Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
Ten things to see before you die
1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.
2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.
3. Homer say something intelligent.
4. Taxes disappear.
5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.
6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children.
7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.
8. Wrestling people forget their moves.
9. The coyote catch the road runner.
10. The reaction of the teen population if Abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'M RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be a prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. (just one, not all of my friends)
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip
Olivia: On your first night as a bachelor, you go to a grocery store? That's lame.
Elliot: A grocery store.. with strippers.
Munch: I don't wanna just rain on your parade, I wanna blow up all the floats.
Olivia: He smells expensive.
Cragen: Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I ask you to sniff the defendant.
Fin: You’re a kid, what does that look like to you?
Munch: A death trap.
Fin: You’re pathetic, that’s the coolest fort ever.
Munch: You had a dramatic childhood, eh Sherlock?
Munch: If I had kids, they'd be called Munch-kins.
Perp: Screw you!
Olivia: I can screw you harder.
Perp: Honey, I'd like some mineral water, a little ice.
Olivia: And I'd like your balls in a blender, but ain't life a bitch?
Elliot: Maybe you shouldn't have called her honey.
Olivia: What's your name? (handcuffs perp)
Perp: Screw you!
Olivia: Screw You, you are under arrested for attempted rape until we can prove the other 11.
Olivia: I atleast carry a pair of extra earrings in my purse.
Elliot: Yeah, like you carry a purse.
Olivia: That's 'cause you carry it for me.
Munch:There should be a special level of hell for this pus-sucking, gangrenous malignancy of a mental Amoeba
Cragen: Did somebody steal your parking space again?
Cragen: Since when is oral sex not sex?
Olivia: Since Bill Clinton said so.
Cragen: (examines the bullet hole in the wall map) Well, looks like he took out Tulsa. (pause) Probably unintentional.
Harris: You bitch.
Olivia: Did I strike a nerve?
Elliot: Bing bang bong-
Ryan: Please don't say that.
Fin: That's my Jew.
Fin: Where is it exactly you were shot again?
Munch: That would be in the ass. Would you like to kiss it and make it better?
Casey: (goes to a judge's home to get a signature on a search warrant, finds him playing poker with four other judges) I've had this
nightmare before, only I was naked.
Fin: Why do we always get stuck looking for the needle in the haystack?
Munch: Yeah, it's reminds me of the Easter egg hunts of my youth.
Fin: Your family's Jewish - you guys hid eggs?
Munch: No. All those mindless hours of searching.
Olivia: Who'd want to cut your penis off?
Victor Spicer: Take a number
Elliot: I think sex should be one of the best parts of life, not the worst.
Olivia: Yeah. I'm a regular monk.
Elliot: Monkette.(stares at her)
Elliot: If I die, the spot where I go down, you better make sure none of this happens to it or I'm gonna haunt you the rest of your days.
Brian: So why didn't you ever have kids? Didn't want the responsibility?
Munch: I wouldn't want to give a kid the responsibility of me.
Olivia: I sure's hell wouldn't drive to Queens to save your ass.
Elliot: Yeah, you would.
Ray Gunther: What's wrong? You jealous, sweetheart? (being handcuffed)
Elliot: (squeezes the handcuffs tighter) Not sweetheart. That's Detective Benson. All right? I want an apology from you.
Olivia: I don't need an apology from this slimebag.
Lizzie: Daddy, why does Christmas only come once a year?
Elliot: Because Santa Claus's credit cards are all maxed out.
Nick Ganzner: You close your eyes ... is that it ... to have sex?
Olivia: I have sex with my eyes wide open.
Audrey Jackson: We still have 45 minutes.
Munch: I suppose you want to hear a detailed account of my sexual history? But how're we gonna kill the remaining 44 minutes?
Audrey Jackson: Do you always deflect personal questions with jokes?
Munch: Do you always deflect jokes with personal questions?
Munch: Now I'm a pain in my own ass.
Elliot: These school cliques are like the Mafia - nobody knows nothing.
Fin: Nice dress.
Olivia: Yeah, well, it was a nice date. Where's Munch?
Fin: He rang in sick.
Olivia: He's such a hypochondriac, how many times has he had an anthrax this week?
Cragen: (walks out of his office) Nice dress.
Olivia: Don't start.
Munch: (walks in on crutches)
Fin: I can't wait to hear this.
Munch: Your sympathy is overwhelming.
Olivia: What happened to you?
Munch: Sky diving, hard landing.
Elliot: He wiped out riding his friend's Harley.
Cragen: Now the only thing he'll be riding is his desk.
Fin: You have the right to an attorney and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill ya.
Elliot: (reading a girl's text messages on a list) "'Danny is soo' ten o's 'oooo cute.'"
Casey: Oh, I've seen this movie before. It's the one with the zombies, right?
Elliot: (sigh) Psychos.. they always love comics.
Casey: (walks into a judges home, finds him playing with four other judges) I've had this nightmare before, only I was naked.
Dani: (says something about Casey throwing out the case)
Casey: Well, I guess I suck.
"The limited time I have here could not do my feelings justice. I love her immeasurably."
~Christopher Meloni on Mariska Hargitay
Olivia Benson: I sure as hell wouldn't drive all the way to Queens just to save your ass.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, you would.
Olivia Benson: (pause) OK, but only because you have a wife and kids.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah.
Elliot Stabler: Blink your lights when you get inside.
Olivia Benson: You're just gonna sit here all night until I do aren't you, you stubborn son-of-a-bitch?
Elliot Stabler: Yes, I am.
Olivia Benson: You have the sedan with you?
Elliot Stabler: Yep.
Olivia Benson: Which means that you drove all the way uptown from the Queensboro Bridge, dropped off the car, picked up the sedan, turned around, all the way back downtown to get here. That's a lot of neighborhood, my friend.
Olivia Benson: Love's a bitch.
Elliot Stabler: Tell me about it.
Olivia Benson: You know, we've been partners all these years. I don't even know your blood type.
Elliot Stabler: A-positive.
Olivia Benson: How 'bout that? Me, too. (both step into the elevator)
Elliot Stabler: (after a pause) I'd give you a kidney.
Olivia Benson: Not if I gave you mine first.
Elliot Stabler: So how'd you like working alone?
Olivia Benson: I didn't.
Mariska Hargitay: Elliot is everything that Olivia has. He is her life. He is her stability. He is her family.
Elliot Stabler: Where is she?
Dr. George Huang: I don't know
Elliot Stabler: Then tell me who does, I'll talk to them.
Dr. George Huang: I can't do that.
Elliot Stabler: Are you playing company man with me, Doctor? I'm not going to give away state secrets, I just want to make sure Liv is safe.
FBI Agent Porter: Your partner back in New York, does he find you as annoying as I do?
Olivia Benson: (smiles) We're best friends.
Olivia Benson: You hungry?
Elliot Stabler: I could go for a bite. Who's buying?
Olivia Benson: Well you are going through a divorce, and you do have four children, so I guess … you are.
Elliot Stabler: (smiles) That's what I thought.
Olivia Benson: So, are we okay?
Elliot Stabler: I just need space to disagree with you so that I don't feel like it's going to cost me our partnership.
Olivia Benson: You've never been gun-shy before.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, well, you know, things change.
Olivia Benson: Well, like you said, you're the longest relationship that I've ever had with a man. (smirks) Who else would put up with me?
(Talking to Cragen about Benson and Stabler.)
Casey Novak: I thought you said they were working it out?
Dr. George Huang: You had to choose between saving the little boy or saving Olivia.
Elliot Stabler: Yeah, but she didn't need me.
Dr. George Huang: You didn't know that.
Elliot Stabler: I wish I didn't ...
Dr. George Huang: Didn't what? Didn't ... care so much? Elliot, that's what makes you a good partner.
Olivia: (hands Elliot a cup of coffee) Morning sunshine. :)
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run my little retarded friend, run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass
I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT!
If at first you don't succeed, try walking around the brick wall.
Rosalies the prettiest.
Emmetts the strongest.
Bella is the klutziest.
Carlisle is the smartest.
Edwards the fastest.
Alice is the hyperest.
Esme is the nicest.
Renesmee is the most unique.
But ONLY Jasper can paint himself Green, sit in a corner alone while getting attacked by squirrels and STILL make you feel jealous of him.