samarazz
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Joined 10-28-08, id: 1727418, Profile Updated: 03-20-11

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever fallen upstairs, copy and paste this in your profile (not my fault when youre wearing slippers, walking upstairs w/o tripping is hard!)

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile..

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever asked a question that the person your asking couldn't possibly know the answer to, copy and paste this on your profile. (i love doing this...it's funny)

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.(The Parent Trap, Twilight, Hp and Titanic lol)

If you've ever pulled on a door that said push or vise versa, copy and paste this into you profile.

If you consider your family strange, but love them anyway, put this into your profile.

If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you like Subway, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

-if you have so many 'if you have' ' in your profile that you cant see if theres doubles anymore , copy this into you profile

-if you have ever tripped over air copy this into your profile

-if you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into you profile

-if you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile

-if you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile

-if you ever forgot about what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

-if you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!

-if you're one of those people who get excited when they see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

-if you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

-if you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

-for me, crazy is a loose term. crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

-i like cheese. i have seen purple cows. if two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? milk tastes good. people call me crazy, which i am, but im also random! if you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

-If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

-If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Almost every night)

-Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

-If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

-There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

-If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

-93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

-Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile (I have amazing friends that are the best people in the whole wide world!)

-If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

-92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

-Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the fewpeople that would answer, "where to begin?"

-If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

-You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

-If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

-Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

-If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

-If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

-If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

-If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.

-Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

-If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

-If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

-If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

-If you would never even consider betting against Alice Cullen, copy this onto your profile.

-If you carry around a book (Twilight) where ever you go, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

-If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

-If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said gorgeous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile (I've done this, but I think of myself as Bella- he can't read my mind)

-98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you read New Moon and Eclipse and you wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. (coughTwilightcough)

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped on your own two feet copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it isn't funny anymore copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever pushed on a door that said pull copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read Twilight over 10 times copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace and Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile

If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think being unique is better than being cool, you know the drill

If your wondering why I'm wasting my time on my profile instead of writing stories Copy and Paste this to your Profile.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

92 of the teenage population would be dead if the Jonas Brothers decides breathing wasn't cool. I am one of the 8 that would be laughing hysterically in the background.

90 of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing at the edge of a six story building. Post this on your page if you would be one of the 10 of people who would be yelling "Jump

92 of the teenage population would be dead if the Jonas Brothers decides breathing wasn't cool. I am one of the 8 that would be laughing hysterically in the background.

90 of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing at the edge of a six story building. Post this on your page if you would be one of the 10 of people who would be yelling "Jump

FOR THE GIRLS

╔══╦══╦══╗ you have been Pinned
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it!

Twilight Oath:

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rosalie
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to despise the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to remember Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

...V...Put this
...A...On your
...M...Profile
...P...If
...I...You
...R...Have
...E...That crazy
...S...Obsession over vampires

in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their but to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do thats longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here??

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run my little retarded friend, run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

Fun things to do in an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent that would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

Rejection is harsh:
"Strawberry Blonde - not at all my type."
Eclipse, page 194

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm NOT POPULAR so I MUST have no life.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm MEXICAN, I I MUST steal everything I don't have.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.
I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor.
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy.
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser
I like DANCING, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I WRITE SAD POETRY so I MUST be emo.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
i'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver
i act freaking CRAZY so i must be craving attention.
i LAUGH ALL THE TIME so i must be a party girl.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I GO TO A NEEK SCHOOL, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a neek, so I MUST not swear or talk about sex
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF (all the time, i get yelled at for it all the time!), so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE and IMMATURE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.
I agree with some cases of ABORTION so i MUST be heartless.
I have taken sisha, so I MUST be attention seeking.

A guy and girl were speeding 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: slow down i'm scared.

Guy:No this is fun.

Girl:No, It's not. Please, i'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: now give me a big hug.

Girl:She gives him a big hug.

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out.'

(my mum says that)

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR
MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
'There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are
going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when
you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were
born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about
JUSTICE .
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're
in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your
neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went
through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out.'

(my mum says that)

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR
MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
'There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are
going to freeze that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when
you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were
born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about
JUSTICE .
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you

You say Pink,
I say black!
You say the Harry Potter series,
I say the Twilight series!
You say the Jonas Brothers are hot,
I say the Cullen brothers are HOTTER!
You say Miley Cyrus,
I say Taylor Swift!
You say Harry and Ginny,
I say Edward and Bella!
You say Werewolves,
I say Vampires!
You say Team Jacob,
I say Team Jasper 4 ever!
You say you hate Twilight,
I say I hate YOU!

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

A guy gets a girl 11 real roses and one fake rose. When he gave her the 12 roses, he said,"I'll love you until the last one dies."

I read Eclipse and wanted to smack Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me

I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than with emails, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are diffrent and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone

Quotes

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr Seuss

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."

"Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."

"Everything will be ok in the end and if it's not ok, it's not the end."

"You'll never leave where you are until you decide where you want to be."

"Take away love, and our earth is a tomb." -Robert Browning

You have one advantage over me. You can kiss my butt and I can't.

When did I realise I was god? Well I was praying and suddenly I realized I was talking to myself...

Favorite Twilight Quotes:

"About three things I was absolutely positive about. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." Bella in Twilight

"Do I dazzle you?" Edward in Twilight

"I love you. It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing but it's still true." Edward in Twilight

"How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?" Alice in New Moon

"Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. And then you shot across the sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore, and there was no more reason for anything." Edward in New Moon

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." "What a stupid lamb." "What a sick, masochistic lion." Edward and Bella in Twilight

"I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!" Edward reading from Wuthering Heights in Eclipse

~0~

10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen:

10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent.

9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent.

8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun.

7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER.

6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France.

5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”.

4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death?

3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water.

2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy.

And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen?

1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!”

10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale:

10. Beg him not to eat you.

9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.

8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.

7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain.

6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.

5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.

4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.

3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.

2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.

And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?

1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.

10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen:

10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg himnot to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?

1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.

10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen:

10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist.

9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth.

8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship.

7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake.

6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in.

5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male.

4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed.

3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep.

2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles

And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen?

1.When he denies the abovetow claims, respondwith "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!"

10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen:

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them."

9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.

7. ask her whar the answer to nr. 7 is

6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting."

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling

3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.

10 ways to annoy Bella Swan:

10. Ask about Eric.

9. Ask about Mike.

8. Ask about Jacob.

7. Ask about Edward.

6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys.

5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.

4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy.

3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes.

2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon.

And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?

1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction.

10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale:

10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.

9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face.

8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great.

6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.”

5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.

4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face.

3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face.

2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her.

And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale?

1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne.

10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen:

10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.

9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.

8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?

7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy”

6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile.

5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.

4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.

3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.

2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.

And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?

1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.

10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black:

10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.

9. Call him a space heater.

8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.

7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.

6. Inform him that real men sparkle.

5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.

4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.

3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.

2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.

And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?

1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.

7. Don’t use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”

10. Sing Along at the Opera

11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!”

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I f you wish you could have a big brother like Emmett Cullen, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this on your profile.

Your dad’s rules for your boyfriend (or for if you’re a guy)

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you don’t peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about the issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with you underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the courses of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier Method’ of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and only word I need you to say on this subject is ‘early'.

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The Following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough too induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, mid-driff t shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose-parka, zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided: movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folk’s homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shot gun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of our car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a nice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as a wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face in the window is mine.

CUTE AND FUNNY QUOTES

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Having the love of your life say, "we can still be friends", is like having your

dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them. (hell yea!)

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

"It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile, but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone."

"It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?"

You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

He who laughs last didn't get it

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter

"I'm not afraid of death i'm afraid of something much worse... my mother"

she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.
she said that she wanted to stay up all night & drink- he gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi & said ‘drink up’
she said that she wanted to shoot herself- he gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger & aimed it at her face.
she said that she wanted to cut herself up- he took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along with scissors & had her cut it up.
she said that she wanted to see her blood- he took her to get her earz pierced.
she said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep- he had her watch a sad romantic movie before bed.
she said that she wanted to be alone- he gave her a nametag that sad "my name is: ALONE."
she said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always; he asked her when he wasnt

im sorry if i...

CRY too much
SMILE too big
LAUGH alot
SING in the car
DANCE in the rain
SLEEP on the floor
TALK too loud
TRY too hard

just remember im me not you

~~LOVE is just a four letter LIE!~~

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of people I killed because they annoyed me.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone

I want to die like my grandmother died- asleep and at peace...not screaming like the passengers in her car.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!"
Well, I think guns help.
If you stood there and yelled Bang,
I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Sueside is like telling god you cant fire me, i quit

They laugh at me because im diferent i laugh at them because there all the same

dont knock on deaths door, ring the doorbell and run! he hates that

coppy and poste

(\ /) if you want to help the cute bunny
(0.0) atcheve world domination
(>

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

You Know You're Canadian When:

You stand in line-ups at the movie, not lines.
You're not offended by the term "Homo Milk".
You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine."
You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
You drink pop, not soda.
You know what it means to be on pogey.
You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!"
You can drink legally while still a teen.
You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it...except for when it comes to our current Prime Minister, sure.
You're not sure if the leader of your nation has ever had sex and you really don't want to know if he has!
You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap."
You know that Mounties "don't always look like that."
You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly."
You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
You participated in "Participaction."
You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me."
You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
Unlike any international assasin/terrorist/spy in the world, you possess a Canadian passport.
You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, favor, favorite and color.
You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
You speak French at least up to grade 9 and know the difference between a "France accent" and a "Quebecois accent".
You say "Grade 9" not "9th Grade".
You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
You've seen the movie 'Canadian Bacon' and know the scene where the Americans push Canadians around is 'just about right'.
You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus *I just got really excited and did it*
You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
You know what a toque is.
You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
You know Toronto is not a province.
You know that Toronto is not the Capitol of Canada.
You have been on "Speakers Corner."
Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favorites food groups.
All sentences, statements, especially questions end with 'eh'.

...Pretty honest list, eh?

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS³ ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS³.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS³.. ... .sS.. .SS³ . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS³... ³S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS³... ³,
... ... ... ...sS. ... ³SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .³SSSSSSs.. ... ³SSs ,
... ... ... ...³S. ... .³SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... ³SSSSS..SSSS... s³
... ... ... ... ³SSs ... ...³SSSSSSSSS³ ... sS³
... ... ... ... .³SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS³. ..s SS³
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S³
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS³
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSs§§§§§§§§§sSSSSs§§§§§§§§§SS
... ...³§§§§§§§§§§§§§sSs§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
... ..§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§s§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
... ..³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
... ... ³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
... ... ..³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
... ... ... ³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
... ... ... ... ³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
... ... ... ... ... ³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
... ... ... ... ... ... ³§§§§§§§§§§§³
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..³§§§§§³
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..³§³

The Stupid Test! Teehee. (put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. if you have 18 or less, than u r not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.

(x) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.(dont ask)

(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

~total= 5~

(x) You have run into a tree.

(x) It IS possible to lick your elbow

(x) You just tried to lick your elbow.

(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.

(x) You just tried to sing them.

(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

(x) You have choked on your own spit.

() You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.

(x) You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice

(x) You just looked at it.

(x) Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde/has blonde in it.

() People have called you slow.

~total so far= 15~

(x) You have accidentally caught something on fire

(x) You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.

(x) You have caught yourself drooling.

(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class

() If someone says “fart” you laugh.

() You just laughed.

~total so far= 19~

(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking

(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about

() People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you

(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

(x) You use your fingers to do simple math.

~total so far= 23~

() You have eaten a bug.

(x) You are taking this test when you should be doing something important

(x) You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

(x) You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.

~total so far= 26~

(x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.

(x) You break a lot of things.

() Your friends know not to use big words around you

(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused

(X) You have fallen out of your chair before

(x) When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

~Total all together= 31~

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.
I am the girl that hasn't been asked out. (ok I have been, but it's been YEARS)
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and wonder at the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do anymore, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:

Iheartjake1220,FaerieRose13,Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters,SparklingTopazEyes,MysticMoon24,KatyCullen09,mcr3dgvdhp,Fallen-Petals15,Snapeangel,annaniichan,

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

There's nothing that can't be fixed with: duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time.

I'm awesome. Agree or die.

You know you're crazy when you know the Men in white by name.

An essay is an attempt to explain something that could have been said in two sentences

Life isn't passing me by. It's trying to run me over.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

· If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

20 Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,

" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,

"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,

say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..

"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie.

THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB: If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this
into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon,
Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel Of Cherry
Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms016, Rayray, Sakura the lover,
Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26,
Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, Kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan,
Mai-'-Kawaii-'-Ai, Hinatakura, Sakuranata,ChristinaAngel,Shoelacey, Temari-Sand Princess, Tonni88, AnimeLover325, Liliedove, Meco45, TJD41066, AkatsukiGrl101, Anna niichan

╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝page if you love
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╔╗Naruto!
╚╩═╩╝╚╩╝╚╩══╝╚╝╚══╝╚╝

getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom225,crimsonchidori,SasukeSakuraxXXxItachiSakura,cherryredblossom,BLOSSOMHAERTXOXO,Cherry Bloosom Girl13, SaDiStIc-GoTh.Takai, xxxNicolexJxHxxx , anna niichan

98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!(What do you mean not to put this in? NNNOOOOOOO! We will be figured out! What do you mean we? I'm the one people think is insane.) Haha I have three voices in mah head . Their names are Rose, Suki, and Alice . Don't ask ...

The "You no like, you no read" club: If you believe that people who don't like someone's story should simply not read it instead of posting cruel and hateful reviews, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Alicia's Purple Velvet Purse, changelingchild, crimsonchidori, SasukeSakuraxXXxItachiSakura,foxfeather1337,Sadistic-Bitch, Cherry Blossom Girl13, SaDiStIc-GoTh.Takai, xxxNicolexJxHxxx, anna niichan

"I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)"

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me. "

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.

COPY AND PASTE !!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

(Because if there was no insanity, there would be no authors, and we'd have to find some other site to visit.)

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Went to a party Mom...

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn't drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ' Mommy's Girl' on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I'm getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mom!'
So I love you and goodbye.

YOU SAY OJD
I SAY OTD
YOU SAY JONAS
I SAY CULLEN
YOU SAY OH MY JONAS!
I SAY OH MY EDWARD!!
YOU GO SEE A JB CONCERT
I STAY HOME AND READ WHOLE SERIES -FOR THE 4 TIMES
YOU SAY NICK HAS DIABETES
I SAY BELLA LUVS A VAMPIRE
YOU SAY JOE CAN DO THE SPLITS
I SAY EDWARD CAN READ MINDS
YOU SAY YOUR MESSED UP
I SAY IT'S A TWILIGHT THING

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
3. True love knows no boundaries.
4. Some people are just danger magnets.
5. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
6. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
7. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
8. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
9. Family is about more than just blood.
10. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
11. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
12. There are exceptions to every rule.
13. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
14. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
15. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
16. Cold hands = Warm heart.
17. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
18. Romeo was an idiot.
19. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
20. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

26 Things A Perfect Guy Would Do!

Blondes have fun,
Redheads are smart,
But it takes a brunette to steal Edward Cullen's heart!!

1) Know how to make you smile when you are down.
2) To secretly smell you hair, but you always notice.
3) Stick up for you, but still respects your independence...
4) Give you the remote control during the game.
5) Come up behind you, and put his arms around you.
6) Play with your hair.
7) His hand always finds yours.
8) Be cute when he really wants something.
9) Offer you plenty of massages.
10) Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
11) ...Never run out of love.
12) Be funny, but know how to be serious.
13) Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.
14) Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15) React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
16) Smile a lot.
17) Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, but does it because he knows how much it means to you.
18) Appricate you.
19) Help others out.
20) Drive for 5 hours just to see you for 1.
21) Always give you a peck on the cheek when you are departing form each other's company, even if his friends are watching.
22) Sing, even if he can't.
23) Have a creative sense of humor...
24) Stare at you.
25) Call for no reason.
26) If you are away from each other for a period of time, tell you that he misses you and wishes you were there.

Those Real Labels:

Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"

Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."

Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets"

Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"

Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping."

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark"

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." (Are you sure? Lets experiment.)

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe."

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain."

Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping" (But thats the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap" (And that would be how?)

Christmas lights; "For indoor and outdoor use only." (As opposed to outer space.)

Food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now I'm curious.)

7 reasons Not to Mess with small children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)

COPY 'N PASTE:

Do YOU remember the 90s??

Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if: You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just can't resist finishing this . . . "In west Philadelphia born and raised . . ." You remember -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not When everything was settled by -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -ms. mary mack When kick ball was a daily activity. When we used to obey our parents You used to listen to the radio all day long just to r ecord your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember The Original Game Boy. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. You remember watching -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow -and Ghostwriter on PBS You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum. You remember watching -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -ghost busters You remember Ring Pops. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players. Making those little paper fortune things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere. One word. . . . . . . .trolls. Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of -Rugrats -Wild Thornberry's -Power Ra ngers -Rocket Power. All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. You collected those Beanie Babies. Carebears Lambchop's song never ended. Silver dollars, which were cool to have. Everyone watched the WB. If you even know what an original walkman is. You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360 . . . Before Spongebob . . . Before Tupac was shot. When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was 0.95 a gallon. When we recorded stuff on VCRs. You had slap bracelets! You Actually played outside until it was dark! Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear. Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days . . . .

Top 100 Reasons Why Edward Cullen is the Best

(This is all from a back of a shirt seen online by Miss Lemci a few days before Breaking Dawn broke out on the shelves xD)

1. he will make you dizzy just by looking into his eyes 2. because he drives like a maniac 3. because he's my brand of heroin 4. because he makes contracting the Spanish influenza sound hot. 5. because he'll love you for your smell and not your looks 6. he'll write you your own lullaby 7. Because he's a lion that fell in love with a lamb 8. Because he makes sick masochism sexy 9. Because he's raised the expectations of teenage girls everywhere 10. Because you have to remind yourself to breathe around him 11. Because even after being alive for well over 100 years, he still has a sense of humor 12. because he'll make you go on LJ fan communities instead of revising for exams like you should be 13. because real men sparkle. 14. because sometimes it's nice to know someone who can lift a van off of you. 15. because he makes 108 years look good. 16. because mind reading is sexy. 17. because he keeps the mongrels away- if you want him to. 18. because he protects his virtue. 19. because he likes to cuddle. 20. because there are more reasons than can fit on the back of a t-shirt. Even an Emmett-sized one. 21. Because he dazzles me. Frequently. 22. Because his kisses drive people wild 23. Because he calls you spider monkey. 24. because he dazzles you without knowing 25. because he can cool you down during a heat wave 26. because he sparkles 27. Because he makes other boys' mix CDs look like child's play. 28. Because he's not afraid to get frisky in a secluded meadow. 29. Because he'll jump in front of you to protect you from mind-torture. 30. Because one little kiss from him is hotter than any french kiss, thank you very much. 31. Because he heavily endorses college. 32. Because he'll watch Romeo & Juliet with you. And recite all of Romeo's lines. 33. Because he couldn't care less about Carlisle trying to play matchmaker with him and the incarnation of pure beauty, Rosalie. 34. Because his hair could give McDreamy a run for his money. 35. Because he knows what you want. 36. Because he listens to Debussy. For fun. 37. Because he prefers brunettes 38. Because he started the trend of calling our kids Edward. 39. He's the ultimate bad boy without being bad. 40. Because he brought sex-hair back in style. (You know it. RPattz. ) 41. Because he loves you. He wants you. Right now. 42. Because he's bringing sexy back. 43. Because he's a 'vegetarian'. (We all know vegetarians are sexy) 44. Because he's rock hard. 45. Because his breath always smells good. 46. Because he'll never criticize your cooking. 47. Because he won't check out other girls. 48. because he will love you forever 49. because he has a crooked smile 50. Because Rob Pattinson makes the best Edward by far... 51. He makes you want to punch a Werewolf in the face 52. because he loves your blood. and your body. it's a tie 53. because he wants marry you! 54. because who WOULDN'T want to snuggle with a marble column?! 55. because his SELF CONTROL will turn you on 56. because he'll make you cold and HOT at the same time 57. Because he'll suck poisoned blood out of your hand if necessary. 58. Because he would dream about you if he could. 59. Because he'll make you faint with his kissing expertise. 60. Because his middle name is sexy 61. Because he'll break jaws for you. 62. because vampires don't need fangs if they're sexy 63. Because he's rich and doesn't give a damn. 64. because Peta agrees he is the sexiest vegetarian around 65. Because he gives you family heirlooms- five carat ones. 66. Because he can behead and dismember a sentient being...but still feel bad that you had to see it. 67. Because his family is the best too. 68. Because he'll serenade you - with something he composed. 69. Because he's your hero and you're his heroin(e). 70. Because he watches over you. 71. Because he'll kill for you. 72. because he's better than your boyfriend 73. Because he simply walks into Mordor 74. Because now every time you see a silver Volvo, you start to hyperventilate/ scream 75. Because he'll stop his car to let the guy behind you ask you to prom... and then completely humiliate him later by taking you there himself. 76. Because he can snap a two-foot-thick branch off a tree like a twig. 77. Because he has excellent fashion sense. 78. Because he'll buy you mushroom ravioli, and ignore the pretty waitress who brings it. 79. Because his smirk isn't snarky 80. Because he growls. In a good way. 81. Because he actually READS good books. 82. Because he'll always put you first. 83. Because he pwnns all other men. 84. Because he'll cut my brakes...because he loves me. 85. Because he bleeds glitter and cries topaz. 86. Because a model would give his soul by his face... literally. 87. because he's your air conditioner. 88. Because instead of being prince and have horse, is vampire and has a Volvo. 89. because his sister can conveniently predict lottery numbers(or stock trends) 90. because he can outrun a cougar ;) 91. you can tell how hungry he is by the color of his eyes 92. Because he is immortal. 93. Because he thinks skipping class is healthy. 94. Because he knows Shakespeare by heart. 95. Because he makes piano playing sexy 96. Because he can stop oncoming cars with his bare hands 97. Because he's an old fashioned gentleman 98. because his lips aren't the only thing that's marble 99. because his fathers a sexy doctor 100. because he's Edward. freaking. Cullen. Written for the people, by the people.

Amen to that! +

Controversial Issues:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans... Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Since When Are There Two Potters? by kirallie reviews
HPNaruto crossover.HarryKakashi eventually. What happens when a certain Wizard finds an unexpected bundle on his doorstep? A shinobi raised as a wizard instead? Totally AU for both although folows HP until Sirius' death.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 34 - Words: 57,178 - Reviews: 1551 - Favs: 2,607 - Follows: 3,197 - Updated: 6/5 - Published: 5/16/2006 - [Harry P., Kakashi H.] Luna L., Sasuke U.
New chance by Hektols reviews
A 10 years old Naruto meets a man who will change his life and the Ninja Nations, but will it be for good? The Yondaime has returned and he is not happy. NaruHina later.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 158 - Words: 573,993 - Reviews: 8417 - Favs: 5,135 - Follows: 4,199 - Updated: 6/5 - Published: 1/30/2008 - [Minato N., Kushina U.] [Naruto U., Hinata H.]
Naruto's Kit 2 by brown phantom reviews
POLL. Four years have passed and Akane Uzumaki has become a ninja. Watch as she follows in her father's footsteps to become the next hokage, all while trying to keep her origins a secret and fighting the threats of her generation.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 58 - Words: 187,996 - Reviews: 563 - Favs: 575 - Follows: 507 - Updated: 6/2 - Published: 2/27/2010 - [Naruto U., Hinata H.] OC
Team 8 by S'TarKan reviews
What if Naruto had been selected for a different team? What if he'd had a different mentor? Who would guess the consequences would be so large?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 276,868 - Reviews: 14071 - Favs: 17,345 - Follows: 14,833 - Updated: 4/23 - Published: 1/1/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Konoha's Yellow Flash Really Hates Paperwork by Sir Chris reviews
Namikaze Minato expected to be the Shinigami's dinner, not his judge of the dead. Now he must spend his days judging those that have died and file the paperwork when he is done. Maybe he should have stayed in the Shinigami's stomach after all. A humorous take on the life of a legend after his death, and what he finds as the years pass.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 48 - Words: 231,309 - Reviews: 2024 - Favs: 1,374 - Follows: 1,140 - Updated: 2/17 - Published: 2/21/2006 - Naruto U., Minato N.
Far From Home by Little Kunai reviews
Akatsuki has been destroyed and the few members left are being hunted down. On sheer accident a badly injured Konan finds herself thrust into the world of witches and wizards and must learn to adapt to survive.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 58,020 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 12/24/2014 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Konan
Hinata Days by AngelChaosGuardian reviews
Based on "Midori Days." What if Hinata found a jutsu for courage that inadvertantly placed her on Naruto's right hand? HinaxNaru
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 49,596 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 11/6/2014 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Hinata H., Naruto U.
Konoha's Mistake by blade4228 reviews
At the age of five Naruto is badly beaten and left for dead. Where Tsunade comes across him and raise him as her own. Will Naruto still dream of being Hokage or has that changed?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 289,328 - Reviews: 2062 - Favs: 3,860 - Follows: 3,352 - Updated: 11/2/2014 - Published: 8/23/2007 - Naruto U., Tsunade S.
Why Kakashi Should Never Read Out Loud by lord of the land of fire reviews
What would happen if Kakashi started reading out loud passages from his favorite book? The idea for this just occurred to me and I wrote it up. Very light hearted please don't take it too seriously!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 35,797 - Reviews: 3272 - Favs: 2,617 - Follows: 1,423 - Updated: 10/30/2014 - Published: 10/26/2007 - Kakashi H. - Complete
Harry's Inheritance by kirallie reviews
Naruto crossover. When Dumbledore died he left Harry with a very interesting bit of inheritance, the foreign teenager he had found unconsious in the forest. Now what is he supposed to do with him? eventual HarryItachi.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,279 - Reviews: 565 - Favs: 1,445 - Follows: 1,994 - Updated: 8/21/2014 - Published: 11/27/2007 - [Harry P., Itachi U.] Naruto U., Kakashi H.
Forging the Sword by Myst Shadow reviews
::Year 2 Divergence:: What does it take, to reshape a child? And if reshaped, what then is formed? Down in the Chamber, a choice is made. (Harry's Gryffindor traits were always so much scarier than other peoples'.)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 152,578 - Reviews: 2868 - Favs: 6,470 - Follows: 7,984 - Updated: 8/19/2014 - Published: 5/26/2007 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G.
Against the Odds by PolarPanther reviews
Who would have thought that Harry Potter had living relatives other than the Durselys? Living relatives he could actually get along with, and were just as odd as he was!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 122,456 - Reviews: 1741 - Favs: 4,037 - Follows: 4,744 - Updated: 5/10/2014 - Published: 9/12/2009 - Harry P., Naruto U.
Trust in the Demon by Fyoex reviews
AR. Naruto is the Kyuubi's son, and has been forced to become a human until he gains his 6th tail, which would be in 600 years. This is his life as a human, in the good times and the bad. NaruHina in later chapters. BEING REWRITTEN (LOOK INSIDE FOR DETAILS)
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 76,050 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 10/17/2013 - Published: 2/14/2009 - [Naruto U., Hinata H.]
Nargles and Wrackspurts by avatargrl11 reviews
Luna Lovegood is coming to Kohona, and it's never gonna be the same again.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 73 - Words: 149,965 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 9/4/2013 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Luna L., Naruto U.
This Calling by kuteluver reviews
Naruto is cutting to escape the pain of this world. Will he do it? No Pairing.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,832 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 5/9/2013 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
That Look by lord of the land of fire reviews
Anko sees something that worries her and decides to do something about it.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 70 - Words: 154,558 - Reviews: 7628 - Favs: 4,945 - Follows: 4,794 - Updated: 4/18/2013 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Anko M., Naruto U.
From His Excerpts by Phoenyxx reviews
Kakashi Hatake and his excerpts of the wizarding world. Hogwarts, ministry politics, Mangekyou Sharingan and...sparking school spirit? "Don't take me as alien! I know your politics." The wizards shared a look. "Alien as foreigner. Here. The-saurus says."
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 78,962 - Reviews: 849 - Favs: 1,474 - Follows: 1,632 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Kakashi H.
The Grizzly Game by Zestylicous reviews
Sakura is forced into a game where losing means losing your soul. As she participates in the chuunin exams she fights off other players and comes to terms with a darker side of herself she never knew she possesed. Can she escape from the game?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 42,896 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 12/29/2012 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Sakura H.
Iruka at Hogwarts by KT-chan88 reviews
Iruka was a sensible man, really. Ok, so jumping into a swirling vortex to save Naruto was not really a work of a sensible man. It seemed like a good idea at the time... NO SLASH
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 38,490 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 681 - Follows: 838 - Updated: 11/18/2012 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Severus S., Iruka U.
Konoha: At His Fingertips by MegaB reviews
Bereft of dreams, adrift in the World, what's a guy to do when his life comes crashing down? Seize it in his hands of course! Big pieces begin to move and Naruto makes his decision; this is his World, Dattebayo!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 30,331 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 1,237 - Follows: 1,430 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 8/22/2010 - Naruto U.
Horcrux Hidden in the Sound by otherrealmwriter reviews
In Malfoy Manor, Voldemort made a deal with Orochimaru: Protect the Diadem of Ravenclaw and I will help you destroy Konoha. Luna Lovegood overhears and lets Harry in on what happened and meet with Team 7 in Shippuden. Slightly AU DH spoilers as well.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,606 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 8/17/2012 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort, Luna L., Orochimaru
Cage of Ink by China Dolly reviews
Neji Hyuuga, Yakuza in the village Kurakai Mura, finds himself with a new family-doctor to deal with when the old one dies. Problem? His son is almost irresistibly attractive and Neji's best friend doesn't like it one bit. Cursing, Yaoi, Violence
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 68,000 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 8/17/2012 - Published: 9/30/2010 - Neji H., Shikamaru N.
The List Redux by superheroine reviews
Sakura has another secret admirer! Gaara's feeling challenged, Ino is clueless, and Sasuke's meddling. This can't end well. / Sequel to The List. Pairings include: GaaraSakura, SasukeSakura, and AkatsukiSakura
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,084 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 8/8/2012 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Sakura H.
The Ice Hound by piercing kage kitsune reviews
Six year old Naruto discovers a unique ice ability during training. Two months later he's chased by a jounin, then saved by an Astral Fox who is the guardian of the Uzumaki clan.NarutoxLucy from Elfen Lied and partial Naruto/Inuyashaxover,colder Naruto.CH 1-10 aren't written as well as CH 11 and on will be. My writing has changed a lot over the hiatus between CH 10 and 11.
Crossover - Naruto & Elfen Lied - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 35,972 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 559 - Follows: 550 - Updated: 7/24/2012 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Naruto U., Lucy / Nyu
You Will Not Hurt My Kit! by knownobody reviews
When Naruto is about to be lynched by a mob of angry villagers, who comes to his aid? Who helps him realise his Dreams? his destiny? and become one of the most powerful beings ever known? femKyunaru family pairing. Disclaimer: I do not own naruto
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,099 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 328 - Updated: 6/6/2012 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Dogtags by TwinTrouble reviews
Pet: n. 1. A fit of bad temper or pique. 2. An animal kept for amusement or companionship. 3. Uzumaki Naruto, host of Kyuubi no Kitsune.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 46,950 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 594 - Follows: 766 - Updated: 5/30/2012 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Naruto U., Kakashi H.
Naruto One Man Team by Ackdam reviews
After graduating from the academy, Naruto starts to reveal his true self. Won't everyone be surprised at what the 'demon' can do?...Powerful Naruto - NaruXHarem - Saku/Sasu/Kiba bashing - Rated M for language, violence and adult themes.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 431,868 - Reviews: 4002 - Favs: 7,015 - Follows: 5,960 - Updated: 5/6/2012 - Published: 1/15/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Resonance by Araceil reviews
Haku survived the Chidori and was found by Tsunade a month before the wizards do. Who is Harry Potter and what does he have to do with Haku? /NOW TO BE REWRITTEN./
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 60,748 - Reviews: 620 - Favs: 1,436 - Follows: 1,322 - Updated: 4/28/2012 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Cedric D., Haku - Complete
Katana by Myrddin Emrys The Third reviews
Sakura is a doctor in the modern world, but an encounter with an ancient sword sends her spinning back in time into the arms of one of the most powerful warriors in history. GaaSaku. Rated M for lemons and graphic scenes, if I can manage it. Rewriting! Also on hiatus too.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,925 - Reviews: 517 - Favs: 464 - Follows: 596 - Updated: 3/15/2012 - Published: 10/3/2009 - [Sakura H., Gaara] Naruto U., Neji H.
The Year Alone by Falcom Whole reviews
If you thought that Harry, Ron and Hermione were having a hard time out, fighting Voldemort regime, I seriously recommend you to think again. Because Hogwarts at that time was nothing short of hell. FULL CANON STORYLINE.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 174,209 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 3/8/2012 - Published: 3/24/2010 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Connections by Sophie3 reviews
HP/Naruto It was the kind of stupid crazy thing that would happen in one of ero-sensei’s novels. But this Potter kid was Sasuke’s family, which made him Team 7 family and there was no way in hell they were going to let any murdering brother take that away
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 110,986 - Reviews: 2364 - Favs: 2,620 - Follows: 3,235 - Updated: 2/29/2012 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Harry P., Sasuke U.
Hanging by a Moment by Unwritten.25 reviews
HPNaruto crossover. SLASH. When Naruto ends up at Hogwarts due to a freak accident, he attaches himself to the most unapproachable person there. But that's Naruto for you. SSNU
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 101,619 - Reviews: 1156 - Favs: 1,513 - Follows: 1,812 - Updated: 2/17/2012 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Severus S., Naruto U.
Show Me a Hero by JadeCrescent Fallen reviews
What if Konoha was the weakest hidden village? What if it was just a huge slum? The Rookie 9 have just graduated, and now they must face their problems to better the future of Konoha. An epic tale of romance, determination, and hardship.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 207,852 - Reviews: 249 - Favs: 258 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 11/12/2006
The Obsession by Desert.Moon reviews
Takara grew up hearing tales of "the child-monster," who ate small, badly behaving children. The day she turned six, she discovered that the child-monster was actually a child: Gaara. Now, an unhealthy obsession has been born...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 117 - Words: 203,331 - Reviews: 1641 - Favs: 703 - Follows: 402 - Updated: 1/29/2012 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Gaara, OC - Complete
En Route by Embarr reviews
Years after Voldemort's death, Harry and Luna's journey in search of mysterious objects lands them in the Hidden Countries. They must collect the lost pieces of a forgotten past while facing the world of ninjas. Things are going to be interesting...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 33,315 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 469 - Follows: 602 - Updated: 1/26/2012 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Harry P., Naruto U.
Damaged by Faust VII reviews
At the moment he saw the depth of human cruelty he lost his love for Konoha. He smiled for them, laughed for them, loved them...but they hated him, tortured him, broke him. Dark Naruto. I Do Not Own Naruto. -Slash-
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 62,421 - Reviews: 1024 - Favs: 2,602 - Follows: 1,407 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 3/13/2009 - Naruto U. - Complete
Online Offline by lgmrkm reviews
Bella is being forced into a future she doesn't want. Her only true friend and confidante is a boy online whose name she doesn't even know. When she moves from San Francisco to Forks her online and offline world collide. Better sum inside. AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 292,424 - Reviews: 682 - Favs: 836 - Follows: 483 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 9/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Naruto Ninja for Hire by The rEsistance Cero Doble reviews
Naruto is a ninja for hire with exceptional skill, but what if his next mission is to protect a girl, but he slowly starts to feel a way he's never felt before…sucks when you're not trained for love NaruHina
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 22,573 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 12/5/2011 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
The Way It Was Meant To Be by TheNewestCullenKid reviews
4 months after Edward leaves Bella, one Cullen can't forget her but when he gets to Forks, things will never be the same. Better summary inside. Non-Canon Pairings. B/J E/A Em/R P/Char.Rated M for Language and Violence in future chapters. Now Complete!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 83,366 - Reviews: 1063 - Favs: 888 - Follows: 529 - Updated: 11/30/2011 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Strength of Brothers by MagicallyInclined reviews
Everyone knows how Harry Potter and Naruto Uzumaki grew up alone and unwanted. What if they had someone to talk to, learn from and depend on? What if they had each other?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 32 - Words: 203,334 - Reviews: 1200 - Favs: 2,079 - Follows: 1,561 - Updated: 11/11/2011 - Published: 1/30/2008 - Harry P., Naruto U. - Complete
The Path To My Soul by cullen818 reviews
Jasper leaves the Cullens and rejoins Peter and Char, but unforeseen circumstances bring him back to Forks. Will he be able to pick up the pieces of his life and find happiness? What does Bella have to do with all of this? PART II NOW POSTING!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 96,543 - Reviews: 2957 - Favs: 1,385 - Follows: 924 - Updated: 11/3/2011 - Published: 2/10/2011 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Gohan's Dilemma by WingedFreedom622 reviews
An accident at Capsule Corps. results with Gohan ending up in the world of the shinobi! What will the hybrid saiyan do! Pre-timeskip. Starts during the Wave Arc. FINAL CHAPTER AND EPILOGUE UP!
Crossover - Dragon Ball Z & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 46 - Words: 288,124 - Reviews: 1600 - Favs: 1,102 - Follows: 656 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 1/20/2008 - Gohan, Sakura H. - Complete
Accomplices by Willow-Bee the Cat reviews
Hermione’s curiosity about precisely how Voldemort survived becoming disembodied leads to surprising places. And that changes everything. Or, Hermione is given an impossible task and Itachi makes a friend his family would not approve of. Non-Massacre AU
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 50,594 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 335 - Follows: 412 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Hermione G., Itachi U.
Ice Cold by Kyuubi no Kitsune0101 reviews
He was different from everyone else. His eyes showed his emotions that his face couldn't. He was suicidal before he could read. She helped rescue him from the darkness of two deaths and a betrayal. She watched him become the hero in the fairytales. NxK AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 57,065 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 305 - Updated: 7/7/2011 - Published: 9/6/2009 - Naruto U., Kurenai Y.
A Mile in Your Eyes by Araceil reviews
When Harry is left on Petunia's doorstep, she panics and writes a letter to her estranged older sister who eloped some years ago with a foreigner, Rosemary Evans. Four years later, it arrives on her doorstep, only her name is Kaede Haruno now.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: K - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,276 - Reviews: 573 - Favs: 1,442 - Follows: 1,685 - Updated: 6/4/2011 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Harry P., Sakura H.
The Black Fox by wilkins75 reviews
Four years since Naruto was killed by Sasuke, Sakura has promised herself to finish Naruto's work and bring Sasuke back but Naruto is far from dead. He has been training with the 9 tailed fox and now has return however is he the same person? Naruto/Sakura
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 100 - Words: 270,093 - Reviews: 2767 - Favs: 1,833 - Follows: 902 - Updated: 5/19/2011 - Published: 3/22/2010 - Naruto U., Sakura H. - Complete
The New Sannin by King Hawke reviews
The Sannin stick together, and are hated by the village for various reasons. they notice that the "hero" Naruto is treated poorly too, so they all leave to form their own village. They train Naruto to be the Next Sannin.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,891 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 5/14/2011 - Published: 12/18/2008
Lightning on the Wave by Araceil reviews
Serpent in the Shadows, challenge 12. Sent to spy on the Hidden Countries, Harry Potter ends up heading home earlier than planned with a certain Uchiha Obito in tow. Slash. Character Death. Minato/Harry, Obito/Rin
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 58,868 - Reviews: 814 - Favs: 1,590 - Follows: 1,810 - Updated: 4/16/2011 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Harry P., Minato N.
Darkness Arrives in Groups by brodiie reviews
Evie, arrives at her uncle Charlies house in Forks to stay for the summer break, she meets her cousin Bella, who seems all new to her. It doesn't take her long to figure everything out and fall for the friendly Jacob Black.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 28,499 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/15/2011 - Published: 1/1/2011 - Bella, Charlie S.
How It Feels To Hatch by Zeer reviews
Shino's bugs decide to take his destiny into their hands. See how Shino's life, and those around him, change as a result.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 146,205 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 4/8/2011 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Shino A., Naruto U.
Imprinting Changes All by DreamingPoet1988 reviews
Complete- Seth is tiered of being alone. What happens when the attractive bronze hair vampire that just happens to walk right into his home and heart? A Shifter Imprint story with a twist unlike I've ever seen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 23,768 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 4/2/2011 - Published: 12/20/2010 - Edward, Seth - Complete
Meeting Naruto by kerrieleigh reviews
DISCONTINUED. Naruto is 7 years old when he decides to run away from Konoha. But what will happen when he meets a stranger? And why does the blonde-haired man look so familiar...
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 20 - Words: 57,744 - Reviews: 1428 - Favs: 1,817 - Follows: 1,778 - Updated: 4/2/2011 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Minato N., Naruto U.
A Demon's Angel by Pirates VS Ninjas reviews
What if Naruto was really a girl and was being sheltered by the Hokage in a forest inside of the village?What if after Itachi 'killed' his clan,she finds him near death and saves his life?Their lives are soon intertwined with each other,Full Sum Inside On Hold for now
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 56,945 - Reviews: 410 - Favs: 938 - Follows: 886 - Updated: 2/23/2011 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Shikamaru N., Naruto U.
The Blackest Ink by Timballisto reviews
Harry supposed Karma had it in for him, what, with him being engaged, enslaved, mutated, spit on, and generally being abused. However, he never really guesed how much Luck loved him as well. HarryHina friend/romanceship !HIATUS!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,461 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 336 - Updated: 2/10/2011 - Published: 7/1/2009 - Harry P., Hinata H.
Hikari: Path of The Avenger by Sapphire-Raindrop reviews
I never knew who I was, really. I mean sure, my name was Lily Thompson, but I always had the feeling that I was something...more. That all changed the day I fell into the arms of a black haired boy whose eyes were like onyx...the onyx eyes of an avenger.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 47 - Words: 166,477 - Reviews: 469 - Favs: 300 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 1/12/2011 - Published: 11/15/2009 - Sasuke U. - Complete
A Class Act by Blue Quartz Foxy reviews
Collab with Sunny AU: Hinata is determined to become a more confident person. To help reach her goal, she signs up to be student dorm manager. Due to a mix-up, she winds up being in charge of a boy dormitory. Hilarity, crack pairings, and insanity ensues.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 46,662 - Reviews: 209 - Favs: 185 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 1/3/2011 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Hinata H.
A Marriage Inconvenienced by lulu42 reviews
The math was simple: Him plus Her equaled genius. It's really a pity he forgot to mention it. KakaSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 94,212 - Reviews: 665 - Favs: 800 - Follows: 701 - Updated: 12/10/2010 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Kakashi H., Sakura H.
Sphere of Influence by Orodruin reviews
A personal matter can never stay personal forever. Voldemort wreaks havoc, Kakashi struggles to find balance between his duty and protecting his brother, Harry tries not to get involved, and being declared AWOL is the least of their troubles. APM Sequel.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 35 - Words: 232,941 - Reviews: 1625 - Favs: 1,209 - Follows: 873 - Updated: 12/6/2010 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Harry P., Kakashi H. - Complete
Elementa Love by DarkDragonFlameingIce reviews
Tsukiyo was the 'weird' girl because of ability to use both fire & water jutsu without ninjitsu. Due to her heart disease her dreams of being a ninja are crushed. Will Kakashi lift her spirits? KakashixOc
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 28,680 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 5/13/2006 - Kakashi H.
Raped by LoZfanchick reviews
Itachi rapes Naruto, what will happen when Sasuke finds out? short chapters, sasunaru and itanaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 28,214 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 606 - Follows: 255 - Updated: 9/13/2010 - Published: 7/12/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Copy Cat and his Uncle's Grandson by Knightowl 4183 reviews
It was just a routine intelligence gathering mission to one of the before lands, existing before the exodus and besides the Elemental Nations, so Kakashi wonders how he got stuck with his long absent Uncle's stick waving grandson? Answer to a challenge. abandoned due to lack of direction
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 9/7/2010 - Published: 11/8/2009 - Harry P., Kakashi H. - Complete
Konoha: Naruto's Playground by MegaB reviews
When Naruto finally decides that the Konoha populace doesn't deserve his protection, he moves to another goal...Have fun! But his fun turns to fear when his vow to never fight as a Shinobi is broken.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 53 - Words: 291,882 - Reviews: 4060 - Favs: 3,564 - Follows: 2,087 - Updated: 8/22/2010 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
Lion King: Naruto Style by worlds-darkness reviews
Naruto is the son of Minato who is the current Hokage of Konoha. When Orochimaru starts plotting against his relatives in order to take over Minato's position as Hokage, what will happen?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 24,529 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/21/2010 - Published: 12/7/2009 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
A Champion's New Hope by Rocag reviews
Beginning during the Goblet of Fire, Harry looks to different friends for support after both Ron and Hermione refuse to believe that he did not put his name in the Goblet. Including one unexpected friend: Daphne Greengrass.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 52 - Words: 274,401 - Reviews: 3822 - Favs: 7,238 - Follows: 3,921 - Updated: 7/23/2010 - Published: 7/24/2009 - Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
It's good to smile by Seria KE reviews
At time we are in the darkness. This is no exception for Naruto Uzumaki. After a bad run in with Sasuke he is left in dispair. But this new little girl no older than three comes into the picture. Can she help him smile agian?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,714 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/17/2010 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Vindico Atrum by FirePhoenix8 reviews
Harry carves out his own path to become something beyond a Dark Lord. Durmstrang, Dark Arts, dueling, powers, heritage, horcruxes, hallows, Necromancy, Voldemort, Tom, Draco, Grindelwald. Sequel to The Black Heir.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 722,689 - Reviews: 2888 - Favs: 1,820 - Follows: 1,822 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort
Lux Aeterna by Redflash's Legacy reviews
As an agreed negotiation, Naruto is sent to a school to study witchcraft and wizardry at... Durmstrang? How will Naruto cope being a student at the Durmstrang Institute? Naruto and Harry Potter crossover. NarutoxFleur R&R
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 37,538 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 431 - Follows: 423 - Updated: 7/4/2010 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Fleur D., Naruto U.
Fox Sage by pharaoh-90 reviews
What if the fox decides to help Naruto, instead of hurt him? How will everyone react when they learn that not only has the fox trained Naruto, but he is free as well? -on hiatus pending the development of a plot-
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 73,655 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 6/17/2010 - Published: 1/28/2010 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Blood Red Ice by Kinokiita-tenshi reviews
Uzumaki Naruto is gone, vanished just like his mentor. And lately a new power is being introduced to the shinobi world. Konoha, meet Red Ice. This story is dead and decayed. Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 26,300 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 5/26/2010 - Published: 10/9/2009 - Naruto U., Tsunade S.
The Shinigami's Gift by ookami567 reviews
After seeing Naruto's heart remain pure even with the villagers' hatred, the Shinigami decides to give him a gift, but only if he passes a test. Will Naruto pass the test, and if he does, what will his gift be?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,290 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 410 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 9/5/2009 - Naruto U., Minato N.
If You're Not Dead by XxFearTheFluffxX reviews
They say the best answers are the ones you find yourself. My own philosophy, the answer I found, is: 'If you're not dead, you have nothing to complain about.'. It's really too bad that the best answers aren't always the right ones. DeidaraXOC
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 162,533 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 3/23/2010 - Published: 7/25/2008 - Deidara, Obito U./Tobi - Complete
Unmei by D'MoNiQ reviews
After the final battle, Harry arrives in the newly-formed Konoha, where he has to find a reason to live & his place among the ppl that would become more important than he could ever imagine. SLASH! possible Harry/Tobirama or Harry/Madara or Harry/Izuna
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 16,904 - Reviews: 447 - Favs: 705 - Follows: 770 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Harry P., Tobirama S.
ETERNAL LOVE by Amethyst-Gem reviews
Confessing his love to Sasuke in the few minutes after they're in an accident, he's crushed to find out he's blind,thinking Sasuke will no longer care for him. Sasuke proves him wrong and he and Itachi bring him into their home hoping to help! SASUNARU!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,533 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 2/27/2010 - Published: 1/13/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The First Breath by LaViePastiche reviews
When grief and uncertainty threaten to drown you, how do you catch your breath? For Support Stacie Auction winner JAustenlover. Collab with ElleCC. AH. Bella/Jasper.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 100,161 - Reviews: 1017 - Favs: 480 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 2/25/2010 - Published: 1/3/2010 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Dream of Gumiho by Hiira reviews
After being turned into a magical creature by Voldemort Harry is on the run. He will embark on a journey to the Land of Fire once he learns that he still have one remaining family - a brother alive.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,035 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 485 - Published: 2/9/2010 - Harry P.
Naruto Hatake by Agent-G reviews
AU. What if Naruto had been raised by Kakashi his entire life and how would raising Naruto change Kakashi's life as well? NarutoHinata, KakashiAnko later on.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 63 - Words: 315,249 - Reviews: 3390 - Favs: 4,700 - Follows: 2,497 - Updated: 1/31/2010 - Published: 9/25/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Revealing A Kitsune by Kanemoshi reviews
When Kiba learns the disturbing truth about Naruto, he finally gets to know the lonely teen behind that impossibly happy mask, and when he tries to save Naruto from himself, what was once rivalry becomes much more than friendship. KibaNaruto Warning: Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 166,438 - Reviews: 624 - Favs: 917 - Follows: 500 - Updated: 1/13/2010 - Published: 5/10/2006 - Kiba I., Naruto U. - Complete
Once a Wizard, Always a Shinobi by KingofLoosePages reviews
Naruto HP Harry falls through a portal into the middle of an Anbu meeting. From there it's Inuzuka, survival, and a contract with Remus Lupin? SLASH SHOUNEN AI
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 52 - Words: 120,061 - Reviews: 1869 - Favs: 1,454 - Follows: 890 - Updated: 1/7/2010 - Published: 6/24/2007 - Harry P., Kiba I. - Complete
Hope Will Bring Us Home by cullen818 reviews
Final installment in my Fate/Love/Hope trilogy. Read Fate Has Brought Us Here and then Love Will Keep Us There first. J/B never saw these events coming...can they save their family before it's too late? Team Jasper story!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 27 - Words: 108,880 - Reviews: 1813 - Favs: 825 - Follows: 367 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
NecroNaruto by Mugan Von Hellscream reviews
Naruto a necromancer. dark fic... yeah
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,229 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 12/14/2009 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Naruto U., Tenten
Asylum by Amy Hirosaki reviews
AU, NejiLee, future NejiGaaSasu, Shonen ai. Screw Faith! Hyuuga Neji, Boy Genius, fakes having a disorder in order to escape his destiny. It works, and he ends up in an institution. But even Boy Geniuses can’t predict every single thing...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 47,268 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 11/30/2009 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Neji H., Lee R. - Complete
First Hunt by sandydragon reviews
The very first hunts of some of the creatures in Naruto. Rated T for blood and violence in later chapters.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/24/2009 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Kyuubi/Kurama, Shukaku - Complete
The Uzumaki Clan by Maori Hard reviews
As Mizuki reveals the hidden truth, the Uzumaki clan and Whirlpool has had enough of Naruto's mistreatment and demand him back, this will lead to paths that has Whirlpool emerge as the country to be feared. NaruTem, AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 50,130 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 756 - Follows: 762 - Updated: 11/19/2009 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Naruto U., Temari
The Hope of a New Dawn by TenraiSenshi reviews
Naruto is captured by Akatsuki at an early age, however, in a twist of fate, some of Akatsuki's own decide to free him from captivity. Now see Naruto as he grows up under the protection of his new misfit caretakers, and the journey of life they share.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 16,234 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 225 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Naruto U., Itachi U.
From Blood Comes Cleansing by Pagan Blood reviews
Naruto tired of being hated has turned his back on the village and into the arms of one Itachi Uchiha. Abused as a child he is sent from the village and has every intention of destroying it. Dark Naruto fic, AU, ItaNaru, Some NaruKashi and KyuuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 35,627 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 10/25/2009 - Published: 2/27/2009 - Naruto U., Itachi U.
Highschool Sandbox by arashi wolf princess reviews
Gaara had always been able to control the sand that called to him. What happens when Gaara gets caught in the act at his new high school? NejiGaara
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,904 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 10/18/2009 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Gaara, Neji H.
Fate Has Brought Us Here by cullen818 reviews
Set two years after New Moon. Edward never came back and Bella is at college trying to pull her life together. She meets up with the one Cullen she never thought she could have anything in common with. Definately a Team Jasper story. Rated M for lemons
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 92,732 - Reviews: 2531 - Favs: 2,382 - Follows: 783 - Updated: 10/16/2009 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Breaking the Impossible by Emmelie Cullen reviews
They told her it was impossible to live forever. She did. Impossible to find love that lasts for an eternity. She did. They told her it was impossible for a vampire to have a baby too... Rosalie Hale is about to make the impossible the extraordinary.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 49 - Words: 94,056 - Reviews: 960 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 10/2/2009 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Rosalie, Emmett
Love Will Keep Us There by cullen818 reviews
Newborn Bella is experiencing things that no vampire should.Something is terribly wrong, but what? STORY CONTAINS MATURE/DARK/ANGST. DON'T READ if that's not your thing. Sequel to Fate Has Brought Us Here.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 46 - Words: 176,708 - Reviews: 4433 - Favs: 1,446 - Follows: 633 - Updated: 9/17/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Sedition by Just Maya reviews
Anko way of showing that she's mad with the way the village treats her is leaving Konoha and joining with public enemy number one. Please Read and Review.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 60 - Words: 85,881 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/4/2009 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Anko M., Orochimaru - Complete
Its A Vampire Thing by TheWindAlchemist reviews
The Akatsuki are a group of feared vampires.Hinata,clinging to her last breath,begs one of them to take her with him after slaughtering her entire family. He agrees. DeiHina. .:Epilogue:.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 61,286 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 5/8/2009 - Published: 10/2/2008 - Deidara, Hinata H. - Complete
Mute by TinEli reviews
Mute from trauma, how's a girl to find love without the ability to speak? SasuSaku. R&R please. T for later content
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,539 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 3/16/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Alive by snuggled reviews
Kimimaro is diagnosed with schizophrenia, until its discovered to be a misdiagnosis. Sold away to the mental institution by his parents, his only source of comfort is the homicidally inclined Juugo, a new patient. Dark boy-love at its finest.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,427 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 1/12/2009 - Published: 11/12/2008 - Kimimaro, Juugo
Will of Fire by Mystic Dragon reviews
When the Yondaime had no choice but to sacrifice himself to stop his wife from her rampage, it left their two year old, part fox son, Naruto, an orphan. Luckily, the Sandaime put him in the capable, caring hands of the four biggest village misfits. AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 97,205 - Reviews: 420 - Favs: 615 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 1/4/2009 - Published: 11/13/2008 - Iruka U., Anko M., Itachi U., Kakashi H. - Complete
No need to bother, I know by Em0tionally UnStAbL3 reviews
Naruto snaps, in the wrong. SUICIDE. SUICIDE. SUICIDE. Do not read if you hate Suicde one shots.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 16 - Published: 10/5/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
ANBU BRAT by Naruto-pwns-Kyuubi reviews
On duty ANBU are the elite, cold hard killers and perhaps the last thing you'll ever see, but when at a young age Naruto goes to live at ANBU HQ for his own safety everything changes. Please R&R. I don't own Naruto. NOT ABANDONED 23-06-2010 -SEE PROFILE
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 254,601 - Reviews: 2678 - Favs: 4,053 - Follows: 3,429 - Updated: 7/18/2008 - Published: 1/9/2007 - Naruto U.
sad love by yrume reviews
SasoDei - shounen ai/yaoi - A very emotional story about the slowly developing relationship between Sasori and Deidara. Please only read if you don't get triggered easily - plot deals with depression, self-injury, violence, abuse
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,709 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 18 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Deidara, Sasori
The Life and Story of Hinata by Lumberry reviews
She's depressed constantly until she meets a few very special people who pull her out of darkness. There's Naruto and Ino not to mention possible relationships with Kiba, Sasuke...or are these just more complications to throw her into depression again?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 21 - Words: 27,914 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/13/2007 - Published: 11/22/2007 - Hinata H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Ink by Gender Outlaw reviews
Sai draws on paper. Naruto draws on people. [Dark!Naruto]
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 286 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 12 - Published: 10/10/2007 - Sai, Naruto U. - Complete
Suicide by rockerchild reviews
Some Naruto Charaters Commit Suicide
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 857 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 5/16/2007 - Published: 4/3/2007 - Complete
How To Raise Naruto? by yurok reviews
This story started before naruto been born just a few hour and when the fourth dies naruto its adopted by kakashi. Kakarin, Naru? I made some editing in all the chapters
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 37,826 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 5/14/2007 - Published: 5/28/2005 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Kakashi's Very Important Task by Orodruin reviews
Now that he's turned four, Kakashi can do a lot of things. After managing to convince his father that he's no longer a child, Sakumo assigns him a very important task while he's gone. Kakashi finds it to be a little more difficult than he thought.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,401 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 16 - Published: 5/12/2007 - Kakashi H. - Complete
Kit by darkcollision reviews
Kit has one meaning but that meaning means many animals, and Naruto just can't understand why Kyuubi is calling him a kit. Humor oneshot
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 200 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Kyuubi/Kurama, Naruto U. - Complete
Goth Medicine by Rakusu reviews
Who would've thought such a dark past could make you turn Goth? Now Hinata must cure the pained half human half demon. But what happens when the Hyuuga family decides to sell Hinata to the Uchihas? How will Gaara deal by being turned into a FULL human?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,856 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/31/2006 - Published: 8/12/2006 - Gaara, Hinata H.
Summer Interlude by MidnightWalking reviews
Summer Interlude picks up after the prom and is told from Bella and Edwards PoV. It will cover summer vacation and their developing relationship. For those who haven't read this story and for those who have, I'm in the process of editing and revising.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 22 - Words: 149,473 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 334 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 8/22/2006 - Published: 4/9/2006 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Depressing Moments by Dragonfly and K-chan reviews
Short, depressing moments of insight from various Naruto characters.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 956 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/18/2006
Serves Him Right by Dendraica reviews
When a new 'Defense Against The Dark Arts' teacher comes to Hogwarts, she turns out to be meaner than Snape. But guess to who? No, not Harry. Draco Malfoy is the victim this time. Should Harry do something? Or does it serve Draco right? Dobby fans, your f
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 34,233 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/1/2001 - Published: 9/3/2000
Harry Potter and the School of the Dark Arts Ch. 1 by Mewgirl reviews
The beginning of Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/6/1999