PALC
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Joined 10-18-08, id: 1719812, Profile Updated: 05-19-12
Author has written 11 stories for Naruto, and Vampire Knight.

PALC here.

A masochist, sadist, murderer, pyromaniac, zoophile, and necrophiliac were all sitting on a bench together bored out of their minds. To break the silence the zoophile spoke up, "Let's have sex with a cat." He suggested. The sadist spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it." The murderer spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, then kill it." The necrophiliac got excited and spoke. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, then have sex with it again." The pyromaniac spoke next, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, then burn it." They all fell quiet. The masochist then sheepishly smiled at them and said, "Meow."

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"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance than baffle them with bullshit."

"Renji’s scheduled to transfer out of the eleventh to join the sixth as a vice-captain very soon, and Zaraki just can’t respect a guy who wants to work for the owner of the fruitiest bankai out of all the bankais to ever bankai in the history of bankai-dom."

"I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you."

"No matter how weird the pieces of the puzzle are they always fit together."

"They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well I personally think the guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill too many people."

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I am realistic - I expect miracles.

"Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you're it."

"My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore."

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't following me!"

"You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me."

"When God gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD!!"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car."

"I am not crazy! You know what! The voices don't like you anymore!"

"Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough."

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die in the end.

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A train station is where the train stops. A bus stop is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once.

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Kaishiro15, from deviantART, has drawn me a cute sketch of a scene from Foudroyant!

All you have to do is click the link above. If it works correctly (please work!) then it should take you directly there. Please check it out and leave her AWESOME comments!!

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Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ephemeral Time by Mystical Magician reviews
With nothing left to lose, Harry sends himself as far back into the past as his death will allow him. Tom Riddle is easy enough to take care of, but there are more threats than just the teenage Dark Lord. HP/AD slash. Time Travel
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 66,001 - Reviews: 1005 - Favs: 1,750 - Follows: 2,268 - Updated: 12/22/2013 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Harry P., Albus D.
Those Who Dream by Winds of Water reviews
And Alphonse thought that he knew everything there was about souls after spending time as a suit of armor. Scar/Al.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 77,628 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 4/9/2012 - Published: 10/14/2009 - Alphonse E., Scar
Veritas by TheProblematique reviews
Captain James T. Kirk and Lieutenant Commander Spock are hereby charged with negligence and wanton misconduct due to their emotional compromise with each other.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 186,080 - Reviews: 2893 - Favs: 2,049 - Follows: 1,005 - Updated: 1/21/2012 - Published: 7/23/2010 - J. Kirk, Spock - Complete
Tensions by zephtastic reviews
SLASH: Tallahassee/Columbus. Basically details the ups and downs of their merry band of misfits as Tallahassee and Columbus' relationship takes a new turn.
Zombieland - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,962 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 4/14/2011 - Published: 10/16/2009 - Columbus, Tallahassee
Morning Shows The Day by AvocadoLove reviews
One moment ten-year-old Umino Iruka is pulling his most daring prank, and the next he's in the middle of a bloody battlefield. What is going on, and who is this strange masked boy with him?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,824 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 2/2/2011 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete
The Link Between Us by PromistDream reviews
Not all plans are set in stone. Most are subject to change and unless the planners adapt, all will be lost. When Minato summons the Shinigami to seal the Kyuubi into Naruto, his plan goes to Hell. Yaoi KakaNaru Very mature themes - Collab with PALC
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,085 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 8/20/2010 - Naruto U., Kakashi H.
Oblivious by Winds of Water reviews
Roy and Hohenheim have a short chat about Edward, and Roy decides to act on some good advice about his oblivious intended lover.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,585 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/7/2010 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Original Sin by ShiruyTheSecond reviews
AU/Yaoi/Lemon- Naruto is sick of wanting something he supposedly can't have and Minato finds himself unable to refuse. Now if only things would stay that simple. Mina/Naru, one-sided Sasu/Naru. Despite attempts at rewriting now DISCONTINUED!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 48,808 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 470 - Follows: 366 - Updated: 6/2/2010 - Published: 5/9/2008 - Naruto U., Minato N. - Complete
The Limit to Enjoying the Little Things by e.vermillion reviews
During one of their numerous Twinkie-raids, Columbus makes a decision that lands him in hot water with Tallahassee. Question is... why? slash T/C, two-part. Rated T for language, gore, and potentially sexual content! Rating may go up for last chapter.
Zombieland - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,966 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 87 - Published: 3/8/2010 - Columbus, Tallahassee
Ramen Budget by S.Warfield reviews
Six year old Naruto has his priorities straight: There is nothing in this world more important than his ramen budget. His guardian, Jiraiya, needs to be reminded of this fact every once in a while by hitting him where it hurts the most...in his pants.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,574 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 26 - Published: 1/19/2010 - Naruto U., Jiraiya - Complete
Remember Mortality by romantiscue reviews
WARNING: THIS STORY WILL BE REMOVED IN MAY 2014! I wrote it more for my readers than myself, which led to the inclusion of a lot of things I wasn't really into. Like the vampire thing, the romance, the inheritance, etc... It was my first posted fic, though. Three cheers for a crappy first try!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 47,338 - Reviews: 449 - Favs: 594 - Follows: 779 - Updated: 11/25/2009 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Harry P.
Training Edward Elric by ZaKai reviews
When an opportunity arises for Ed to get the information he needs to get Al his body back, will he take it even if it means submitting to Roy? Rated for: language, torture, angst, and some mature scenes later in the story.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 54,975 - Reviews: 844 - Favs: 424 - Follows: 551 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 8/8/2006 - Roy M., Edward E.
Wrestling by Midnyte Wolf reviews
Team 7 find Kakashi and Iruka in an undeniable position. Too bad Naruto's clueless... YAOI! Kakashi x Iruka
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,689 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 23 - Published: 2/26/2006 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Foudroyant reviews
He knew English 12 wasn't exactly a fun class, but that didn't mean the boy had to sit in the back and swirl his tantalizing pink tongue around his pencil tip all period. MinatoXNaruto INCEST. Teacher/Student RS Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,740 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 4/4/2011 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Minato N., Naruto U.
My Bijou, My Jewel reviews
When Kakashi witnesses a strange scene between Iruka and Naruto it leaves him wondering just how deep their relationship really is. Call him curious but it just wouldn't leave him alone. IrukaXNaruto Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,816 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 4/3/2011 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Iruka U., Naruto U.
The Other Way Around reviews
Kakashi was being stalked by a student... but that was understandable. As one of the younger teachers at Konoha High, students weren't used to anything under 40 trying to educate them. Yaoi KakashiXNaruto
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,070 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 4/2/2011 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Kakashi H., Naruto U.
Fire in the Kitchen reviews
So Minato can't cook. How is he to blame? He was hungry, but maybe he's hungry for something- rather, someone else now? Minato X Naruto Incest. Yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,418 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 36 - Published: 11/23/2010 - Naruto U., Minato N. - Complete
Listening reviews
At night I fantasize about you. Is that so wrong...? It is when you hear it. MinatoXNaruto Yaoi. Incest.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,688 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 10/9/2010 - Published: 8/20/2010 - Naruto U., Minato N. - Complete
Prospects reviews
It was a mission gone wrong, something you think Kakashi would be used to by now. It also wasn't something he would change for the world... KakashiXNaruto Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,448 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 20 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Kakashi H., Naruto U. - Complete
Line of Duty reviews
It was all to save face. To save Yuuki... Okay, who was he kidding? He wasn't sure what this was anymore. ZeroXxXKaname Yaoi Two-shot.
Vampire Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,516 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/13/2010 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Kaname, Zero - Complete
Winter Chills reviews
Naruto drives out into a potential snowstorm. A stranger wandering the forest meets our blonde on the way. Fluff that is sweet yet minty. Did he mention it was cold as balls out? NarutoXSasuke Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,542 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
When Blossoms Die reviews
No one can buy love, but you can buy freedom. When Lee makes a ridiculous deal with Hiashi to buy Neji's freedom, will the Hyuuga keep their end of the bargain? Lee, when did your love for Sakura die? Lee/Neji Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,009 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/6/2010 - Neji H., Lee R.
The Heat reviews
It's hot as hell in Konoha and Naruto needs to cool off. But he only ended up doing the exact opposite. NarutoXNarutoXKakashi Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,503 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 5/2/2010 - Published: 4/26/2010 - Kakashi H., Naruto U. - Complete
Clone reviews
Naruto takes something Gaara said a little too literally. NarutoXNaruto Yaoi. Questionable usage of shadow clones.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,849 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 20 - Published: 6/10/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete