Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.
OKAY!! IM BACK!!
Sorry I have been gone for a while, mostly because I have been so busy with school and family life, but now that its SUMMER! I'm writting again!
I want to thank you who have read my story and like it and have added it to your favorites. I have another story too, now! So read both please! I was so happy with the Twilight movie, I love it! And now I can't wait for New Moon to come out! I love all the actors in the Twilight movie! They did such a good job! OH! And I surprised myself too! NOW I AM TEAM JACOB AND TEAM EDWARD! I LOVE THEM BOTH! SUCH GREAT GUYS! So I can't choose between them. So all you Team Edward and Team Jacob lovers, please read and reveiw my stories!!
Well I don't have much more to say, but READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!! :D
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY!!Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky". "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Sport." Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom." "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive." Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be: firstname.lastname@example.org or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him or her if they want fries with that. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN." Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many." Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children. For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that." Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addiction, switch to espresso. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall # 3." Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think." Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors'. Dont use any punctuation Use, too...much; punctuation! As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'. Sing along at the opera. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything. At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. (warning: you can get arrested for this, but that can be instructive too) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard." When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!" When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!" Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do." Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
Two factory workers were talking. "I know how to get some time off from work." said the man.
"How do you think you will do that?" said the other one. He proceeded to show her...by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down.
The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he was doing? "I'm a light bulb" answered the guy.
"I think you need some time off," said the boss. So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The second worker began walking out too. The boss asked her where did she think she was going?
"Home. I can't work in the dark."Annoying Things to Do in an Elevator
Walk on with a cooler that is labeled "HUMAN HEAD" on the side. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" Crack open your briefcase of purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there? Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. Meow occasionally. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM" and back away slowly. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. Annouce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body." Say "Ding" at each floor. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, "I have new socks on." When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?" Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space." When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. Ask, "Did you feel that?" Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again." Swat at flies that don't exist. Tell people that you can see their aura. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Shave. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now... motion sickness!" Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. Leave a box between the doors. Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head. Start a sing-along. One word: Flatulence! Do Tai Chi exercises When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!" Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. Bring a chair along. Lean against the button panel. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently. Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.