WOTCHA!

Tis I, Bunjamina, a.k.a Flossy. I'm a native of England and hail from Devon originally (well, I did spend the first six months of my life there) but am now residing in the Cotswolds. Oh joy...

For those who don't know (although to be fair, I'd have thought it was fairly obvious by now), yes, I AM insane (but only in a good way) and have an unhealthy obsession with all things Sci-fi. (SG-1, SGA, Dr Who, Torchwood, I'm looking at YOU...) Funnily enough, I wasn’t too taken with the idea behind SGA at first (“Oh noes, not a spin-off!” she cried in dismay. “Not more characters to worry about and swoon over!”) but thankfully, as soon as I watched ‘Rising’ I saw the light and was converted to the Dark Side. It’s much more fun over here anyway. (The fact that Joe Flanigan, Paul McGillion and David Hewlett are all ridiculously yummy may have helped. Not that I’m shallow or anything.)

And yes, I am EXTREMELY angry with TPTB about the cancellation. Well, I am now that I’ve gotten over the ‘tears and tantrums’ stage. GRRRRRRRR… (…makes angry growling noises and fights urge to hit something…) May they burn in hell, the heathens…

I have a few other fandoms, most of which are Sci-Fi – Red Dwarf, The X-Files (before sexy Fox left to be replaced by Creepy Terminator Man anyway), Firefly, Buffy and Angel to name but a few. Non Sci-Fi includes: CSI (yeah, all of them. So many hot guys! Woo! However, I’m ridiculously angry about Vegas killing off Warwick and then Grissom leaving. Lawrence Fishburne’s cool but every time he’s on screen I get a strange and somewhat impulsive desire to scream ‘MORPHEUS!’), NCIS, Numb3rs, Spaced, Starsky and Hutch, Black Books and Bones.

However, the wonderful world of Stargate Atlantis is the only one I’ve ever written fic for. I think I must have been inspired…

As for reviews, any and all feedback is both welcomed and adored... as long as it's positive. It's okay if you don't like what you read. It happens to us all from time to time and I really don't mind - after all, it's like my mama said: You can't please everyone, sweetheart, even if you are an evil genius. Just don't send me any hurtful or derogatory comments because:

a) it's not fair

b) it's not very mature

c) flames are bad for your health. I don't like getting burnt, so don't do it

And, last but not least and most importantly of all:

d) I happen to have an army of trained assassin badgers who have a disturbing fondness for explosives. They're blue, you know...

Seriously.

According to my many and varied sources (especially Moony, my beta), if Rodney McKay was female and British, he’d be me - or I'd be him. Only I’m slightly better with people and not allergic to citrus (but I AM hypoglycaemic strangely enough). I don’t want to kill small children or sleep with blonde Air Force Colonels/botanists/doctors either, but ‘tis semantics.

As I said before, I am in fact an evil genius and am currently plotting to take over the world using nothing more than a lemon, two pints of Newcastle Brown ale and a cuddly toy. He’s a purple lizard called Benji, if anyone’s interested, and has a partner in crime in the form of Toby, who is a little orange lizard. I think they might be second cousins or something...

(Yes, the crack is good, kids. Go on, try it. You’ll like it, I promise).

When I’m not writing utter rubbish masquerading under the delusion of actually being fanfic, I work for a teleconferencing company. I USED to work for the government (and alas, sexy Fox, I never found those pesky aliens but I’ll keep looking, I promise)... but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I’m also a musician (which explains why I’m drunk so much of the time) but decided against the impoverished artist lifestyle. For a start, I’d never be able to afford the beer, and I’m far too young to die of Syphilis. I know it’s the angsty, romantic way to go, but I’m a rebel. (And a modernist. And insane. Oh wait, I already said that…)

I am the Queen of Plot Bunnies - they all flock to me for some bizarre and as of yet unexplained reason. Still, what's mine is yours, so if you want to adopt any, let me know. They're all house trained (the ones that survived the badgers, that is) and you don't have to feed them too much.

I like to write funny stories but I'm also far too keen on writing ones in which my favourite boys get whumped! (...gibbers and rocks back and forth with insane glee...) If you listen carefully, you might just hear them running away, screaming as they go... (hee hee hee!)

So, moving very swiftly onwards then. If any of you want to write sequels, missing scenes or tags to any of my tales, please do so! I’m also okay with referencing – just give me a shout to let me know. Although to be fair, if you just wanna write an improved/Slash/AU version then that too is okay by me. (Whatever floats your proverbial boat, people.) As long as you credit me and my original in your notes, you can do pretty much anything you want.

I freely admit to having a bit of a thing for McKay whumping – and for reasons that are probably better left unknown, I happen to be pretty good at it. I’m actually surprised that he isn’t a gibbering wreck by now, but it’s his own fault for being far too damn cute and an easy target. (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it). Anyways, just to prove that I can play nice and therefore get into the ‘equal opportunity’ class, Shep gets whumped on occasion too.

(Can I have my gold star now, please? Pretty please? I’ll be extra mean to John, I promise…)

I blame my rather terrifying tastes on my muses, the darned harpies that they are. Oh... uh, wait, I mean, uh... amazing, talented... wait, wait, wait! Did I say harpies?! What I really meant was... um... oh hell... no, please don't hit me with that big stick...

MAY 2013:

Cue epic drum roll...

I'm BAAAACK!

Ridiculously long hiatus but at last, some new stories for y'all to enjoy! :D Shiny.