dutchdear
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Joined 10-22-08, id: 1722951, Profile Updated: 01-05-10
Author has written 3 stories for Left Behind, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

'Aye. You've reached the distracted brain of Dutchdear. You have most likely missed me, because my ADHD was acting up so I left after being on for 5 seconds. Hit me up, if you are so inclined, and I'll get back to you.

Left Behind: I guess I write fics to please the Slacktivite community, considering they are amazing. I've deleted all my old fics and posted a new one. R&R?

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: I wrote this one out of pure boredom... just because the thought popped into my head.

Favorite fandoms: Left Behind fandom. Because we so epicly make fun of LaHaye and Jenkins everyday and that makes me smile.

Likes: Out-of-Canon pairings, AU, comedy, making fun of sucky authors, making people mad, poetry, songwriting, sleeping, reading your fanfic, bugging you sorry booksnmusic with constant private messages to update if I like your stories. I get excited when there's something decent on this site.

Dislikes: Stupid people who don't like AUs, random pairings, comedy, and have the inablility to laugh at a comedic fic.

Confusion: Why do people write horrificly dumb and pointless fic? I mean, who am I to talk? I have a billion stupid fics saved on my comp. But why post them? Do something worth posting. Thanks :) Oh and I am confused as to why people are irritated that I have perfect pitch... I'm not weird.

Why The Heck I Bother To Write: To annoy others, to distract myself, and piss the heck out of douchemonkeys in a few thousand words.

Disturbances...: When people write and they don't research. THAT MAKES ME SO MADDDDDD. When you use bad grammar, aren't creative, can't spell, or just all-around can't write.

My Pairings...oh, and by the way, if you don't like them, I don't care, cuz I'm gonna write them anyway :--

Left Behind: Hattie/Rayford, Hattie/Nicolae, Hattie/the rest of the world, cuz she pretty much does (theoretically) throw the finger at most everyone eventually... and yeah that's pretty much it, considering the whole series is full of douchenozzle-ness...

Twilight: Jacob/Me...

This whole profile makes me sound mean. My bad. I'm not mean. I'm picky, but not mean. I'm not gonna bash you. Do yer best- I'm no pro, either. Now, as I was saying about that ADHD... facebook calls.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere)
On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

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Left Behind: SG1 by ChristianGateFan reviews
When billions vanish, including one of SG1's own, the team looks for answers. What they find changes their lives forever, and throws them into the battle of the ages. What happens when they stand in the way of the most evil enemy they will ever face?
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 90 - Words: 368,276 - Reviews: 607 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 1/4/2012 - Published: 4/24/2007
love addict by pococurantism reviews
a night between two lover's desires.
Left Behind - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 907 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/8/2005 - Hattie D., N. Carpathia - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Durham reviews
The Life and Lies of Hattie Durham
Left Behind - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,956 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/10/2009 - Hattie D.
Death Is Painless reviews
How could Jekyll live with himself? He couldn't. Just a short story about his discovery... death is painless.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 148 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/4/2009 - H. Jekyll
Desperate For Something reviews
Random short backstory that popped into my head for Hattie Durham.
Left Behind - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 804 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11/16/2009 - Published: 10/26/2009 - Hattie D., Rayford S.