CuttlefishRock
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Joined 10-22-08, id: 1722790, Profile Updated: 01-18-15
Author has written 14 stories for Twilight, Harry Potter, Sherlock, Avengers, and Hunger Games.

Johnsonnnnnnnn

21, 5'6", British, green eyes, red hair, bi, a little bit taken.

I'm vegetarian, and I work as a chef. I detest it, but mostly because of my boss.I do like it at times, though, as we essentially play with knives all day, like pirates. We also try and throw petit pois into the saturday workers' ears. I used to have a gorgeous motorbike named Joey, who I adored, but crashed too frequently to keep. I now have an old Honda Civic, named Marlin. I smoke a lot, drink a lot, read a lot, write not as much as I'd like to, and listen to a lot of music. I sleep very little, and I have a bad knee, and I once chopped the tip of my little finger off with a knife. I often go out drinking with only a tenner, coz I'm a hopeful bastard.

Things I love:

My guinea pigs. Parsnip and Butterbean are adopted indoor ladies, who I dote upon. They are my life.

Books: Tithe. Lord of the Rings. Sherlock Holmes. Fight Club. Harry Potter. One Day. Kitchen Confidential. Alice In Wonderland. Dorian Gray. Dracula. Vampire of the Mists. Interview with the Vampire. The Reformed Vampire Support Group. Limitless. Chocolat. Big Fish. Time Traveller's Wife. The Hunger Games. Starter For 10. Mortal Instruments. Infernal Devices. Game of Thrones. Bridget Jones.

Films&TV: Sherlock. Fight Club. Lord of the Rings. Sherlock Holmes. Pirates of the Caribbean. Life On Mars. Smurfs. The Hangover. Pineapple Express. Being Human. The Boat That Rocked. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Big Fish. The A Team. Bad Boys 2. Shaun of the Dead. Hot Fuzz. Cool Runnings. Sweeney Todd. Once Upon A Time In Mexico. X-Men. Batman. Avengers. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. Harry Potter. Inbetweeners. Game of Thrones. Shakespeare ReTold. Mrs Brown's Boys. Scrubs. Friends. How To Train Your Dragon.

Music: Kings of Leon. 100 Monkeys. Muse. The Vaccines. The Killers. Bob Marley. My Chemical Romance. The Rolling Stones. Example. Eminem. The White Stripes. The Sex Pistols. Blink-182. 30 Seconds To Mars. Calvin Harris. David Gray. Leatherat. AC/DC. Queen. Bowie. Arctic Monkeys. Biffy Clyro. Twin Atlantic. Ed Sheeran. Elvis. Fall Out Boy. Johnny Cash. Joni Mitchell. Kasabian. Kinks. Mumford and Sons. George Ezra. Vampire Weekend.

Food and Drink: Jack Daniels. Sailor Jerrys. Newcastle Brown Ale. Red Wine. Coffee. Tea. Chai tea. Peppermint tea. Kiwis. Bulmers Black Cherry Cider. Mushrooms. Pasta. Coconut rice. Mangoes. Vegetable chilli.

Animals: Hedgehogs. Owls. Ferrets. Hamsters. Dogs. Chinchillas. Rats. Rabbits. Guinea Pigs.

Tattoos: Biffy Clyro lyrics (right shoulder). Joni Mitchell lyrics (left shoulder). Northumbrian flag (right shoulder). Parsnip the guinea pig (right calf). Butterbean (left calf). Pansy (right thigh).

Ciao.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tropic of Virgo by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 150,800 - Reviews: 20124 - Favs: 13,022 - Follows: 5,420 - Updated: 9/9/2013 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Complete
Annie's Story by TheWallsWeBreakThrough reviews
"A bitter taste settles in my mouth. Of course Finnick has no faith in me, of course there's no chance I'll win this..." The story of Annie Cresta, Finnick Odair and the 70th Hunger Games. COMPLETE WITH BONUS CHAPTER
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 106,167 - Reviews: 393 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 12/10/2012 - Published: 4/10/2012 - Finnick O., Annie C. - Complete
Marauders, Mischief, and Mayhem by Shira Lansys reviews
A collection of drabbles that are exactly a hundred words long, based around our favourite group of loveable pranksters. Some drabbles contain slash of the RemusSirius variety. RLSB, MWPP, Marauder's Era. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 110 - Words: 10,811 - Reviews: 753 - Favs: 266 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 12/6/2012 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Time is a Fine Invention by thisbluepeony reviews
Modern Day AU: Sirius Black expected university to be simple; a medley of moonlight trysts and Good Times. What he didn't expect was the yearning for home, the strains on his friendships, or falling for the hot-tempered History student Remus Lupin.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 113,860 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 11/19/2012 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Finest in Fairford by thisbluepeony reviews
Remus Lupin's job in a Fairford coffee shop is always uneventful, until an exotic new customer begins leaving messages with his tips.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,264 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/15/2012 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
No Expectations by thisbluepeony reviews
Remus Lupin is a little-known music journalist working on a little-known music magazine. Blue Stag are his next Big Project - well, his first anyway.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 98,436 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/3/2012 - Published: 3/12/2012 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Silver and Bullets by that1girl2 reviews
:: Something breaks between Remus and Sirius in their 5th year... but during the summer, something happens to Remus that changes everything... :: Hurt/Comfort/Romance :: Marauder Adventure plot-twist ::
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 122,008 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 4/29/2011 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
The Pursuit to Slow Realisation by Children of the Shadows reviews
Remus has always had bad taste in men and he tops the polls when he starts to find Sirius Black attractive. Sirius is pompous, loud, plays horrible pranks and is ridiculously flirtatious. Worst of all, he is Remus's best friend. Muggle AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 31,628 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 2/12/2012 - Published: 1/29/2012 - [Sirius B., Remus L.] - Complete
The wonder that's keeping the stars apart by dustandmonsters reviews
"What had Sirius done to deserve him, this beautiful, sensible, secure man who loved him, who held him and chased his bad dreams away..." - Wolfstar post-POA. A little angsty, a little fluffy, a little sad.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,344 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/27/2011 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Ever Fall In Love by M3535 reviews
Remus' heart is broken. Sirius wants him to be happy again. He discovers that his feelings for his fellow Marauder stick a lot deeper than just friendly concern. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 27 - Words: 55,862 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 11/25/2011 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Slughorn's Sanitarium for Troubled Boys by MelloPie reviews
AU - Rated M for later chapters. Sirius is sent to a mental institution after the ultimate prank on his parents fails. Here he meets Remus, a strange boy accused of murder. Can Sirius solve the mystery and save Lupin's life? And will Remus let him?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 65,124 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 11/22/2011 - Published: 9/23/2011 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Chasing Love by Children of the Shadows reviews
Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're cemented for life. Remus suffers from issues of sexy, Sirius from general melodrama, James from best friend withdrawals, and nothing says disowned like meeting your boyfriend's very gay parents.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 36,584 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 11/2/2011 - Published: 3/1/2011 - [Sirius B., Remus L.] - Complete
A Slight Misunderstanding by Coragyps reviews
In which I, John Watson, manage to accidentally convince my flatmate I'm in love with him.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 37,392 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 602 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 8/16/2011 - Published: 4/18/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Scylla and Charybdis by puellanerdii reviews
Finnick's determined to bring Annie Cresta home from the 70th Hunger Games. But never thought he'd have to choose between keeping her and keeping her safe - and he wants both. How Annie Cresta crept up on Finnick Odair.
Hunger Games - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 64,740 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 4/11/2011 - Published: 1/18/2011 - Finnick O., Annie C. - Complete
We Hope You Enjoy Your Stay by Medea Smyke reviews
Saving Annie from the Quarter Quell didn't save her from the even larger threat of the Capitol. Heavensbee ordered her for her retrieval, but is rescue ever that easy? FinnickXAnnie. AU, written Pre-MJ release.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 52,814 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 3/3/2011 - Published: 6/3/2010 - Finnick O., Annie C. - Complete
A Study in Rum by Nytd reviews
One wicked and clever pirate. One singular and brilliant detective. One hundred and fifty years apart. An impossible meeting? Perhaps just improbable... Crossover with Pirates of the Caribbean.
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 54,629 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 10/2/2010 - Published: 6/29/2010 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not by Children of the Shadows reviews
'Do you believe in love at fifty-second sight? The moment I saw you, I can't explain it.I kept watching and watching and watching, until I realised I'd been watching for over a month and I can't stop.' RS
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,313 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 267 - Follows: 15 - Published: 12/5/2009 - [Remus L., Sirius B.] - Complete
Muse by remuslives23 reviews
Remus is a struggling artist who loses his confidence after a car accident. He goes back to basics to try and rediscover his talent and meets a man who inspires him both professionally and personally. AU. Slash. RL/SB
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 19 - Words: 58,693 - Reviews: 1014 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 8/31/2009 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Dating Remus Lupin by Children of the Shadows reviews
Remus Lupin is a mystery to the whole school; the boy who's quiet, aloof, and cold. He also happens to be queer, which is enough to gain Sirius's interest. What Sirius never realised that dating Remus Lupin wasn't quite as easy as it looked. R/S
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 90,515 - Reviews: 997 - Favs: 1,139 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 5/20/2009 - Published: 7/12/2008 - [Sirius B., Remus L.] - Complete
Boy Meets Girl by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Complete. They met each other on a subway. She was still wearing the bracelet from the hospital. He still had track marks from the night before. My answer to a challenge. No character deaths or abuse. All human. Alice and Jasper
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,156 - Reviews: 945 - Favs: 591 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Lady Stardust by WhatWldMrsWeasleyDo reviews
Sleaze, then angst, then sweetness. Remus is drawn to Sirius' brother when the Marauders go to watch Regulus and his band. Remus/Regulus. Eventual Remus/Sirius. Boylove including smut. Inspired by David Bowie's song on 'Ziggy Stardust'.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,862 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/8/2009 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Remus L., Regulus B. - Complete
Fallen Angel by Crazy4Moony reviews
Remus only loves art when Sirius' body is the canvas. The way ancient words run down his arm, and how old signs are posed on his hip. Though he loves Sirius' wings the most--there is no way telling whether they've been there forever, or were there never.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,673 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/19/2008 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Avengers: Las Vegas reviews
It's Thor's bachelor party so Tony, Bruce and Clint take him to Las Vegas to celebrate. Of course, nothing goes quite to plan, and when Steve shows up with some bad news, it gets even worse. Loosely follows the plot of The Hangover, but Avengers-style. T for language, violence and some sexual content.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,659 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 3/25 - Published: 1/18 - Black Widow/Natasha R., Iron Man/Tony S., Thor, Hawkeye/Clint B.
Love, Lettuce and Locke's Single Malt reviews
Lily comes to work at Peter's restaurant, Herbology, under the enigmatic head chef Remus Lupin. A tale of Love, Lettuce and Locke's Single Malt. RLxSB JPxLE *For Sparkling Soul*
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 23,440 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 8/15/2012 - Published: 2/9/2012 - Remus L., Sirius B.
What A Lonely Girl reviews
"People whispered, for they didn't understand. They thought she had just turned mad, this poor, sweet girl. She wasn't mad, just troubled, but the whispers grew louder, until she began to believe it herself."
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,100 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/3/2012 - Annie C., Finnick O. - Complete
The Mormfongs reviews
Following the Marauders from First Year through to Seventh. Canon, with some quirks of my own inventions.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 29,716 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 7/3/2012 - Published: 12/29/2011 - Sirius B., Remus L.
Zen reviews
One way to think of zen is this: a total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind. Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind. Zen involves dropping illusion and seeing things without distortion created by your own thoughts.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,072 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/3/2012 - Hawkeye/Clint B., Black Widow/Natasha R. - Complete
Dark Things reviews
Remus invites Sirius to try something new and deliciously dark. SiriusxRemusxRegulus
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,432 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/29/2012 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
The Brothers Black reviews
Detailing the deaths of Regulus and Sirius Black, and their reunion afterwards.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,056 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/27/2011 - Regulus B., Sirius B. - Complete
Four Varieties Of Mustard reviews
Unfortunately, there are no cases available, and Sherlock is being a rather high-maintenance -but ultimately marvellous- flat-mate... Written for Lauren xxx
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,539 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 9/22/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Pawprints In The Dungeons reviews
Remus gets trapped in the Slytherin common room on the night of the full moon. Can Sirius enlist Regulus's help to get him out before it all ends in disaster?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,020 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/11/2011 - Sirius B., Regulus B. - Complete
Anger reviews
One-shot describing Sirius's reaction to his Uncle's death.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 715 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/23/2011 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Understandably Questionable Circumstances reviews
An account of why Sirius was found in bed with his best friend's heavily pregnant wife one morning by his lover and his best friend in completely innocent, but understandably questionable circumstances. JPxLE SBxRL
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,794 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 11/20/2011 - Published: 9/14/2011 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
The People In Question reviews
Jasper and Bella have been lifelong friends. He's a rebel, she's the one he enjoys corrupting. One day in detention, they meet some very interesting people... All Human. *COMPLETE*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 11,276 - Reviews: 336 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 5/10/2010 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Two Weeks in Summer reviews
Bella, Alice and Rosalie are Americans in Britain for their holidays, camping. Who are these gorgeous Brits they meet? Written for xXsu-zannXx. This is her plotline, I just wrote the story... and changed it a little... ALL HUMAN. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 8,884 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 4/26/2009 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Complete
Jasper and the Scary Spider reviews
Alice has an unwelcome visiting creepy-crawley... Oneshot. Read if you're bored.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Jasper, Alice - Complete