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Joined 09-05-08, id: 1686466, Profile Updated: 04-04-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Hey! Its me...So...Yeah...

Quotes I Love

~They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

~When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing

~Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

~"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

~A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a best friend will be in the room next to you yelling "THAT WAS AWESOME LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

~My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. Oh, you think I'm kidding.

~My friends are the kind of people that would spend hours trying to drown a fish. ...But I love them to death!

Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

For My story Our Meadow Ashlyns Car

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The Fifth Wheel by Emmett's-Luver reviews
Emmett is a fifth wheel, will he ever find true love? What happens when he meets Rosalie Hale? Better summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,896 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/11/2009 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Emmett, Rosalie
Missing Piece by LaPushComesToShove reviews
Edward is away at a business meeting. He realizes how much he misses Bella and his children...a sweet one-shot of Edward and Bella. All human.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,085 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 6/6/2009 - Edward, Bella
Forever Ours by ApplesRansom reviews
Bella and Edward post Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Bella, Edward
Carlisle's MidLife Crisis by CarsmeCarlislexEsme reviews
There is a time in every man's life that he feels like he is being tied down and that his youth and freedom are gone. What will happen to the Cullen Family when Carlisle experiences these feelings. Carlisle is OOC in some chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 12 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Carlisle, Esme
Fun in Europe by Bluebaby555 reviews
We all know that the quiet ones are actually beasts in the bedroom and at certain famous sights across Europe. Pure Carlisle/Esme smut and fluff. Rated higher for later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,308 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/28/2008 - Published: 9/18/2008 - Carlisle, Esme
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Im Not Ok reviews
Bella is a girl with eating disorders. Edward is a psychologist. Will these two find love in the most awkward place possible, or will it remain a doctor patient relationship? Suck at summaries, so read the real thing. R&R.AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,651 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
Our Meadow reviews
After Breaking Dawn. Contains Spoilers! Bella and Edward go back to their meadow. When they leave Nessie gets sick. What is wrong with Jacob? Who is this new girl Ashlyn?R&R I suck at summaries so read the real thing
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,160 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/30/2008 - Published: 10/19/2008