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Joined 10-05-08, id: 1709028, Profile Updated: 12-11-11
Author has written 5 stories for Twilight, Maximum Ride, Misc. Tv Shows, and Sonny with a Chance.

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Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, Fang gets sick. The flu, to be exact. And, of course, he has to pull a whole 'Whining Macho Prince' thing about it. Max and Dr. Martinez deal with Fang's attitude, Iggy tries to boycott Campbell's Soup, the Flock play with a blender, and...FAX! Eggy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 103,238 - Reviews: 4129 - Favs: 1,135 - Follows: 827 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 10/3/2008 - Fang, Max
St Fang's Poetry Corner by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, I got bored in Spanish class. Out of boredom, I decided to write some Fang-related poetry and other little writings. I learned one thing fo attempting this: I am no poet. At least it's kinda funny. Narrated by me and Fang! Fang: Not again...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 101,661 - Reviews: 1319 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 10/28/2012 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Fang - Complete
Twilight Chat Room by Hypnotized.By.Golden.Eyes reviews
The characters of Twilight chat about whatever they want. Why? Because they can!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 44 - Words: 56,702 - Reviews: 823 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 4/13/2011 - Published: 2/19/2009
The Ultimate Harry Potter Twilight CrossOver EVER! by Geminius reviews
Harry and Pals are fooled into wining a vacation to Forks, Washington and reunite with the Twilight gang. The following events that take place make no sense to logic or reasoning. R&R! No Flames, OOCness, Random, Crack Fic, Part 2 of 2 BEWARE IMITATORS!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 82 - Words: 59,399 - Reviews: 401 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 1/2/2011 - Published: 10/1/2009
Revenge is Sweeter by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
After a very public break up in the school parking lot that involves Bella showing her underwear to the whole school, Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan declare war. Remaining friends with the ex? So not an option...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 44,935 - Reviews: 1917 - Favs: 651 - Follows: 570 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Got to Love your Family by MRS.waitforit.STARK reviews
Pin the tail on the donkey, muffins, pink mini skirts, a fluffy teddy bear, and toothpaste. What does this have to do with the Cullens? Oh well, They still love their Family! Nessie and Jacob will be included. Bella is vampire. After BD
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,195 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/5/2010 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Emmett - Complete
If Emmett were President by comeonsugarletmeknow reviews
How Emmett would solve some of our nation's major issues if he were president. AU. A by product of boredom on a Thursday. Not to be taken seriously...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,510 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 8/11/2010 - Published: 11/13/2008 - Emmett
Emmett's 16 fun things to do in an elevator! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Emmett discovers a list so magical, he beleives it was created by unicorns! He must complete this list! 16 days, 16 fun things to do in an elevator. What could go wrong?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 31,469 - Reviews: 856 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 5/5/2010 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Well, That's a Shocker by LittleRedRidingVanz reviews
Rosalie is fed up with her family in. So she goes back to Forks, Washington to check on Bella and have a break. When she gets to Bella's house she gets a shocker from Bella
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 9,438 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 4/18/2010 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Bella, Rosalie - Complete
April Fool's with the Flock by realsunshine reviews
It's April Fool's Day, and the flock's played a prank on Max. But what will happen when she plans her revenge?
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,001 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
An IM Story by Xenexian reviews
This is a challenge for the TJC forum, set by twilighter02. Set like a IM discussion.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,919 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/18/2010 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Emmett, Rosalie
The Buddy System OF DOOM! by help-me-think-of-a-name reviews
The school counsellor decides the cullen's anti socialness is getting too wierd and prepares to inflict some pain...... In the form of a BUDDY SYSTEM! SHOCK HORROR! R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,953 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 2/17/2010 - Published: 7/6/2009
Wizards With Wings by realsunshine reviews
After finding the flock and escaping from the School, Lexa decides that their safe haven is noneother than our favorite magic school, Hogwarts! What will happen? And will they ever be caught... hmm. Set before book one, Flock is still at the School.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,649 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 1/31/2010 - OC, Iggy
88 things the Twilight movie has taught us! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Twilight? Not educational? YEAH RIGHT!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,109 - Reviews: 815 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 171 - Updated: 1/27/2010 - Published: 8/10/2009
Chat room fun by Marshies reviews
Nothing can go wrong in a chat room right?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,435 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Edward, Bella
I feel like I already know you by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Date night is ALWAYS ruined by Bella and Edward's 'Just Friends' attitude. Their friends new policy: hook up or get out. So B and E hit the singles dating website to find their "True Love". They may be surprised at who that turns out to be....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 40,906 - Reviews: 1485 - Favs: 504 - Follows: 305 - Updated: 11/22/2009 - Published: 6/16/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Emmett Cullen and the Delayed Search for Identity by Princess Bertha reviews
Could there be hidden depths to some of the less well-developed characters? A comedy adventure staring Emmett, Jasper, Jacob, Nessie, Leah and Esme. Finished at last!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,372 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/19/2009 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Emmett - Complete
The Ultimate Harry Potter Twilight CrossOver! by Geminius reviews
The Cullen's go on a vacation to London and stumble across the Harry Potter world. What happens next? Pure and total insanity. BEWARE IMITATORS! Do not own Twilight or Harry Potter, R&R! Crack Fic, Humor, Random. DONE! Part 1 of 2, PART 2 IS UP!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 101 - Words: 90,960 - Reviews: 727 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Complete
EmmettSugarVoturi Danger by WhatIsMyName13 reviews
Basically, it's my deranged scribblings about the time the Cullen boys spiked Emmetts drink while in Voltera, funny, i hope, Very OoC.... sorry
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,960 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/29/2009 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Emmett
100 Word Oneshots by team erik and mabudachi reviews
Yay
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 391 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Emmett, Rosalie
Trick Or Treat by ME LOVEY JAZZY reviews
A quick one-shot in response to Shiny Volvo Owner 20's Challenge. Emmett, Alice and Jasper decide to go trick or treating on Halloween,what kind of things to they get into along the way? The world may have never known had it not been for me!Jk! Please R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,143 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Emmett, Jasper - Complete
With A Chance of Adventure by realsunshine reviews
In the Celebrity Edition of 'The Amazing Race', can Sonny and Chad survive eachother? And even possibly find the feelings they've had for eachother all along? // Now Complete.
Sonny with a Chance - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,066 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 8/5/2009 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Chad D. C., Sonny M. - Complete
When No One's Around by realsunshine reviews
Let's just say that Chad loves that 'old time rock n roll'. One-shot.
Sonny with a Chance - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 427 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Chad D. C., Sonny M. - Complete
Vampire Squirrels! by TiffTiff6655 reviews
Carlisle has fallen in love..with a squirrel. What does the family think? How does Esme react? read to find out. horrible summary, sorry. Read and Review. No Flames please.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,196 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/24/2009 - Published: 5/17/2009
Who Won The War? by FirstMateBunny reviews
Emmett decides to erm... politely inform Jasper who won the war.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,332 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Emmett, Jasper
The Secret Life Of Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale by playthekeys reviews
Ever imagined how Alice and Rosalie lived through their vampire lives? While Edward and Bella are having their beautiful romance, what are the Cullen girls doing? Please R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,390 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 7/10/2009 - Published: 10/5/2008 - Alice, Rosalie
Emmett's Surprise! by Rockstar1127 reviews
Bella, Edward, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie throw Emmett a surprise birthday party at the BAR! Really funny! This summary is horrible but its a good story trust me!And they do WAY more stuff then just go to the bar!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,194 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/17/2009 - Published: 4/19/2009 - Emmett
Tickle Me Aro by Alyssa105 reviews
The setting is about 6 months after Breaking Dawn. Emmett gets bored, and decides to do something really funny. Warning, this is really random. Please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,155 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/13/2009 - Aro, Emmett - Complete
The Stupid Things Emmett Does by Zephyr and Bree reviews
Things Emmett Cullen should never attempt to do, but does anyway. Beware of screaming Edwards, flying dishes, singing Emmett's and pink underwear. Based off of 51 Things Emmett Cullen is Not Allowed To Do.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,890 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Emmett
The Adventures Of Emmett by nothingatlpersonal reviews
Many strange adventures that Emmett gets himself into, bringing everyone else with him. Includes the first story: Emmett and the Monkey, and more to come if I get reviews!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,204 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/2/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Emmett
Alice's Issues by secretkeeper13 reviews
Alice and Emmett are left alone. Alice has a few things she needs and Emmett's willing to help.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,679 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Alice, Emmett - Complete
Seeking the Unknown by nightdancers reviews
I abandoned the present, immersing myself in the scattered images I could see of my future. It was the only way I could survive. That distant family, my true mate... I could only wait until they were within my reach. -now complete-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 56,686 - Reviews: 475 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 1/12/2009 - Published: 8/28/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
JellO Shots by RedHeadedBelle reviews
Emmett is left behind with a teenaged Renesmee when the rest of the family goes hunting. :D short one-shot for contest.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Updated: 11/30/2008 - Published: 11/6/2008 - Emmett, Edward - Complete
Alice's Closet by Salted Top Hat reviews
What happens when Bella has an accident in Alice's insanely large closet? How will Edward find her? And after they do, how will they deal with the symptoms from her head injury?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,459 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 11/25/2008 - Published: 9/10/2008 - Bella, Edward
Cullen Counselling by ocicat reviews
Edward and Emmett need to deal with their issues. Just a bit of funny fluff that popped into my head. Please R&R. No longer a one shot...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,206 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/24/2008 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Edward, Emmett
Off the cliff again by Golden Vampire Eyes reviews
Bella is a vampire. The Cullens and her go camping on a beach. What happens when she relives the dark jump from her human life? Will a new love arise upon Bella?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 29,535 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 11/15/2008 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Emmett's dirty little secret by Golden Vampire Eyes reviews
I yelled out before Emmett could tackle me. Everyone busted out into hysterics. Esme and Carlisle just had disgusted expressions on their pale faces. Emmett turned a few shades paler.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,378 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 13 - Published: 11/13/2008 - Emmett, Edward - Complete
Surprise! by AliceCullen-Hale.1901 reviews
Alice decides to surprise Bella and hides in her closet...but what happens when Bella is not the only person that comes home?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,126 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/12/2008 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Alice, Bella
Surprise by Shiny Volvo Owner 20 reviews
Emmett,Jasper, and Alice surprise a sick Bella on Halloween.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 775 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/1/2008 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
I Kissed The Cullens by AlyssaLutz reviews
Twilight version of I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry. Enjoy :D
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 331 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/1/2008 - Edward, Emmett - Complete
Emmett Oh Emmett by XxrokkerxX reviews
this is the soul explination of why emmett is kuku for coco puffs
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 398 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/12/2008 - Emmett, Edward - Complete
Truth Or Dare Vampire Style by bella3590 reviews
Emmett wants to play Truth Or Dare. Will they take it to the top? Please review!* Chapter 16 up now!*
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 3,269 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 10/10/2008 - Published: 6/30/2008 - Emmett, Edward - Complete
Emmett Licks A Poll by Jo's Crab Shack reviews
the title explains it. WARNING: may lose IQ points if you read.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 386 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Emmett, Jasper
White and Nerdy by XLadySnowX reviews
Crack!fic. Edward, Emmett and Jasper raid Carlisle's medicine cabinet. Oh My. RnR! If you dont like Crack!fics, DONT READ. It's as simple as that. Oh, no f-l-a-m-e-s, please. :D Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,225 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Edward, Emmett - Complete
Emmett Cullen's Jug Band Christmas by Undercooked reviews
A parody of 'Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas'. C'mon, Emmet and Alice Otter? It was BEGGING to be parodied! Crack isn't a writing style, it's a way of life! T for mild language, drug use, and frequent removal of pants. Bad Carlisle!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,003 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/15/2008 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Emmett
Great Pot of Fire! by Whateveryouwantittobe reviews
So Emmett is baby sitting Bella, and she gets hungry.....*shrugs* what could possibly go wrong?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 458 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/14/2008 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
The REAL Epilogue to Breaking Dawn by Intermission reviews
This is for all of you who were not satisfied with BD and wished for a different ending. .:Edward's POV:.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,658 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Edward, Emmett - Complete
An Emmett Parody by chupacabrita reviews
YYYYaaaayyy tittle explaines it all
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Emmett - Complete
FireCrackers by spot-da-vampyre-puppi reviews
Emmett's Thoughts Brought to life before INDEPENDENNNCEEE DAAAAYYYYYY SPLODE!\\ some others.... but its ROTFLOL WORTHY! WE'VE BEEN TOLD! Hilarious first fan fic, anyone can read!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,982 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Emmett - Complete
How to Get Kicked Out of the Mall by The Real Mrz.Black reviews
Emmett got bored, and decided to see how long it would take him to get kicked out of the mall. This can not be good at all. Post Truth or Dare.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 984 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/6/2008 - Published: 7/5/2008 - Emmett
SuperEmmett! by ohxmyxria reviews
One fateful night, Bella stumbles along a Cullen Family secret no one ever wanted to know. And of course all the Cullens have to get in on it!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,659 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 9/23/2007 - Published: 6/26/2007 - Emmett - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Tale of Azrael
OC Azrael's fun with the cast.
Sonny with a Chance - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,766 - Published: 12/3/2010
Sonny With A Chance of Chad reviews
Chad and Sonny finally get each other, but they're not alone...
Sonny with a Chance - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,118 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/25/2010 - Chad D. C., Sonny M. - Complete
Always Losing, Never Winning
In a dystopian society, even the smallest of mistakes are not overlooked. When a mother of two is sent to be burned at the stake, her thoughts turn to memories of her past and the wretched people that caused her immense agony.
Misc. Tv Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 804 - Published: 11/23/2010 - Complete
Why KStew and Rpats Shouldn't be Max and Fang reviews
One Hundred reasons why Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson should not play Max and Fang in the Maximum Ride Movies.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,163 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 3/29/2010 - Fang, Iggy
The Cullens Meet Cleverbot reviews
What happens when the Cullens are introduced to Cleverbot? Well for starters they are left mad, heartbroke, crazy, sad, mortiified, annoyed, ect cetera. And most of all they are left wanting revenge!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,430 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 3/21/2010