Author has written 26 stories for Zoey 101, iCarly, Harry Potter, and Glee.
Name : Shannon
Queer As Folk:
My friends and I...
Miranda and I walking
Playing a game we invented
Walking in the hall when my friend fell
Kelsey: "Let's sex, NOW!"
Natalie: "I'm a panda!"
Kelsey: "She's too alive to be dead..."
Kelsey: "He's like one of those Asain people she adopted from, like, Asia..."
Mom: "I'm afraid of pumpkins"
Talking about a play I auditioned for
Aaron: "As long as I am more of a slut than Dani."
Dani: "If someone fried me and was picking at me, I'd sue!"
Emily: "Modest is the hottest!"
Me: "I'd be like rawr and shit."
Natalie: "Ew. Penis. I'm a lesbian."
Natalie: "I will not support your penis baby!"
Me: "She's getting her nipple tattooed!"
Natalie and Me: "... in old English. Otherwise, you're just a hoe!"
Natalie: "If someone came up to me rumbling I would be like, 'All right t-rex'"
Natalie: "Drugs backwards is sgurd!"
Me: "I could drink a fish!"
Me: "Not cool, refridgerator!"
After we cleaned our dorm and talking about why we didn't make a fort...
Natalie: "You stupid cunt, bastard, bitch!"
Natalie: "Damn them Stephiane Meyers, J. K. Rowlings, and bible writers!"
Ian: "I'm your man steak."
Telling me about the movie "The Patriot"
Talking about my dream
Natalie: "I look like a ram that got into a fight and lost one!"
Natalie: "It is midnight o-one!"
Me: "... If you want a dinosaur. (30 second pause) Or a pony!"
Natalie and I: "LMAO!"
Poking fun at Hannah Montana
Vicky: "Half of four is two and a half... That sounded dumb..."
Natalie: "Horses are funny."
Natalie and I: (singing) "Oh pepperoni! How much I love ya!"
Me: "Whip out my penis and (singing) pee on your face"
Talking about how many Disney parents are dead or missing
Amanda: "Everyones getting married and having kids... I just started college! Give me a few days!"
Me: "That was slightly erotic... and disturbing..."
Talking about eating lamb...
Courtney: "Aren't Bonnie and Clyde famous explorers?"
Mom: "I thought I was shot! But, it's just bubble wrap..."
Me: "I had to stop reading. It was getting to an intense part and I didn't think I was ready."
Me: "Do I have to pay for it?"
Kate: "They look like they are twelve! Why can't I work here?!"
Kate: "I figure everyones gonna die, you might as well eat them."
Talking about a dog cake they made on Cake Boss
Kate: "Didn't you make-out with a thirty year old?"
Joe: "You better be a guy! ... I mean... You better be a girl!"
Kelly: "You are, like, popping my laundry cherry!"
Kiara: "Water. It's wet."
Tootsie: "I know you're the slut, but what's your name?!"
Random girl in my hall: "No more dicking the doors!"
Improv Game: "All. My. Hunger. Was. Caused. By. Georgia."
Kiara: "It's Sistine Chapel? When did they change it?"
Kiara: "And then we can spoon."
Kiara: "This teacher needs to learn how to speak English before she teaches in England... We're not in England! We're in America!"
Damon: "You can see really far out windows..."
Improv Class: (singing to the tune of Pinky and the Brain) "Jesus and the Pope. Jesus and the Pope. One is a Jesus, the others a Pope."
Tim: "Well, Bill Cosbys old, so, he's probably gonna die soon."
Seng: "... like jumping off cliffs and getting pregnant..."
Mom: "If you do this your eyes jiggle!"
Me: (whispers) "It's gonna be epic" (backs away slowly)
Me: "I feel like I just birthed a 19 year old kid!"
Kiara: "I feel like I just molested you..."
Me: "Everything looks cooler with a cape!"
Me: "This balloon is not a good vollyball."
Me: "Vowels are the whores of letters!"
Kiara: "Oh yea, deaf people can text! I thought because you couldn't send texts in sign language... Yeah..."
Kiara: "I would go to Africa, get impregnated, and give it to you. Just so you will have a legit African baby!"
Kelly: "You have the smallest ear holes..."
Kelsey: "Don't look at my underwire!"
Kelly: "It tastes good because it's healthy!"
Kiara: "We were walking up this hill-"
Lance: (singing) "The moonlight shines on her... forehead?"
Kelly: "You would make a good phone sex operator."
Me: "A chair raped my face!"
Amanda M: "You're a terrible person!"
Micheal: "For your safety you must die."
Eric: "Actually you look like kind of a slut."
Tootsie: "Free Tibet? Is Tibet under capture?"
Me: "I would assume this deaf person could read..."
Colin: "It's not rape if you're willing."
Dani: "I've never kissed a boy before..."
Me: "Can I get in your pants again?"
Kat: "He talks pretty... and shirtless!"
Me: "You tell her batman!"
Bill: "I feel like you're my drug dealer."
Chelsey: "I'm fully aware you can see through my shirt, but if you don't like, then don't look."
Me: "It's not rape if you can't say no!"
Me: "It's so good and large."
Amanda: "I poopin' love otters."
Amanda: "You look like shit."
Kiara: "Hey, Shannon..."
Kiara: "I just ask you to know the answer to everything and you're just like 'mehhh'"
Kiara: "Shannon, your life depends upon this."
Kiara: "That chair attacked me!"
Kiara: "Why didn't I put my bra on before I tried to be Wonder Woman?"
Me: "I'm trying to think of more words that end in O..."
Kiara: "Oh my God, get me outta this room with this crazy person under my bed. Help her lord!"
Me: "Would you rather steal from a blind man or a girl scout?"
Mom: "Write down: 'towels pick out of the garbage.'"
Kat: "It's so big I don't know what to do with it."
Kat: "I'm glad I'm walking with you. I'd say: 'Take the tiny, cute, pretty one.' And while they're raping you I'll run away!"
Me: "It takes so much effort. First I have to take off my pants and then I have to take out my eyes."
Wyatt: "And on your right there's a dumbass."
Wyatt: "I may be a girl, but I'm also a boy..."
Wyatt: "We look like two retards who don't know what stairs are."
Wyatt: "I'm sorry. She's a little cookie right now."
Guy: "Booze and naked boys, what else do you need?"
Guy: "Why wasn't the pretty pussy in the hotel list?"
Kat: "It's like if a cheetah fucked a thirteen year old girl."
Kat: "Oh, it's called 'Not Enough Rope.' I thought it was 'Not Enough Rape.'"
Kat: "So apparently rape and suicide are HILARIOUS!"
Me: "I have a better idea. It involves that plan and the plan from last night. It will get us Cheez-its, Diet Coke, and new back bones. All we will need is to kill someone, steal their food and legs..."
Me: "Power walking for short people is running!"
Me: (singing) "I just had sex!"
Me: "No, if he was my twin then it would be incest, ew. But, if he was my clone it would just be masterbation."
Me: "Hammers solve everything!"
Doug: "You're buttering a bed..."
Chris: (angrily) "THAT MOVIE WAS BEAUTIFUL!"
Chris: "I'd take hard over tight anyday."
Chris: "There was a vagina in your pants... I need a cookie."
Chris: "You don't have to face down to pray to Satan."
Kelsey: "You don't like your penis being poked?"
Me: "Sexual tension squid..."
Will: "I feel like a terrorist."
Billy: "Incest is WINcest"
Chris: "If you sharpened your nipples you could stab her in the neck."
Kyle: "Consent is sexy."
Billy: "Have you ever seen a fetus?"
Jordan: "That's what people do in New York. They lick you."
Chris: "I want that inside of me."
Lance: "I thought we were about to dance battle."
Aaron: (to me) "She's more of a person than you."
Kevin: "Theatre's a contact sport."
Wineman: "I'm a nun!"
Lance: "It's science. Thunder goes BOOM. Lightning goes (weird hand movement)."
Lance: "Now remember what I taught you. What does thunder do?"
Lance: "Solve that crime."
Aaron: "Enjoy your wife. I know I did."
Me: "We're golf clubbing!"
Me: "I could be your pocket Shannon!"
Me: "I wouldn't need a job because I can break dance."
Chris and I: "I can't math/English."
Molly: "You're taller than me, we can breed!"
Me: "Your computer's making me hot."
Kyle: "Santa is so real. I felt his glove."
Kyle: "It's so sad how Andy died in that car accident. And the toys visit him in the hospital..."
Chris: "I wish you had a unibrow right now."
Me: "What is pizza?"
Chris: "Take me Prince Phillip!"
Chris: "I woke up and Aaron wasn't under me and I was scared."
After an ambulance passes
Talking about my slurpee
Mom: "Are there rattles in there?"
Mom: "... and mall cops, they're not real cops."
Mom: "Why do you laugh all the time?"
Courtney: "Don't worry about money, just make sure you have enough to bail yourself out of jail."
Me: "You can't do that! That's, like, a sin against Santa!"
Me: "Finding jeans that actually fit and on sale. It's like the heavens open up and smile. A chorus of angels sing. And Jesus tips his cowboy hat and smiles."
Samm: "I want to put Nutella all over my arms and just lick it off."
Richard: "Shotgun. Window. Chinese delivery. Masterbation."
Jane: "Prepositions are important."
Jane: "But, you killed the king, so screw you!"
Me: "I feel like you shouldn't have cocks on the table..."
Brittany: "I just finger everything."
Andy: "I'm gonna bake you a pie!"
Simon: "I went... Yeah, whatever."
Gregg: "How do you define incest? It's another of these things like swimming."
Gregg: "But, I'm a bastard and I hate everyone."
Gregg: "Shall we go to the butchers and buy a pound of beef?"
Gregg: "What is she doing?!"
Gregg: "Oh, that's alright Margret. Back to work."
Gregg: "I thought they were brilliant, but then my thinking moved on."
Laura and Me: "TEAM LAERTES!
???: "The awkward moment when the lights flicker in the room above the prison..."
Cassidy: "You're God and you just ripped this babies head off?!"
Tour Guide: "I saw the fat suits and I was in heaven."
Me: "I just made myself all wet" *pause* "That sounded bad..."
Morgan: "I'm not going near anyone's salad!"
Me: "Wyatt, you should get one of those."
Adam: "You're a bad gay!"
???: "He's 17 years old and he won't die!"
Lance: "Guys are magicians with their penis."
Me: "Shh. Come closer. Put your lips to my finger."
Lucas: "Gay, straight, bi, Korean..."
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