Flameal Ashcrow
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Joined 10-16-08, id: 1718558, Profile Updated: 01-22-12
Author has written 1 story for Bleach.

Age: 19

Sex: Yes, pl- bah, bad joke. Male.

Alright so I finally decided to put something here. Apparently people do click my name and see what I have to say about myself, something about connecting with the author. People are weird.

I'm a university student who graduated high school at age 15 and enrolled at university at age 16. I'm a bit of a precocious guy, I guess. Currently employed as a High-School English teacher, teaching students about the same age as I am. Yeeeeah, awkward.

Someone said I should put a favourite quote or two here, apparently those tell a lot about you and your preferences... Are you serious? Fine, here you go:

"When the first living thing existed, I was there, waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished. I'll put the chairs on tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me when I leave."
Death, The Sandman.

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the players, (ie everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
Neil Gaiman.

“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”
— Neil Gaiman.

This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble‐sanded beaches of Santraginus Ⅴ, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand‐-to-‐hand‐ combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might have accidentally "lost.". What the strag will think is that any man that can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, ruff it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

My preferences:

Movies/videogames/books/manga/anime/fanfiction: I like every genre except tragic ones, and by tragic I mean a horrible, sad and/or disturbing ending. I dunno, it just feels like I wasted my time if after watching X go through all sorts of Y situations and it ends up with X dying/losing/having a Fate Worse Than Death. I know not everything can go as planned, but when someone creates a story with believable characters and then decides to put them through hell only to make them end in an even worse hell, I can't help but wonder why the hell you decided to create them in the first place. I know it's not like getting pregnant just for the sake of having an abortion, but it feels just as bad.

Metaphors and Analogies are my forte.

Humour and sometimes well-done romance are a favourite. When it comes to humour, I like every branch of it that isn't too politically incorrect, or just too plain lewd/unimaginative. Romance - I like realistic relationships built from the ground up. Sometimes circumstances don't let that happen for one reason or another, but then it's up to the author to make that seem natural.

I believe one of the most important things an author must be able to do is take any situation and make it either believable in its logic, or in its characters.

I play video-games. I seriously play a lot of those. I like all of them except those that would only seem fitting if played by a seven year old girl. It's not that I discriminate against those games (Like say, Barbie games, Bratz, that Olsen twins game that made me laugh so hard just by looking at the cover.), I've actually tried those out, and it lacks absolutely everything anyone could like in a video-game. Except pink, if you like that colour in copious amounts.

I read an awful lot of books, from fantasy ones like the ones about that teenage wizard with a scarred face that everyone really likes, to more realistic, mystery novels (not the paperback, smutty ones, though I have a couple of those), or detective dramas.

Before anyone asks about that very well known vampire novel that everyone either loves or hates, I'm on the fence about it. I really enjoy the idea, and I think a plot like the one it began with has massive potential. I just wish it hadn't been written by someone who had no idea what a healthy relationship was like and just how much Mary Sues suck.

Manga and Anime? I began as every kid did, watching an anime, and then somewhere along the way discovering most of that stuff is usually a comic before it's put on T.V. As many other kids, the first thing I ever put my eyes on that entered the realm of anime was Dragon Ball - the very first season. Then I watched Pokemon for quite a while before I realized it would probably outlive the Sun and gave up on it. So I moved to less mainstream ones, and discovered ludicrously amazing masterpieces like those they do over at Studio Ghibli. I really am a fan of Miyazaki's. It's nice when I find a short story, a manga with only a couple of volumes or an anime with only 12 or so episodes (I watched a romantic one recently that featured only 4 episodes, Looking Up At The Half-Moon, look it up, it was worth my time.), and find out that it's actually much better than most mainstream things... Oh god, I sound like a hipster.

Let's move onto fanfiction specifics then...

The realms that I frequent include, but are not limited to: Firefly, Harry Potter, Naruto, Lord of the Oh God so Much Yaoi Here Bring the Brain Bleach (Ahem, rings.), One Piece (Surprisingly enough, even though it's probably the most famous mainstream anime/manga, when compared to the other realms, it has very few good fics), Bleach, Dragon Ball Z, and well, pretty much any Anime/Book I'm currently hooked onto.

Yaoi/Yuri (You all know you wanted to read my opinion on it): As I said, I like believable romances. By believable I mean actually taking the characters in your fanfiction and putting them through your own plot, making sure those characters remain, well, themselves. I can't look at a blatantly heterosexual character in canon and then see a fic of said character being homosexual. Oh sure, there are those that write complete AUs or make their plots result in the character's homosexuality (I don't believe you're born a homosexual, or anything at all), but when you write a universe so separate from canon, I have to wonder: Why don't you write something original instead?

We're up to our necks in complete AUs, from modern-age Detective Noir stories that completely remove what the canon content is all about (Removing magic from Harry Potter, people. Are you freakin' serious?), to the horribly overdone High-School fics that also remove the same aforementioned content. Granted, while I know a High-School drama won't sell all that well without at least one plot element that makes it appeal to people's curiosity, that's no grounds to flood the world with what I frankly consider nonsensical tales of people who just happen to have the same name as the characters from some anime/book/video-game.

I think people does those because they can relate, a lot of the people in here is in High-School, or they just never got over their dramas from when they were. I'm sorry if I sound rude when I say this, but I don't think anyone with a modicum of common sense and decency would let themselves get tangled up in all that nonsense.

I can't relate because I hardly ever put up with people and things that don't appeal to me. I will go ridiculous lengths to avoid a situation or person I don't want to touch with a thousand-feet pole. I jumped off a speeding bus once.

Twice, actually.

Non-romantic/humorous topics: I'm alright with all of those (except over-the-top tragedy), and I really, really like action. And explosions. And original ideas (except Original Characters). And explosions.

I really like explosions and over-the-top descriptions of them and their after effects, probably including a dickjoke hidden inside a metaphor about said explosion.

Original Characters: There has only ever been one single Original Character that I have liked. I'll probably write a reference to that character at some point. I don't mind them much when OCs are put in there for the sake of the situation. But when you build most of, if not all of your story around them? That's when I sigh in disappointment and move onto the next story. It's absurdly hard to make a likeable OC, so I don't think I'll so much as try making one with an important part in plot. Besides, I already have more than enough characters to play around with as it is. I'll only include an OC when I need a random victim or easy-to-disturb bystander.

The First Guardian reviews
What if Kurosaki Ichigo was a lot more curious as a child? What if this led to him having an inquisitive mind? Just how much would this change the course of history? Let's find out, shall we? - Slightly AU. Rated M for sexual content and my dirty mouth.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 89,555 - Reviews: 550 - Favs: 1,361 - Follows: 1,324 - Updated: 4/24/2012 - Published: 10/16/2011 - Ichigo K., Rukia K.
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