prince. HGTR
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 71,058 - Reviews: 495 - Favs: 461 - Follows: 602 - Updated: 10/27/2015 - Published: 7/7/2007 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.
The Awkward Adventures of Meghan Whimblesby by FebruarySong reviews
What happens when a girl who is afraid of blood, thinks Legolas is a complete fruitcake, and knows next to nothing about LotR gets dumped into Middle earth with the Fellowship? Crazy spin on a MarySue fic. Now complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 112,684 - Reviews: 2340 - Favs: 1,554 - Follows: 1,201 - Updated: 7/14/2014 - Published: 7/14/2007 - [Legolas, OC] - Complete
Into Your Gravity by sockyferret reviews
When Luna makes a terrible mistake and ends up in a time she never imagined she'd been in, what will happen before she gets back? And what will she do when she realizes that Tom Riddle is in her year? Rated M for language, some violence, & sexual content.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 62,544 - Reviews: 1188 - Favs: 1,532 - Follows: 790 - Updated: 10/15/2011 - Published: 8/8/2007 - Luna L., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Reckless Abandonment by Buddy Kenneth reviews
With the Golden Trio focused on finding Voldemort's horcruxes, Morgan Caldwell is entrusted to go back in time to find something the Dark Lord hid during his 6th year at Hogwarts. She was prepared for trouble, but not a charming Tom Riddle. SEE PROFILE FOR NEWS CONCERNING UPDATES!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 153,969 - Reviews: 686 - Favs: 675 - Follows: 626 - Updated: 7/29/2011 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Tom R. Jr., OC
Hold Me While I'm Here by Nitte iz reviews
Dumbledore gives Harry an offer he can't refuse. A year at Hogwarts without constant whispering, life-threatening situations, or Voldemort. How? By taking a trip to when Marauders were still faithful and 16. !Um, make that one out of three!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 139,503 - Reviews: 4257 - Favs: 4,412 - Follows: 4,545 - Updated: 10/11/2010 - Published: 9/8/2003 - Harry P., James P.
Can't Get You Out Of My Head by J-Horror Girl reviews
Out of Arkham and out of his mind, the Joker hits the town with an intangible companion who might be dead but isn't nearly departed. He can't touch her, she can't get away from him, and so they have to make the best of it.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 100 - Words: 177,723 - Reviews: 1961 - Favs: 709 - Follows: 502 - Updated: 5/15/2010 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Joker
Sorting? Sorted! by frozenpixie reviews
With three older brothers who know their stuff and an unquenchable taste for mischief, there are two new first years who just can’t resist exploiting their classmates’ nerves about the sorting ceremony...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,385 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/5/2009 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
How Times Change by xRiddleMeThisx reviews
Hermione had always learned that the past cannot be changed... or can it? Strange events occur when she and Harry are thrown back into the 1940's, and soon she realizes that a seventeen year old Tom Riddle is the least of her problems... HGTR
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 55,590 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 8/2/2009 - Published: 8/21/2007 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.
Daughter of Time by wednesday-mc reviews
Very AU & Alt Reality. Legolas never left Middle-Earth, but stayed behind to look after Aragorn's children--most specifically the first-born daughter of each generation. This generation's daughter was never prepared to believe in Elves, much less Legolas.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 45 - Words: 184,054 - Reviews: 1385 - Favs: 805 - Follows: 544 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Legolas
Tempora Mutantur by selenoliber reviews
An age old battle. A transcendence of time. A duel of intellect, power, and lust. Who will win this game of chance? Or better yet, who can leave this intrincate dance of danger unscathed? TRHG. Winner at Enchanted Grangers.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 45,168 - Reviews: 783 - Favs: 574 - Follows: 659 - Updated: 6/20/2007 - Published: 7/16/2006 - Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.
Many Paths, One Fate by amwong88 reviews
She went back in hopes of changing the future. But how does one know if the steps you take are not ones you've already taken before? Tom Riddle Hermione. TRHG.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 29,502 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 1/7/2007 - Published: 10/1/2005 - Tom R. Jr., Hermione G.
Gravity Pulls You Down by Chocobo Goddess reviews
A father's death is the catalyst for two bitter enemies to work together while the world closes in on every side. Did either of them honestly think they'd never see the other again? Not your typical LisaJackson story. I promise.
Red Eye - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 45,494 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 10/5/2006 - Published: 1/29/2006 - Lisa R., Jack R.
Birds of a Feather by solitairebbw218 reviews
In order to protect an innocent girl in her charge, a young woman must go head to head in a battle of wits with one of the most infamous pirates in the Caribbean. Which of the two will surrender first........the Sparrow or the Linnet? Please R & R!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 50,460 - Reviews: 298 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 10/5/2006 - Published: 9/16/2005
Therapy by Erestor reviews
“I wish you and I had met in our natural environment,” Legolas said, “because I would have killed you very quickly and cheerfully in the Wild.”'
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,968 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/1/2006 - Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
Out of Shadow by Sophiax reviews
In the postapocalyptic world of the 22nd Century, Voldemort rules all. The Resistance sends the Weasley family’s last descendant back in time to the year 1943 to kill the boy Lord Voldemort once was: Tom Riddle. TROC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 77,254 - Reviews: 386 - Favs: 374 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 2/6/2006 - Published: 12/17/2005 - Tom R. Jr. - Complete
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2751 - Favs: 6,826 - Follows: 508 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
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The Twelve Chapters of Mary Sue reviews
In the spirit of the holidays, a little song about our favorite OOC-inducing OC. To be sung loudly to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 440 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/18/2009 - Complete
Smolder reviews
Harley, Harley, Harley, you just don't know when to qui-t, do ya? You, uh, you're just like Alice, tum-bling down the rabbit hole. But, see, the thing is, Doc...Arkham's no wonderland." An old story with a new twist. Joker/Harley
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 837 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Joker
To Be Devoured reviews
Two sadists walk into an asylum: one's in a straitjacket, the other in a lab coat. But wait, here's the REAL kicker... Joker/Harley one shot
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 745 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/6/2009 - Joker - Complete