NicestSpawnOfSatanYouNeverMet
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Joined 09-05-08, id: 1686262, Profile Updated: 06-29-11
Author has written 6 stories for Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Marching Band, Twilight, Harry Potter, and Shakespeare.

I'm a girl who enjoys reading and writing fanfiction. Here's a little bit about me:

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Things you should know about me:

Don't take anything I say seriously. I have a twisted mind.

I am the proud owner of a hot pink sombrero (be jealous, be very jealous...)

I am a huge Harry Potter fan!

I have an amazing plan for world domination. I SHALL SOON RULE YOU!

I'm a band-geek

I wasn't a "mistake", I was a "surprise" (as artfully dictated by my parents)

I am random

I have eaten pickles and ice cream... together... and it was good... no, I'm not pregnant...

I have OCHPD! And I'm proud of it! In case you didn't know, OCHPD means Obsessive Compulsive Harry Potter Disorder

Team Edward!

I have an undying urge to go to London. I don't know why...

I'm a die-hard liberal to the point of almost communist!

Hobbies-

Reading, writing, going on the computer, playing the flute, being weird, being evil, being obnoxious, breaking into staffrooms, laughing, eating chocolate, watching movies, freaking out, singing loudly and badly, listening to my ipod, creeping people out, having people question my sanity daily, screaming, putting on fake accents in public, putting TP on everything, hanging undergarments from chandaleers at 3 in the morning and then watching my family react, making weird voices, annoying my band directer, listening to music, throwing food, scaring people with my double-jointed elbow, making my eyes face different directions, making bracelets, drawing on the table cloth at Maccaroni Grill, plagorizing Zoolander quotes for school essays, embarrasing my family in public, pouring whipped cream directly into my mouth, jumping, making obnoxious voices, drinking Ovaltine, making ramen noodles and eating them, reading and writing humorous lemons that don't take themselves seriously, planning world domination, etc.

An Awesome Plan for World Domination-

1. Win the lottery

2. Take over the company Victoria's Secrets

3. Move the company's head quarters to Saudi Arabia.

4. Due to Saudi Arabia's very conservative dressing of women, the skimpy clothing of Victoria's Secrets will cause the country to become culturally weak. When they are culturally weak, they will probably also have a weak government. Use this point to take over Saudi Arabia.

5. Use this same technique to take over the rest of the Middle East.

6. Since the Middle East has tons of oil, use this to take over the rest of the countries of the world. If any resist, combine the armies of all of your conquered countries to take over the rebel countries by force. Congratulations, you rule the world!

Favorite TV Shows-

The Office (that is the best show ever. People tell me I'm just like Dwight. Dwight is awesome)

The Young Ones

The Colbert Report

H.R. Pufnstuf (if you haven't heard of this, you're probably normal. It is this show from the 70s that is completely demented. It was made by these hippies who were definitely on something...)

Wipeout

Yo Gabba Gabba

The Joy of Painting

That 70s Show

Mad TV

SNL

All those countdowns on VH1

30 Rock

Parks and Recreation

Community

The Inbetweeners

Favorite Books-

HARRY POTTER!! (have I made myself clear?)

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrel (wicked long book, but it is a good read. In my opinion it is one of the finest works of literature, but is only for the dedicated reader)

Twilight Saga

The Book Thief

Eragon Series

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

To Kill a Mockingbird

Animal Farm

1984

Casi se Muere (we read it in Spanish class and totally made fun of it, so it was hillarious)

The Chocolate War (I read it for school and I only like it because it is a banned book)

I am the Messenger

Bossypants

I Am America and so can you

Favorite Movies-

Moulin Rouge (favorite movie of all time!)

Harry Potter (I like GoF best)

Dumb and Dumber

Ace Venture Pet Detective

National Treasure

Pirates of the Caribbean

The Corpse Bride

Nightmare Before Christmas

Nacho Libre

E.T.

The Princess Bride

Thomas and the Magic Railroad (has many underlying themes of drug use and drug innuendos if you look for them... which I do...)

Edward Scissorhands

Spider-Man

Everything is Illuminated

Baby Geniuses

and many, many, many more...

Favorite Bands-

Peter Frampton (an old dude still knows how to work it)

Gred and Forge (a wizard wrock band with hilarious lyrics. If you've never heard of it, you have no sense of humor)

Led Zeppelin

Janis Joplin

The Beatles

The Kinks

Billy Joel

Panic at the Disco

Three Days Grace

Gunther (he is a-ma-zing!! so funny! I am desitine to be a sunshine girl!!)

Ida Maria (she's soooooooooo cool!)

Green Day

The Lonely Island (I'm on a boat!)

The Killers

Kings of Leon

Favorite Websites-

If you're looking for a good website, try out one of these

www.mugglenet.com(a great Harry Potter fan site, my personal favorite)

www.lyricsmode.com (the best place to get song lyrics)

www.freerice.com (it's good to help the world...)

www.potterpuppetpals.com

www.addictinggames.com

www.imdb.com (info on anything movie or TV relate you can think of)

www.harrypotterholiday.com (sign the petition to help get an international Harry Potter Holiday)

www.iheartcheese.com

www.fanfiction.net (you should try going there some time)

Favorite Ships-

Harry Potter: Harry/Tonks, Ron/Hermione, Neville/Luna, Snape/Me, Voldy/Me, Harry/Me, Ron/Me, Draco/Me, Fred/Me/George(hell yeah!), Voldy/Bellatrix, Draco/Ginny, Background Wizard #3/Background Witch #17

Percy Jackson and the Olympions: Luke/Annabeth, Luke/Me, Percy/Clarrise, Percy/Bianca, Grover/Me, Nico/Me, Hades/Me, Ethan/Me, Percy/Thalia, Ethan/Thalia, Chiron/Oracle

Twilight: Riley/Me, Emmett/Bella, Edward/Bella, Carlisle/Me, Emmett/Me, Edward/Me, Jasper/Me, Riley/Bree

Star Wars: Vader/Me, Han/Me, Yoda/Me

The Office: Dwight/Angela, Dwight/Me, Jim/Pam, Jim/Me, Michael/Holly, Jim/Jello, Kevin/Angela, Kevin/Food

That 70's Show: Fezz/Me, Kelso/Fezzz, Hyde/Fezz, Eric/Fezzz, Donna/Fezz, Jackie/Fezzz, Kitty/Fezz

Favorite Quotes-

"More cowbell!" -That SNL skit

"If you're happy and you know it crap you hands!" -Me

"Honestly, do you really think that I'm up to something?" -Me (waiting for prank to be discovered)

"You know, the first time I realized I liked you was when you came up to me and said, 'I know this may sound weid, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat is expired.'" -Pam to Jim from The Office

"And when I think that you couldn't get any stupider... you go and totally redeem yourself!" -Harry to Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd goes and trades their truck for a little motor bike.

"I'm not obsessed with Harry Potter, I'm possessed by Harry Potter." -Me when my parents were questioning my sanity in relation to HP

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada and stuff." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series.

"It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver." -someone genius

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up." -someone

"Your laughing now because your older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?" -someone

"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box." -someone

"When your in jail a friend will bail you out, but a best friend will be sitting right next to you saying "damn that was fun!" -someone

"People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people." -someone

"When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing." -someone a lot like me

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." -someone

"Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that." -someone

"When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!" -someone

"Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers." -someone

"Life is empty and so is the fridge." -someone

"Good friends will pick you up when your down, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh." -someone

"We have to go to Candy Mountain, Charlie!" -Those creepy unicorn dudes from Charlie the Unicorn on Youtube.

"Eyes are the groin of the head." -Dwight from The Office

"When life gives you lemons, write a fanfiction!" -many people

"We put the R in REBELLION!" -the motto of the Rs

"That's what she said!" -one of my favorite phrases that I say several times a day (when texting it can be abreviated with TWSS)

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... easy. Both, I want people to be afraid of how much they love me," Michael Scott on The Office

Favorite People-

Barak Obama, Hillary Clinton, Jane Goodall, J.K. Rowling, Rick Riordan, Stephanie Meyer, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Tom Felton, Alan Rickman, Jim Carrey, Steve Carrel, Steven Colbert, Jesus, Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp, Tim Burton, Steven Spielburg, John Williams, Danny Elfman, Peter Frampton, Neil Cicierega, Emmy Cicierega, Lucus Cruikshank, Edgar Allan Poe, Anne Frank, Paul Newman, Helen Bohoman Carter, Robert Pattinson, James Gallway, Joe Biden, Booky, Logan Lerman, Bo Burnham, Billie Joe Armstrong, The Most Interesting Man in the World

Not Favorite People-

Miley Cirus, Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Zack Effron, Vannessa Hughs, Brittney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears, Paris Hilton, Amy Winehouse, Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Sara Palin, Rush Limbagh

R.I.P.-

(HP) Lily Potter, James Potter, Sirius Black, Cedric Diggory, Albus Dumbledore, Hedwig, Dobby, Mad-Eye Moody, Fred Weasley, Severus Snape, Nymphadora Tonks Lupin, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, (PJO) Bianca diAngelo, Zoe Nightshade, Beckendorf, Silena, Luke, Ethan Nakamura (Twilight) James, Victoria, Bree, not Riley because he didn't really die, Bella in my dreams... muahahaha!

Bonus Material for Wizards, Demigods, Clifford the Big Red Hellhound:

Songs Referenced-

California Dreaming: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wI6uAOHzvo

We Are the Champions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sogKUx_q7ig

The meaning of the word Zorra in Spanish is:

zorra: slut, bitch


Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)


Favorite The Office Quotes-

(these quotes were gotten off of www.imdb.com)

Jim set a fence of pencils up between Dwight and his desk
Dwight Schrute: Your pencils are creating a health hazard. I could fall and pierce an organ.

Pam Beesley: I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might...
pauses
Pam Beesley: Its just, I don't think it's many girls' dream to be a receptionist.

Dwight Schrute: Dammit, he put my stapler in jello again!
Points to Michael
Dwight Schrute: You can be a witness to this.
Jim Halpert: eating jello How do you know it was me?

Dwight Schrute: Yes, I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma in the seventh grade. I played the part of Mutey, the mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that... I was good.

Michael Scott: Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. "Little Kid Lover". That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

Pam Beesley: There's nothing new.
Michael Scott: That's not what you said earlier.
Pam Beesley: Oh, do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before?

Jim Halpert: Last night on "Trading Spouses," there's... did you see it?
Pam Beesley: No, I have a life.
Jim Halpert: Interesting, what's that like?
Pam Beesley: You should try it some time.
Jim Halpert: Wow. But then who would watch my TV?

Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesley: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.

Michael Scott: trying to motivate an employee for the basketball game You'll be like the dwarf that follows the wizard to the end of the earth in... uh... Lord of the Rings!
Dwight Schrute: Gimli.
Michael Scott: ...NERD. THAT's why you're not on the team.

Dwight Schrute: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me... for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

Michael attempts to assemble a basketball team and Oscar, of Mexican descent, approaches
Oscar: I can play, if you need any help.
Michael Scott: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we ever decide to box.

Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.

Ryan's Voicemail: Seven new messages. First new message:
Michael Scott: Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein.
Ryan's Voicemail: Next message:
Michael Scott: Hey, Ryan, this is your girlfriend and I'm mad.

Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael Scott: You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

Dwight Schrute: I come from a long line of fighters, my maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. He killed twenty men and then spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp... My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life... different kind of fight.

Michael Scott: choosing team names for the company's beach day Dwight, name your team.
Dwight Schrute: We will be called GRYFFINDOR!
Jim Halpert: Really? Not Slytherin?
Dwight Schrute: Slytherin are the bad guys, Jim.
Jim Halpert: I know. Okay, we will be Voldemort.
Dwight Schrute: He-who-must-not-be-named? I wouldn't do that.
Jim Halpert: with his team, while Dwight screams no Voldemort. Voldemort. Voldemort. Voldemort. Voldemort.

Jim Halpert: Sometimes I send Dwight faxes from himself in the future.
Dwight Schrute: reading fax Dear Dwight, At 8:00 someone will poison the coffee. Do not drink the coffee! More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight
Dwight Schrute: sees Stanley about to drink the coffee and sprints across the office, knocking the cup out of Stanley's hand
Dwight Schrute: NO!
after knocking the cup to the floor
Dwight Schrute: You'll thank me later.

Dwight Schrute: Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years... which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique; it's like slapping someone with silence.
Dwight Schrute: I was shunned from the age of 4 until my 6th birthday, for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.

Jim Halpert: imitating Dwight Bears eat beets. Bears... Beets... Battlestar Galactica.


I didn't write this, but I got it off of www.mugglenet.com:

123 Ways to Annoy, Harass, Confuse or Generally Scare Lord Voldemort's Sure-fire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Crucio'd round the block and back again. Started by Amanda Lack (stars_planets_clocks), and added to by countless others

1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'

2. Laugh at him.

3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'

4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.

5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.

6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.

7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.

8. Dance the Funky Chicken.

9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.

10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.

11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.

12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.

13. Call him 'The-Man-Who-Let-the-Boy-Live.'

14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'

15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.

16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.

17. Be cheerful.

18. When he tries to impress you with his powers, say 'Awwwww, lookit. Voldie's got a twiggle!'

19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.

20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'

21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'

22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What's that - a washing detergent?'

23. Keep a 'good-behaviour chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.

24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.

25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there...

26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?

27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.

28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'

29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.

30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.

31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drumroll.

32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, O Dark One' whenever he starts to talk of what caused him to become who he is.

33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'

34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.

35. Mock his choice of Quirrell as a 'host.'

36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways.'

37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.

38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions, 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you thought you were helping!

39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.

40. Buy him a stress ball.

41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.

42. Call him Tommy-boy.

43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.

44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.

45. Say he 'looked better under the turban.'

46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.

47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.

48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.

49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.

50. 'Imperio' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful.'

51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry.'

52. Paint all the Death Eater masks with bright colours and glitter.

53. Throw him a 'Carebears'-themed birthday party.

54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.

55. Politely exclaim now and again that you don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles.

56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment.'

57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery, play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.

58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.

59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.

60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'

61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.

62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...

63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.

64. Tell him you've met plently of people more evil than he.

65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.

66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.

67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.

68. Tell him Lucius did it.

69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.

70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.

71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.

72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause.'

73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling.'

74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.

75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'

76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'

77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'

80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric aquaintance.

82. Cuddle him at random moments.

83. Sign him up for Little-League.

84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie.'

87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

91. Write sonnets for him.

92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie.'

95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildy depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'

96. Mock his baldness.

97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

98. Get him drunk.

99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah.'

100. Let him catch you trying on Death Eater robes.

101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

102. As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like 'Not gonna work, or 'stupid.'

103. Call him 'Champ' or 'Tiger.' Refer to yourself as 'Coach.'

104. Three words: Potter Puppet Pals.

105. Ask him where he gets his garlic-scented soap.

106. Ask him to dye Easter eggs with you.

107. ..at Christmas.

108. Make him dance in the rain with you.

109. Insist that this is to cleanse his soul.

110. "Accidentally" schedule him a him a haircut.

111. ..even though he's bald.

112. Be offended by everything he says.

113. When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.

114. Invite him to go streaking.

115. Kill Harry.

116. On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.

117. ..make sure the decorations are pink and frilly.

118. Tell him that getting the same plastic surgeon as Michael Jackson was definitely a bad idea.

119. Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color.

120. Whenever you look at him cover your eyes with your hands and scream "IT BURNS!!"

121. Bake him scar shaped cookies, but insist it wasn't purposeful.

122. Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.

123. Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.


16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things


The Best Harry Potter Personality Quiz

The way to do this quiz is you have to choose one or more answers per question that fits your personality best. Remember which letter it was and then at the end, add up how many of each letter you had. Whichever letter you had the most of means that you’re a certain character, which you’ll be able to find out at the end. If you liked this quiz, post it in your profile, and be sure to say which character you got!

What do your friends describe you as?

A: The coolest bully in town

B: Brave although sometimes a little bit “too brave”

C: Extremely loyal

D: Very smart although a bit of a know-it-all and a bookworm

E: Very sly and cunning and determined to get what you want

F: Constantly pulling pranks, very funny, and a “class clown”

G: Sporty, popular, the list of compliments goes on and on...

H: Obsessed with following rules, and a bit of a goody-goody

I: Cool

J: Made fun of, despised by many, and always longing for revenge

K: Kind and strong, although a little bit on the crazy side

L: Obsessed with how you look and with gossip

M: Pure evil

N: Always nervous, although loyal

O: Constantly seeking fun, even if it means breaking the rules

P: Dreamy and a wee bit loony

Q: Very forgetful, although brave

R: Dedicated to sports

If you went to Hogwarts, what would be your goal for the school term?

A: What’s Hogwarts?

B: Capture an evil lord and discover a secret, even though it isn’t my job or business

C: Get on the Quidditch team so that I can carry on the family name

D: Get the best grades, and read, read, READ!!

E: Play nasty tricks on my enemy

F: Play tricks and open a joke shop

G: Find a new boyfriend/ girlfriend after I dumped my last one

H: Become Head Boy/ Girl

I: Show everyone how cool I am (again)

J: Get revenge

K: Keep everything orderly while being fair

L: Lean as much gossip as I can and chill with my boyfriend/girlfriend

M: World domination

N: Do everything that my master tells me to do

O: Have fun breaking rules

P: Read the Quibbler and day dream

Q: Try to become less forgetful and to not get a Howler

R: Lead my Quidditch team to victory

How do you normally dress (if you were a witch or a wizard)?

A: Muggle clothes (size XXXL)

B: Normal robes but a little bit messy

C: Hand me downs

D: Normal robes kept neat and tidy

E: Only the finest, for my father makes so much money!!

F: Well, business had been booming so I treated myself to the finest dragon skin jacket

G: Just normal robes

H: I wear normal robes, compare to the horrible sweater my Mum made for me

I: I only wear the coolest clothes, no matter what others say about them

J: Long black sweeping robes

K: Long blue robes with crescent moons on them

L: Well, let’s just say that if I were headmaster, the dress code would be a lot different! All girls in bikinis and mini skirts and guys always shirtless!

M: Long black cloak

N: Whatever my master tells me to wear

O: Fine robes, for my family is wealthy, although I despise them

P: Sparkly silver robes, vegetables as earrings, and strange glasses (others call it eccentric, I call it unique).

Q: Robes with messed up potion spilled on them

R: Quidditch robes of course!!

Where is your favorite place in the Wizarding World?

A: I don’t know that many places, but Honeydukes rules!!

B: The Burrow

C: Oh, I don’t know, maybe the Gryffindor Common Room, or Hogsmead

D: The library!

E: My fancy mansion

F: Filch’s office (I have made it my home)

G: Anywhere that involves Quittage and all of my pals

H: My office at the Ministry where I am with my boss

I: Anywhere where I can show off my coolness

J: Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom (with me teaching)

K: In my office where I can help others and be with my pet bird

L: The Slytherin Common Room

M: Anywhere that I can be evil, and with my followers all around me

N: Anywhere that my master is

O: Anywhere but my family’s house

P: With an odd and mysterious animal

Q: I thought of a favorite place once, but I forgot it

R: The Quidditch pitch

What is your slogan?

A: “I’m hungry”

B: “I know it’s dangerous, but I have to do it”

C: “Bloody hell (or even more foul language)”

D: “To the library”

E: “Purebloods rule”

F: “Don’t worry, it’s just a bit of fun”

G: “I love Harry Potter!”

H: “Well, my boss says...”

I: “No, I don’t need a haircut”

J: “Ah, the famous Harry Potter...” in a mocking voice

K: Nitwit! Bludder! Oddment! Tweak! (or anything else that is odd)

L: “OMG! Did you hear yet?”

M: “Muuaaahahaha!!”

N: “Y-y-yes M-m-master"

O: “You remind me so much of your father”

P: “...yes, of course they exist...”

Q: “I forgot”

R: “Are you coming to sports team practice?”

What animal are you most like?

A: A glutinous pig

B: A brave stag

C: A playful and loyal terrier

D: A clever otter

E: A sly snake

F: A cheeky monkey

G: A lovable, playful, smart, and cute kitten

H: An annoying magpie

I: A cool and good looking peacock

J: A smart, although sometimes sly and mean raven

K: A strong and brave phoenix

L: A prissy, girly poodle

M: A huge, super-mega-ultra evil snake

N: A scared, quiet, and gullible mouse

O: A loyal and danger hungry dog

P: A dreamy long-eared rabbit

Q: A brave and loyal beagle

R: An animal? There aren’t any animals in Quidditch!

For Christmas, if you could have anything, you would most like?

A: Food

B: A fast broomstick

C: Fame

D: Books

E: All mudbloods gone

F: A joke shop

G: A position on the Quittage team

H: To become Minister of Magic

I: A really hot girl/guy

J: Revenge on my enemies

K: The Hogwarts Houses to get along

L: New clothes and make-up

M: World domination

N: My master to be pleased with me

O: Freedom from my family

P: Friends

Q: A rare and exotic plant

R: For my team to win

If you were the age for the Yule Ball, who would you go with?

A: I wouldn’t go with anyone because I would spend the whole time eating!

B: Someone I managed to get at the last minute after embarrassing myself in front of my crush

C: Someone my friend got for me at the last minute after I embarrassed myself in front of someone who is way too hot and popular for me

D: A Quidditch player who’d been admiring me for a while

E: Someone in Slytherin

F: Someone who really likes to have a wild and good time!!

G: I am popular so I got asked by a lot of different people

H: A smart prefect

I: I am so cool that I got asked a lot

J: No one asked me. I’m a loner

K: Someone brave and smart like me

L: My crush! obnoxious high pitched giggle

M: No one loves me for I am too evil!

N: Someone who my master would pick for me; which would be no one, so I’d go alone

O: I’ve got good looks so I got asked a lot

P: Everyone finds me a bit eccentric and I wasn’t asked; but that’s okay

Q: Amazingly after I did a lot of asking, I found someone!

R: I would bring my Quidditch broom; my one true love

Which organization would you belong to?

A: I don’t go to a freak school with freak clubs for freaks like you! FREAK!

B: Dumbledore’s Army; I live for fighting evil

C: Dumbledore’s Army; I have some friends in the club and I like fighting evil

D: S.P.E.W.!! House-elves need rights!!

E: The Inquisitorial Squad; getting others in trouble is my thing!

F: The Dueling Club; it is hilarious seeing Lockheart fall flat on his back!

G: Dumbledore’s Army; I have some awesome hexes!

H: I would want to work for the Ministry of Magic of course!

I: The Order; everyone I know joined so I might as well join too

J: I would probably join multiple organizations and work as a double agent

K: The Order; fighting evil is what I must do!

L: Anything my crush joins really obnoxious high pitched giggling

M: Death Eaters of course. I AM EVIL!!

N: Anything my master would want me to join

O: The Order; I want to help

P: Dumbledore’s Army; the only people who seem to like me

Q: The Power Rangers!! No, wait, that’s not an option? Then I guess I would choose Dumbledore’s Army

R: THE QUIDDITCH TEAM!!

What do you think of Harry Potter? (the person, not the movies/ books)

A: He’s fun to bully

B: He seems pretty brave and nice

C: He would make a very good friend

D: He’s very brave and nice, but should try harder in class

E: I hate the filthy little half-blood!

F: He is a nice kid but needs a bigger sense of humor

G: I totally have the world's biggest crush on him! He would so be my boyfriend!

H: He’s rebellious and people with good sense should stay away from him

I: He’s not as cool as me

J: He’s following in his dad’s foot steps for sure!

K: He’s a good student, brave, and a favorite of mine

L: He takes the spotlight away from Draco

M: Must kill Harry... must kill Harry...

N: I dunno... He seems like a good kid but...

O: I love him like a son! He’s brave and...

P: He seems very nice

Q: I look up to him and hope to be brave like him someday

R: He’s a really good Seeker but needs to make Quidditch higher on his priority list

Now look back at your answers and count up how many of each letter you picked (how many A’s, B’s, C’s, etc.). Then you can look bellow and see which character has the same personality as you!

If you answered mostly...

A’s: You are most like Dudley Dursley! Congratulations! You are a muggle who loves to eat! You may have a bad attitude and be a bully, but under all of that fat you still do have a heart. Dudley is a muggle, he doesn’t go to Hogwarts, and his friends include the boys in his gang. Good Job!

B’s: You are most like Harry Potter! Congratulations! You are brave, heroic, and kind! You sometimes suffer from teen angst and tend to get so wrapped up in your own matters that you can’t focus on anything else. You also like to mess with other people’s business. Harry is in Gryffindor and his best friends are Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley! You are most attracted to people like Ginny Weasley! Good Job!

C’s: You are most like Ron Weasley! Congratulations! You are brave, loyal, and a good friend! Although, sometimes you have a bad attitude and a bad temper. You tend to hold grudges against people you don’t like, but you are still a loyal and great friend. You also suffer from jealousy. Ron is in Gryffindor and his best friends are Harry Potter and Hermione Granger! You are most attracted to people like Hermione Granger! Good Job!

D’s: You are most like Hermione Granger! Congratulations! You are brave, intelligent, and a good friend. You are a bookworm and know-it-all, but are still a nice person. You are so smart, but besides being intelligent you are a great friend with a kind and considerate heart. You find it important to fight for the rights of those who are weak and need help. Hermione is in Gryffindor and her best friends are Harry Potter and Ron Weasley! You are most attracted to people like Ron Weasley! Good Job!

E’s: You are most like Draco Malfoy! Congratulations! You are sly and smart. Although many may call you evil, you still can be nice when the moment is right. You are rich and enjoy basking in your wealth. You often get angry and enjoy teasing others who are poorer or weaker than you. You are a bit of a bully to those who you don’t like. Be carefully, you may get yourself into trouble with a personality like yours. Draco is in Slytherin and his best friends are Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle! You are most attracted to people like Pansy Parkinton! Good Job!

F’s: You are most like Fred and George Weasley! Congratulations! You are the ultimate prankster with a huge sense of humor! You enjoy jokes and you love to laugh! You aren’t too concerned about how people see you, you just care that you have a good time! Often you will get on others nerves and are constantly in detention. Even though you joke a lot, you are still very brave. Fred and George are in Gryffindor and their best friends are each other and Lee Jordan! You are most attracted to people like Angelina Johnson! Good Job!

G’s: You are most like Ginny Weasley! Congratulations! You are considerate, caring, popular, sweet, and athletic. You are popular due to your kind and sweet nature. You are constantly dumping and getting new boyfriends, and you tend to get lots of crushes. You are kind to everyone and you are also brave. Ginny is in Gryffindor and she is popular with many friends which include Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood! You are most attracted to people like Harry Potter! Good Job!

H’s: You are most like Percy Weasley! Congratulations! You are extremely studious and love your studies. You are a bit rule obsessed and a bit power hungry. This need for power may lead you to stray away from your family. Although others may tease you about being as studious and rule-obsessed as you are, you are still brave. Percy is in Gryffindor and a friend of his is Penelope Clearwater! You are most attracted to people like Penelope Clearwater! Good Job!

I’s: You are most like Bill Weasley! Congratulations! You are the king of cool! You are a bit of a chick-magnet and are described as good looking. If you were to describe yourself with one word it would be: cool. Bill Weasley was in Gryffindor and one of his friends is Fleur Delacour! You are most attracted to people like Fleur Delacour! Good Job!

J’s: You are most like Severus Snape! Congratulations! You are often sly, mean, and revenge hungry. You are still very intelligent and you have a very soft heart. You tend to be unfair and mean to others. Severus was in Slytherin and one of his friends was Lily Potter! You are most attracted to people like Lily Potter! Good Job!

K’s: You are most like Albus Dumbledore! Congratulations! You are wise and want others to get along. Many may say that you are a bit kooky, but you are still liked by most. You are brave and like to fight for what is right. Albus was in Gryffindor and he did become the headmaster of Hogwarts and one of his friends was Grindewald! Good Job!

L’s: You are most like Pansy Parkington! Congratulations! You are sly, mean, and a gossiper. You love hanging out with your boyfriend who you utterly adore and you are very much a girly girl. You are sly and mean and hate everything your boyfriend hates. You love gossip and always love to learn more. Pansy is in Slytherin and one of her friends is Draco Malfoy! You are most attracted to people like Draco Malfoy! Good Job!

M's: You are most like Lord Voldemort! Congratulations! You are pure evil and cause fear in all those that you run into! You have an amazing ability of manipulation! You hobbies include trying to kill Harry and murdering hundreds of innocent people. Now, most people are not like this (if you really are like this, you shouldn't be on fanfiction.net, you should be in an assylum), so to get your probably more accurate results, look at the results for mostly F's. Voldemort was in Slytherin and he didn't really have an friends, but he had his followers the death eaters! Good Job!

N's: You are most like Peter Pettigrew! Congratulations! You are rather whimpy and easily manipulated. You are also a loyal follower than your superiors can easily rely on. You enjoy (well, probably not enjoy) doing your master's bidding. Peter was in Gryffindor and his friends were Voldemort (not exactly a friend), James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black. Good Job!

O's: You are most like Sirius Black! Congratulations! You are brave, risk taking, and a mischief maker! You love pranking, although you can sometimes be a bit of a bully. Most of all you are brave and love to take risks. Also, you are very attractive. Sirius was in Gryffindor and his friends included James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Good Job!

P's: You are most like Luna Lovegood! Congratulations! You are intelligent and wise. You are also loyal and a great friend. Some people may not like you because you are a bit loony and eccentric, but you really are kind and love animals. Luna is in Ravenclaw and her friends included Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom. Good Job!

Q's: You are most like Neville Longbottom! Congratulations! You are extremely loyal, and some may think you aren't, you are very brave. You tend to forget almost everything, but your loyalty and bravery make up for this flaw. At times you can be a little bit dorky. Neville is in Gryffindor and his friends include Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Luna Lovegood. Good Job!

R's: You are most like Oliver Wood. Congratulations! Although a minor character, you are an amazing athlete. Sports are you life and you are very good at them. Some times you may need to be reminded that there is life outside of sports. Oliver is in Gryffindor and his friends include his fellow Quidditch team members and his broomstick! Good Job!

I got:

Lord Voldemort!


You know you're from the 90's when...

You remember watching:
-Doug
-Pinky and the Brain
-Rockos modern Life
-TGIF
-Family Matters
-Dinosaurs
-Boy Meets World
-The Magic School Bus
-Wishbone
-Reading Rainbow

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You remember when Super Nintendos became popular.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember Ring Pops.

If you remember when every thing was "DA BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

One word. . . Furbies.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, Care Bears, Aladdin, and My Little Pony.

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out and you collected those Beanie Babies.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

You collected all the Troll dolls

If you even know what an original walk-man is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .

Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .

You know that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You danced to "wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

Two words... Trapper Keeper.

"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back"

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. (pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid 3.50 for a movie.

Bill-Nye The Science Guy, MR RODGERS, Gullah Gullah Island, Gumby, Lamb Chop, original Barney

act like you didn't watch Afro-king BOB ROSS paint trees on T.V.

skip it and bop it.


Copy and Pastes: (aren't you proud of me, I put them all in one section so they are easier than being all over!)

If you have run up and down an escalator copy and paste this into your profile

If you strongly believe that you are going to Hogwarts, just your letter is a bit delayed, paste this in your profile

If you are obsessed with over 30 characters from books...copy and paste this on your profile

If people question your sanity daily, copy and paste this into your profile

If you take the stairs instead of the escalator, copy and paste this into your profile

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

If you could read that put it in your profile

If you have ever danced to elevator music, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are an anglophile (no, you don't moleste brits), copy and paste this into your profile

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think British teeth are sexy, copy and paste this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you have a mad crush on a fictional book character, copy and paste this into your profile

If you believe that the Harry Potter series could never exsist without Snape, put this in your profile

If you have an undying love for Voldy, because you know that evilness=hotness, paste this in your profile

If you think copy and pastes are stupid, copy and paste this into your profile

If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself, put this in your profile

If you like to sing loudly in public, put this in your profile

If you wish you were named Barbra just so you could go a "bra" for short, copy and paste this into your prfile

If you have ever meditated in the middle of the floor of a crowded subway train, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile

If you talk to inanimate objects, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that people who don't like PJO are crazy/stupid/losers, copy this into yor profile

If you laugh out loud at people's facial expressions, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever twitched in public just for the sake of twitching, copy and paste this into your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile

If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get two reviews, copy this into your profile

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

If you think Miley Cirus is a loser who is going to end up like Brittney Spears, copy this into your profile

If you hate rap, copy this into your profile

If you hate hip hop, copy this into your profile

If you think that the best music of all times was from the 70s, copy this into your profile

If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile

If you jump up and down on the elevator, copy and paste this to your profile (were you supposed to jump on the elevator?)

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, and you're proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you have ever considered going to the Empire State Building and asking for an audience with Zeus, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, copy and... wait, what was I going to write?

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile

Some people are like slinkies...they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. If you agree with this, put this in your profile

If you think Hades is cool, copy and past this to your profile

If there are times where you annoy people just for the fun of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiel

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you have OCHPD (Obsessive Compulsive Harry Potter Disorder) copy this into your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

"Let's eat grandpa!!"
"Let's eat, grandpa!!"
Punctuation saves lives
. If you finally realized the importance, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If you think people should review after they read, copy and paste this on your profile

If you DON'T check under the bed for monsters, but you DO check behind the shower curtain for monsters/murderers/Michael Jackson, copy this into your profile

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile

One of my current favorite characters is a character no one would give a second thought too. If you like a character no one would give a second thought too, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that cheese is a living and thriving organism, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's character, Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

Real rebels read banned books; if you are one of these rebels, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're ON A BOAT! like me, then copy and past this into your profile

If you wish you knew how to copy and paste, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

R the R and the Rs!! Riley lives on!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Phone Calls by Rock'n'Slash reviews
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Thomas the Tank Engine UNCUT: Episode 2 by Gregtheimaginative reviews
Percy wants to deliver his favourite band to the concert, but Gordon gets picked for the job instead!
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 650 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Complete
The Miseducation of Michael Scott by Bears Eat Beets reviews
CO-WRITTEN WITH HALLOWEENJACK138. Michael wants to learn the true meaning of being African-American. Meanwhile, Dwight hires Pam to illustrate his independent comic. Cringeworthy humor at its finest.
Office - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,159 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/23/2008 - Complete
Thomas the Tank Engine UNCUT: Episode 1 by Gregtheimaginative reviews
Thomas and his friends like you've never seen them before...rated T for bleeped strong language and some British swearing
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Complete
Irrelavent Essays: Godzilla compared to Table Salt by Alexander Wright reviews
The first in a series of essays comparing random fiction characters to random things.
Godzilla - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 707 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/26/2008 - Complete
The Redneck TellTale Heart by jwhaler82 reviews
Edgar Allen Poe's classic tale of murder and insanity...dumbed down. One-shot.
Edgar Allan Poe - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,551 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/17/2008 - Complete
Dorawind by Stupidfic reviews
Dora the Explorer goes on a quest of epic somethingness
Elder Scroll series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,647 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/29/2007 - Complete
Thomas The Suicidal Tank Engine by Stupidfic reviews
all aboard! next stop, THIS FIC!
Thomas the Tank Engine - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 331 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/16/2007 - Complete
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Poof on the Roof reviews
This was a Merchant of Venice story for school. When Bassanio and Antonio first meet they seem to have a simple friendship. But it morphs into having two sides, a side of abuse, and one of love. Antonio/Bassanio. Please read and review!
Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,438 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Complete
The Fanciful Musings of Severus Snape reviews
Uncomfortably explicit details of the personal life of the world's greatest potions master.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,156 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/29/2011 - Severus S.
Wizards, Demigods, Clifford the Big Red Hellhound reviews
When the Harry Potter people visit Camp Half-Blood, they truly have the experience of a lifetime. Full of randomness, adventure, and twisted humor. Rated T because I felt like it. Enjoy reading!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 21,490 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 8/31/2009 - Published: 9/23/2008 - Complete
From Prep to Punk reviews
Annabeth loses a bet to Thalia, resulting in Annabeth's worst nightmare. Thalia gives Annabeth a makeover and tries to teach her how to be "punk". Please read and review!
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,577 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/11/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Thalia G., Annabeth C. - Complete
Holy Crow! reviews
What is the real reason why Edward and all of the other boys of Forks are so attracted to Bella? The truth is revealed here why everyone is saying "Holy Crow" about Bella. Very funny oneshot! Read and Review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,272 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
123 Ways to Annoy My Band Director reviews
Ever wondered the perfect way to annoy your band director? Well, here is the perfect list of 123 creative and funny ways to drive them to insanity! A must read for all band-geeks
Marching Band - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,875 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 14 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Complete