Hey. Ummmm.. Well.. If you want to know anything about me just Message me and I'll tell you.
But here are the basics:
My name is Kimberly-Jana.
I'm 15 years old.
I live in Florida.
I have two annoying older brothers named Emmy and Joey. Emmy is 22 and Joey (Joe) is 21.
They come to visit on a daily basis and annoy the living hell out of me. :)
I live with my mother.
I was born on December 17th 1994. Where, you ask? Well, here on Earth. No duh!! Lol!
Um.. I attend Celebration High School as a Sophomore.
I'm weird/awesome/just plain cool/ your best friend/ your worst enemy!!
1. YOUR REAL NAME: Kimberly Rodriguez
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Kimizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Purple Lion
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Jana Owassa (hahaha!!)
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Rodkiiaz
6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Black Arizona
7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Idaisea
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Margarita
Really sad movies :(
Being left alone in Life
Your Perfect Pizza:
Pepperoni .. lol
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:
Making more friends than I had last year
(This is going to be hard lol)
Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:
Thoughts First Waking Up:
'What's that sound?! .. Oh, right .. the alarm clock'
Your Best Physical Feature:
Hmmm .. my hair?
Don't have one.
McDonald's or Burger King:
That's a tough one .. umm .. Mickey D's
Chocolate or Vanilla:
Do you Smoke:
Will you Smoke:
Do you Swear:
Do you Sing:
In the shower ;p
Do you Shower Daily:
Of course .. who doesn't?
Do you behave yourself:
Do you get Motion Sickness:
Do you think you are Attractive:
Ummm .. Yes?
Are you a Health Freak:
Do you get along with your Parents:
Correction PARENT .. no 's' .. and yes, I do
Do you like Thunderstorms:
Yes, I love them
Do you play an Instrument:
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:
Nope, but I want to try it
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:
Vet, Chef, Photographer, or Pediatrician
What country would you most like to Visit:
Number of CDs I own:
Maybe .. Hm .. 25?
I like all type of music.
What do your feet smell like?
What does your hair smell like?
Can you clap with your feet?
Have you seen purple cows?
On paper, yes. In reality, no.
If you have had 10 Mountain Dews, what would you be like?
A hyper-active little pixie.
When you think of the words "George Bush", what comes to your mind?
W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
2. Be serious or be funny?
3. Drink whole or skim milk?:
4. Die in a fire or drown?
5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
Enemies, getting them angry is just too much fun!
D O . Y O U . P R E F E R.
1. Sun or moon?:
2. Leaf-bare or Leaf-fall?
3. Left or right?
4. Ten acquaintances or five best friends?:
Five Best Friends
5. Sunny or rain:
6. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
A B O U T . Y O U.
1. What time is it?
7:47P.M (How is this question about me?)
2. What do you want to do?
Hang out with my Friends
3. Where do you wanna live?
4. How many kids do you want?
5. Do you want to get married?
6. Have you ever done drugs?
Yes .. unfortunately
7. What do you like on your pizza?
8. Can you cross your eyes?
9. Do you make your bed daily?
R A N D O M.
1. Which shoe goes on first?
2. Ever thrown a shoe at someone?
Yes .. do high-heels count as shoes?
3. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
4. Have you ever eaten Spam?
5. Favorite ice cream?
Cookie Dough .. yummy ;p
6. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?
7. Do you cook?
8. Current mood?
Happy (Just made my ex Jealous ;p)
IN . THE. LAST. 48 HOURS. HAVE. YOU.
1. Kissed some one?
3. Been hugged:
4. Felt stupid:
5. Missed someone:
6. Danced Crazy?
7. Gotten your hair cut?
9. Been kissed:
. S T U F F .
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
2. Do you have a Dog?
Yup (Annoying little chihuahua)
3. Do you have a cat?
4. The last time you've been sledding?
Never .. I live in FL
5. Do you consider yourself creative?
6. Do you have any friends on FF.net?
T7. Do you know anybody in real life from FF.net
8. Where are you?
My dining room (Laptop)
9. Look up, then look back, what do you see?
The ceiling, my mom
10. What are you listening to right now?
The TV behind me, the typing sounds, and my mom talking on the phone ;p
11. Last thing you ate?
Granola Bar (For My Snack Time ;p)
12. Last thing you thought?
'What's the point of eating if we 'throw-out' the food later?'
13. You have a million dollars what do you do?
Too many things to write down ..
14. What are you eating/drinking right now?
Eating nothing&Drinking Water
When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing!
My friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen.
Friends: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
Friends: Will share their umbrella with you
Friends: Ask why you're crying
Friends: Say you can do better
Friends: Would bail you out of jail.
Friends: Will help you move.
Friends: Will offer you a soda.
Friends: Have never seen you cry.
Friend: Asks me for my number
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Friend: Lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Friends: Help you get over a boy
Friends: Know only a few things about you
Friends: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
Friends: Would knock on your front door.
Friends: You have to tell them not to tell anyone
Friends: Get angry at you for calling them late in the night
Friends: Wonder about your love life
Friends: Will help you find prince charming
Friends: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
Friends: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
Guy's point of view
We don't care if you talk to other guys.We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
What a Boyfriend SHOULD do (A real boyfriend):
Loving each other-
Laying below the stars-
Now make a wish about something you would like to happen Between you and your crush...
Guys re-post this if you agree.
Girls re-post this if you think it's cute.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward Cullen."
SPONGEBOB GOT PATRICK,
"The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me."
.: There's three ways to do things:.
I'm a BRUNETTE and I'm a cutie,
Mess with me and I'll kick your booty,
Redheads are smart,
Blonds think they're cool,
Well think again,
'Cause BRUNETTES rule!
Losers stare, make a fuss.
Just one question-
Roses are red
WhEn i WaLk By, Ur AsKiN Ur Boy,
Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,
Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,
Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,
Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,
Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,
Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT,
So why bother?
Man: Where have you been all my life?
This has got to be one of the most clever
When you rearrange the letters:
THE MORSE CODE :
ELECTION - RESULTS:
A DECIMAL POINT:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!
Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP!
'I wished upon a falling star to make me stronger. It came true because the next day I was able to stand while watching you walk away.'
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils"
If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing
Two wrongs may not make a right, but three rights make a left.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades. No one will believe you.
I’m not sleeping. I’m just looking at the insides of my eyelids
Hear no evil. See no evil. Make some evil
There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
I am a fruit-loop in a world full of Cheerios.
You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club
It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes.
Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!
We're all a little weird. And life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up in mutual weirdness and call it love.
Want to know who your real friends are? Mess up and see who is still standing beside you.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
With everything that you can do, the real question is what will you do?
Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer.
Directions to Llama-land:
heads or tails? heads: your mine, tails: im yours
When the world is ending, I'm throwing the party!
Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned."
They say greener grass on the other side but its probably just artificial turf.
Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for.
Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you.
If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
'Make a bet with me, and I will win. Fight me, and you will loose. Tell me I can't, and I will. Tell me to, and I won't. Dare me, and I'll do it. Say I can, and I will.'
'Try and run from me and I'll trip you before I kick your ass.'
'If I had a baseball bat I'd hit you with it.'
'Try me and see what you get.'
'Hurt the ones I love again and I will show you the meaning of hell on Earth'
'Touch me and you will loose your life.'
'You really shouldn't have pissed off the person who can make your life a living hell.'
'I'll protect my friends because I know they're worth protecting.'
'I don't give crap what they said because everybody has a talent. they are wrong and I know you can be the best you are.'
'Do you really want to try and hurt me?'
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
Agree with me now- it will save sooo much time
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!
You call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.
We're not sarcastic, we're hilarious. We're not annoying, we're just cooler than you. We're not bitches, we just don't like you. We're not obsessed, we're just best friends.
I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?
It doesn't matter whether the glass is half-full or half-empty. Just drink the damn thing and get it over with.
Remember, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, twenty-eight to smile, but hey, it only takes four to reach out and to punch someone.
Advice is what we ask for when we already have the answer but wish we didn't.
Don't play games with a girl who can play better.
Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is not.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame
The past. It's done. It's unchangeable. Move on.
Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it all together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that is true strength.
No one was perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream.
There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who never will. So don't worry about the people in your past. There is a reason they didn't make it to your future.
Judge me and I'll prove you wrong. Tell me what to do, and I'll tell you off. Say I'm not worth it and watch where I end up. Call me a bitch and I'll show you one. Screw me over and I'll do it to you twice as hard. Call me crazy, but you really have no idea.
If it wasn't for physics and the law, hell, I'd be unstoppable.
Fear nothing. Risk everything.
Growing old is mandatory...but growing up my friends, well that is optional.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why people appear bright until you hear them speak.
With everything that you can do, the real question is what will you do?
I intend to live forever. So far, so good...
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell.
Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'
Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Forever isn't as long as it use to be.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
FINE= the real definition:
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick
i had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down. I bet you can't resist passing it on when you're done
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" Post this.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day.Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictional boyfriend Edward.Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rhymes.If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.
1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back
4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls
8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to
10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
This is a list of all the stupid warnings on the products most of us use daily.
1. Childrens Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children
2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts
3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping
4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire
5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking
6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children
9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap
12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness
13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required
14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use
15. Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: Not to be used in Children
16. On Sears hairdryer:
17. On a bag of Fritos:
18. On a bar of Dial soap:
19. On some Swann frozen dinners:
20. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
21. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
22. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
23. On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
24. On Nytol sleep aid:
25. On a string of Christmas lights:
26. On a food processor:
27. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
28. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
29. On a Swedish chainsaw:
30. On a child's Superman costume:
A Hispanic man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only Hispanic man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The Hispanic man turned around and stood up.
He then said:
"Listen Pendejo...when I was born, I was brown, "
"But you pendejo..."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
She ended up staying longer than
As she walked along under the tall elm
When she reached the alley, which was a
However, halfway down the alley she
She became uneasy and began to pray,
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
When she reached the end of the alley,
The following day, she read in the
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
She felt she could recognize the man, so
The police asked her if she would be
She agreed and immediately pointed out
When the man was told he had been
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
She asked if they would ask the man one
Diane was curious as to why he had not
When the policeman asked him, he
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.
SUPPORT THE BUNNY!
If you have ever fallen down the stairs copy this into your profile
If people think you are mentally insane copy this into your profile
If they are right copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you think everyone's out of their minds (including yourself...but that's a given), copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile
If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... Aston Martin...
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 12 hours just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever randomly burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever had a really (and I mean really) obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly stupid, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turky Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. (Lucky is just a normal leprechaun who wants his cereal)
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile
if you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile!
If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile
If you have ever slapped/punched a relative because they took something of yours, copy this into your profile
Edward can do anything, right?"
If you walk around your house talking to your self about something that happened in one of the twilight books Copy this into your profile
If when ever you are out in public and you hear something relating to Twilight you want to scream and squeal, but you don't 'cause you're in public, so you just get a goofy grin on your face. C&P
If you are in LOVE with Edward Anthony Masen Cullen copy and past this to your profile.
If you think that all other vampire stories are 'fakes' after you've read Twilight C&P
If you think the Cullen's should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile
If you spit every time you hear vile Mike Newton's name, copy and paste this into your profile
If you love everything about the Twilight series copy and past this to your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If the only thing you think about is the Twilight series copy and past this to your profile.
If you are Obsessed/Addicted to the Twilight series copy and past this to your profile.
When ever you see a shiny silver Volvo you start following it shouting "I LOVE YOU EDWARD CULLEN!" copy this to your profile.
If your in love with a fictional character (like Edward Anthony Mason Cullen) copy and paste this is you profile
"Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you." ~ Emmett Cullen
Okay, for the following jokes, i mean no offense to the blonde community. I even have a few blonde friends, and they all rock and are smart, so NO OFFENSE. I'm just posting them here because I think they are quirky and some are funny. NO OFFENSE.
This blonde is driving down an old country road when she spots another blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat.
She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief, she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while.
When she can't stand it any more, she calls out to the blonde in the field,
The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, 'Because it is an ocean of wheat.'
The blonde standing at the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field,
'It is dumb blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name.'
The blonde in the field just shrugs her shoulders and begins rowing again.
The blonde on the side of the road is beside herself and shakes her fist at the blonde in the field yelling,
Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
The first blonde said, 'These look like deer tracks,'
They argued and argued for a quite while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
One day this blonde calls her friend and says,
Her friend asks, 'What is it a puzzle of?'
The blonde says, 'From the picture on the box, it's a tiger.'
Well, the friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the pieces spread all over the table.
He studies them for a moment, then studies the box.
He turns to her and says, 'Well, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger.'
She asks, 'Oh, how come?'
He says, 'Look, never mind, let's just relax, have a cup of coffee and we'll put all these cornflakes back in the box.'
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
How do you drown a blonde?
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Why do blondes have 'TGIF' written on their shoes?
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left' so they turned around and went home.
A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.
After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies' room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, 'Welcome to the ladies' room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!'
The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, 'I think I'm the most beautiful of us three' and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.
The redhead stepped up and said, 'I think I'm the most talented of us three,' and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Jaguar in her hands.
Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, 'I think...' and was promptly sucked into the mirror.
The police department, famous for its superior canine (K-9) unit, was somewhat taken back by a recent incident.
Returning home from work a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burgled. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
2) When the elevator doors shut, reassuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
3)Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
11) Meow occasionally.
12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.
19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"
Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!
1. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
2. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
3. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
4. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
5. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
6. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
7. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
8. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
9. When you are at the cash paying, ask: "Can I have fries with that?"
TRY NOT TO CRY
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go,But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun,he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend;
That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother;I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy,
I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors;
I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest When I heard that great, big crack,I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
This poem is to remember the students of Columbine, Virginia Tech, and all the other kids who were shot in school shootings and never got to say goodbye.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
my daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
from his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Her name was Aurora
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
copy and paste this if you are against child abuse and want to kick all of the abusers butts cause you hate 'em!
I went to a party, Mom
I felt proud of myself,
I made a healthy choice,
I got into my car,
Now Im lying on the pavement,
My own bloods all around me,
Im sure the guy had no idea,
So why do people do it, Mom
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Someone should have taught him,
My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
One message: Don't drink and drive!
And that's my profile!!