Hi, my name is Miranda
Hobbies:Playing soccer for my high school team. Also, I absolutely love to read, otherwise why would I have a homepage on this site? I also like to occasionally cook and pretend that I'm a professional chef.
Peeves: 1)I absolutely hate a person that only cares about themselves.
Friends: I have some weird friends. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but they are just plain WEIRD. Some times I think the only reason that I actually get along withthemis because we are so much alike that it sometimes scares me to death. There's this girl I knew existed in 7thgradebut I wasn't really friends with her at the time. As 8th grade came along we got to know each other a little bit more. Then freshman year we finally became a little bit more than acquaintances but not yet friends. As the year wore on we started to become better friends and what do you know at the beginning of sophomore year we were best friends. As it turns out the girls name was Lynndsey. Now this eligible hot red head is not currently for sale because she is OBSESSED with JacobBlack. Sorry to all you boys out there. But anyway she is one exciting person (she should be with her fiery reddish-gold locks) and is one of the coolest people that I know. She doesn't care what people think about her and totally cool about my sweet but 'I'm the boss' personality. Which makes her like the ultimate friend to have. We are sooooooooo... alike that I think that we were switched at birth and she could be my twin. We look nothing alike but we have similar personalities and we like the same things. Your probably thinking that opposites attract and that our friendship wont last long but that's were you are wrong. We have enough in common that we get along but not to much that its boring.
Favorite Authors:(In no certain order) Sherrrilyn Kenyon, Charlaine Harris, Amanda Ashely, Stephenie Meyer, Christina Dodd, Cassie Edwards, Janet Evanovich, Tamora Pierce, Lynne Ewing, Michele Bardsley, Keri Arthur, Christine Feehan, Emma Holly, J.K. Rowling, Jeanette Walls, Ellen Schreiber, Anne Bishop, Holly Black, Amelia Atwter-Rhodes, Nora Roberts, Angela Knight, Laurell K. Hamilton, Allyson James, and Annette Curtis Klause
HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT RELATE TO ME; PLUS I THINK THAT THEY ARE FUNNY and on some occasion VERY serious!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your arse off.
Life is all about ass. Everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply, just being one.
What Friends Do:
Friends: Say that he wasn't good enough when he breaks up with you.
Best Friends: Call him whispering, "You're going to die in seven days."
Friends: Knock on your door and call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Best Friends: Barge in and say, "Mom! Dad! I'm home!"
Friends: Help you up when you trip.
Best Friends: Trip you again saying, "Walk much genius?"
Friends: Will bail you out of jail
Best Friends: Will be sitting next to you in the cell going, "Damn!"
Friends: Will look at you funny, but still like you
Best Friends: Will laugh with you and run around like a crazy person with you
Friends: May slip up and tell someone your secret
Good Friends: Tell their parents
Best Friends: Take it to their graves
Friends: Are with you until they meet someone better
Good Friends: Are with you until you graduate and only email every once in a while
Best Friends: Are with you always, through everything, will stick by you, comfort you, do anything for you. Best friends are for life.
(I love that one () because it is so true.)
i want the kinda guy. . .
You know you live in 2007 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7. As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
8. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
9. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
10. You were too busy to notice number five.
11. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
12. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
13. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.
The ones that are bolded are the ones that pertain to me.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
Stereotypes are WRONG! get it through your head.
Girls Don't realize these things;
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
Your One and Only Wish
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
9. If you choose...
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday
Those were the ones that I got from black wolfgirl2722, here are some jokes that didn't come from her.
Here are some jokes that I thought were HILARIOUS and I just wanted to share them with you guys!
An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver, Colorado, for being smart and funny and making her point when confronted with an angry passenger. During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F-- you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."
Sometimes, it seems like some people are just plain doomed. If you don't believe it, consider these weird deaths:
A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near Naples, Italy, in 1983. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore -- where a tree blew over and killed him.
Mike Stewart, 31, of Dallas was filming a movie in 1983 on the dangers of low-level bridges when the truck he was standing on passed under a low-level bridge -- killing him.
Walter Hallas, a 26-year-old store clerk in Leeds, England, was so afraid of dentists that in 1979 he asked a fellow worker to try to cure his toothache by punching him in the jaw. The punch caused
George Schwartz, owner of a factory in Providence, R.I., narrowly escaped death when a 1983 blast flattened his factory except for one wall. After treatment for minor injuries, he returned to the scene to search for files. The remaining wall then collapsed on him, killing him.
Depressed since he could not find a job, 42-year-old Romolo Ribollasatin his kitchen near Pisa, Italy, with a gun in his hand threatening to kill himself in 1981. His wife pleaded for him not
In 1983, a Mrs. Carson of Lake Kushaqua, N.Y., was laid out in her coffin, presumed dead of heart disease. As mourners watched, she suddenly sat up. Her daughter dropped dead of fright.
A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but lay back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he was hurt so he could collect insurance money. The car rolled forward and crushed him to death.
Surprised while burgling a house in Antwerp, Belgium, a thief fled out the back door, clambered over a nine-foot wall, dropped down and found himself in the city prison.
Only in America
Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...
Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...
Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke...
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...
Measuring the cold
Temperature in Fahrenheit:
60 Californians put on sweaters.
50 Miami residents turn on the heat.
45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concert.
40 You can see your breath.
35 Italians cars dont start.
32 Water freezes.
30 You plan your vacation in Australia.
25 Ohio water freezes.
20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless.
15 French cars don't start.
10 You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 American cars don't start.
0 Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 German cars don't start.
-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.
-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you.
-25 Too cold to think.
-30 You plan a two week hot bath.
-40 Californians disappear.
-50 Congressional hot air freezes.
-80 Hell freezes over.
-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100 Canadian buildings turn off air conditioning.
One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you." "Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."
George was broken-hearted. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Dianne said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Dianne is your half sister too, George. I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid!
He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, dad tells me the girl is my half sister." "Hehehe," his mother chuckled, shaking her head, "don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not really your father."
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:
Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself.
The main replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said "The Gold Dust Twins are coming," and I had to smile.
"Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Sloan's Liniment will reduce the swelling" and I had to grin.
"Then she placed herself under a sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I could hardly control myself.
"BUT...when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident," I laughed out loud."
(Okay I don't want anyone to get offended but I thought that this joke was absolutly hilarious. Also if you are offended tell me and I'll take it down.)
One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her.
When she asked him why, he said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you."
She said, "You can't offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything."
The cab driver then said, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job."
She said, "Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions. You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic."
Immediately the cab driver said, "Oh, yes! I'm single and I'm Catholic!"
The nun said, "Okay, pull into that alley."
The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work. Shortly afterwards, the cab driver started crying.
The nun said, "My child, what's the matter?"
He said tearfully, "Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied...I'm married and I'm Jewish!"
The nun replied, "That's okay. My name's Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party!"
URGENT PLEASE READ THIS!
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
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