Nickname: LDC

Age: Time immemorial.

Location: Behind you.

Outlook On Life: Cynical optimist.

"Never take the path of least resistance, because that's what water does. I tried it and my shoes got wet."- Erik

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves 'I would really like to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.' - From the profile of nyappy-tama.

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." -Mark Twain

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters." - Frank Lloyd Wright

"There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant

"Public speaking is the art of diluting a two minute speech with a two hour vocabulary." - Evan Esar

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"Christianity : The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense." -Christopher Hitchens

"When reality comes knocking I am NOT answering the door!" - Anonymous

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense." - Tom Clancy

"People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading." - Logan Pearsall Smith

"There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written." - Oscar Wilde

"Let's consult The Great 'Hn' Dictionary. Hmm, a 'hn' with a slight knowing attitude, with roll of the eyes. . . ah! Here it is! It means, 'I don't know,' or some situations, 'Why would I have bothered to remember anything so ridiculous is that?' " - Took this quote from Midnight Crisis's profile.

“A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.”- Anonymous

'Science fiction tells you how the clock works; fantasy goes right on ahead and tells you the time.' - David Eddings

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. (From the profile of darkheart753)

I'm a writer; crazy is in my job description. (From the profile of The All Real Numbers Symbol)

Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality. - Les Brown

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. -Groucho Marx

"It's better to keep silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubts." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"It's the friends that you can call up at 4 AM that matter." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"Society is thick, Normalicy is overrated, Lunacy is underestimated, and in the midst of it all, I remain relatively sane." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"Skill is being able to walk across Niagra Falls on a tightrope. Intelligence is not trying." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?" (from the profile of Neassa.)

"The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"Sarcasm is one more service we offer." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"Don't take life too seriously; no on gets out alive." (from the profile of Neassa.)

"Earth is the insane asylum for the universe." (from the profile of Neassa.)

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination.

(.• (.•(.• (.•
c a n c e r • i s n ' t • f a i r
Pass the ribbon around if you know someone who's died from, survived, or is living with cancer.

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb turd?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

Best Friends: Laugh at you and see if they can find any red stuff to dump on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "CRAP!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue in excange for your iPod."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... and have a book full of odd pictures of you

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'll be in the oval office."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this CRAP!

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

Girls don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet a lot of girls do too.

The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight

1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon.

2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.

3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.

4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.

5. Author Stephenie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.

6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.

7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.

8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.

9. . When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.

10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.

11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you.

DEAR YAOI FANDOM

It's been about four years since we first met. In the beginning, we didn't get along very well, but I quickly grew to love your quirky charm. However, time has passed, and your charms have dimmed. When I trawl your archives, I find page after page of badly-written, OOC fics that make me cringe. Still, I could handle the badfics. Then you began to talk about how 'kawai' certain pairings were and tried to make me feel bad if I didn't like them. You ranted about 'true luv' and claimed your OTP was meant to be, and you bashed perfectly good female characters just for being in the way. You watched shows that are deep, thought-provoking, and occasionally horrifying, said, "those two are really cute together!" and proceeded to spam my dark fandoms with happy-go-lucky fluff. You didn't even try to justify the OOC, claiming that you can do whatever you want because it's your fic. It's true, but that line of reasoning doesn't make me want to keep reading.

We've had some good times, but I just can't handle it anymore. I used to love you, but now you make me sick to my stomach. All your immature excesses make me ashamed to call myself a yaoi fangirl. And so, I must regretfully say that I'm divorcing you. I've come up with a new title - slasher. It doesn't carry the same aura of spazzy fourteen year old with a keyboard, and it seems a little bit dangerous. I've only had it for a short while, but it's already made me happier than you ever did.

Sincerely, LightDarkandChaos, slasher