Name: Alleged Warrior
Favourite Author: Tamora Pierce
Favourite Movie/s: LoTR
Favourite TV Shows: Stargate (SG-1 and Atlantis), Castle, NCIS
Favourite Books: PotS, SotL, All Tamora Pierce's Books, Harry Potter
ect (all other cannon parings)
Parings i hate:
Kel/ anyone that isnt Dom
Books/ Series: Protector of the Small, The Immortals, , Song of the Lioness, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, anything fantasy (preferably in a medieval setting),
Likes: Chocolate(sugar in general), books, computer, music,
Dislikes: Cleon from tamora pierce (Kel deserves much better, ie. DOM!),
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
I am an obsessive Grammar Fascist, engaged in a losing war against txt tlk. Join the fight!
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike english, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
If you're going to criticise someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars and wondering 'Where the heck is my roof?'
I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.
If you get sent to jail, a friend will bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, "Darn we sure screwed up!
Why is rap so named? Becasue the'c' fell off at the printer.
Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
Constipated people don't give a crap.
Music is like candy - you throw away the rappers.
Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your handin front of all his freinds,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER
Don't follow in my footsteps... I walk into walls.
When in doubt, wear pink.
The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.
No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won’t make you cry.
Adults are just kids with money.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let life wonder how the heck you did that.
TGWF: Thank God We're Female
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!
A good friend will wipe your tears when you get rejected, but a best friend will prank call the boy and say, "You will die in seven days!"
"Real artificial bacon bits" Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go out and buy myself some real-fake bacon bits. Not just fake-fake, real-fake
Christmas lights: To be used for indoor or outdoor use only (as opposed to...?)
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.
Illegal Aliens Welcome!
A good friend will help you find your prince, a best friend will kidnapp him and drag him to you.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
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