I read way too much!
Imma mutt so dont disrespect ppl of diffrent races
Things i hate:racist, people that lie to u, talk about u behind ur back but are sweet to ur face, child abuse, preppy ass people that think they are better than you
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing your head off.
Girls Don't realize these things;
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.
My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I started to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
(This is very sad, please and post this You better for others may read and feel the same as us)
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it , moodiful819, thecrazyfatguy, CheshireMax, Lover Of Animes, xxTwisted Dark Dreamsxx, SakuraBlossom24,Rhianna224,
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
And thats about it for now...i'll updatye more later ja! PICKLE!
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is retard cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now read the THIRD word of every line(HAH! Copy this into your profile if you find this funny))
Heaven won’t take me and hell’s afraid I’ll take over
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
Specify that your drive-through order is to go. It confuses people.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!
If swimming is so good for your figure, then explain whales!
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
"cheer, cheer, yell, yell, it doesn't matter, we're all going to hell"
"Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation, we'd all run around in a dark room munching pills and listening to repetitive music."
"Somewhere people are plotting against you and I am probably among them."
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."
You know, it would be REALLY funny if someone found irrefutable proof that Jesus was a gay black man."
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!"
"Boldly Going Nowhere"
"Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window."
"those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do"
"Dying is just natures way of saying 'Hey! Your not alive anymore!'"
"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."
"I love him, O yes I do,
FAVORITE QUOTES: (some off others profile)
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
When life gives you lemons, give them back and DEMAND CHOCOLATE.
When life gives you lemons, give them back and demand cash.
Suicide is a way of telling God, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME,I QUIT!"
Death is a way of God telling you not to be a wise guy.
If at first you don't succeed, then destroy all evidence that you tried.
That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.
Its tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
Evening news is where they tell you 'good evening' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange peoplel them.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God. - Anonymous
Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. - Stephen Baker
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
"living is the day worth dying for"-Captain Barbosa (Geoffery Rush) ((Pirates of the Carribean 3- At World's End))
50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene.
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. Climb things.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.
40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.
47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"
Isnt it funny that when you go to the shops with your friends you look down at the girl with black jeans and studs but smile at the girl wearing a mini with a tshirt that barely cover anything?
Isnt it funny you can change your music taste to impress a guy but when it comes to a girl who likes her own music and her own style, you give her a mouthful?
ISN'T IT FUNNY that a guy can get away with being a gangsta but the emo gets a mouthful from everyone? are you laughing?
Isnt it funny a emo can be quiet all through the week but gets more shit from everyone than the girl who sleeps around and sells her virginity?
ISN'T IT FUNNY that you dont mind your friends drinking, smoking but the minute someone mentions emo music you can give them a lecture on melodramatic teenage outcasts?
I'm not laughing.
ITS SO FUNNY that you and your friends can make a girls life hell and not know anything about the silent battle she might be fighting.
ISN'T IT FUNNY that you can call emos, punks, goths the retards but still manage to get through your day without an inch of guilt in your heart.
HOW YOU CAN CALL A GIRL A POSER, HOW CAN YOU SAY "YOUR NOT EMO" OR "ATTENTION SEEKER" WITHOUT SPENDING A SECOND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THERE ARE CUTS ON HER WRISTS AND WHY SHE SPENDS HER LUNCHTIMES CRYING INSTEAD OF LAUGHING WITH HER FRIENDS? KEEP ON LAUGHING!
isnt it funny you can say and do all this without any idea of what is going on in this persons life without knowing her situation with her friends or her family or her LIFE!
BRAVE ISNT GOING UP ON STAGE AND STRIPPING!
BRAVE IS NOT SAYING A SPEECH OR DUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND!
BRAVE IS GOING TO SCHOOL ON MUFTI DAY AND NOT FOR A SECOND CARE WHAT THE WORLD AROUND YOU IS SAYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES. ITS LISTENING TO YOUR OWN MUSIC AND BEING PROUD OF IT!
ITS GOING THROUGH EVERY DAY WITH THE THINGS PEOPLE SAY TO YOUR FACE AND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND YOU STILL KEEP QUIET. ITS KNOWING WHAT YOUR "FRIENDS" ARE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND STILL CALLING THEM YOUR FRIENDS!
BRAVE IS KNOWING THAT TOMOROW ISNT A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE ITS ANOTHER DAY OF COMPLAINING AND DODGING RUMORS! KEEP ON LAUGHING.
if you agree put this on your profile and advise others to do the same
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Make your mother proud, dont smoke pot or stop breathing because Abrocrombie and Fitch tell you its not cool to breath.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, my name is paper YAH, Sakurablossom24,Rhianna224
None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.
1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.
2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused, I will use little words.
7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. When you are told "well you deserve better" by others, I will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those
who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
ONE FOR THE GIRLS!
(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "i'll miss you..."
(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
Some say the world will end in fire,
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!
This has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read:
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."
"Forgetting doesn't make it better, it just makes it hurt again when I remember"
"Life is a rollar coaster, and I'm not strapped in."
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
They laugh because we're losers...
People say I'm stupid, I tell them not to be jealous!
Fire and Ice
"I cause cancer. Tee hee." ~ Multiple 'People'
"If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous
"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous
"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous
"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up.” ~ Anonymous
"Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." ~ Anonymous
"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." ~ Anonymous
"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." ~ Anonymous
"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad." ~ Anonymous
"Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears." ~ Anonymous
"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?" ~ Anonymous
"Friends are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them, but they always stick together." ~ Anonymous
"I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." ~ Anonymous
"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." ~ Anonymous
"Sex is evil, evil is sin, sin is forgiven, so stick it right in!" ~ Anonymous
"Virginity is like a balloon, one small prick and it's gone forever." ~ Anonymous
"Sex is temptation caused by sensation, when a guy puts his location into a girl's destination, to increase population for the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" ~ Anonymous
"They say one day your whole life will flash before your eyes, make it worth watching." ~ Anonymous
"I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes." ~ Anonymous
"I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me." ~ Anonymous
"Anyone can reach their stars…and if you can’t reach, catch one that falls." ~ Anonymous
"You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor." ~ Anonymous
"Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way." ~ Anonymous
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." ~ Anonymous
"Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?" ~ Anonymous
"Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer." ~ Anonymous
"Okay, so what's the speed of dark?" ~ Anonymous
"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"~Max
"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"~Iggy
"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. ~Max
'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked.”
'We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?' (Max)
"'You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me.’We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
Crazy is a relative term in my family!
Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."
Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go
"Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You
Hi, you know the drill.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.
Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.
You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.
Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.
Tell the truth and run.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Music is love in search of word.
It's a fusion of Jazz and funk-is called 'Junk'!
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own damn lemonade"
Assassination is an extreme form of censorship
The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!
"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick
He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?
Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.
One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.
When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling
When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile
If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it , moodiful819, thecrazyfatguy, CheshireMax, Lover Of Animes, xxTwisted Dark Dreamsxx, SakuraBlossom24, Sacred-Miko,Rhianna224,
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, blissfulmeme, AkatsukiReverie,EmoLollipop, Deidara-Kun-Fangirl, KillerLiger3000, moonlit fang, chibi kyuu-chan, Ragnorokrising, MangaFreak15,Rhianna224
A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you hear voices in your head and know that they are real put this on your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you think furbies are evil mind controlling igits waiting to take over the world paste this in your profile.
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy this into your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return ManLife Sucks, Avatarwolf, danyan, Zutara Lover, SesshoumaruKougaNarakuFanGirl, Rhianna224
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!
Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message into your profile.
If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!
If you have ever tripped where there is a 'WATCH YOUR STEP' sign, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile.
If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.
If you ever felt like chasing your friend and yelling "RUN BITCH RUN!" Put this on your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writitng or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.
"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
"Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower" - Warren Hutcherson
"If a kid ever asks you how Santa Claus can live forever, I think a good answer is that he drinks blood." - Jack Handey
"No juice for you!" - Ben Tennyson
"I just drew my first guy NC-17 picture!" -me
"I killed a little person to get to you." - Kelton
"Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be bastards"
"Meow! Meow! Meow! Cat chow! Cease your flatulent winds and hear my mind numbing expulsions of wicked noise! Grrr!! CHEESE!! I sense you envy of my neck!! And I don't blame you!! DROOOOOL over my magical powers!! I have powers pinto beans can only dream of! Wanna see me pull a tapeworm outta my ass?! Huh!? I am Testiclês!! God of rash covered scrotums! Stare deep into the stinking abyss of my individually wrapped slices!! Holy wax! Check out my armpits!! HEEEEY! Waidaminit!! Wait just a polyp picking minute!! I see your game! You will not sink my cheerio!! I see what is transpiring here!! You're all zombie thigh-fat people, brought into animation by some evil force of forceful evil!! Shit! That lipstick's the wrong color for you!! MOOOO! Woof! Oh, don't you see the toenails?! Oh, so splendid!! A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K...!" - Happy Noodle Boy
"Get the hell off of my car!" - some random person from the comic
"Che. You are such a bitch." - My Mom to me
"You are a sick child." - My mom
"You smell shiny today, if I do say so myself." - my friend Jess when I meant to say that she looked shiny, but said "smell" instead
"I'll send you to the deepest pits of Hell, and while you're there, you can lick the Devil's ass, Incognito!" - Alucard
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage (Mythbusters)
"I just experienced the feeling of thong... O.o" - Me
"Oh that's nice. Snakes on crack." - Snakes On a Plane (Movie)
'Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.'
"You're not drunk until you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the Earth."
'Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough.'
'I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works.' - Tee Shirt of Mine
'The funniest about this t-shirt is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything it's too late to stop reading it, stupid.' - Tee Shirt of Mine
'I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you!' - Sweatshirt of Mine
'There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves.' - Corny Humor: More Wit & Witticism
'I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it.'
'Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away... He hates that.'
'I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.'
A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumb ass?"
A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain; a best friend takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"
A friend wipes your tears when your rejected; a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
"When you're blue, a good friend will ask what's wrong. A true friend will try to dislodge what's chocking you."
"When you get thrown in jail, a good friend will come bail you out. A true friend will be in there with you going "Damn, we fed up.""
"A good friend will help you up when you fall. A true friend will laugh at you and then trip you again."
"A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them."
"You know you're crazy when you know the Men in white by name."
"Who ever said nothing was impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door."
"Mirrors don’t talk, and luckily for you, they don’t laugh."
"Last night I played a blank tape at full blast, the mime next door when nuts."
A friend tries to help you when you get hurt, a true friends sits there laughing their ass off saying, 'Dude, you're an idiot!'
Don't let someone tell you what to be just be yourself and live life to the fullest.
If you'r in a relationship with someone dont let them control what you do because it recks that relationship.
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