Things that I hate:
Bella/Jacob love stories. Jacob is great, but he shouldn’t be her man and never should have been. He can be the best friend/brother type but nothing else. Not even a past relationship. The only good plot with Jake would be one where they have just met and his showing interest in her causes Edward to act on his feelings or lose her. Anything else just isn’t ok. This of course means that Eclipse would have been better without the stupid love triangle BS.
Stories where Edward leaves Bella or vice versa. I read New Moon and hated every part of it except the Volturi. I don’t need to read about what could happen if he never came back because really what’s the point of the series.
Breaking Dawn. While there are amazing elements of the book I hate the Jake imprint/Renesmee thing. I hate the idea of a vampire getting a human pregnant. That makes him an incubus, not a vampire. Plus I really hate the name! That was just mean and Nessie isn’t any better. What should have happened was Jake and Leah should have imprinted or at least gotten together. She had no one and they really did focus on her more than they did the other pack members. She deserved some happiness too.
Any story that has rape/abuse/incest. I read ff to get away from real world tragedies and the like. I’m not saying they shouldn’t be written or anything, I just won’t read them. I do feel that anything like that should have a warning in their summary and also in the beginning of the chapter as well to make sure a reader doesn’t walk into something they didn’t want to read.
I hate summaries that say ‘this is bad summary’ or ‘I suck at summaries’. I would be more inclined to attempt reading a story with a vague summary than if someone puts in one of these types of comments. It doesn’t look professional or like any effort was made, what makes me believe that the story would be any better. I’ve found amazing stories with stupid or crappy descriptions, but they were great stories. To get the benefit of the doubt you have to try and not cop out with excuses.
I will not read any story that doesn’t have proper grammar or capitalizations. I can’t handle sloppy writing or text speak. There’s this great thing called spell check and this things called a thesaurus. It’s similar to my rant on bad summaries. We are all humans and make grammatical errors all the time, but if I find in evey few words or sentences things that are wrong I will just stop reading. I hate it when I get too involved in wanting to rewrite the story rather than focus on the plot.
I absolutely detest any story about Edward and anyone else. I won’t read any ff where Edward isn’t with Bella. It’s just not in my ability to process. No one is perfect enough for him, but her. Unfortunately this is the one place where I find that I’m a hypocrite. I will read stories with Bella and another character (except Jake), but my criteria is specific.
In these stories there can never be a mention of an Edward at all. I can’t picture Bella not being with Edward if he’s ever been in her life. Granted there are some exceptions…I’ve read stories that are good with Bella and Jasper where Edward left her in NM and Jasper was the one to pick up the pieces, like Colliding Meteors, but it was still a stretch for me and I would have preferred if Edward NEVER came back and they stopped talking about him or if he was destroyed, but I’d like to avoid all of that and just not have him in the picture at all. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Team Edward girl 100, but every now and then there is an amazing story about Bella and someone else, but there are very few I actually like. There has only been one story about Edward and another that I like which is over on Twilighted called Kindred Spirits, but I just pretend that Theda is actually Bella so it works for me… And I only started to read that story because I thought is was about a vampire Bella…but it turned out it wasn’t and it was pretty darn good so I’ve stuck with it.
Most portrayals of Alice and Emmett. I swear just about every story out there depicts Alice as some cracked out pixie shopping addict. Yes, Alice likes fashion, but she was NEVER portrayed in the books as making Bella up all the time. There were only TWO instances where they play ‘Bella Barbie’ (and I’m actually SICK of that phrase!!) and it’s PROM and her WEDDING. Seriously, it’s not like Alice takes Bella away shopping every other day! I also, hate it when stories make Alice get her way ALL the time. No matter if Bella wants to do it or not. There is more to Alice than shopping and getting her way. Her gift shouldn’t be portrayed in a way where she manipulates to future solely for her entertainment. Sometimes is one thing, but all the time? She does have a happy persona, but look at her during the whole NM debacle and how she was in Twilight with the James thing. I really could live without reading another fic that says ‘why bother arguing with Alice, she always gets her way in the end!’ Emmett was so underrated it’s kind of sad. He’s always portrayed as a stupid jock or prankster. I think that he’s a funny guy, but did he really tease Bella and Edward that much? Does he really care about their virginities to bring it up all the time? I love the stories that make Emmett a real character with more to him than sex and jokes. Example, Femme Docs and Kevlar Knights… That’s a good Em.
I get easily frustrated with portrayals of Bella where she’s super shy and self-conscious. I cannot sympathize/empathize with a lack of self-esteem or back bone. The Twilight series was rough when she thinks that no one would like her and the whole plain jane thing, but she was confident in who she was. Stories where Bella lets people walk all over her just aren’t realistic. She may not be Rosalie hot, but that doesn’t make her any less and it pisses me off something nasty whenever she says/thinks someone is out of her league! Let’s get real here, why would someone who could ‘do better’ waste their time with her if that’s what they thought? Shouldn’t it be their decision on who they want to be with? Why can’t Bella just accept that Edward wants her and no one else? Has he ever done anything to make her believe that she’s less than him? I mean, seriously, he’s over 100 years old and passed on Rosalie and Tanya! If he wanted them he could have had them, but he didn’t. He chose Bella and she should just accept that and move on. In my experience with men they don’t appreciate having to constantly reassure a chick. It gets old and draining. Confidence is key. Besides, if a person isn’t happy with themselves there’s no way they could make anyone else happy. You gotta love you before anyone else will be able to.
Newest frustration: Bella being so clumsy she's basically retarded. There are some stories out there that could be really good until they focus so much on either her blushing or falling that it's REDICULOUS! Seriously?! Is detracts from the story and makes it less believable. How could Bella possibly function in life if all she does is 'trip over air' and blush at the drop of a hat? I'm starting to hate it all! Really people find something else to describe her or leave it out! We get it she's clumsy! We already knew that since we read the books!*
Oh I also am starting to HATE internal monalogues. Who seriously talks to themselves like they have multiple personality disorders besides those who actually have them? Even then only one personality can reside there at a time. I have never been struck dumb by a hottie before that I zone out and start talking shit to myself... I at least save it for when I'm alone to go over my fantasies. Who the hell gets so lost in their fantasies while the person is right in front of them that they come off as retarded? And who has an inner voice that has a NAME? Or an inner voice that is full of angst and insecurity? I don't think I even have an inner voice... Every once in a while it can be funny if it's spread out, but sometimes it starts to overwhelm the story when all there is is constant dialogue between the id and the ego. It starts to become crazy!
So I just started reading Harry Potter fan-fiction. I never really felt into it because I thought I loved the series as is; which is what I originally though to Twilight as well... But because of some fantastic authors on this site I've seen the errors of JKR... Not that she isn't a brilliant writer or that I don't still love HP, it's just that I've had time a perspective to analyze what I do and don't like about the series. Anyway, I frequently fic dive to find new stories that I haven't read yet that appeal to my above mentioned standards and was visiting the fictionators when they actually had a Potter-fic must read. Now I really respect those gals opinions and it was actually a Hermione/Cedric fic so I didn't mind it. The fic in question was Finding Himself by Minisinoo. I was hooked! I mean it was some of the best writing I seen in a while even professionally written works. There was such a depth to the characters that I feel that JKR didn't expand upon. From there it was purely Harry/Hermione fics. I never liked the ending of the DH. Ginny had like one month in Harry's life in 6th year where it felt like EVERY single character lost their damn minds especially Hermione! Her character wasn't really developed and I never got the feeling that they could have been anything other than siblings. Hermione and Ron was insanity. Someone please tell me where he was ever nice or even friends with Hermione? If it wasn't for Harry, number one Hermione would have been killed by the Troll in first year because Ron was a douche, and two they fight all the time and have absolutely nothing in common except for Harry. He's always insulting her and taking her for granted. He is also petty, jealous, and lazy. He's not even a loyal friend. He always abandons them when his friends need him the most and he's always saying the wrong thing. Can someone please tell me what it is about Ron that would make him a good boyfriend, let alone a good husband for Hermione? I always thought that Harry and Hermione would get together and it was a shock to me that JKR would one have him have a crush on Cho seeing as how it seemed to come from left field and then Ginny since she didn't really have much of a role after he saved her from the Chamber and being mentioned in the D.A. I'm actually surprised she was one of the people to go to the DOM... Anyway, Hermione has always stuck by Harry and played a big part in him staying alive.
Side note- Who else was disappointed in how Harry defeated Voldemort with a damn Expelliarmus? I mean even if he had the Elder wand and it didn't respond to actually kill Harry, the spell should have at least sent the wand back to Harry before he sent another curse to finish the Dark Lord off. How did a disarming spell vanquish him? Not even getting started on the insanity of a living Horcrux bugging the crap out of me...
Sooooo, outside of all that I’ve given almost anything a try as long as the author has put in the effort. Soap box OVER! :o)
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