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Joined 09-13-08, id: 1692540, Profile Updated: 12-05-15
Author has written 9 stories for Death Note, Vampire Knight, Twilight, Shugo Chara!, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, and Misc. Anime/Manga.

Name: Call me JC, Jake, or more likely, Thirteen

Sex: Male

Age: 1996

Interests: Manga, anime, Pokemon, Les Miserables

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Robert Frost

Nature's first green is gold

Her hardest hue to hold

Her early leafs a flower

But only so an hour

So leaf subsides to leaf

And Eden sank in grief

So dawn goes down to day

Nothing gold can stay

100 Things to do when ordering a pizza by phone
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Use CB lingo where applicable.
4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8. Answer their questions with questions.
9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST- EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets" CD.
13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
15. Stutter on the letter "p."
16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23. Change your accent every three seconds.
24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be 10.99; please pull up to the first window."
28. Rent a pizza.
29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36. Imitate the order taker's voice.
37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
39. Play a sitar in the background.
40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
42. Ask to see a menu.
43. Quote Carl Sandberg.
44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.
58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."
59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
62. Try to talk while drinking something.
63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"
64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
66. Be vague in your order.
67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.
70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.
79. Put them on hold.
80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." .Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
84. When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
85. Haggle.
86. Order a one-inch pizza.
87. Order term life insurance.
88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.
90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.
92. Engage in some serious swapping.
93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
97. Order a steamed pizza.
98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.
99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
100. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say #100. in your best pouty voice,
"Last guy let me do it."

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions (more like days)

“Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.”

"If Tylenol, Duck Tape, and a Band Aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem."

"A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman

"Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it."

"My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore."

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't following me!"

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away... he hates that."

"You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me."

"You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same"

"I'm an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject"

"They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?"

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor. - Paddy O'Dea

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet

A day without sunshine is like...night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

42.7 percent of statistics are made up on the spot.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

A clear conscience is ususally a sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

OK. . .so what's the speed of dark?

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

Eagles may soar, but bunnies don't get sucked into jet engines.

Why do psychics have to ask your name?

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an I in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

They say, Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

I know water doesn't bite What a stupid thing to say Water doesn't have to bite you You drown in it you moron -Stewie Griffin

You know, You keep saying that word, I do not think that means what you think it means. Inigo Montoya

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, You killed my father, prepare to die. Inigo Montoya

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I'm not insane... I just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Guys should be like lattes-rich, strong, and hot

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. (not advised if there is lightning)

I don't obsess I think intensely.

Be who you are and say what you feel for those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind- Dr.Suess

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. How about a 500?

If you actually know what a semi-colon is, copy and paste this into your profile.

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Collin.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug.

Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.

You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.

The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. (I apparently believe in putting vampires in incredibly awkward situations.)

Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, Where have I gone wrong? Then a voice says to me, This is going to take more than one night.

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Evening News is where they begin with Good Evening then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call a floor - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Who was the first person to say, See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then it hits me.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that.

So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

I love my computer, because my friends live in it.

I'm the person your mother warned you about.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Can't anybody who has a job go in the employees only doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say employees of this place only ?

Stop Potato Violence!!

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me

Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas

You call me crazy, I've been called worse by the voices in my head.

No I won't go to hell it has a restraining order against me

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

America's Intelligence:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(We don't get fake fake bacon. We get real fake bacon.)
On an American Flag:
Made in China
(Wow America)
At Funplex:
Paintless Paintball
(So it's...ball?)
Next to a kid's place:
Adult Movies
(Real smart)
In a Parking Lot:
Do not park in the parking lot.
(That's okay, the streets are empty.)

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:
When you rearrange the letters:

How to scare your roommate:
1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to him/her before he/she goes to class.
2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."
3. Read with a flashlight when the lights are on. Pretend to read without one when the lights are out, remarking every so often how great the book is. -
4. Get a surfboard. Put it on your bed. Stand on it, and pretend to surf for about fifteen minutes. Then, pretend to "wipe out," and fall off the bed onto the floor. Pretend you are drowning until your roommate comes over to "rescue" you.
5. Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make milkshakes every day. Then, one day, get rid of the hamster. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty cage, and tell your roommate, "I was curious."
6. Make toast for breakfast every morning, but don't plug the toaster in. Eat the plain bread, looking at the toaster angrily, and complain that the toaster doesn't know what it's doing. If your roommate suggests plugging it in, go on a tangent about fire-safety hazards.
7. Pack up all of your things and tell your roommate that you're going away to "find yourself." Leave, and come back in about ten minutes. If your roommate asks, explain that you're not a hard man to find.
8. Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell him/her something, go to another room and call him/her on the phone.
9. Every night, before you go to bed, beg your roommate for a glass of water. When he/she brings it, dump it on the floor and immediately go to sleep. If he/she ever refuses to bring you a glass of water, lie on the bed and pretend to be dying of dehydration, making annoying gagging sounds, until he/she does so.
10. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If he/she asks about it, say, "Oh, that damn hypnotist..."
11. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it. Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you again."
12. Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
13. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."
14. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you every morning.
15. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.
16. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until he/she pays the tickets.
17. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."
18. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to "fix" them.
19. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate Dying in a Car Crash," and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the Head with a Shovel." Comment often about how much you love the paintings.
20. Wear glasses, and complain that you can never see anything. Bump into walls and doors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's that?" every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing the glasses, act like you can see fine.
21. Buy a lava lamp. Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements with your face. Explain to your roommate that you have established a connection with the spirit world through the lava lamp. Tell your roommate that "Grandma said hi."
22. Keep empty jars on the shelf. Tell your roommate that this is your collection of "inert gases." Look at them often. One day, act surprised and angered, and accuse your roommate of having released one of the gases. Cover your nose and mouth and run out of the room.
23. Wear scary Halloween masks. Look in the mirror and scream hysterically for about five minutes every time you put one on.
24. Roller-skate up and down the hallway. Every time you see your roommate, crash into him/her and knock him/her down. Apologize, and say that he/she looked like "the enemy."
25. Put headphones on your roommate while he/she is sleeping, and subliminally teach him/her to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation.
26. Stick your head out the window, but forget to open it, so that your head crashes through the glass. Then say, "Silly me," open the window again, and try to stick your head through. Act like you hit your head on something.
27. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you upon sight. If he/she refuses, insist that he/she do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more."
28. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add to it, and say things like, "In a little while I'll have enough for that sailboat."
29. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.
30. Spread toothpicks all over the floor. Stare at them, acting like you're trying to read something. Tell your roommate it's a message from God, but you're not sure whether it's a warning about a loved one in danger or a recipe for really great chili.

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Brand New Ground by TheFauxMe reviews
A change of circumstances forces Blaine Anderson to attend McKinley, a school infamous for its bullying. However Sam Evans finds a unique way to help out his new friend. AU. Blam.
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Pitch Perfect - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,922 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 1/7/2015 - Published: 8/3/2013 - Lilly, Donald - Complete
Time Travel, Man by nani'anela reviews
AU: Nephilim Henry & James Winchester travel back in time to hunt down a demon who coincidentally hid in the year 2013. The adventure-loving cousins just couldn't pass up an opportunity like that- but how will their fathers react? "Sammy, something you want to tell me?" "I don't know, why don't you go first?" Based on thespywhospies tumblr gifs. I tried to do a little editing :)
Supernatural - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 57,874 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 11/18/2014 - Published: 5/10/2013 - [Dean W., Castiel] [Gabriel, Sam W.]
Vanilla Twilight by Dracophile reviews
At the anniversary of Vulcan's destruction, Jim does something crazy. Ending up in the past, he has to survive Vulcan, find a way to warn Vulcan about Nero without being committed, and all the while staying with Spock's family-and seven year old Spock!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 94,146 - Reviews: 497 - Favs: 634 - Follows: 792 - Updated: 9/2/2014 - Published: 4/18/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock
The First Time by darrenchris6 reviews
This is a series of one-shots about the many 'firsts' of Bryan and David's relationship. They can be happy, sad, angry, anything! R&R
New Normal - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,563 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 1/8/2014 - Published: 9/18/2012
The Bodyguard by MegLily reviews
I've always found Ariadne a bit dull, so I replaced her with Pythagoras. Jason becomes his bodyguard after an assassination attempt. Other than that, everything is pretty much canon! Please give it a go :)
Atlantis - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,439 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 12/18/2013 - Published: 11/22/2013 - Jason, Pythagoras
You Make Me Smile by Iamhappytojustbealive reviews
Let's say that Jacob was the youngest of the pack. He's also the shortest. The pack believes that he won't even "change". They all treat him like...well the baby. For more summary, read beginning of first chapter. Slash, may or my not MPREG. Lots of OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 28,896 - Reviews: 475 - Favs: 433 - Follows: 512 - Updated: 11/4/2013 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Jacob, Edward
Fright Fest by magneticdice reviews
The Gallaghers and Milkoviches go to Six Flags, where Ian and Mickey discover some of each other's fears. Part 5 of my "Galloween" series. (Written for ArtsyAfrodite.)
Shameless, 2011 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,259 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/26/2013 - Phillip/Lip G., Ian G., Mickey M., Mandy M. - Complete
a-s-l by magneticdice reviews
AU where Ian and Mickey meet online
Shameless, 2011 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,727 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 10/3/2013 - Published: 9/21/2013 - Phillip/Lip G., Ian G., Mickey M., Mandy M. - Complete
The Mighty Fall by riverbanksss reviews
"But I'm having breakfast with my girl." Briggs smiled. "You have a girlfriend?" Mike questioned with a little laugh. "Hey, man I'm going too." Johnny smiled. "I haven't seen her in a while, man." "Okay so who's his girl?" Mike asked. "Briggs doesn't have a girlfriend." Charlie cut in coming into the kitchen from the living room. "More like a daughter."
Graceland - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,762 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 9/22/2013 - Published: 6/22/2013 - P. Briggs, Mike W., Johnny T.
Take Care by sunshine rains reviews
Fill from a GKM prompt. Like a D/s universe only with Infantilism
Glee - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,853 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 7/25/2013 - Published: 8/2/2012 - D. Karofsky, Sebastian S.
So this is Destiny? Well, it sucks by RekkaKouyuu reviews
Jacob's life has never been easy. Why should imprinting be any different? And to complicate his life even more, trouble within the pack drives him out of his home. *THREESOME* EdwardxBellaxJacob
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 132,727 - Reviews: 610 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 7/9/2013 - Published: 3/16/2010 - Jacob, Edward
Take My Breath Away by brokenlovesong reviews
Blaine is a good boy, and he never wanted to fall in love with bad boy Kurt, but he can't help it. By mistake Kurt ends up having to take care of him after he suffers an asthma attack. After having spent hours together Kurt reveals he likes Blaine too. Now they need to figure out how to combine their so different lifestyles to be together - or if it's even possible.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 151,333 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 340 - Updated: 4/5/2013 - Published: 6/25/2012 - Blaine A., Kurt H.
The Deal by undapperthought reviews
A D/s wetting scene between sub!Blaine and his Master. warnings for D/s, desperation, watersports
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,802 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 13 - Published: 3/21/2013 - Kurt H., Blaine A. - Complete
Sick Day by Snarkymuch reviews
Sam has a fever and Dean takes care if him. This is the first installment in a series of one-shots. They are all going to be sick or hurt Sam. Sam and Dean are in an established relationship. Basically a lot of hurt/comfort fluff. Wincest.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,976 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 3/1/2013 - Published: 2/20/2013 - Dean W., Sam W.
Strawberry Creme by Gemonie03 reviews
Okay so this is total Mori/Hani PWP... but it's different... so.. Just go with the flow and have a nice day!
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,683 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/17/2013 - Hunny/Honey/Mitsukuni H., Mori/Takashi M. - Complete
Comfort Me by INMH reviews
Fill for the Les Miserables Kink Meme. AU: A Little Fall of Rain, with Enjolras and Grantaire at the barricade rather than Marius and Éponine. Warning: Major Character Death, Blood.
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,743 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/8/2013 - Enjolras, Grantaire - Complete
Hold My Heart by Xx-Erin-xX-AthrunxCagallifan reviews
GKM Fill: Blaine is a carrier who is sold by his parents when they are in need of money. He is gifted to Kurt by his buyer in order to gain favour with newly elected Congressman Hummel. M for obvious reasons, warnings for MPreg and some dub/non con. Prompt and full warnings inside.
Glee - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 149,524 - Reviews: 672 - Favs: 755 - Follows: 530 - Updated: 2/5/2013 - Published: 10/16/2012 - Blaine A., Kurt H. - Complete
Doe Eyed by strykelass reviews
Set during OOTP, Snape is 'gifted' after a transfiguration accident and Voldemort thinks he can use it to his advantage. But is it lucky that he has Dumbledore and the order to look after him? Mpreg
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 132,768 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 1/18/2013 - Published: 10/28/2011 - Severus S., Sirius B.
The Hand We're Dealt by callandra reviews
An incident on shore leave results in a forced bond between McCoy and Spock. Rated M because I'm paranoid, no smut here. Warning: If this goes the way I'm thinking it will, eventual MPREG
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 187,555 - Reviews: 378 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 12/24/2012 - Published: 2/27/2011 - L. McCoy/Bones, Spock - Complete
Never Let Him Go by ThePlatinumLotus reviews
Severus Snape and Sirius Black have never gotten along, but what happens when Black is forced to offer protection to the snarky potions master after being stalked and almost kidnapped by a vampire?Nothing can be good about that right?What happens when Sirius starts to see the vulnerable man under the mask?Slash, Lemons, some violence,attempted rape.different summary inside.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 46,544 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 323 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 12/7/2012 - Published: 8/5/2012 - Sirius B., Severus S. - Complete
Tell Me You Love Me by georges1982-96 reviews
Sam and Dean left home to escape an alcoholic father; Cas went with them to get away from his abusive siblings. They've settled into a family of their own and things are going well until Sam falls for a guy who becomes more and more controlling and violent.Cas helplessly watches the man he loves fall for a guy who hurts him, and Dean struggles to keep their family together.AU,abuse
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,547 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 10/19/2012 - Published: 9/22/2012 - Castiel, Sam W.
Born This Slave by Amory Sparkly Bat reviews
Glee Club's in a panic! The bank's foreclosing on Sam & he's about to be sent into a world of legal slavery. Kurt has a secret that MAY help him save Sam. But what will his friends think when they find out KURT's a slavemaster? Kurtofsky slave!fic
Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 146,836 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 10/12/2012 - Published: 8/19/2011 - Kurt H., D. Karofsky
Is This Seat Taken? by darrenchris6 reviews
So I have recently fallen in love with The New Normal. So this is a Bryan/David story about how they officially became a couple : R&R!
New Normal - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,782 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 10/9/2012 - Published: 9/15/2012 - Complete
Bird's Nest by Cael Hunter reviews
When Tony notices odd sounds coming from the air ducts, he's moved to investigate. Rated T for language only.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 24 - Published: 9/22/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B., Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
Baby Mine by Resonae reviews
Clint gets a face full of alien ooze, turning him into a tiny two year old. Steve and Tony may be enjoying this change a little too much. Basically a pot full of honey-fluff.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,359 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 201 - Updated: 9/12/2012 - Published: 9/6/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B., Iron Man/Tony S. - Complete
Ice Mice by Sevvie.Rose reviews
Severus Snape is found out as a spy and injured gravely. Dumbledore finds it best if he recovers at Grimmauld, but he's hiding something. What could that something be? AU. I do not own HP! Written by Sevvie.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,780 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 7/7/2012 - Published: 4/3/2012 - Severus S., Marauders
Black Lace Stockings by Deranged Black Kitten reviews
It didn't really matter to her that almost everyone saw her as a boy, because as Robin the 'Boy Wonder,' she was able to help so many people and help Batman fight the good fight. Written for YJ anon meme, features fem!Robin
Young Justice - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 37,476 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 973 - Follows: 1,057 - Updated: 6/6/2012 - Published: 2/18/2011 - Wally W./Kid Flash, Richard G./Robin
Home by smolder reviews
A bit of shameless Cobra Bubbles/David Kawena/Nani Pelekai fluff.
Lilo & Stitch - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 650 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/25/2012 - Complete
My Name is Jim Kirk by mattmetzger reviews
If Jim can't quit drinking, then he's never going to be able to fix his life and apologise for what he's done - to his boss, his colleagues, his friends, and most importantly, his ex-boyfriend. His name is Jim Kirk - and he's an alcoholic.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 62,679 - Reviews: 421 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 12/6/2011 - Published: 7/24/2011 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
HalfDemon Mates by Rikkamaru reviews
"The point is, Raven doesn't seem interested in guys because she's looking for a more submissive mate which is difficult to do in a world where men are more dominant." Well Raven's found her mate. And it's Kyd Wykkyd. Side-story to Black Cat's Eyes.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,537 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 44 - Published: 5/22/2011 - Kyd Wykkyd, Raven - Complete
The Prince and The Slave by Rini-Rose reviews
Prince Hunny is next in line for the throne and now an eligible bachelor at the age of seventeen. Mori is the best brigand in The Ouran Kingdom, that is until he snuck into the palace during the Prince's birthday party and got caught. MorixHunny YAOI
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,454 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 5/3/2011 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Mori/Takashi M., Hunny/Honey/Mitsukuni H.
Candle Light by Roses for Ophelia reviews
Enjolras reveals why he allows Grantaire to stay in the Musian, and realizes that candle flames give off light as well.
Les Miserables - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,075 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Published: 4/17/2010 - Enjolras, Grantaire - Complete
Bottle Count by Roses for Ophelia reviews
Grantaire is not sure how much he has drunk, and hallucinates, among other things, that the Greek gods have joined him in the Musain. But a certain Apollo proves just as interesting sober as drunk.
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,359 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 29 - Published: 3/26/2010 - Grantaire, Enjolras - Complete
The Principal's Office by bemj11 reviews
What had I done to deserve this? What could I have possibly done that was so horrible, so wicked, so vile, that as punishment I currently had all eight of the Cullens sitting in my office? The Cullens get sent to the principal's office. plete.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,618 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 35 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Carlisle, Jasper - Complete
Measuring Up by bemj11 reviews
When Carlisle meets Peter, and old friend of Jasper's, can he measure up to Peter's expectations of what a coven leader should be? One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,480 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 18 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Carlisle, Peter - Complete
Six Interruptions by Brynna reviews
At some point during their years together, each of the Cullen kids intrude upon one of Carlisle and Esme's intimate moments. This is a look at Carlisle and Esme's long relationship through the lens of those six interruptions.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,531 - Reviews: 658 - Favs: 963 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 12/27/2008 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

My Old Friend reviews
Snake Eyes reflection on Storm Shadow's death.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 947 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/29/2012 - Published: 11/8/2009 - Complete
Last Farewell reviews
When a person from L's past shows up, it could be Light's chance to find out L's real name but they are reluctant to work with Kira. Light could fall in love with this new enemy or they could be his end. L's little brother!
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,447 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/8/2010 - Published: 2/16/2009 - L
Eternally Black reviews
While Amu and Ikuto are at a cafe they meet someone very close to Ikuto. His boyfriend! Yaoi
Shugo Chara! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,218 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/14/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Ikuto T.
Keili: The Dead Sleep in the Wilderness
This is both my book report on Keili and my short story for it so please tell me what you think about it!
Misc. Anime/Manga - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,932 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/9/2009 - Complete
Innocence reviews
My version of L's funeral, very sad. The Whammy boys are in this so yay, but it still is sad. rated T for language.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 902 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Light Y., L - Complete
Scars Extended reviews
The extended version of Scars. This time Jasper and Emmett meet a very interesting person. A hobo, named Bob, who has a pink backpack! Just sweet brotherly love!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,689 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/28/2009 - Jasper, Emmett - Complete
Scars reviews
Just a sweet brotherly moment between two of our favorite vamps concerning Jasper's battle scars. a longer version will be put up soon but this is only a one-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Jasper, Emmett - Complete
Shiki Wants a Kitty? reviews
When Shiki and Rima are at a photo shoot for an animal shelter Shiki wants a Kitty and wont let go of the idea
Vampire Knight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 707 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/21/2009 - Senri S., Rima T. - Complete
L is a what! reviews
When two people show up and reveal a crucial fact about L, Light finds himself falling for the detective and what if L feels the same? Discontinued for now.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,016 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/21/2009 - L, Light Y.