Greetings, fellow lovers of fanfiction. I'm your friendly neighborhood *insert noun here, Cerokun.

Still Not Going as Planned is off hiatus! Commence rejoicing!

12/8/2014 - I'm writing again. Check your stockings (or e-mail box) this Christmas. :)
12/26/2014 - Still writing. Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel! has devoured my time. Is it just me, or is there a big difficulty spike from Borderlands 2?
5/28/2015 - Yes, I am alive. Yes, I am writing. I'm just really bad at choosing what to use my free time for. Curse you, video games, for being a massive time sink!

I have fanart! Really hitting the big time now! - http:///art/Bleach-NQaP-fanart-503204141

Naruto (no character bashing please. If you don't like a character, take it as a challenge to write them in a way that makes them likable)

Kyuubi on the Loose (Or Maybe Not)
Naruto is not the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi. The Shiki Fuin requires two souls. The Shinigami takes Minato's and Naruto's souls, sealing Kyuubi into Naruto's body, as well as sealing away its memories. Kyuubi grows up as CanonNaruto up until graduation. Mizuki spills the beans and Kyuubi's memories return. Unfortunately for Kyuubi, most of its power is still stuck behind the seal and this annoying thing called a "conscience" decided to stick around.
Where it goes from there is up to you.

Gate
Kyuubi makes a deal with Naruto in his early years. Let it out, and it swears to leave Konoha alone for as long as Naruto is alive (reasoning that ninja tend to die early so it's not like it has to wait that long to raze the place). The fox even offers to throw in a kekkei genkai as a bonus. Naruto (being a kid and thus not thinking of anything other than "cool ability") lets the fox out. Surprisingly to the rest of Konoha, it keeps its end of the bargain. Kyuubi's gone and Naruto can now create dimensional gates at will.
Check out Echidna from Black Cat for examples of this power in action.

Ah! My Mother is a Valkyrie
Due to a favor she owes Peorth, Lind has to man her post at the Earth Help Center while Peorth visits with Keiichi and co. Meanwhile, poor Sarutobi is at his wits end. He has to get the village back on its feet, deal with the fallout of Kyuubi being sealed in an infant, make sure the other villages don't get any ideas about taking advantage of Konoha's perceived weakness, and keep the local bunch of Well Intentioned Extremists from turning said infant into an emotionless killing machine. What he could really use is some divine intervention, and he gets just that when Lind arrives to grant his wish. The resulting events include Naruto getting a new mom, Kyuubi becoming a familiar similar to an angel, and mayhem and wacky hyjinks (it wouldn't be an Ah! My Goddess crossover without them).

Unnamed Naruto/Avatar the Last Airbender crossover
Starts with the typical Rasengan-meets-Chidori-and-opens-dimesional-rip. Naruto and Sasuke get dropped in the AtLA world three years before Aang awakens.

Sasuke ends up in the South Pole. Series of events leads to him staying.

Naruto ends up getting picked up by a certain banished prince's ship. Stays out of gratitude for being saved and wanting to crack Zuko out of his shell (on prompting from Iroh).

Features a Sokka who is a bit more competent early on thanks to sparing with Sasuke and a Zuko who has lightened up a bit from constant exposure to Naruto.

Fate Stay Night

(untitled)
The following characters are summoned as the Servants:
Saber - Roronoa Zoro
Berserker - Kenpachi Zaraki (who is no different than normal because he's already completely insane)
Lancer - Kazuki Muto
Rider - Itsuki "Ikki" Minami
Caster - Negi Springfield
Assassin - Black*Star
Archer - Kaoru Koganei

None of the Servants have any clue what the hell is going on. The Masters have no clue who any of the people they summoned are. Chaos and hyjinks ensue.

Other Servant Suggestions:

Harry Dresden (Caster)
Junas/Grigori 05 (Saber)
Nura Rikuo (Saber)
Kallen Kozuki (Rider)
Soifon (Assassin/Saber)
Sun Wukong (any class but Assassin) (Can you imagine the levels of Ham To Ham Combat that would be reached if he battled Gilgamesh? Seriously, the King of Heroes vs The Great Sage Equal to Heaven? Lesser heroes would be crushed merely by standing in the presence of such colossal egos)
Nanoha (Caster)
Lind (Lancer)
Link (anything but Berserker)

Marchen Awakens Romance

What might happen if one of the following where summoned instead of Ginta?
Himura Kenshin
Usopp
Sasuke Uchiha
Tatsuki Arisawa
Tsukune Aono

Bleach

Bring It On (title subject to change as soon as I come up with something better)
Something very odd is going on in Karakura town. Many of the orders Rukia receives are taken care of before she can arrive to kill the Hollow. Someone or something is doing her job for her. One night she catches the culprit in the act, a teenage human wielding an ethereal blade of black reishi, but he escapes before she can question him. Days later, while tracking a Hollow, she enters a seemingly normal house, only to find a familiar weapon at her throat.
Fullbring!Ichigo story. Currently in development. I'll probably post a teaser as a Christmas gift to my loyal readers.

Of course, the teaser I ended up posting seems to be going in a completely different direction than what I wrote above. It's not just in my first fic that things don't go quite as planned...

Not Quite as Planned: The Movie
Ichigo is on his way back from the Menos Forest after a feeding, when something happens and drops him into the void between the worlds. Ichigo wakes up back in Karakura, except some things are different. Ishida's powerless, Inoue is completely useless, and he's got a Shinigami doppleganger trying to kill him. What the hell is going on?

Something I've been kicking around in recent weeks. Not many details yet. Thought up for the simple goal of having NQaP!Ichigo slug it out with Canon!Ichigo.

Regarding Shipping in "Not Quite as Planned"

A review from Experimentnumber628 asked about pairings. The only answer I can give is “I don’t know.” I know that more than anything else, shipping is what divides the fandoms. This is my first story, and I’m mostly still trying to figure out what the heck I’m doing (you all might have noticed the inconsistency in earlier chapters). I’d rather not ruin what a lot of people seem to think is a great story by introducing romance (especially when I’ve never been in a relationship myself, and would have no clue how to write it).

I can say that there will be some Ship Tease and a few Shippers on Deck. I expect to get a lot of humor out of those situations (such as Orihime’s shipping of Ishida and Rukia back in Chapter 6).

As I get more confident in my writing skills, I may give actual romance a shot, but for now, don't read too much into it if you see hints of Ichiruki, Ichihime, or others. So please, don't be asking for a particular pairing, and don't flame me if you think I'm starting to lean towards a couple you don't like. In the case of the former, you will be ignored. In the latter, I will both ignore you and use the flames to cook hotdogs.

My Stance on Shipping in General

Maybe it's sacrilege, but I try not to judge stories on their pairings. I'm just as likely to read an Ichihime story as I am an Ulquihime. If the story is well written, what difference does it make? In fact, if the author can take an odd pairing and make it work with the story, more power to them. I care more for the quality of the material than whether Naruto gets with Hinata, Sakura, or any of the other girls.

Words to live by:

-When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then laugh as life tries to figure out how you did it.

-Shit happens. Flush the toilet and move on.

-When in doubt...C4. (Jamie Hyneman)

-There is no problem that cannot be solved by the application of a suitable amount of high explosives.

-Do what you can with what you got. (Burt Gummer)

Some of my favorite Youtube videos. Watch them!

All Rider Best Scene: The ultimate nerdgasm!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWXLsAp9fYA&list=FLIrzoLcCzb9eVTBWcDQ7DXA&index=14&feature=plpp_video

Hueco Mundo Revolution: Even if you're not an Ulquihime fan, check it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_id3HcbGLz0&list=FLIrzoLcCzb9eVTBWcDQ7DXA&index=31&feature=plpp_video

Just Who The Hell Do You Think We Are?: Gurren Lagann plus "Hero" by Charolette Perelli. Its awesomeness pierces the heavens!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoaER0LcDT0&list=FLIrzoLcCzb9eVTBWcDQ7DXA&index=37&feature=plpp_video

When You're Evil: As sung by Alucard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So8NEbXLoVc&list=FLIrzoLcCzb9eVTBWcDQ7DXA&index=162&feature=plpp_video

Random Story Ideas That I Would Like to Read (hint hint wink wink)

Vizard have Inner Hollows. Why shouldn't Arrancar have Inner Shinigami?

Kakarot doesn't hit his head. Instead, Gohan points out that if Kakarot can't beat him, he doesn't have a chance against the more powerful fighters. Kakarot swears on his Saiyan pride not to try and wipe out the world's population until he defeats Gohan. Except Gohan dies of old age before he can do so. Kakarot spends a while kicking himself for making that deal and trying to figure out what to do. Then a certain blue-haired female shows up, looking for a set of magic balls that can grant any wish, such as "I could wish an old man back from the dead, so I can kill him myself, finally be free of this stupid deal, and get on with committing planetary-scale genocide?... Hypothetically speaking?"

Takato doesn't make Guilmon. Instead, he somehow makes friends and becomes partners with a certain troublemaking Impmon. (While I have seen this before, not one was completed)

Ash sets off on his journey actually having some idea of what he's doing. For crying out loud, the kid was obsessed with Pokemon. Why the hell wouldn't he have already known all the stuff that Misty and Brock had to explain to him?

A series of homicides points the finger at some old Ranger buddies of Booth's: wanted fugitives Hannibal, Face, B.A., and "Howlin' Mad" Murdock. Bones/A-Team crossover. At some point, Sweets should interact with Murdock. :D

A better ending to Cage of Eden. I want an actual resolution, damn it!

While wandering Tokyo-3 after the battle with Shamshel, Shinji finds a glowing, key-sized drill, which leads him to a small, red robot that looks like a giant head.

Simon doesn't see Kamina and Yoko kiss. So the assault and take over of the Dai-Gunzan goes off without a hitch. Kamina lives. But what does this mean for Simon? Without the catalyst of Kamina's death, can he step out of his Bro's shadow and grow into the epic-level badass he's meant to become?

The T-800 doesn't get lowered into the vat of molten metal at the end of T2. Years later, when Cameron and the other Terminators start showing up (from the original future timeline), they get a very big surprise when they run into 'Uncle Bob'. (I understand and accept the reasoning behind the T-800's termination at the end of the movie, but that doesn't mean I have to like it...)

Peorth arrives to grant the wish of Ryotaro Nogami, the only man that can compete with Keiichi for the title of "Unluckiest Man Alive". Except that everyone freaks out when she says she's here to grant his wish. Why do the occupants of the DenLiner think she's a monster from the future and what the heck is an "Imagin"? Ah! My Goddess/Kamen Rider Den-O crossover

An Inuyasha/Sango story that doesn't demonize Kagome and/or Miroku. It is possible to realize you aren't right for each other and part on amicable terms, people...

Isshin's battle with Whitey takes place not in Karakura, but in Shin Tokyo. Whitey is killed with assistance from Miya. Years later, when the Sekirei Plan gets underway, there are some... extra participants. "#109: Ichigo."

Lancer thought it would be easy. Kill the witness, get back to fighting that sword-wielding Archer. It stopped being simple the second some kind of spirit warrior jumped out of the redhead and started trying to punch his face in. "ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!" Fate/Stay Night X JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.

After the birth of their first child, Isshin and Masaki decide to move away from Karakura. They settle in a quiet little city called Fuyuki. Bleach X Fate/Zero/Stay Night

Another Bleach/Sekirei crossover. Soul Society wants to investigate some strange happenings in Shin Tokyo, but Ichigo is busy (he somehow got himself involved in some dimension hopping shenanigans with a princess, an archeologist, a ninja, a wizard, and a pork bun). So they send Byakuya instead.

A magical mishap (which was totally not Jade's fault) sends the Chan clan on a sudden trip through time to the end of World War II. In order to get home, they'll have to race against the Nazis, who are pouring all of their remaining resources into the search for a Time Travel Trinket that will let them win the war before it begins. Fortunately, the Chans have the aid of the greatest Adventurer Archeologist to ever live: Henry "Indiana" Jones Jr.
(Jackie should be a complete Indy fanboy, kinda like Coulson was for Captain America)

Bleach/Sword Art Online crossover. Karin and Yuzu get trapped in the death game Aincrad. Not even Urahara can find a way to log them out. Fortunately, he does find a loophole. Kayaba never considered that someone might be crazy enough to log in.