Author has written 1 story for Ranger's Apprentice.
The Door Within Tril. - Wayne Thomas Batson
Bloody Jack Adventures Ser. - L.A. Meyer
The Protector of the Small books- Tamora Pierce
Elissa's Quest - Erica Verillo
Maximum Ride Ser. - James Patterson
Sisters of the Sword Ser. - Maya Snow
The Ranger's Apprentice ser. - John Flanagan
The Song of the Lioness Quartet- Tamora Pierce
Rhapsody: Child of Blood ser. - Elizabeth Haydon
Abhorsen Tril. - Garth Nix
The Hero and the Crown - Robin McKinley
The Blue Sword - Robin McKinley
The City of Ember ser. - Jeanne DuPrau
Graceling - Kristin Cashore
Midnight Rider - Joan Hiatt Harlow
Pirate Curse - Kai Meyer
Riding Freedom - Pam Munoz Ryan
This Present Darkness - Frank Peretti
Piercing the Darkness- Frank Peretti
Isle of Swords - Wayne Thomas Batson
Stoneheart tril. - Charlie Fletcher
Uglies ser. - Scott Westerfield
Nobody's Princess ser. - Esther M. Friesner
Fortress in the Eye of Time - C.J. Cherryh
The Strongbow Saga - Judson Roberts
Beka Cooper tril. - Tamora Pierce
The Oath - Frank Peretti
The Wheel of Time ser. - Robert Jordan
Monster - Frank Peretti
The Gallagher Girls ser. - Ally Carter
The Mortal Instruments ser. - Cassandra Clare
Claidi Journals ser. - Tanith Lee
Middleworld - J & P Voelkel
Beyond the Reflections Edge - Bryan Davis
Eon: Dragoneye Reborn - Alison Goodman
The Naming - Alison Croggon
Gone - Michael Grant
Fablehaven - Brandon Mull
The Highwayman's Footsteps - Nicola Morgan
Water Shaper - Laura Williams McCaffrey
Inkheart - Cornelia Funke
Runemarks - Joanne Harris
Waiting for Normal - Leslie Connor
The Cry of the Icemark - Stuart Hill
DragonQuest - Donita K. Paul
Green Rider - Kristen Britain
First Rider's Call - Kristen Britain
The High King's Tomb - Kristen Britain
Willow King - Chris Platt
The Singer of All Songs - Kate Constable
East - Edith Pattou
Ophelia - Lisa Klein
The Name of the Wind - Patrick Rothfuss
Random Quizzes! :D
1. YOUR REAL NAME:
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle):
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fave color and fave animal):
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name):
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink):
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name):
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name):
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets):
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Quote it. Now!
"pig. Then smashed open his skull. I can still feel his" (that was from Brisingr...0.0)
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there?
My brother's desk
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The clock ticking (creepy...)
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
About 2 hours ago. I was feeding and watering my horse.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
The ff Ranger's Revenge
9. What are you wearing?
A white Roxy tank top and my pajama shorts
10. Did you dream last night?
No, I was way too tired
11. When did you last laugh?
Sometime around 5:00
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Lot's of odd pictures and a map and a list of the states and their capitals other info like that...
13. Seen anything weird lately?
14. What do you think of this quiz?
uh, it asks really random questions...
15. What is the last film you saw?
Saving Private Ryan
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I would buy a pair of x-country boots for my horse, an ipod you can watch videos on, a touchscreen cell phone, and I'd have the vet come out to check Houston's legs (does that count? lol)
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I just discovered I am 7th grade lvl in math computation (and i'm in high school! :s)
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Make everyone a Christian
19. Do you like to dance?
Ummmm, not really
Ugh, I despise him
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Hmmm, too far in the future
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Same as above
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yeah, maybe Ireland or something like that
24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
Are there horses here?
Random Stuff to Post on Your Profile
The color blue reminds me of chocolate and Edward Cullen. I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. When I laugh, I sound like my gay uncle. is it possible to fall off the earth? People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile, Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss! (and add something random)
If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile
Copy and paste this into your profile if you and your BFFs watch movies just to laugh at them and make fun of them.
If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.
Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.
If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D
When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that!
If you are a total clutz copy this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!)
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.
Here's a joke...
there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...
the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...
he gets big muscles and swims across...
but almost dies 5 times...
the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...
he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...
but he almost dies 3 times...
the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...
he turns into a woman...
walks 4 yards...
and crosses the bridge.
"All that is gold does not glitter,
not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
a light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
the crownless again shall be king."
Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:
Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
Clap when the good guy gets killed.
During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"
Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"
Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
Yell out what is going to happen.
Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.
Say that they cannot sit next to you because your invisible friend already is.
Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.
Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.
Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.
Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.
Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.
Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.
Try to start a wave.
Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.
Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.
Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"
Sing with the theme music.
Bring and use your own air freshener.
At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."
Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.
Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.
Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.
Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"
Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.
Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.
Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.
When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"
Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.
Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"
Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.
Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.
Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"
Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.
Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.
When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"
Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by them self.
Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.
During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"
Before the movie begins, tape fart cushions to various chairs in the theater room.
Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.
Bring a water gun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"
Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"
Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"
Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can hear it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.
Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.
Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.
Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.
Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending.
If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile.(nix the fainting and u got me in a nutshell)
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' COULD, copy this into your profile.
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
--Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict, Supergirrl, Elemental-ANimal, Mother Nature's Daughter, Hikuya, Briar Elwood, Megan Cooper, xxTunstall Chickxx, rach ratty, Lithelion
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If you have ever want to scream to the world that you hate/like someone copy and paste this into your profile.
you may think you’ve won. But you have to know, I can run. Really fast
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this in your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc, Ice wolf13, Lithelion.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), Ice wolf13, Lithelion.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball?
People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
Peanut Butter goes with jelly. It also goes with chocolate. Jelly goes with bread, and bread crumbs are good on chicken. Chicken is good with ketchup. Ketchup is good on a hamburger. Hamburgers are sold at McDonald's. McDonald's is not healthy for you. If you like all or most of the stuff that I said here, copy and paste this onto you page. If you don't, copy and paste anyway but stop eating at McDonald's because it will make you fat.
My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile.
If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.
If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman."
When she walks away from you mad===[ Follow her]
You know you live in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. If you agree, copy and past this to your profile.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that: quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
I think if I have a good breakfast, I could go without food for the rest of the day. I think that until about lunchtime.
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
A teacher was winding up a discussion in her fourth grad calls on the importance of curiosity.
"Where would we be today if no one had ever been curious?"
One of her students piped up,
"In the Garden on Eden?"
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Flying is easy. All you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss!
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. If you so totally agree with that, then copy and paste this onto your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Finch told them it was uncool to breathe. If you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off at them, copy this and paste it to your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, mirror, or wall, copy this onto your profile.
If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for rainy days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)
Two dead boys
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don’t believe it’s true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his friends,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
If you have ever loved some one that isn't real, copy paste this into your profile
If you think that bunnies are going to take over the world, copy paste this into your profile
If you have ever stayed up all night reading fanfiction, copy paste this into your profile
My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN
BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.
-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!
- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -
- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
How Many Dogs Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and we're inside worrying about a stupid lightbulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code too.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease let me change the lightbulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed anything, and make one more perimeter patrol to make sure no one has taken advantage of this situation.
Jack Russel Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: What lightbulb? There's a lightbulb? I'm sorry, but I can't see it.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or, "We don't need no stinkin light bulb."
Greyhoud: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Austrailian Shepherd: First I'll put all the lightbulbs in little circles...
Poodle: I'll just blow in the border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
How Many Cats Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?
All Cats: Cats do not change lightbulbs. People change lightbulbs. So the real question is,
"How long will it be before I can expect light, dinner, and a massage?"
Which all proves, once again,
DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
- He who laughs last didn't get it.
- When there's a will, I want to be in it.
-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
If you have ever gone to the mall just to mess with the people there, copy paste this into your profile
if you have ever done something stupid at school, copy paste this into your profile
If you HATE Twilight copy and paste this to your profile
If you turn your head to the right and see a pirate, copy paste this into your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!
There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth
I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
You call me a B--ch well a B--ch is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it
Life was so simple when boys had cooties!
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!
Elmo knows where you live!
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
I ran with scissors, and lived!
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?"
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
It's funny until someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious!
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with. (no u sleep in the morning!!)
When you have kids of your own, you forgive your parents.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia.
Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good...
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'
A day without sunshine is...night.
When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like heck.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a b--ch.
DO NOT HIT KIDS!! No, seriously. They have guns now.
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(this one's hilarious!)
this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is retard cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life
...MY SECRET DON'T READ
1 I need to tell you a secret LO0K AT 5
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his brake wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.
Things I felt I should repost. Warning: May cause tears.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
Now you have two choices
15 Things to do when your in Wal-mart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!
I am the girl...that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out ever. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. I am the girl that loves rain and storms more than a sunny day, and not because she can't go out, but because she does go out. I am the girl that plays with stuffed animals despite her age. I am the girl that prefers novels to manga. I am the girl that doesn't try to hide her inner child.
LIVE TO LOVE AND LOVE TO LIVE!
(and don't forget chocolate)
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