Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.
I'm Kim, I'm 22 & an a UK resident. I work in one of the large & well known supermarket chains & feel as though I live there. & yes, I have abandoned my stories. This may be forever this may be temporary. I have other plot bunnies for now. So, if you were reading I Will Follow You, then I'm sorry. That was a persona story to me & one that was just too hard to write. Maybe some other time.
I Will Follow You into the Dark.So it's going to be a touchy story for me, but I have a feeling it will be rather cathartic to write. It's basically the story of a part of my life, but within a Twilight context, slightly more tragic ending. But basically, I'm doing this to air old demons.
Forks used to be my own personal hell, an unnecessary torture forced upon me every summer. But after taking permenant residence there I came to see that I was wrong, it was in fact Heaven on Earth. Or was it just that Edward made Forks more bearable? All Human, OOC, Future lemons, dark themes.
Overall story song: Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You into the Dark.
Bella's Ringtone: Paramore - Where The Lines Overlap
Green Day - Extraordinary Girl
Edward's car playlist:
The Shins - Phantom Limb
Alkaline Trio - Radio
Thrice - Red Sky
The Eton Rifles.
A fun little smutty one-shot based entirely on some serious UST between me and my old Biology teacher.
“You just kissed me, Bella Swan, that’s…that is highly inappropriate.” Brought together by The Jam? Well that's something to tell the grandkids. AH. OOC. DTE. Loosely based on my own crush on my old secondary school Biology teacher.
Story Playlist (All favourites of Dr Dixon and I):
The Jam - To Be Somebody
- The Eton Rifles
- London Underground
- In The City
- A Town Called Malice
The Undertones - Teenage Kicks
Placebo - Because I Want You
Tenacious D - Tribute
Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart
The Smiths - The Boy With a Thorn in His Side
Death Cab for Cutie - This Charming Man (prefer DCFC's version)
Green Day - Holiday
Snippets of madness from my life.
Leon: Where is the jam?
Me: What jam?
L: You don't have jam?
L: Your lack of jam disturbs me.
Me: Your face disturbs me.
L: I hate you and I'm going to eat your cat.
Jamie: Beastiality dude. Not. Fucking. Cool.
(Sitting outside at lunch, year 10 in secondary school, my friend decides to bite my arm)
Me: Dude! Use cutlery! Cannibalism is not an excuse for poor table manners.
Ali (my stepmom): Bacardi or Vodka?
Me: What's the difference?
Ali: Well one is rum...
Me: No...I know that, I was talking alcohol content, dear. Which is gunna have me on my ass quickest?
Me: Do you know how I know you're gay?
Mom: Oh please, not this again.
Me: Because that is exactly what you said to David last night.
-five minutes later-
Mom: Do you know how I know you're gay?
Me: Because gays have excellent gaydar.
Mom: I am going to cut you, and anyone that knows you will know exactly why I did it.
Ms Pavey (Philosophy teacher in college): Okay, the timer is on...I really hate so see how this is going to end.
Me: That's what she said!
Daryl: -high five-
Ms Pavey: -facepalm- I really should just never speak.
(Philosophy was mine and Daryl's time to cram as many innuendos and filthy conversations as we could. It was only a class with 4 of us, all best friends, and Pavey kicks ass. We had some funny ass times)
Mom: What is a coconut exactly...is it like a fruit or something?
Me: The clue is in the name, mom. Coconut...
Mom: -blank look-
Me: It's a nut.
Me (stroking Fiona's scarf): It's so soft! It feels like sheep.
Kim: That's because it is sheep.
Fiona: It's made out of wool, love. Y'know the stuff that comes from sheep.
Me: Fuck you guys.
Max: Marry me.
Me: Only if we can have a pet moose...and a pink squirrel...oh! and a raccoon.
Max: A pink squirrel?
Me: Yeah...when a Red and Grey squirrel mate...they have pink squirral spawn.
Max: Well how come there are no pink squirrels around?
Me: Because grey squirrels are kinky and shit, they found some snuff movies and thought 'we're gunna have us some of that'.
Max: Y'know what, I take back my proposal...let's just forget marriage and just have sex.
My Therapist - Pat: How do you feel about your mother this week?
Me: She touched me.
Pat: Be serious.
Rachel: Matt, I want babies.
Matt: How many time must I tell you, you're just not my type!
Rach: Who says you'd be the father?
Me: Oh my God! If you two had kids...they'd be the most messed up kids ever.
Matt: Yes, yes they would.
Rach: Their first word would be 'cnt'
Me: DO IT! Have sex right now!
Me (on the phone to my boss): So...I have swine flu.
Elliot: How do you know?
Me: Well...I woke up this morning with a snout, a curly tail and all I can say is oink.
Elliot: You think you're cute.
Rach: Right, we're leaving.
Matt: NO! But I haven't seen Kim in months, you can't take her now!
Me: But Rachel has a curfew.
Matt: Gimme a sec -goes, comes back with sellotape- Kim...spin for me...
(I end up binded up like a mummy)
Me: Shit, I'd be rubbish in a rape scenario. I'd be cornered in an alley and would start stripping and say "Come on then, let's get this over with."
Sally: OMFG! Did you see the new Harry Potter film.
Me: No, I saw Tom Felton in a suit. That is all. There was no film.
Sally: That was fiittttt.
Me: That man makes my ovaries sing.
Matt: This is precisely why I am gay.
Mom: I feel sick.
Me: Shit, you're pregnant.
Mom: Holy crap! Am I? Omg how did that happen.
Me: You're the one with 2 kids, you work it out. Dumbass.
(At Morrisons where I work at weekends, Jimbob hugs me in a crowded aisle)
Jimbob: Ahhh...I wish I could have sex with you.
Old lady: You make me sick.
Me: What she said.