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Joined 10-09-08, id: 1712372, Profile Updated: 02-24-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

My last name is amazing. Schmidt-Christoferson-Ferris-Lautner. :D

I love to run

My best friends are JARAL. (thts 5 different people)

Im totally in love with Taylor Lautner. He's amazing. :) I already planned on getting married to him, having three kids, and naming them Evan Richard Lautner, Scarlett Rose Lautner, and Jacob Edward Lautner. ;D

I love Twilght and New Moon and Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.

The Twilight movie was amazing. It totally sucked compared to the book but it was funny. :) You have to give it credit for tht. :)

Something in New Moon that caught my attention was something Bella said. Im not sure about the page number but she said, "Forbidden to remember, Terrified to forget. It's a hard line to walk."

"Don't let anyone tell you the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."

Daddy's Story-This came to me one day when I was looking at this book my little cousin had. Serious. I think these moments are amazing!! I thought it would be cool if Nessie wanted a bedtime story from Edward and he told her about his life with bella but not telling her it was him until the end. :D

Return to Forks-This is about the whole Cullen family and Jacob returning to Forks to attend school and work there. Bella, Edward, Nessie, and Jacob returned before but not for long. Just visits with Charlie and Sue. Now, how will returning to Forks effect Bella? Knowing mostly everyone she knew is dead? What about the surprises there? What about the "thing" Bella saw? And the boy who wants to find out what exactly the Cullens are, beacause they are so different? Read it and find out!! In-progress. :D

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Different ways to annoy Edward easily:

For his birthday give him a 100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn't eat food.

Make him watch the 'Twilight' movie.

Take his pulse and call 911 when you 'discover' he doesn't have any.

When you 'discover' he's a vampire, throw holy water on him and shout,"The power of Christ compels you!"

Challenge him to a breath holding contest and accuse him of cheating.

Watch 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' and cry hysterically screaming "No Edward!" when Cedric dies.

Refer to him as "Eddie".

Every time you take a picture of him, ask him if he'll show up when you print it out.

Before you print it out, photoshop it so he doesn't show up in it out and show it to him.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Wandering Star by Gina.N.B reviews
Renesmee is out on her own in the big bad world of vampires. Can the littlest Cullen survive alone or will she always need someone to save her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 153,076 - Reviews: 470 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 7/19/2010 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
New Moon from Edward's POV by Itaque reviews
What Edward was thinking after leaving Bella. A look into the mind of the character we unduly love. "I imagined Bella’s blushing and mortified reaction to the attention. Wrong. That was a terrible idea, that pain which was eating away, now burned my body
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 22 - Words: 44,734 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 8/7/2008 - Edward, Bella
A Slave of Love by HealingSpringWaters reviews
Edward is a slave. His master always hurts him but one day he gets sold. His new master, Charlie Swan, is just as cruel as his other one. The same day he meets his new master's dauhter, Bella, and falls head over heels for her. She loves him back... B/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 19 - Words: 39,418 - Reviews: 468 - Favs: 288 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 8/1/2009 - Published: 10/6/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Love is Blind by oh.you.fancy.huh reviews
Edward and Bella lived in a Adoption Centre all of their lives. Find out what happens when they start to have feelings for eachother, but soon realize that families are coming to adopt! R&R Better STory! A/H! Cannon Pairings!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 56,331 - Reviews: 421 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Bella, Edward
I'm lost without you by Rossie reviews
“Let’s run away,” she suggested. “Let’s take what we have and go and never look back.” Little did she know how impossible that would be. One-shot BxE AH AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,783 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Child of the Night by l'heure bleue reviews
"I'm like a Vampire," she murmured. "Because, in mere seconds, the sun could kill me." - Bella Swan is a girl living her life in fear of the light. Edward Cullen is simply a normal boy. They're worlds apart, but... "You're my sun, Edward." – ExB ALL HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 194,119 - Reviews: 9667 - Favs: 2,403 - Follows: 984 - Updated: 1/18/2009 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Mistakes Happen by Rossie reviews
Oh joy, the War Hero's were back. What was it about Edward Cullen? It was almost as if he has something to hide. Its probably nothing compared to what I've got hidden. No one will know. That'll never happen again.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 64,046 - Reviews: 253 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 1/4/2009 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Last Night by mskayla reviews
All Human. Renee is a druggie that beats Bella. Her dad turns his head because he's in love with Renee. It started when she was 14. For 3 yrs she thinks she worthless cutting herself. Can the Cullens change her outlook on life?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 47 - Words: 90,126 - Reviews: 1828 - Favs: 855 - Follows: 387 - Updated: 11/22/2008 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Goodnight Daddy by TheGirlOfManyObsessions reviews
Just a little pointless daddy/daughter fluff. Light ExB as well. RxR and enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,333 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/6/2008 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Unfamiliar touch by Rossie reviews
Bella's tragic accident leaves her memory lost up to when she was still living with Renee. Can Edward give her reason enough to stay before she fleas to Florida with Renee? check it&review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 47,319 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 11/2/2008 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Bella - Complete
An Endless Night by Rossie reviews
What was running through Edward's mind as he decided to kill himself after hearing of Bella's death? It's much better then it sounds, check it and review:D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,001 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/19/2008 - Published: 10/13/2008 - Edward
Face Down by twilight.foreverJB reviews
Bella comes to Forks before Edward and dates Mike Newton. He is abusive to her. When Edward comes is he able to save her from him. Will she be able to get over her new fear of guys and fall for Edward.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,700 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 10/7/2008 - Published: 7/24/2008
Daddy and Me by Nollie Marie reviews
Part of the "Additional Breaking Dawn Moments" collection: It's a one shot about a tender Daddy and me moment. It's from Renesmee's POV and it takes place AFTER Breaking Dawn
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,723 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 28 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Edward - Complete
Mommy's Letter by l'heure bleue reviews
It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did it. I moved on, Edward, just like you asked. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,912 - Reviews: 611 - Favs: 621 - Follows: 99 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8436 - Favs: 7,644 - Follows: 1,787 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Under Arrest by vjgm reviews
Add on to Family Therapy. Want to see what the Cullen kids did to get arrested and make Carlisle's Book of Shame? Read on! If you have not read family Therapy Cullen Style, this will not make sense.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 700 - Favs: 1,085 - Follows: 299 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Return To Forks reviews
One hundred years after Breaking Dawn, the Cullens and Jacob return to Forks to attend high school. How will it effect Bella knowing most people she knew there are dead? Full and better summary on profile. Please take a look. :D
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,504 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 2/20/2009 - Published: 12/28/2008
Daddy's Story reviews
A bedtime story by Edward for Nessie. ONESHOT! Daddy/daughter and Edward/Nessie moment. : Read and review! :D
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,271 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
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