Author has written 9 stories for Harry Potter, Naruto, and NCIS.
NOTE TO AUTHORS (OR ANYONE ELSE REALLY): I am a much better reader than I am a writer. I am also a grammar and spelling freak. Please feel free to PM me if you want a beta, or if you have just written a random story and you want second thoughts. Please!
Real Name: MYOB
I go by the Eastern Standard Time Zone
Things I like: I am a yaoi/yuri fan (slash/femslash for those of you that don't know(and if you don't know what any of that is...just...nevermind)). Pairings don't really matter all that much to me, but I definitely prefer slash to het. I absolutely adore mpreg(male pregnancy) and I read it as often as I can. I love crossovers, as long as I know both sides of the story. I like past time travel, sometimes, but not future time travel. I am not a fan of crackfics, they are just too ridiculous for me to take seriously (Yes, I know you are not supposed to take them seriously).
My TV shows are Doctor Who (The Christmas special in between seasons 3 and 4 is where I got my name), Torchwood (Yay for Captain Jack Harkness), BBC's Robin Hood, Dexter, True Blood (almost identical to twilight,but graphic, not for anyone under the age of 18), CSI:LV, CSI:Miami (Horatio's sunglasses), Roswell (only three seasons-cry-), Bleach (Manga), Prince of Tennis!, Gokusen (Anime and Live-action TV show), Death Note (until L dies)(movies are good too), and last but not least Hikaru No Go(why isn't it as easy for me to learn Go?).
My music is Savage Garden, Groovelily, Broadway, and Tokio Hotel (German is so much better). The best song that is not by any of the aforementioned bands in Xiong Shou by Lin Kuan Yin. I just learned that Matsumoto Jun, from the first season of Gokusen is in a group called Arashi, so I like them now too. My movies are The Newsies (Christian Bale as a teen), My Cousin Vinny (Best foul-mouthed comedy ever), irobot (I've seen it hundreds of times. I love Sonny), and Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Spamalot stinks)
Photography is my passion (I don't think anyone noticed, or cared, that my avatar is a statue that is near Les Sept Chutes in Quebec). I read a lot (A few years ago I was really depressed and my books kept me alive when I couldn't trust anyone else.)
Things I don't like: There are actually not many of these. I don't like when people jump to conclusions without knowing all of the facts first, or people that go out of their way to be mean to others. Yup...that's all I can think of right now.
Goal: My goal in life is to be fluent in as many languages as possible and travel the world.
Serious Quotes: "Many of those that long for immortality don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."-Susan Ertz.
"Even if you're on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there"- Arthur Godfrey
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about dancing in the rain" - idk
My motto: Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis ad capul tuum saxum immane mittam. - I have a catapult. Give me all the money or I will fling an enormous rock at your head
Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer
Funny government thing
Have a history teacher explain this-- if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Booth and Oswald were both assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, and he was with Marilyn Monroe.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage
Something that I feel should be here. Repost this if you think that labeling people is wrong. Bold are ones that pertain to me.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a tree-hugging hippie.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
.I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER, so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED, so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON, so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends, so I MUST think I'm black
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.
I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN, so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY, so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN, so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I love TO LEARN, so I MUST be boring.
I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.
I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a druggie.
I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports.
I'm NOT RELIGIOUS, so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god.
I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports.
I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends
I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool.
I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.
I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday.
I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween.
I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene.
I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self respect.
I consider myself 'NORMAL', so I MUST be boring.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
A girl and a guy
Girl: Slow down,
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No it's not,
Girl: I love
Guy: Can you
Then he had her put his
If you would do the
My name is Mary
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says it’s my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But it’s now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Mary
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great, big crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
To Every Girl:
To every girl that is SCARED to
To every girl that has been
To every girl that
To every girl who
To every girl that will spend her
To every girl who gets her heart
To every girl that would die
To every girl who would just once
To every girl that cries at night
To every girl that won't get
To every girl that
To every girl that
To every girl who
To every girl who would just
To every girl who
To every girl who lies
To every girl that
To every girl that
To every girl who shows how much
To every girl that thought
To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff
To every girl who is just
To every girl that doesn't want
To every girl who wants
To every girl that fell for all the lies
To every girl that gave her heart away
To every girl that has faith that
If you are a nice girl put this on you profile under the title : "To every girl."
If you are a guy that thinks every girl should try to think about even a few of these things repost it as "I am looking for this girl" or if u have this girl put this on you profile under the title "I have this girl"
Serious stuff over, now is the funny stuff.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, put this on your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites put this on your profile.
If you are weird and proud of it, put this on your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname title or anything else for each other, put this on your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, put this on your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and you are proud of it, put this on your profile.
If there are times you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, put this on your profile.
If you've been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, put this on your profile.
If you have run into a tree, put this on your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile
If you love yaoi/shounen-ai, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.
If you have ever stared at a Juice container because it said 'Concentrate', copy and paste this into your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.
If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen for any of these, "If you have ever," things copy and paste this into your profile.
Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, put this in your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile
If a glass door has spontaneously appeared out of nowhere... copy and paste this into your profile
If you’ve ever laughed so hard so started crying copy and paste this onto your profile
If you’ve ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you’ve ever accidentally forgotten to breath copy and paste this onto your profile.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.
If you have too much time on your hands and spend all of it on ff.net then copy and paste this onto your profile.
If English is your worst subject, AND YOU SPEAK IT, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off!
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
42.7 percent of statistics are made up on the spot.
If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer
ONLY IN AMERICA
1. Only in America ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America ...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
You Know You Live in 2009 When…
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don’t have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now you’re laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Now you’re thinking “I have to put this on my profile”
13.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did!
I got this from Frozen Wolf13
The European Commission has just announced that English will be the official
During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey vunted in ze
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
This too is from frozen Wolf13
Here's a joke...
there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...
the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...
he gets big muscles and swims across...
but almost dies 5 times...
the 2nd one prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...
he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...
but he almost dies 3 times...
the 3rd one prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...
he turns into a woman...
walks 4 yards...
and crosses the bridge
The guide to Itachi cyber style:
Heheh...Friends or BEST Friend
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
Famous Last Words:
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."-Groucho Marx
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem." -Jerry Seinfeld.
"My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden."-Eric Morecambe.
"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."-Herm Albright.
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."-Douglas Adams.
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."-WC Fields.
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."-Rodney Dangerfield.
"Have you ever noticed that anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"-George Carlin.
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "-Charlie Brown.
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." -Dave Edison.
"I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit."-Mel Brooks.
"Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?"- Anon.
"Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay…so if you keep reading, you'll go broke..."
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society- Mark Twain.
Get your facts first. And then you can distort them as much as you please- Mark Twain.
Don't let school interfere with your education- Mark Twain
Results! Why man, I have gotten a lot of results! I know several thousand things that won't work!- Thomas A. Edison.
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work- Thomas A. Edison.
A bank is a place that loans you an umbrella in fair weather, then ask for it back when it begins to rain- Robert Frost.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines- Stephen Wright.
I don't mind if you sleep in class. Only, please do not snore. You are disturbing others who are trying to sleep. - Dr. C. Rao, UW-Whitewater
'Where's your sense of adventure?' 'At home in bed where every good sense of adventure should be at 7:30 AM' -overheard in calculus class
(on a lecturer's door): The probability of finding me in this office is inversely proportional to the magnitude of your urgency.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.-a human
Teacher:"You, you and you, see me after class." - Student 2:"but I didn't do anything." - Teacher:"Well... you will" -Conversation in the best class ever with the best teacher ever.
Teacher:"You two, see me after class" - Student 3: "But what about me?" - Teacher: "You can see me after class as well" - Student 3: "Oh, okay" -Conversation in the best class ever etc...
Student: "What did you do for the ides of March?" Teacher (with a completely straight face): "I killed someone." - Same class, same teacher
Just because I don't have any friends does not mean that I'm antisocial - My Dad
Virginity is highly overrated - My Grandma (it's true, she's awesome)
I really should have gotten rid of more stuff in order to fit this, but i can't bring myself to shorten my profile. That's why it is so long in the first place.
I am 75 of a Virgin at Life. Oooooh, I’m such a goody
Start at 100 and subtract 1 for everything you've done. At the end, repost this as "I am _ of a Virgin at Life".
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 98
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 97
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 96
31. Played strip poker/darts.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 93
41. French kissed.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 89
51. Watched a person die
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 89
61. Avoided somebody.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 84
71. Got caught stealing something.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 81
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 77
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
Total: 75 virgin.
I don't update regularly AT ALL. I am trying to make a sort of rotation for the fics, but it isn't working so far. I am the slave of my muse and I update whenever I get inspired.
I also think it is only fair to warn any who might actually be reading this that as time goes on and I become more bold and confident in my writing, my stories will become darker and more, well, bold and outgoing. They will include sensitive and/or dark themes, but there will always be warnings in the summary first. So if that is not your cup o' tea, be warned.
I'm just really too busy to write right now, but I am trying my best to get things done. Please don't be mad at me!!