KristineMcCarty
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Joined 09-04-08, id: 1685197, Profile Updated: 11-25-09
Author has written 4 stories for RENT, and Twilight.

I'm just your completely slightly-less-than-average, twenty-something, closet nerd.

I spend the vast majority of my days pretending to be a single mom to a rambunctious boy child who is pretty convinced his sole purpose in life is to keep me on my unsuspecting toes (he does a pretty good job at it) whilst my husband is away doing his part for our country in the form of the U.S. Air Force.

My caffeine induced insomniac nights are spent playing a struggling writer, whose aspiring to be the next big thing. Yes, I have fool hearted intentions of abandoning my self-imposed bohemian persona and being a complete and utter sell out if that chance ever comes. Hate now, but I got big dreams of seeing my name on the New York Times Best Seller's list. All of my stories start out in my trusty commandeered notebook written in my completely hardcore pink gel pen. Because pink totally screams: "I'm a serious author! Read my great works!" That's a little fun fact for you all to take to the bank. Thank me later.

All of my twisted ideas for plot lines (and trust me, I have quite a few swimming around in this pretty little head of mine) come from a past life. I'm convinced of this. Actually, no I'm not. I just have a vivid imagination that borders on the "fucked up" side of things. My parents played a lot of Sesame Street for me as a small child.

I claim outwardly that I use fanfiction as a creative writing exercising tool while I'm working on my real manuscript, but in all reality, it helps me channel my inner fan girl and keeps her squeeing like a Teenybopper at an NSync concert.

I can tend to be an insanely lazy writer when it comes to writing FF at times, and my stories are often products of that. I apologize in advance. I usually keep a steady 3-4 stories going at any given time, and normally only one of those are actual FF. The rest are all my own original stories - sometimes it's hard to jump back and forth into character. Also, it's not the easiest thing in the world to jam all day long to DJ Lance Rock while simultaneously coming up with dialogue. No, seriously here people, try listening to Yo Gabba Gabba for a good portion of the day and see if you don't agree with me that it's HANDS down the leading cause of Writer's Block (proper noun). Someone needs to put a stop to that show.

I'm chock full of sarcasm, obscene gestures, foul language, vulgarities, snark, sass, optimism, superlatives, and one-liners. I prefer (fountain) Diet Coke over Diet Pepsi, and I'll take Diet Mt. Dew over life, pretty much. I've been told on more than one occasion that I have the personality of a horny frat boy on a three day beer binge. I find that pretty damned endearing, personally. Deep down, I truly believe I'm a rockstar of epic proportions and I'm fairly convinced that my perfect scores on Guitar Hero do nothing but prove that point.

And there you have it. Everything you could possibly want to know about me in 530 words or less.


CH-CH-CHECK IT OUT NOW:
Love blogs? A total fan of random? Not enough useless in your life? I'm here to remedy this!
http://southernfriedkristine.blogspot.com/
All useless, all me. Where I rant and rave about the finer aspects of fandom, fanfics, writing, and whatever other useless topic pops into my head.


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Creature of Habit by EZRocksAngel reviews
Bella begins working for the elusive and distant Edward Cullen who she discovers is hiding behind an elaborate charade to maintain his secret lifestyle. Bella is determined to find out the mysteries of Edward Cullen but with what results? AU, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 33 - Words: 189,751 - Reviews: 14266 - Favs: 11,356 - Follows: 5,287 - Updated: 5/16/2013 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
SEALs by CarribbeanLady reviews
AH. Lt Edward Masen and his Navy SEALs are on a mission to stop terrorist groups in a small African country. Bella Swan the journalist has been dumped on them to protect while she documents the lives of people in the war zone. M for language and violence.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 54,459 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 584 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 10/1/2012 - Published: 8/28/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Parabella by kay-masen reviews
Bella is Aro's right hand in Volterra. Her power is legendary. She is unshakable. Then one day an old friend pays Aro a visit, and brings his vegetarian family with him. Rated M for adult themes/lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 39,687 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Bella, Edward
Hiding in Plain Sight by limona reviews
Bella is a witness in peril. Emmett Cullen is the deputy assigned to protect her. When the witness protection program isn't safe, Emmett asks Bella to pose as his brother Edward's fiancée until the trial. AU, AH, ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 141,120 - Reviews: 10480 - Favs: 11,443 - Follows: 12,177 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Love For Lust by RayneKaplan reviews
Bella and Jacob are married, but something is going on in Jacob's life that Bella doesn't know. How does she react with her best friend by her side? All human, sorry.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 36,435 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 7/24/2011 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Bella, Jacob
Bella Hale by JulesSC reviews
Six year old Isabella Swan was orphaned after a car crash took her parents away, and Edward and the Cullens find her. Alice decides to keep her, and Edward tries to protect her. Family drama and hilarity ensues as Bella grows up and ExB happens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 386,995 - Reviews: 13249 - Favs: 7,901 - Follows: 5,876 - Updated: 7/8/2011 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Edward, Bella
Falling Beyond Redemption by Aleeab4u reviews
A plan to keep Edward & Bella apart ends in unthinkable violence leaving Bella & Charlie battling for their lives and Edward for his soul. When the fallout threatens to destroy not only them but the Pack as well, an unlikely Shaman may be their only hope.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 56 - Words: 349,022 - Reviews: 4486 - Favs: 1,559 - Follows: 814 - Updated: 4/21/2011 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Eternal Dawn by Lizbit reviews
For so long, Edward has maintained control of the monster within him. When Bella finally entices Edward to bed the control is lost. Can Edward forgive himself for his weakness and mistake? Or will Bella turn to Jacob who lurks in the shadows? *BD ALT* E&B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 52 - Words: 137,443 - Reviews: 1479 - Favs: 568 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 4/4/2011 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Son of a Preacher Man by LaViePastiche reviews
The wild son of a famous televangelist, Jasper likes to love ‘em and leave ‘em. Will he meet his match in Bella, who’s in love with his sister’s boyfriend Edward? And what happens when Edward finally notices her? AH, B/E
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 189,838 - Reviews: 8129 - Favs: 4,517 - Follows: 2,935 - Updated: 3/8/2010 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Complete
Shadowboxer by nobloodnofoul reviews
Edward is an underground fighter using the ring as an outlet for his pent-up rage. Bella is a college dropout running from her complicated past. Their paths collide when Edward is beaten and left for dead. Rated M for LEMONS. CANON PAIRINGS. AH. OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 171,703 - Reviews: 6275 - Favs: 8,367 - Follows: 3,940 - Updated: 1/21/2010 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dangerous Affections by wishimight reviews
Edward was taken against his will by the Volturi and forced into the life of an assassin. Bella was orphaned 5 years ago. Their paths cross & sparks fly, but when she becomes his latest target, he must risk it at all to keep everyone alive. ALL HUMAN ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 3967 - Favs: 1,986 - Follows: 2,175 - Updated: 8/13/2009 - Published: 9/9/2008 - Edward, Bella
China Doll by Madame Meg reviews
All Bella ever wanted was love from her father, King Charlie. But when he starts to love her in the wrong way, she escapes, disguised. A vampire prince called Edward saves her from starvation, but can he save her from her father that pursues her? AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 87,553 - Reviews: 2310 - Favs: 1,278 - Follows: 1,448 - Updated: 6/19/2009 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Bella, Edward
Bleeding Love by zgirl21 reviews
Edward, Bella, and Jacob are childhood friends who are now college roommates. Edward, who only seems to care about one-night stands and his band, and Bella, studious and responsible, are always fighting...and Jacob? All-Human. E/B. Not for Jacob lovers.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 104,145 - Reviews: 1327 - Favs: 1,121 - Follows: 1,274 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Monster Within by RayneKaplan reviews
This takes place prior to Twilight, as Edward is hunting on degenerate humans. Just trying to fill in some gaps SM left wide open about his change and life with Carlisle. All credit goes to SM, I own nothing.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,553 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/30/2009 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Edward, Carlisle
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

There's Hope in the Darkness reviews
A heartbroken Bella flings herself into a relationship with Jacob after Edward leaves. Three years later, she's living a dangerously precarious life. Her daily ambition simply to avoid being the target of Jacob's fury. Full Summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,138 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Cynic Diaries reviews
I just wanted out of this decaying town, and really? I didn't think that was too much to ask." RATED M FOR GENERAL SHENANIGANS, INCLUDING FUTURE LEMONS. AU/AH/OOC. CANON COUPLES. EVENTUALLY.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,054 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/10/2009 - Edward, Bella
Messing with Sasquatch reviews
Revised! Oneshot: "But no, Edward said not to. He said they wanted to be left alone. But he HAD to know."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,083 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/21/2009 - Emmett, Jasper - Complete
Cold reviews
Oneshot. Sometimes the weather outside isn’t the culprit for the cold you feel on the inside. Roger reflects on the temperature a few days after Mimi was found in the park. A/N: Revised Formatting. :
RENT - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,189 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Mimi M., Roger D. - Complete