gubgub434
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Joined 11-01-08, id: 1730299, Profile Updated: 03-20-13

I've been told that my pen name sounds like a fruity chewy candy, I agree with that statement 100 percent


Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
(James Rodges, murderer, on his final
request before the firing squad)

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage, Mythbusters

"I think, therefore I get a headache."

I smile because I have no idea what's going on."

""Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil."

"NATIONAL SARCASM SOCIETY: Like we need your support."

"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired."

If you are insanely weird, copy this into your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this in your profile.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

It takes 17 muscles’ to smile, 4 to frown, and none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

So what's the speed of dark?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk; I have a work station...

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why is round pizza in a square box?

Why do people say that they slept like a baby when babies sleep for only two hours?

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

WARNING: keep out of children. (Translation on Korean Knife box)

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid/obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad' to the Animorphs' version of the Barney Song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family...), to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you find yourself making fanfictions of other fanfictions in your head, post this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.(neat metaphor)

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

Behind every untrusting girl is someone who made her that way & she's so scared to get close to anyone because everyone who said they'd never leave...left just because she comes off strong doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying & even though she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe, just maybe -- she's really good at lying

After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist finally said to me, "Maybe...life isn't for everyone

Docters say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at people you hate.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever hate someone with a firey passion and wished they were tourtured in some horrific way, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you plan to not loose your virginity until you are married, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
When Life gives you lemons squirt them in Life's eyes!!
A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes your and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

A friend wants to make you smile, a best friend knows to stay as far away as possible from you when you're smiling.

Lets see, 14 boxes, 6 mews across 5 mews down, uh huh..
6x5=30x14= ...oh shit...
Alright, im off to antarctica where the penguins rule... leaving my pokemon games behind..

Remember to spay or neuter your... Mews... Or else they'll be running around with your head on a stick in no time!

"Your PSYDUCK has been bitten by a BAD EGG. When a POKEMON is bitten by a BAD EGG, (somehow, we programmed it without teeth)it will turn into a BAD EGG immediately. SOLUTIONS - Grab a fucking gun and go RAMBO! (we also programmed them to multiply in some way, even though they dont have -- lets not go that far.)"

Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums". Neither does he respond favourably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".

I may be a fangirl, but at least I'm domesticated and I've had my rabies shot.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile...

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have just realized that when you argue with yourself, part of you always loses, and have facepalmed or headtreed as a result, copy this into your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

Fear not the darkness, merely what it hides...

No trespassing, violators will be shot, and survivors will be shot again.

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face. Not sure how many it takes to flip you off and say "Bite Me."

If you always stop to smell the roses, sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.

HATE EMO? READ THIS:

Are you laughing?

Isn't it funny an "emo" can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity? ISN'T IT FUNNY that you don't mind your friends drinking, smoking, but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?

I'm not laughing.

IT'S SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girl's life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting. ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.

HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOU'RE NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS?

KEEP ON LAUGHING

Isn't it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this person's life, without knowing her situation with her friends, or her family, or her LIFE?

BRAVE ISN'T GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING. BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH. OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND.

BRAVE IS:

GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WHORES AROUND YOU ARE SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES.ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT. ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET. ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS. BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE. ITS ANOTHER DAY OF BITCHING AND DODGING RUMORS. KEEP ON LAUGHING.
If you agree, copy and paste into your profile.

HATE PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT? CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:

It's the same story everyday: A girl in dark colors gets off the worst bus you can imagine, you know, the one with all the dumber-than-dirt country kids who are swearing every five words, listening to a punk rock/gothic rock/heavy metal/or any other dark music. She shuts off the cd player/MP3/ipod and walks into the school. You and your friends are standing inside because you're too wussy to stand outside in LATE MAY in you pretty new Capri pants and new Hollister t-shirt.

You point at her and whisper to your friends about how out-of-touch she is because she's dressed in a baggy hooded sweatshirt and frayed old jeans and she's maintaining a 3.785-4.0 GPA on a 4.0 scale while you're boardline failing. You loudly insult her and talk to her in an obnoxious voice. She just keeps her head down and shuffles right by.

You laugh loudly and say, "How could you have gotten that one wrong? Even a fifth grader knows that!" when she answers a question wrong in class. You and friends push her around in the hallways and trip her in the stairwells. You think she should start drooling over the boys at school and should wear the same clothes you do.

And yet, no matter what you do, she doesn't say anything.

Isn't it hilarious that she can be quiet all week, but still have to put up with more shit than the whore giving out free blowjobs on the bus? ISN'T IT FUNNY that you don't mind fucking a random guy every night, but you go around ripping on her just because she studies in the library every night? Isn't it just bloody fucking hilarious that she needs to sign a pass to the bathroom just to run into an empty classroom to cry at least once a week?

Are you laughing yet?

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED WHAT HER LIFE IS LIKE?

HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU GO UP TO HER FACE AND TRASH HER GOOD NAME, CALLING HER A 'FREAKY GOTH WANNABE' OR A 'WEEPY-WASHY ATTENTION SEEKER', AND NOT ONCE STOP AT ALL TO CONSIDER WHY YOU NEVER SEE HER PARENTS AROUND, OR WHY SHE ALWAYS WEARS LONG SLEEVES, EVEN IN THE SUMMER?

HOW IN GOD'S GOOD NAME CAN YOU TREAT HER LIKE SHIT JUST BECAUSE SHE THE ONE PERSON YOU CAN NEVER BE: HERSELF UNTO HERSELF?

THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN BEING AN IDIOT AND BEING BRAVE.

BEING BRAVE IS NOT GIVING RANDOM GUYS A BLOWJOB IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. IT IS NOT FUCKING SOME RANDOM GUY ON FRIDAY NIGHT JUST TO SAY YOU FUCKED HIM. BEING BRAVE ISN'T TALKING TO SOME GUY OR DUMPING YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND.

BEING BRAVE IS TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK WHEN PEOPLE SLAP YOU. IT'S FORGETTING THE INSULTS AND REMEBERING THE COMMENTS. TRUE BRAVERY IS GOING TO A SCHOOL WHERE YOU SHOULD FEEL SAFE AND INSTEAD, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MARCHING RIGHT INTO HELL. TRUE BRAVERY IS BEING TRUE TO THE ONE PERSON, THE ONLY PERSON, WHO MATTERS: YOU.

KEEP LAUGHING, YOU COCK-SUKCING BITCHES, CAUSE I'M GOING FAR AND YOU'RE HARDLY MOVING.

My life has been beyond boring. Nothing of great importance, good or bad, has happened to me. Copy this into your profile if your life is boring.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

Stop 4Kids!

When 4Kids dub anime, they get crappy voice actors, take out all signs of Japan, change a manga that's meant for teenagers to be okay for kids, take out all the Japanese music, replace great lines with crappy, cliched puns that are only funny for children, and change great Japanese names to stupid American names (to further Americanize it) They even change the names of FOOD! Copy and paste in your profile if you agree that 4Kids must DIE!

ATTENTION: IF YOU ARE ON THE TOP OF 4KIDS MOST WANTED DEAD LIST, OR WANT TO BE JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT, JOIN ME IN DESTROYING 4KIDS! SAVE FUTURE GENERATIONS FROM HAVINE TO WATCH CRAPPILY DUBBED ANIME!

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm skinny, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE OTAKU, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm STRAIGHT so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, So I must be gay
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT,so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist

Life is like a broken pencil - Pointless -

pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

Why should I come back if at least four of you in this group have tried to kill me? While one successed."-Jack Sparrow

Some Guy: You're mad.
Jack Sparrow: Thank god. If I weren't, this would never work.

Some people are alive because it's illegal to kill them

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Darth Vader-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
Luke Skywalker-Nah, the rebels have cake.
Darth Vader-ooh! Can I be a rebel?!

"Why are some girls so naive? He didn't unbutton your shirt to see a better view of your heart."

"You don't die of a broken heart...you only wish you did"

So here's to teenage romance, and not knowing why it hurts like hell

This is to every girl that has been
cheated on,
because she's NOT a slut who gives it up to any guy.

To every girl that
dresses cute,
not skanky.

To every girl who
wants to be called
beautiful, not hot.

To every girl that will spend her
whole day looking
for the perfect present for you.

To every girl who gets her heart
broken, because he
chose that bitch instead.

To every girl that would die
to have a decent boyfriend.

To every girl who would just once
like to be treated like a princess.

To every girl that cries at night
because of another heartbreak.

To every girl that won't get
down on her knees open
her mouth just to get a boyfriend.

To every girl that
just wants to hold hands.

To every girl that
kisses him with meaning.

To every girl who
just wishes he cared more.

To every girl who would just
once want a guy to give their
jacket up when they are cold.

To every girl who
just wants him to call.

To every girl who lies
awake at night thinking about him.

To every girl that
just wants to cuddle.

To every girl that
just wants to sleep with
him without having sex.

To every girl who shows how much
she cares and gets nothing back.

To every girl that thought
"maybe this one could be the one."

To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff
when she actually doesn't think it's funny

To every girl who is just
looking for that one and
only. and is having a rough
time along the way.

To every girl that doesn't want
a guy who just plays with her
emotions but actually cares about
how she feels.

To every girl who wants
words backed up with actions.

To every girl that fell for all the lies
only to find themselves alone in the end.

To every girl that gave her heart away
to have it shoved back in her face.

to every girl who thought that moving
away from the one they loved would tear
her and that person apart cuz some other
bitch might get in the way

To every girl that has faith that
"tomorrow will be a better day."

It will be.


JOIN THE ICHIRUKI PARADE

SPREAD LOVE THE ICHIRUKI WAY.

If you believe that Ichigo and Rukia are meant for each other, paste this in your profile.

If you believe that Black Sun is meant for White Moon, paste this in your profile.

If you believe that Rukia belongs to Ichigo and Ichigo belongs to Rukia, paste this in your profile.

If you believe that they are perfect for each other, paste this in your profile.

If you believe that they love each other, paste this in your profile.

If you do not believe in IchiHime, paste this in your profile.

If you hate IchiHime, paste this in your profile.

If you believe that IchiRuki shall prevail, paste this in your profile.

IF YOU LOVE ICHIRUKI, PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Holister said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing their asses off

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you

Here are a few simple things to remember in life:

1. People are all bastards, bastard coated bastards with bastard filling and that will not change so make the best of it.

2. When life gives you shit, throw it back

3. Bottling up anger is bad, so when someone pisses you off lay that fucker out

4. Life is a bitch, so make it yours

5. When some makes you mad it takes 40 some odd number of muscles to frown, it only takes 4 to pull the trigger and shoot that fool

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” - E.L. Doctorow

“If there is a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.” -Toni Morrison

“Substitute 'damn' every time you feel inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” -Mark Twain

The cake is a LIE!

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile. (anybody still play 'Risk'?)

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

To error is human, to seek revenge is divine.

You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same"

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
and so are you.
But the roses are wilted,
the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl is empty
and so is your head!"

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk besides me either. Just leave me the hell alone!

HOW I EXPLAIN LIFE AND DEATH...

Life, is like God's way of kicking your sorry ass out of heaven and yelling, "AND DON'T COME BACK!!"

Death, is like God's way of dragging you back up to heaven by your collar, mumbling, "Okay, I think you've done enough damage..."

"Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation, we'd all run around in a dark room munching pills and listening to repetitive music."

If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life copy and paste this onto your profile.


1. Tosen

2. Rukia

3. Ulquiorra

4. Szayel

5. Ukitake

6. Hiyori

7. Byakuya

8. Loly

9. Gin

10. Yachiru

11. Yamamoto

12. Aizen

1. Have you ever read a Six Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Hiyori X Yamamoto...No, and I hope I never read one.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Yes,Szayel is rather sexy.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Loly would probably be thrilled, and Aizen would have an heir.

4. Can you read any fic(s) about Nine ?

Sure, there are a ton of them.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Maybe.

6. FiveNine or Five/Ten? Why?

Ukitake/Gin, my brain can't handle Ukitake/Yachiru

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve in bed together?

Rukia would be called a traitor and disowned, and Byakuya would either try to kill Aizen, or have a heart attack.

8. Make up a summary for a ThreeTen fic

Two oppisites collide, and create something new.

9. Is there any such thing as OneEight fluff?

No way in hell.

10. Suggest a title for a SevenTwelve hurt/comfort fic.

Scattered Illusions.

11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One

erm...

12. Do any of your friends read Seven slash?

Probably

13. Do any of your friends read Three het?

Yep!

14. Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven

Nope.

15. Would any of your friends write TwoFourFive

No one is that crazy.

16. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

That was fun!

17. If you wrote a song-fic about Eight which song would you choose?

Idk

18. If you wrote a OneSixTwelve fic, what would the warnings be?

Extreme crack and OOC

19. What might be a good pick-up line for Two to use on Ten

twitch

20. When was the last time you read a fic about Five

A week or two ago

21. What is Six's super-secret kink?

Her sandals!

22. Would Eleven get in bed with NineDrunk or sober?

Drunk, definately drunk.

23. If Three and Seven get together, who tops?

Ulquiorra, hands down.Byakuya's too feminine to be seme.


Any Last Words? Yes actually:

It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

"It's fireproof."

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Are you sure the power is off?"

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Noo, These windows are ok to lean on."

"Don’t worry it has airbags"

"Don’t worry its not that deep."

"No, he doesn’t bite."

"Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel."

"I can pass this guy."

"My brakes are fine."

"I think it's trying to communicate..."

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

"Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

"No,No, it's only slightly dangerous."

"I'd bet my life on it!"

Anything else? Nope I'm good.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Purple obsession by Leonoriel reviews
Gakupo is a sensation. His smooth voice has already conquered hundreds of hearts, but amongst his fans raises a threat he never predicted. Will he survive this crazy fan's obsession? Warning: Contains yaoi, rape in later chapters , non-con, stalking, etc
Vocaloid - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 27 - Words: 98,578 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 1/18 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Gakupo K./Gackpoid, Kaito S.
Things Change by Onyx Maxwell reviews
Raven is pregnant with Alexander's baby. As if being a pregnant teenager isn't enough, she has to deal with the trouble of bearing a half-vampire too. How will this affect Raven and Alexander's relationship? Will it all work out in the end or will everything fall apart under the stress?
Vampire Kisses - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 25 - Words: 38,126 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 10/27/2013 - Published: 7/2/2011 - Raven M., Alexander S.
In Chains by SonicSilverShadowScourge reviews
Your name is Gamzee Makara. You haven't heard your name, first or last, in almost over two sweeps now, and you're getting up and motherfucking sick of it. Though you have been 'Grand Highblood' for two sweeps, the ceremony wasn't done until today. Your name is Tavros Nitram and you curse your bad luck. You should have left your hive as fast as your wings would have allowed.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,665 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 3/11/2013 - Published: 8/22/2012 - Tavros N., Gamzee M.
But It's Impossible! by ThiefShipper101 reviews
Malik and Bakura have a bit of "fun" one night, but they forget to take their Millennium Items off. The results are rather shocking for everyone. Thiefshipping. Mpreg. Don't like, don't read.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 47,320 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 12/22/2012 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Yami Bakura, Marik I. - Complete
Zelda and Ganondorf's Lust filled Marriage by Judyfr4nk3nbutt90 reviews
Newlywed and full of lust, Zelda and Ganon face their future.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,046 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/5/2012 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Ganondorf, Zelda
SONIC HIGH SCHOOL by DarkDoomFireMaster reviews
SONIC HIGH SCHOOL features Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Rouge, Espio and more in crazy high school drama, passionate romances, and crazy cliff-hanger endings. It is known as the most addictive story online, and it is the ultimate Sonic story about high school. This story contains no graphic descriptions and all the High School students are 18 years old.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 36,378 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/11/2012 - Published: 5/4/2012 - Sonic - Complete
Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami by D'arkYagam'i reviews
Light's twin brother Dark moves in with them! What secrets does he have? Has cusses and Sayu/Misa. EDIT: His other sister Night Yagami will come as well! Find her secrets too!
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 48 - Words: 57,150 - Reviews: 512 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 8/8/2012 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Sayu Y., Misa A. - Complete
Roommates by Daniloveswriting reviews
Bakura and Marik share a house. Marik claims he's straight but Bakura wants to prove otherwise. Thiefshipping, some deathshipping and some puppyshipping. Sort of Abridged personalities.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 55,813 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 7/4/2012 - Published: 12/7/2011 - Marik I., Yami Bakura - Complete
Folie à Plusiers by CaCoPhOnY Of ScReAmS reviews
It started with one. Patient zero, retrieved from Washington DC, America. Alfred F.Jones was admitted by his college roommate at 13:08 on June 16th. Diagnosis: Delusional.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 89,454 - Reviews: 1424 - Favs: 1,230 - Follows: 1,306 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 10/20/2009 - America
The Guest by Tsukiori reviews
It's been a year after the events of Brennenberg and Daniel still hasn't recovered from his ordeal. He tries to hide from his past, living as a shut-in in a dilapidated boarding house. Then one day a guest comes a-calling...
Amnesia: The Dark Descent - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,021 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/8/2012 - Published: 3/30/2012 - Alexander, Daniel - Complete
Date Crashers by WhiteGamma reviews
AU Malik and Bakura discover that their brothers are dating. Both disapprove for different reasons and become partners for as long as it takes to make Mariku and Ryou break up. However, things become... interesting; Thiefshipping, Deathshipping
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 68,283 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Yami Bakura, Marik I.
Where'd That Manual Go? by Italiangurlinamessedupworld reviews
What does a day in my life revolve around ever since that fateful click? Chaos, that's what. One day a girl, who was bored out of her mind ordered some "Hetalia Units" at the time she had no clue what she'd just done. Based off of LolliDictator's Manuals.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,631 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 1/10/2011 - Published: 9/1/2010 - Russia, South Korea
The Shinigami Guide to Parenting by QueenofBookworms reviews
I'm the taicho of Fifth Division. Life hates me. Yama is officially nuts and wants me to marry Renji, and there's this five year old hyper girl who reckons I'm her mother, or father? Fun? No way in the deepest regions of hell. RenIchi. Chapter 26 up...
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 67,476 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 12/3/2010 - Published: 6/25/2008 - Ichigo K., Renji A.
Dr Grantz is In by Reverberating Winds reviews
The Espada, powerful and dignified, Aizen's infallible army, are not as imposing as they seem. In fact, like anyone else, they are stricken with maladies and injuries at most inconvenient times that only one person can fix. His name? Szayel Aporro Grantz.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 24 - Words: 122,214 - Reviews: 475 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 11/19/2010 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Grimmjow J., Ulquiorra - Complete
The Greatness of Owned Men by m4gg0t reviews
AU. What happens when seven men are owned by two women? More Summary inside. Rated M for language, sexual content, agression, drinking, drugs, and all out evilness :.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 73,143 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/13/2010 - Published: 12/14/2007 - Grimmjow J., T. Hitsugaya
Heart's Bond by Pernshinigami reviews
Ichigo wants Renji, but relationships between Shinigami are far more intimate than those between humans, and why, why, why, why, why is Karin dreaming of a tiger named Hisuimaru? rated for lemon RenIchi UkiShun ShuKira Byaryu IsshinUruhara GinAi, mPreg
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 61 - Words: 291,480 - Reviews: 842 - Favs: 453 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 3/8/2007 - Ichigo K., Renji A.
Why Philosophy is Bad for Yumichika's Health by The Ladies Luck reviews
Yachiru comes to Kenpachi with an age-old philosophical question, and he solves it in typical Kenpachi fashion.
Bleach - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 235 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/15/2009 - K. Zaraki, Yachiru K. - Complete
Espada Children by Serene Ice Dragon reviews
When one of Szayel's experiments goes horribly wrong, Aizen, Gin and Tousen find themselves facing their most difficult task yet: babysitting!
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 34,134 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 10/6/2009 - Published: 8/7/2008 - G. Ichimaru, Tousen K. - Complete
Hueco Mundo BOWL! by Silver and Opals reviews
A *better* version of Shinigami's cup starring our favorite Hueco Mundo residents. Very OOC, crazy and random. Ch. 17: Broccoli
Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 12,151 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 3/14/2009 - Published: 10/27/2008 - S. Aizen, Zommari R.
Merry F'in Christmas from Grimmjow Jeagerjaques by FFFX reviews
Soul Society recieves a video e-card from Hueco Mundo durring their anual Chrsitmas party. Naturally Grimmjow and Neliel send their regards... Implied GrimNel friendship and IkkakuApache drunken one night stand. Rated for Grimmjow's language and booze.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,345 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Grimmjow J., Neliel T. O./Nel - Complete
Tea by Mean Faol Banrigh reviews
Just how much does Aizen love his tea... and why? Warning! Compleate and utter CRACK
Bleach - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 181 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/15/2008 - S. Aizen - Complete
Spoons by Silver and Opals reviews
You've Been Spooned! No, you have to say it in the AOL voice! Yachiru & friends retaliate against the captains for wasting money when the lieutenants are underpaid. What will they do? Well, with spoons, anything is possible. A lot of OOC.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,002 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/23/2008 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Yachiru K., R. Matsumoto - Complete
The Birds and the Bees, Kenpachi style by MatsuMama reviews
Yachiru wants to know what grown-ups do when they're in love. Hilarity ensues! Oneshot.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,529 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 19 - Published: 9/9/2008 - Yachiru K., K. Zaraki - Complete
The Espada Guide to Parenting by Impervious Marr reviews
Life's good. War's over. Las Nachos - I mean Noches, is getting cleaner, Aizen's giving us all vacations, and - by the way, I have a kid stalker who thinks I'm his mom and Ulquiorra's his dad. LG, man. L effin' G. GrimmUlqui.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 26,196 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 248 - Updated: 8/17/2008 - Published: 4/5/2008 - Grimmjow J., Ulquiorra
Mr Fixit by Halibel Lecter reviews
In which Kaien is a plumber, Aizen does some swatting, and the people listening in on them get ALL the wrong ideas. Crack. Oneshot series.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,051 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 8/7/2008 - Published: 8/5/2008
Taichou Chibified by GrimmjowXEspada reviews
All of the taichou in Seireiti get turned into chibis by an accident. All sorts of crazy things start to happen. Slowly at first, Seireiti is plunged into chaos. [Occasional pairings. Some yaoi but mostly all of them are straight.][[CRACK!]]
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 7,997 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 11/28/2007 - Published: 8/7/2007
Whiskey Lullaby by X-Final-Day-X reviews
First attempt at a songfic. Rukia leaves, Ichigo is depressed...tradgedy strikes, but who's to blame? Well of course, Rukia thinks she is. The summary sucks, but I believe this is my second best EVER! PLEASE REVIEW. MY FLAME BOX IS STILL BROKEN, so none!
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,608 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/5/2007 - Ichigo K., Rukia K. - Complete