Author has written 5 stories for Digimon, and Blue Dragon.
I am a college student, and just finishing up my first year. At the same time, I'm looking for a job, and life is very, very busy for me. On top of that I've started working towards what I wanna do with my life: Animation/Video Game Design. It's very time consuming, as well as distracting.
I've visited fanfiction every now and then, but usually only to read, and a lot of my favorites I've fallen behind on, and so many I'm rereading. But I'm starting to visit some of my old content, and I feel like I've let a lot of you down. I always remind myself of the unfinished stories I've left behind and all the people who wanted me to finish them. I guess that shame was part of why I didn't want to come back, but I've decided to.
I WILL finish those I started, and I know at least 2 are due for rewrites. It'll take some time, as I have to rewatch the Digimon series in order to remember how the characters behaved and the minor plot issues.
I'm really sorry, you guys. It was so much easier to be here back when I was 12 and just found the site. But being 18, almost 19 now, you start to feel the pressure of what everyone expects and wants out of you. As well as the pressure you put on yourself. I felt like I shouldn't want to be on this site anymore, that I should grow up. I stopped writing, playing video games, and even stopped drawing. Even though that's what I want to do with my life.
Just recently I moved back home, and I've given more thought to everything I thought I knew and what everyone wanted out of me. And I finally came to a better conclusion.
IT DOESN'T MATTER
I know not to let games and anime and hobbies take over my life like society believes people who are interested in those things do. I'm going to school, I'll have a job and have a life as an adult. But on my days off, when I'm home and free to do whatever I please, I'll turn on my Playstation and DS and speedrun Kingdom Hearts and Pokemon. I'll pull out my computer and read fanfiction and draw fanart. And it helps knowing that my friends do exactly the same thing, and I'm not alone.
Now, I know you guys are wondering why I'm ranting so much and more importantly, why should you care? Mainly, this is my way of at least giving some sort of a reason to those I let down about why I had such a hard time coming back, even though it's not good enough. And secondly, it took a very long time for me to come to that conclusion. And before I did, I was so... I was a mess. I was stressed all the time and developed severe anxiety the second I graduated from high school. I lost a lot of people I loved and in the end I was nothing. I was a robot, passing through the days like I should. But I wasn't thinking about anything, and especially not about what I wanted. And that is THE most important thing to remember. And I know a lot of people go through this too, and I feel like, if I shared my experience then maybe they wouldn't let whoever (parents, friends, teachers, etc) make them feel terrible and childish for liking things that is supposed to be "for kids". Because it's not. And once I realized that, it became so much easier to get back into the swing of things. And I'm finally back to finish what I started so long ago.
Those of you who remember me, and are reading this. I, am so, so sorry. I know I can't make it up, but I'm going to finish my stories for you guys. And those of you that are new, hi, hehe, I'll try my hardest not to disappoint you newcomers, if you give me a chance. :)
That's all for now. I'll leave this up for a while, because it'll probably take people a while to realize I'm active again.
And now, I have some work to get started.