Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.
Hello out there! I go by several different names, including my actual name. The list of nicknames that I have is pretty much endless.
I am a full time college student who also works 30 hours a week. I rarely have any spare time.
music: Paramore, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Tim McGraw, Green Day, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Jason Aldean, Lady Antebellum, Nickelback, Lady GaGa, Uncle Kracker, Ke$ha, Queen, Aerosmith, Kelly Clarkson, Fall Out Boy, Luke Bryan
books: Maximum Ride by James Patterson, West Side Story, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll, and of course Harry Potter
tv/movies: House, CSI, Pirates of the Caribbean, Spongebob Squarepants, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Chicago, Pearl Harbor, Grease, Schindler's List, Alice in Wonderland (2010), Letters to Juliet, the Harry Potter movies, Dear John, Salt, Monty Python, Grey's Anatomy, Dance Moms, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Glee, Law and Order: SVU, Transformers, Bones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Once Upon a Time, The Walking Dead
foods: poutine (fries with cheese and gravy), tacos, cantalope, grapes, strawberries, frappes, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, chicken, Nutella, cheddar and sour cream chips, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, Twix, brownies, pumpkin pie, chocolate chip banana bread, pumpkin whoopie pies, congo bars, whoopie pies, potatoes, ranch dressing, tortilla chips and hummus,
miscellaneous: the color purple, the Red Sox, shiny things, fuzzy things, traveling, DANCING, reading, watching Red Sox games, my iPod, sleeping, my cats, my friends, sequins, taking naps
If anything on my profile offends you, let me know and I will delete it.
6 Truths of Life
1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first, will try it.
3. And will discover that the first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
I apologize, I'm an idiot and I needed company.
The Soundtrack to Your Life.
Place the songs you think best...
Opening Credits: American Honey- Lady Antebellum
Waking Up: Hello World- Lady Antebellum
First Day of School: High School Never Ends- Bowling for Soup
Falling In Love: Don't Go Breaking my Heart- Queen
Being in love: Stay Here Forever- Jewel
Fighting: Tearin' Up My Heart- 'N Sync
Breaking Up: I Hate Myself for Loving You- Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
Driving: Bad to the Bone- George Thorogood
Flashback: I Go Back- Kenny Chesney
Mental Breakdown: Give Me Novacaine- Green Day
Getting Back Together: Say Hey (I Love You)- Michael Franti & Spearhead
Wedding: I'm Yours- Jason Mraz
Birth of a Child: The Best Day- Taylor Swift
Final Battle: Final Countdown- Whitesnake
Death Scene: In Color- Jamey Johnson
Funeral: 21 Guns- Green Day
Powerful Women's Motto
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...
Oh Crap, she's awake!!
20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity.
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on
and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They
Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone
has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Sex'.
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation when writing.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. With a serious face, Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'
12. Sing Along At The Opera
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play
tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't
Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name,
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking
lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'
19 Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' (my favorite).
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of
Insanity...Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
It's Called Therapy
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Quote it.
paradoxical, because every person's genes are set at conception
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there?
MY bumblebee pillow pet.
3. What is the last thing you watched on T.V.?
Last tv show Doctor Who, last tv show on tv Grey's Anatomy
4. Without looking, guess what time it is
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Doctor Who, my roommate watching Angel, and my cars.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
1 hour and 45 minutes ago, getting home from work.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
9. What are you wearing?
Clothes and my Snuggie (it's zebra print).
10. Did you dream last night?
Yes, it was a weird dream but I cannot remember it.
11. When did you last laugh?
A couple of hours ago.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Pictures, a dream catcher, a mask, notes, my work schedule, and a calendar.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
I'm watching Doctor Who, does that answer the question?
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Keeps me entertained.
15. What is the last film you saw?
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
I have all these ideas about what I would do with the money, but I really don't know unless it happens.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
End the reasons why schools have civil rights teams and gay/straight alliances.
19. Do you like to dance?
Do people need sleep?
20. George Bush:
How did he ever become president?
21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Depends on where.
22. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
So when do we learn how to fly?
"Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!"- my bff Sig.
"Everything in this room is edible, even I am edible. But that my friends is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in many societies"- Johnny Depp (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.)
"Do these hips make my pants look big?"- Sig.
"Lauren, your house is made for short people!"- Sig.
"Whoever saves one life, saves the entire world"- Itzak Stern.
"Your arm is connected to.. well I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure it's important"- Dr.House
"Fatal sounds pretty bad to me"- Dr. House
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain!"- Captain Jack Sparrow
COLD IS A RELATIVE THING
65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Maine plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Maine sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Maine drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Maine throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Maine have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Mainers close the windows.
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Maine get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
The Girl Scouts in Maine are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Maine let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Mainers get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Maine start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Maine public schools will open 2 hours late
Did I mention that I live in Maine? And that all this is true?
Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of. BOLD ones that are for what fits you:
I'M CANADIAN, so I MUST be french, live in an igloo, and live off of maple syrup and beer.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be a loser.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be racist.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.
I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress.
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass.
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual.
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I'm a TREE HUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie.
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs.
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up.
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch.
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention.
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean.
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare.
I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head.
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports.
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time.
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi.
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.
I'm ATHEIST, so I MUST hate Christians and Jews.
I'm ATHEIST, so i MUST hate the world.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I MUST be going to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, so i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER, so i MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER, so i must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK, so i must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN, so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED, so i must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM, so i MUST be a terrorist.
I'm MORMON, so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends, so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH, so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN, so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I hang out with TEENAGE DRINKERS AND SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN, so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN, so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN, so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY, so I MUST be after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN, so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be bulimic.
I DON'T listen to my parents, so I MUST be a rebel.
I can't help pointing out mistakes, so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST, so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake.
I DISAGREE with my parents, so I MUST be an ungrateful, spoiled brat.
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life, so I MUST be having problems.
I'm Scottish, so I MUST wear a kilt.
I'M MENTALLY-HANDICAPPED, so I MUST not have a chance at life.
I'm Dutch, so I MUST wear clogs.
I'm from Canada B.C, so I MUST be a huge stoner.
I HAVE TATTOO(S), so I MUST be a low class bum.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I love TO LEARN, so I MUST be boring.
I'm good with computers, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports.
I have MENTAL "ISSUES", so i MUST be psycho.
I CUT MYSELF, so I MUST be emo and want to die.
I CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S MISTAKES, so I MUST be controlling.
I'm a BEATLES FAN, so I MUST be a stoner.
I have SMALL BOOBS, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I LIVE IN MAINE, so I MUST not have running water.
I LIKE WORLD WAR II so I MUST be a Nazi.
I'm a COLLEGE STUDENT, so I MUST do nothing but party.
Unintentionally funny things that I have said
Sig asked: So, how'd it go last night?
I said: I met a smurf.
A friend asked: Where do you live?
I said: In my locker.
me: I smell cotton candy.
Mindy: I have some cotton candy perfume, want some?
me: Sure! (she sprays me) Now I want to eat myself!
my dad: Now let's see if you can do that without tripping on anything.
me: Hey! I walk into perfectly stationary objects, thank you very much!
me: Sig! Don't shrow my thoes!
Sig: Did you say 'shrow your thoes?'
me: Shut up, I meant don't throw my shoes.
my dad: Arachnids is like Eight-legged Freaks but the spiders are cute and cuddly.
me: Since when are spiders cute and cuddly?!
Sig: You know what they say about big feet?
Nate: Big socks, get your mind out of the gutter!
Sig: We could use the Nutella to paint it!
me: But that's a waste of perfectly good food!
me: Ich mag mögen night! (from German to English it translates to I don't like "to like")
me: Do you know how hard it is to find a poster of Taylor Lautner with his shirt off? In the movie he seems to never be wearing one and when you go to look for a poster of him shirtless, you can't find one!
me: I got an 81 on a test over a book that I never read!
me: This is the first assigned book that I have read since 8th grade (3 years).
Mrs. Hall (school librarian): How did you pull that off?
me: Hold still duck, I just called that goose a duck didn't I?
me: I wonder what it would feel like to jump into a pool filled with ground up zuccini.
my mom: Ew!!