Hello, My name is Jeff.
I live in New Orleans.
I used to live in the DC area.
I know this sounds nerdy but i wish I was still there so i could vote for Jim Webb again.
I was the US Army. That Pepsi can is from when I was at the Baltimore MEPS. I got Pneumonia in Basic at Ft Benning and they sent me home after they saw that I had lied to the doctors about my medical records.
Yeah, I lied to get into the United States Army.
I miss it a little. Shoulda been Intel or engineers like everyone suggested.
I am now back to being the Shiftless, twenty-something college dropout from Northern Virginia Community College.
I take fan-fiction very seriously. I see it as the most undiluted source of literary criticism.
I 'would die for' the following ships: Harry/ Hermione, Harry/ Hermione/ Luna, Harry/ Hermione/ Susan/ Luna/ Pansy, Harry/ just about any Harem or multi (minus the Patils, I just don't see it), Naruto/ Hinata.
I like the following ships but I certainly don't really root for them: Harry/ Tonks, Harry/ Daphne, Harry/ Luna
I see the following ships as crimes against humanity: Harry/ Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Ron/ Luna, Hermione/ Draco (wondered into one of those, gave me dry heaves, really), Hermione/ Snape, really all canon pairings except for James/ Lily i have a bit of a problem with.
Thanks to fan-fiction I have realized many things.
jbern may be one of the most talented writers I have ever read. But he produces nothing but nightmare fuel. Same is true for lord of the land of fire.
PrefectLionheart is absolutely brilliant but is a little crazy and long winded.
The exceptionally talented Viridian needs to speed things up.
Cloneserpents is a god among insects. But he has got a really filthy mind. I love it!
MistressWinowyll is beautiful.
Konoha is a liberal parliamentary military dictatorship. Like the Roman Republic in a crisis.
Naruto would have been better off in many ways if he had traded spots with Kiba on Team 8.
Naruto has HUGE gaps in his skills (and I don't mean just fighting skills).
Sasuke was never Naruto's friend.
Sasuke is spoiled beyond anyone else I have personally seen in fiction.
Sasuke is a complete traitor that should be killed on sight.
Gennin Sakura was a waste of space.
Chuunin Sakura is consistently screwed over.
Kakashi Hatake was a VERY BAD teacher.
That is not entirely his fault.
Danzo might not be entirely evil.
Danzo 's potential as a character in canon was absolutely wasted.
Uchihas suck! Itachi doesn't count.
We need more Senjus!
In SEVEN books Harry Potter wins a grand total of two fights under his own power (The Dementors at the beginning of OOTP, and the scuffle with Draco in HBP) and by own power I mean no fluke or help from someone or something else.
The trap at the DOM in Book 5 was, I believe, an assassination attempt on Sirius Black so that Harry would stay under Dumbledore's thumb. And only Dumbledore knows this.
As evil as Dumbledore can be in an Evil!Dumbledore fic, he is a million times scarier if he is just fanatically commited to his view of the world.
Harry Potter has no goal in life.
Harry should have made friends with Neville instead of Ron.
Ron Weasley is a doushebag, a jerk-ass, a tool, a cake-eater and no to cast aspersions on the guy but he will get us all killed.
Draco is better Evil (he is still a criminal in the eyes of the law at the end of the series he just becomes a progressively whine-er little bitch).
Snape IS evil (helping out Harry? The man admitted to wanting Lily Potter for a sex slave in exchange for the prophesy).
Bellatrix is better as a crazy attack dog under the command of the good guys.
Almost every story I have read with a Harry/ Susan pairing the world ends or I want to vomit a few chapters in. Which is a real shame cause she seem like a lovely girl in the books.
This is incomplete