Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
--The meaning of life, universe and everything is 42; the meaning of existence is Twilight--
quote from starfishgobo
Bonjour/Hola/Bonjourno/Guten Tag/Hello/Dobry den/Dzien dobry/Labas/Bongu/Szia/Hei/Sveiks/Ciao/Dober dan/olá/Goeiedag/Hej/Tere/Hey!
I LOVE Twilight! So much it's not even healthy, but hey ho.
I've recently gotten around to writing a fan fiction, I Died That Day, please read and review! Thank you soooo much to my awseome beta starfishgobo (I know right! Awse. name!) for putting up with me =) Ily x
I'm sorry to say that I am a HOPELESS updater, I am a real perfectionist, and it takes a looong time to get the chapter ready to post.
PLEASE review when you read my story! Just a word is FINE, I allow annonomous reviews! It's just nice to know what poeple think of my story.
Also, read the AMAZING StarfishGobo's fan fictions, she writes awsome on toast! Also, I'm beta/co-writing, so gogogo and reviewreviewreview! Or bad people will steal your cookies =O
Repost if you think Edward and Jake can jump in a hole and die, and Jasper can have Bella.
If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with one or all of the Cullens, but you don't really care because even though admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly, you don't wanna heal, copy and paste onto your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy & paste this into your profile (coughTwilightcough)
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Carlisle or Jasper Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you try to make up the twilight characters signatures. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day.It's crazy if you ever wonder if you think about taking a crap in their sleep, does it roll down their body? Crazy is when you go to Guitar Center and noodle on a bass, not a guitar, a bass, for half a freakin hour! Crazy is when you force the school to put you and you're friend in therapy, just for the hell of it! If you're crazy. Crazy is when you walk home from school you either have a "yes" "no" "yes" "no" war or just make random noises for half an hour with your freind, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
You know you're obsessed with Twilight if...
You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward!
You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire.
You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.
You check on the internet for twilight news at least 5 times a day to see if there's any new Twilight news.
You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight or New Moon.
When you see a box labeled "Forks" at a restaurant you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.
Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you.
You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up.
You know you live in 2009 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents mummy and daddy and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!
There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I see regular people!
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.
One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth
I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )
Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane... because well behaved g'irls never made history.
You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.h
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!
Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it
Life was so simple when boys had cooties!
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!
Elmo knows where you live!
Forever isn't as long as it use to be.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.u
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
You're intoxocated by my very presence
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!
BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
I need a walk in closet for all of my skeletons.
Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
Hold an auction.
Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
Throw a rave.
Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."j
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Hum the first seven notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"
Have a heated debate with yourself.
Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
Drum on every available surface.
Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
Propose to the other passengers.
Challenge people to duels.
Sell girl scout cookies.
Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
Shout "Food fight!"
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!
Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
Practice your kung fu.
Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
Fly a model airplane.
Play the accordion
Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home, maybe at work) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.)
Fun things to do at WalMar/ASDA!!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.
17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.
18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.
19. Start a fish-stick fight.
20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.
21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"
22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.
23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."
24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.
25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.
26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.
27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."
28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride)
29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.
30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.
31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.
32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.
33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.
34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.
35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beer pyramid