I'm here to read and give constructive criticism! I draw...i don't write. Believe me, iv'e tried...-.-'
I mostly collect OC stories (whether they are mary sue or not) for all the tastes of the public.
Even though I almost never post because of my dasterdly scanner, here you go: My DeviantArt!
30 Things To Do In An Exam When You Know You're Going To Fail It Anyways
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
Jingle presents, Eat the pheasants, Reindeer tastes like spam. Beat the Elf, Engorge yourself, and ambush Santa’s van. Hey!
(quotes from various fav movies/tv shows)
“This is madness,”- Elizabeth
“This is politics,” -Jack PotC 3 At Worlds End
"First we had 6 symptoms that added up to nothing,now we have seven. Who's excited?"- House
"If you talk to God, you're religous. If God talks to you, you're psychotic." -House
"You have little people inside you."- House
Dr. Wilson: (over a microphone) House, this is God.
The 27 Commandments
1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.
2.Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.
3.Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4.Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5.Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6.Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8.Thou shalt not use , ;, or >:( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9.Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!
10.Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.
11.The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.
12.Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.
13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.
14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.
15.If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.
16.Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).
17.Thou shalt show and not tell.
18.Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.
19.Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art.
20.Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.
21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.
22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.
23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.
24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.
25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.
26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.
27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.