Author has written 4 stories for Maximum Ride, and Twilight.
Hey, my name for all intents and purposes is chass, and I love to read and write. I haven't written anything new in some time due to some major personal problems. I'm slowly healing, and i've just recently been able to read again, and hopefully I'll be writing soon... I'm 24, married, with amazing kids. I love to laugh, and just be with family and friends.
Books: some of my fav books are of course the Max Ride series, the Harry Potter series, and OF COURSE THERE IS TWILIGHT I AM ADDICTIED, the Fever series, The outlander series by Diana Gabaldon, (though I warn you these novels are huge, and only for mature audiences, but I highly recomend them)
OH I've found a new series, House of Night by P.C. Cast and Kristen Cast. I highly recommend them to anyone who likes the Max Ride series, and the Twilight books. They are so good, but i'm warning you if you get the first you better get all of them at once cause they all end with big cliffies.
Okay I've found a new series for anyone who is interested, its called The Mortal Instruments, just google it. I forgot the authors name. (I'm a goober) But its a great triliogy. Same general genre as Twilight, fantasy in the young adult. its about 'shadowhunters'. Check it out! There is now a prequel to this..
Tv-- I don't watch a lot of TV, like i said before I'm really a book person. I watch three shows religiously, thats it. True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Grey's Anatomy.
Someday we'll look back at this and plow into a parked car
I will not think about guys. i will not think about guys. i will not think abo- woah! a hot guy!
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
Allways forgive your enimies - nothing anoyes them so much
The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...
Join the dark side- we have chocolate chip cookies!!
IF YOU ARE ON A MAJOR SUGAR RUSH RIGHT NOW COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!
IF YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH FANG COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! ~yes i am!~
IF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES ARE MORE AWESOME THAN ANYTHING, COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
Did you know...
kissing is healthy.
bananas are good for period pain.
it's good to cry.
chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
lying is actually unhealthy.
you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
chocolate will make you feel better.
most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
a good friend never judges.
boys aren't worth your tears.
My favorite word is sarcasm
I'm the kinda girl who gets fired from the M&M factory for throwing out the Ws.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Duct tape is like the force: both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up. so so true
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
All the good guys only real in books
I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me
A friend will bail you out of jail but a best friend would be there beside you saying," we screwed up, but that was fun!!"
lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwasher liquid is made with real lemons
They sterilize needles for lethal injections
You know the indestructible black box that is used on airplanes. Why can't the whole plane be made out of that stuff?
We park in the driveway and drive on the park way
Con is the opposite of pro, so Congress the opposite of progress
Flying is SO SAFE right, then why id the airport called the TERMINAL
Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"
Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."
Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" Are you sure?
Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"
Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."
Dog food-"new and improved tasting", who tests it?
Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." Yummy...
Sleeping pills-"Warning: may cause drowsiness" CAuse thats not the desired effect..
Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" Why did I buy it again?
Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." Are you sure? Lets experiment .
RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." Really?
Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." Gasp!
Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping" But thats the only time I have to work on my hair!
On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap" And that would be how?
Some Swann frozen dinners-"Serving sugestion: Defrost" But it's just a sugestion.
Tesco's dessert (printed on bottem of the box)-"Do not turn upside down" To late! you lose!
Marks and Spencer Bread pudding: "Warning: product may be hot after heating." Wow, I would have never guessed!
Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." But wouldn't that save more time?
Boots childrens cough medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinary." We could do alot to reduce construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year old off of fork lifts.
Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children." NO dip
Christmas lights; "For indoor and outdoor use only." As opposed to outer space.
Food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Now I'm curious.
Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning: may contain nuts." But no peas?
American Airlines package of peanuts; "Instructions: open packet. Eat nuts." Someone got paid big bucks to write this one...
Swidish chainsaw:"Do not attept to stop chainsaw with hands." Raise your hand if you've tried this.
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those
who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty
15. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
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Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
i hope not to offend anyone with these, but i thought they all were hilarious...
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
OH, don't groan. You know darn well you're going to send this on to somebody
Live well, laugh hard, & love deeply!!
Okay, If all else in life fails, you've been kicked one too many times, pick up a book, or laugh even if you have to fake it, it'll help relieve the stress.
Message me if you need me.
email me at mycrazylife04 at yahoo (dot) com
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