Melted-Golden-Eyes
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Joined 11-03-08, id: 1732443, Profile Updated: 11-22-08
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Maximum Ride.

Hi I'm Melted-Golden -Eyes and you're at my profile!! No way, right!? I'm going to assume you've read one of my stories and say thank you for reading it!!

My fave word is Spaztasticle which has yet to be recorded in the dicitonary but when it is all rights to the word should be owned by me.

My fave book is- of course- Twilight but I enjoy lots of other books too.

My fave website is my website!! spaztasticle.webs.com and I am Spazzi!

My hubby is Edward Cullen (I know only in my dreams but a girl can dream!!)

I am also in love with (sorry honey) Fang from Maximum Ride and if Max doesn't take him I will.

My fave food is Oriental Chicken Salad from Applebee's and chicken flavored Ramen noodles.

Enough about me and just some random things but if you want to know more about me or well enjoy me or love me go to my website www.freewebs.com/spaztasticle .

Random is pimp!


92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. ( I think I have, but I was zoned out,so time means nothing to me)

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile(i'm not the only one)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

You know you're obsessed with Twilight if... You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward! You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire. You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them. You've read Twilight and New Moon at least 5 times each! You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news. You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight or New Moon. You give your teachers Twilight and/or New Moon for Christmas. When you see a box labeled "Forks" at a restaurant you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there. Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you. You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up. You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward does. You watch the show Moonlight and imagine Beth as Bella and Mick as Edward. Now it's me writing again and I'm sorry about the whole thing that there isnt much thats really me in my profile but it's been a long day and my first profile I had I forgot to save.

You know you live in 2007 (2008) when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

Funny isn't it!


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

This is true!


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism


A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love


FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!


Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did
What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight As',
I even got the gold!

But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said goodbye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go,
But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun,
He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny,
Got the gun from his older brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy;
That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend;
That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister;
That she is the only now,
And tell my dear sweet Grandmother;
I'll be waiting for her now,

And tell my wonderful friends;
That they always were the best,
Mommy, I'm not the first,
I'm no better then the rest.

Mommy, tell my teachers;
I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this,
And please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why'd it have to be me?
No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others,
Mommy, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy, tell the doctors;
I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor,
Trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying,
With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy, please remember,
I'm in heaven with the rest.

Mommy, I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack,
Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I'm not coming back.

I wanted to go to college,
I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy;
On that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married,
I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress,
Mommy, I wanted to live.

But Mommy, I'm must go now,
The time is getting late,
Mommy tell my boyfriend,
I'm sorry, but I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have,
I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I wanted to say is,
"Mommy, I love you"

--In Memory Of The School Shootings--
If this poem touched you in any way, please pass it
on. And even if it didn't, pass it on just for the
memory of the innocent children


Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap. He loves me and
cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be
your little girl.

I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited
when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet
comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty
far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my
surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between
you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with
you.Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard
Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better
soon. I wondered why you cried so much.

One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I
couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day,
the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came
into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I
began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe
you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I
was screaming and screaming,"Mommy, Mommy, help me
please; Mommy, help me."

Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I
thought I couldn't anymore.Then the monster started ripping
my arm off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It
didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror
as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I
was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you
say how much you love me.

I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans
to make you happy. Now I couldn't; all my dreams were
shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain
of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything
to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful
death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had
done to you.

I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I
didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no
longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.I felt myself
rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful
place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.

The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He
loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked
Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered,
"Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I
don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the
monster.

I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I
wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted
to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too
powerful. It sucked my arm and legs off and finally got all of
me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I
tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through
the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.

Love,

Your Baby Girl

SniffSniff SoOo SaD

If you think that abortion is wrong and as terrible as it really is
then you will send this to everyone you know to inform them
of how terrible it is if you dont, you're heartless. Please send
this too anyone you can.


Dear Friend,

I just had to write to tell you how much I love you and care for you. Yesterday, I
saw you walking and laughing with your friends; I hoped that soon you'd want
Me to walk along with you, too. So, I painted you a sunset to close your day and
whispered a cool breeze to refresh you. I waited; you never called. I just kept on
loving you.

As I watched you fall asleep last night, I wanted so much to touch you. I spilled
moonlight onto your face trickling down your cheeks as so many tears have.
You didn't even think of me; I wanted so much to comfort you.

The next day I exploded a brilliant sunrise into a glorious morning for you. But
you woke up late and rushed off to work-you didn't even notice. My sky became
cloudy and My tears were the rain.

I love you. Oh, if you'd only listen. I really love you. I try to say it in the quiet of
the green meadow and in the blue sky. The wind whispers My love throughout
the treetops and spills it into the vibrant colors of the flowers. I shout it to you in
the thunder of the great waterfalls and composed love songs for birds to sing for
you. I warm you with the clothing of My sunshine and perfume the air with
nature's sweet scent. My love for you is deeper than the ocean and greater than
any need in your heart. If you'd only realize how I care. I died just for you.

My Dad sends His love. I want you to meet Him. He cares,too. Fathers are just
that way. So please call Me soon. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait because I
love you.

Your Friend,

Jesus "through this world i stumble
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest world,
to find the truth enslaved."


Who'll Take the Son?

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art.
They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to
Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great
works of art.

When the Viet Nam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He
was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another
soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only
son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock
at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large
package in his hands.

He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for
whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and
he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the
heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your
love for art.

The young man held out his package. "I know this isn't much.
I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have
wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son,
painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the
soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting.
The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled
up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay
him for the picture.

"Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a
gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors
came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son
before he showed them any of the other great works he had
collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great
auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered,
excited over seeing the great paintings and having an
opportunity to purchase one for their collection. On the
platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his
gavel.

"We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will
bid for this picture?" There was silence. Then a voice in the
back of the room shouted. "We want to see the famous
paintings. Skip this one." But the auctioneer persisted. "Will
someone bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding?
100, 200?" Another voice shouted angrily. "We didn't come
to see this painting.. We came to see the Van Goghs, the
Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!" But still the auctioneer
continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was
the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give 10 for
the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford. "We
have 10, who will bid 20?" "Give it to him for 10. Let's see
the masters." "10 is the bid, won't someone bid 20?"

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of
the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their
collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once,
twice, SOLD for 10!" A man sitting on the second row
shouted. "Now let's get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is
over." "What about the paintings?" "I am sorry. When I was
called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation
in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this
time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned.
Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate,
including the paintings. The man who took the son gets every
thing!"

God gave his son 2,000 years ago to die on a cruel cross. Much
like the auctioneer, His message today is, "The son, the son,
who'll take the son?" Because you see, whoever takes the Son
gets everything.


This one is written by moi (Melted Golden Eyes) but only because I couldn't retrieve the original so this is not my idea.

A rich couple's son had gone to war and two weeks before he would be allowed to return home the couple recieved a call from him.

"Mom... Dad can I bring home a friend from the army?" they were appalled by the question and replied: "Why can't he go to his own house?" The phone was silent for a moment until the son replied. "He's afraid his mother and father wont love him anymore. Because well... while we were fighting a gun went off and shot him in two places- his forearm and his shin. They had to amputate both of the limbs. He also has third degree burns on his face and from what he told me about his parents this is enough to make them no longer love him."

The parents said, "Doesn't he have any other friends he can go live with? We have no use for handicapped people here."

"Everyone else is dead mom," he told them sadly. The parents didn't think when they replied "Well handicapped people need to learn to make a living on their own for they are stupid and have lesser abilities than normal people. I forbid you to bring this young man home with you he must make it on his own."

The son hung up the phone without saying good bye. Two weeks later while they were waiting for there son to come home when they heard a loud shot from outside there house and ran outside. There on the ground lay their dead son with a gun in his hand. But their son was different. He was missng two limbs and one side of his face was red and melted. They realized with horror that they had tolf their son that he was worthless.

Handicapped people are just as able to do things as us. This man fought for us and wasn't excepted when he returned home. Judge people from their actions and not their looks. This is a true story.

l


Advice to being the Perfect Boyfriend,

When she walks away from you mad,
Follow her.

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go.

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong.

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention.

When she pull's away
Pull her back.

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful.

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared
Protect her.

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay.

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up.

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand.

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers.

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh.

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does.

When she misses you
she's hurting inside.

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away.

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers.

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it.

I am so against abortion ( this is so sad )

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this


If you think this next thing is incredibly cute and sweet, copy and paste it onto your profile.

Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you like me?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you want me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you cry if I left?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you live for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you do anything for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Choose--me or your life

Edward: My life

Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Now isn;t that the cutest thing you've ever read! So like Bella and Edward


There are people in Africa that can't afford sarcasm, and yet, you abuse it.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

Make a man a fire, keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, keep him warm for life

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have! ( I don't really have ADD )

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Elmo knows where you live!

Forever isn't as long as it use to be.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

. My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Before you critisize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorous. But not so much tastey!

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

-Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

-BE nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

- When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops

moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.


I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!


If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you
would have produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)
--

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months,
enough gas is produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)
--

The human heart creates enough pressure when it
pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a
hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"


25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted

luv ya'll,

Melted-Golden-Eyes


Links for I'll Miss You, My Love:

Chapter 2

Necklace:

Dress:

Wings:

Chapter 7

Angel wings shirt:

Good/evil cub shirt:

Sweat pant's (imagine it says Angel):

Chapter 12

Toga

Links for Truth or Dare: Bella vs. Cullens

Madonna outfit:

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Maximum Boarding School by LovelyVentures reviews
Max and the gang find themselves in a new adventure,boarding school.Now problems insue, boyfriends,friends,enimes, and roomates you can't stand. Max OC's, Fang OC's, Major Fax. Other relationships too.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 49 - Words: 87,158 - Reviews: 1285 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 8/17/2012 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Max, Fang
Through Another's Eyes by Lost In The Stars reviews
Because the story changes when told through another set of eyes. The Hunger Games from Peeta's perspective.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 76,947 - Reviews: 1260 - Favs: 900 - Follows: 686 - Updated: 2/24/2010 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Peeta M., Katniss E.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Truth or Dare: Bella vs Cullens reviews
Edward’s gone hunting and the rest of the Cullen’s stayed behind with Bella. What happens when someone ‘cough’ Alice and Emmett ’cough’ wants to play the dreaded Truth or Dare? Rated T because I feel like it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 8,102 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 3/4/2009 - Published: 11/9/2008
I'll Miss You, My Love reviews
When Edward leaves in New Moon Bella commits suicide because she no longer has to care for Charlie and Jacob. Everyone thinks Bella is gone forever but is she really? Rated T becuase I feel like it and I'm paranoid. Bella/Edward eventually.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 17,033 - Reviews: 413 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 3/4/2009 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Deal reviews
I made the deal and I had to stick to it. If only I had known when I made the deal what I was really doing. I was wishing evil on an unborn child. The School made a deal with Max: Have an avian-human hybrid child or we keep capturing the flock. Enjoy! Fax
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,817 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Max, V. Martinez
Thing's that I can no longer do at Camp HalfBlood reviews
The title is self-explanitory. Review please! Oneshot.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 431 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/30/2008 - Published: 11/19/2008 - Annabeth C. - Complete