Lois of Goldenlake
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Joined 10-24-08, id: 1724203, Profile Updated: 09-11-09
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto, and Twilight.

Well hello there!

Uhm. My name's Natasha, I'm 18 and I'm from Denmark, and I speak Danish the best (obviously!) but I believe myself to be quite okay when it comes to using English.. Correct me if I'm wrong ;) I just finished high school and started on the University of Southern Denmark, mastering in English.

My reading

I loved the Harry Potter series and I've read the first 4/5 books 7 times. I still need to read the last ones a few more times to extract the last couple of nuances, but fanfiction, school and friends take up a lot of my time. The rest is stolen by all the other books I need to read :D

Twilight holds a special place in my heart, and I love the series. But although I heart the whole saga very much, I am beginning to agree with all the critics claiming that it is badly written and the characters are shallow and E and B have no chemistry etc. I see their point, and to some extend? I agree. To me, it is obvious that it is Steph's debut and that she's got very limited experience. I am no writer, I would fare much worse than she has. Because she's done amazingly well. I do not claim that I could've done any better. I have read immesurable amounts of books, though, and I know the difference between Robin Hobb and Stephenie Meyer, to name an example.

BD. Breaking Dawn. It's tricky. I was so dissappointed. I understand her point, what she wanted for E&B and for the plot. I accept it; I embrace it. I could have done without Renesmee. That is my only complaint. I know she did something amazing for E&B's relationship. She took them to the next level. She alone. And I admire Steph for daring to write something as unexpected as Nessie.

I admit: I will probably never read the series ever again. Look above. Look at Bella. Indecisive, weak, low self esteem; everything that I am not and avoid every day. I am being harsh. I am being brutally honest. So sue me.

My writing

Lemons: Mostly without any sort of plot, but I like writing them, and therefore I continue! HA! XD Some of them have at least some plot, though.. It's tough to write a proper scenario without a story to precede the action :D

Stories: My stories often take me to the lemony/horny corner of my mind, but I try to not put too much citrus in my stories.. Especially when it's real sweet :D I don't know my own limits, so tell me to stop when the stories get lame.. I always think that my writing has to be a whole novel to be the least bit good, but I doubt it actually makes it much better.. :D

One-shots: Mostly lemons, but we'll see what I can make up..
I have a bad habit of starting to write something, publish it and then stop writing. (Damned writers block and no hits and reviews :D) So I'll try to write at least five chapters of my next story before I publish the first chappy, and then I'll publish according to reviews and hits..

My stories:

I am still suffering from my damned writer's block. I'm doing everything I can to relieve it. Now that I've started back in school, though, it's hard to find the time I need to write.

There's nothing like.

Universe: Twilight
Summary: I'm sexually frustrated, and I let it out on Edward and Bella. What will hopefully become a series of lemony one-shots starring our favorite Twilight characters. Rated M for a reason, peeps. It's smut. Period.
Rating: M - Lemons
Chapters: 1/?? - I've got a bunch of notes in my wallet, though, so maybe you'll get something readable soon. No promises.

What would happen?
Universe: Naruto
Summary: What would happen if you were caught red handed in committing a 'crime', if you met an Akatsuki out partying, if you were jumped upon by an Akatsuki member jumping in your window while you were fast asleep, if...? LEMON! WARNING! LEMON!
Rating: M - Lemons, language
Chapters: 5/9 - I need to finish the Sasori one-shot, and then I am moving on to one of the last guys: Pein, Kisame and Zetsu. Ideas are welcome!

Reviews make me happy!

I'll answer all reviews I can, but I make no promises. I read them all, though!

Also, I review as often as possible, since I know how frustrating it is to watch the hits/visitors charts go up, but the reviews stay the same..

You are very welcome to point out spelling errors, punctuation errors, improvements in writing style etc., but don't be mad at me if I don't follow up on the heads-up(s) - sometimes spelling is not as important as the story, so I choose not to tire myself with tripple checking of misspelling but just publish a chapter I like and get on with the story. And, btw, I don't think it's such a big irritant to try to read "dong" instead of "doing" - it's a fracking i that's missing! - I have no Beta Reader, so that's the cause of my unmotivated rant there :D Sowy..

Please feel free to request, message etc.!




Discussing the colour of the sky is idiocy. My law teacher.

This bus is one of those that you use to go somewhere else. Me.

The thing with tunnels is that it's always dark and clammy the first half or so, but then it (hopefully) starts to brighten. You just gotta hope it's not a train coming your way! My law teacher. The guy's a bastard, but he's a genious.

More to come.


Girl Confessions

1. Do you sleep in your bra?
No, it’s a very rare occurence. Only if I fall asleep in all of my clothes. I’m famous for doing just that. :D

2. Have you kissed any one on your top list?
My top list? I guess this refers to myspace? But no, I haven’t.

3. Are you happy with your looks?
Yeah, I’m alright with them. I could look better, but who couldn’t?

4. Do you enjoy drama?
No, I like calm.

5. Are you a girly girl?
No, I’m more of a tomboy.

6. Who was the last person you hugged?
My best friend, Martin.

7. Small or large purses?
Large. They are a damned mess, but at least I know where I’ve got ‘em.

8. Are you short?
More like average.

9. Do you like someone?
Not at the moment.

10. What would you do if someone smacked your butt?
Depends on who it was. Any of my friends I’d just pout and pretend to be upset. I’d slap anyone else across the face.

11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Not really. No one’s gonna come near my feet anyway.

12. Do you think you’re conceited?
I know I’m not.

13. Are you a bitch?
I’m very outspoken and I don’t hold anything back, so I might seem like it, but my friends think I’m a really sweet person, and that’s what matters to me.

13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
No, I don’t.

14. Are you double jointed?
No, I’m not.

15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
On the lap of one of my classmates in his sofa. I’ve got a weird position, though: My head on my mattress, my knees on the floor and my arms down my side.

16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
No. But I got hit in the head with a water bottle.

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
Yeah, that I've slept with my best friend. Which is not true.

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Yeah, I know a few people that are called the same, so we tend to use their last names.

20. How many guys do you think will end up reading this just because it says- Girl Confessions?

x I do wear make up
x I have cried at a movie theater
x I can put mascara on without opening my mouth
x I get jealous
x I think Johnny Depp is sexy
x I love to laugh
x I like classic rock
I like death/grind/black metal
I like rap
x I like techno
x I like country
I carry a purse
x I’d be lost without my computer
x I own a Spice Girls CD
x I own a Britney Spears CD
x I own a boy band CD
x I get bored watching football
I love Gothic guys
I love skater guys
I like guys who BMX
I love country guys
I’ve never been called a spoiled brat
x I love guys that are just themselves!
x Guys are confusing!!
x I’ve been called a bad influence.
x Lip gloss is better than lipstick.
x Can leave the house without makeup.
x I play video games, even when there are other people around.
x My friends are the best.
x I want a tattoo
x I don’t have a tattoo
x I have a piercing
I’m insecure

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not by gentlegroove reviews
Bella is stuck in a rut. Just when things seem the lowest, in walks smooth and sexy Edward Cullen, a hotshot lawyer and frequent customer of the flower shop Bella works at. Smart girls don't fall for guys like him, but he might turn out to be exactly what she needs.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 42,943 - Reviews: 288 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 526 - Updated: 10/1/2013 - Published: 9/24/2008 - Bella, Edward
Tropic of Virgo by In.a.blue.bathrobe reviews
He's a young but jaded musician writing lyrics for his band, and she's a naive, frustrated poet looking to break out of her shell; their words collide online. What happens when they meet in high school, unaware of their literary connection?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 37 - Words: 150,577 - Reviews: 20379 - Favs: 13,760 - Follows: 5,615 - Updated: 9/9/2013 - Published: 3/4/2009 - Complete
Alice's Jasper, Edward's Bella by LyricalKris reviews
Bella had lost everything, including her purpose in life. Jasper had lost everything, including his freedom. Prison is an unlikely place to find happiness again, but two broken souls will recognize each other in the most unexpected of places.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 32,647 - Reviews: 478 - Favs: 664 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 4/1/2013 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Hiding in Plain Sight by limona reviews
Bella is a witness in peril. Emmett Cullen is the deputy assigned to protect her. When the witness protection program isn't safe, Emmett asks Bella to pose as his brother Edward's fiancée until the trial. AU, AH, ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 141,120 - Reviews: 10779 - Favs: 12,180 - Follows: 12,743 - Updated: 6/14/2012 - Published: 9/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
Bonne Foi by Amethyst Jackson reviews
AU. Edward Masen was changed in 1918 and abandoned by his sire. He feeds on human blood, unaware of any other way…until he stumbles across college freshman Bella Swan for a night that will change everything.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 169,901 - Reviews: 14793 - Favs: 11,369 - Follows: 8,040 - Updated: 5/8/2012 - Published: 11/6/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Play On by Aea reviews
He had enough problems right now; this guy was the last thing he needed..."You must be my roommates." Movie from Duke's POV
She's the Man - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 120,048 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 1/1/2012 - Published: 3/5/2008 - Complete
Of Kith and Kin by Chicklette reviews
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return." -Nat King Cole. This story is about that. AH, Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 88,113 - Reviews: 4052 - Favs: 3,831 - Follows: 2,013 - Updated: 12/19/2011 - Published: 7/16/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Subject: Edward Cullen, aka The Womanizer by ericastwilight reviews
Edward's family hire Bella Swan to break the heartbreaker's heart in hopes to have him see the error of his womanizing ways. But she falls hard, too, at the risk of breaking her own heart when the truth is revealed. EXB-AH-OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 328,966 - Reviews: 9519 - Favs: 8,723 - Follows: 5,802 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Elemental by TallulahBelle reviews
AU/AH: When the Swans return to their birthplace, Bella learns she is no ordinary teenager, and Forks is no ordinary town. Can she fulfill her destiny with the powerful Edward Cullen, or will the dark forces that threaten their families destroy them all?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 30 - Words: 189,571 - Reviews: 9404 - Favs: 9,461 - Follows: 5,119 - Updated: 2/8/2011 - Published: 7/23/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Parachute by KitsuShel reviews
After finding an abandoned child on the streets of Seattle, Bella Swan raises him for five years as her own. What happens to their life when his biological family is found? AU/AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 158,875 - Reviews: 17752 - Favs: 11,258 - Follows: 5,758 - Updated: 2/3/2011 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
You're Never Too Old To Play Dress Up by youngandobsessed reviews
Bella gets bold and decides to try something new with Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,600 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 351 - Follows: 301 - Updated: 11/7/2010 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Woman Scorned by Bella Baby24 reviews
Bella is betrayed by her husband. She writes a book based on the plan for revenge she wishes she could enact against her ex and his lover. How will Edward react when he sees Bella again and realizes that he's the inspiration behind the best-selling book?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 67,779 - Reviews: 5718 - Favs: 3,044 - Follows: 3,484 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 11/3/2009
The Port Angeles Players by WriteOnTime reviews
New in the town of Forks and eager to please her boss at the university, Bella auditions for a local production of Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing". Her co-star is a handsome but confusing local doctor. Curtains-up on love. AH canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 170,459 - Reviews: 4595 - Favs: 4,031 - Follows: 1,613 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sixty Years of Love by KeeWit reviews
Plot Bunny Contest Entry: Do you remember that moment? The one where you first realize you're in love? It's been sixty years, and I still remember it like it was yesterday. My first FanFic. Try it. I can guarantee it's not what you think.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,644 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/31/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I Wanna Eff You Like a Masochistic Lion by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
I Wanna Eff You Like a Masochistic Lion B/c of Your Pools of Brown Diarrhea Eyes: The Worst Story Ever Told. Collab btwn Philadelphic, Feisty Y. Beden, & NelsonsMandela. M for mmmwrong. Welcome to the Sequel, Chilly's Song.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 24,947 - Reviews: 521 - Favs: 543 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 12/30/2009
Summer of Salt by lola-pops reviews
The heat wave lingers. Sweet, savory and slick. Jasper, Rose and I wade through the humid days, content in our relative isolation. We spend June through August at our family lake property, and this summer is like any other. Until it's not.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 88,646 - Reviews: 4599 - Favs: 5,936 - Follows: 2,168 - Updated: 7/5/2010 - Published: 12/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Rhapsody in B by Lillybellis reviews
When a rising musician falls in love with his small-town childhood friend, can their yearly New Year's Eve tradition bring them together once he rockets to stardom and leaves her behind?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 87,888 - Reviews: 2964 - Favs: 3,530 - Follows: 1,636 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 10/7/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Just One of the Guys by SorceressCirce reviews
Scarred by events in her past, Bella relies heavily on her best friend and roommate, Jasper. When Jasper falls in love with a girl named Alice, Bella is excited for him but can’t help but wonder – where will she fit in? Canon pairings, AH/AU, OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 261,614 - Reviews: 4102 - Favs: 4,099 - Follows: 3,917 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 2/13/2009
So Be It by SophiaAnne reviews
Happy Harry is here again, live and streaming right into where you live. Are you ready for me?” Will Bella Swan find out who's behind the sexy voice that has her all hot and bothered? BxE - AU/AH, OOC, Lemons and Language. Now revised and expanded.
Crossover - Pump Up The Volume & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,484 - Reviews: 549 - Favs: 994 - Follows: 426 - Updated: 3/3/2010 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Bella - Complete
Tahoe Tanglings by hammondgirl reviews
Bella & Alice head out for a winter vacation in Tahoe. Along the way, they meet Rose & Emmett, and during their stay, they meet both Edward & Jasper. Tahoe Tanglings is co-authored by AHizelm & HammondGirl, and will include all POVs. BxE,
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 111,205 - Reviews: 892 - Favs: 535 - Follows: 414 - Updated: 2/11/2010 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Complete
Bitter Sweet Symphony by I'mwiththevampires08 reviews
Rose and Edward make a bet. Will the school playboy be able to turn Bella into a vixen and get James to ask her out to prom? Will Edward make a good teacher and teach Bella everything she needs to know? Oh yes, there will be lemons! All human, OOC and Can
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 201,689 - Reviews: 8742 - Favs: 5,464 - Follows: 5,131 - Updated: 1/13/2010 - Published: 9/7/2008
Let's Get Physical by gemmabobella reviews
Pure Fluff. AH AU Emmet/Bella Bella finds herself back in physical therapy after her latest encounter with the ground, and falls for her physical therapist Emmett. There will be no angst. pure fluff,short story M for language and citrusy goodness
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,433 - Reviews: 585 - Favs: 1,009 - Follows: 423 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 12/21/2008 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Promises, Promises by NyteRock reviews
Edward needs to unwind after a difficult mission overseas and Bella's just the girl to help him. AU/AH Lemony one-shot. My entry for the DTE contest
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,091 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 600 - Follows: 294 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 10/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella Swan: Kidnapper by Kambria Rain reviews
Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 74,736 - Reviews: 9085 - Favs: 15,992 - Follows: 3,449 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Official Twilight SmutVent Calendar 2008 by BritishBitches reviews
25 days of smut! The best smut authors on FanFic have come together to create the ultimate advent calendar! Each day leading up to Christmas we will be posting a new chapter, each written by a guest author! Lot's of lemons! Enjoy! x Outtakes now posted!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 137,830 - Reviews: 1123 - Favs: 1,008 - Follows: 687 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
Angela's Plan by MISSYAlexandra reviews
Angela acts on getting Booth and Brennan together packed in with a heap of exciting stuffs to come in between :D
Bones - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 15,245 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 6/6/2009 - Published: 9/7/2008 - T. Brennan, S. Booth
Place Your Bets by vanillabeans reviews
Collaboration with KatieBelleCullen - Manwhore Edward bets Emmett that he can remain abstinent for 40 days and nights;that was before the vixen Bella moved to Forks and set her sights on the delectable Edward Cullen. AU/OOC. M for EXTREME SMUT/PROFANITY
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 74,394 - Reviews: 1497 - Favs: 1,469 - Follows: 1,684 - Updated: 5/14/2009 - Published: 10/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
High Heels and Runaway Frisbees by enamors reviews
Bella shares a very passionate and public kiss with a handsome, bronze haired stranger. Edward/Bella AU/AH one shot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,102 - Reviews: 5286 - Favs: 4,884 - Follows: 4,134 - Updated: 3/4/2009 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Potiphar's Wife by Twilighter620 reviews
Bella is "Potiphar's Wife" the deadly seductive woman who makes it her goal to bed Carlisle's, "Joseph," Edward Masen. Mature content and based off religious themes. Proceed with caution...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,977 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 64 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Complete
Save You by bella c'ella luna reviews
Edward left Bella in New Moon and she lived the normal, vampire-free life that he always wanted for her. Now Bella's almost ninety and Edward is back in Forks for a final goodbye. This is a one-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,520 - Reviews: 534 - Favs: 540 - Follows: 115 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
He's Perfect For You by Marz123 reviews
This is a different way for Viola and Duke to find each other. Viola gets tired of waiting for Duke to make the move so she takes matters into her own hands. Will it backfire or will she make Duke see that the one he least expected is perfect for him? R&R
She's the Man - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,370 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 11/24/2008 - Published: 4/7/2008
Skeleton In The Closet by Starlite1 reviews
Dear Temperance...
Bones - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 835 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/14/2008 - T. Brennan, S. Booth - Complete
The End of the Honeymoon by Jane Elliott reviews
The honeymoon cannot last forever; can what follows be as sweet? Written for the 2006 Yuletide story exchange.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,715 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 30 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Complete
Paging Dr Love by Debussy-This reviews
Bella Swan, a resident, is struggling with the realities of a medical career when she mets attending Dr. Edward Masen, a real life Dr. Love. Can he save her from her own self doubt? AU Human, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,843 - Reviews: 464 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 794 - Updated: 10/25/2008 - Published: 9/10/2008 - Bella, Edward
Your Love is an Ocean, and I'm Afraid of Water by bitter for sweet reviews
He swore silently. "Alanna, I'm sorry, I never meant any harm, I just want you t'know how I feel." She faced him again. "I know how you feel, George." She whispered, "But I don't know if I feel the same way. I can't let myself feel the same way."
Song of the Lioness - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,469 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 3/13/2005 - Published: 12/22/2003 - Tortall, Tortall
Silent Communication by Albino Penguin reviews
Fred and George share an evening of wordless bonding slash. lemon.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,040 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 1/11/2004 - Published: 7/21/2003 - George W., George W.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

There's nothing like reviews
I'm sexually frustrated, and I let it out on Edward and Bella. What will hopefully become a series of lemony one-shots starring our favorite Twilight characters. Rated M for a reason, peeps. It's smut. Period.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,283 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/13/2008
What would happen? reviews
What would happen if you were caught red handed in committing a 'crime', if you met an Akatsuki out partying, if you were jumped upon by an Akatsuki member jumping in your window while you were fast asleep, if...? LEMON! WARNING! LEMON!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,188 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/6/2008 - Published: 10/27/2008