Author has written 1 story for Twilight.
Colour(s): Purple and Orange
Have any siblings: 2
--Love & All That Crap--
Ever been in love: No
--This or That--
Fruit or Vegetable: Fruit
--Have You Ever--
Danced in a public place: Usually
--Weird Facts about me--
I have a twin brother.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxI agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!
My night in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away so they can’t hear you and you still have their shoes on.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.
Silence is golden, but SHOUTING IS FUN
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.
I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
I love this quote... do you like it?
We all smile in the same language
Sometimes it is right to do the wrong thing
No one tests the depth of a river with both feet
It takes two people to lie, one to lie and one to listen!
The way I see it...the more people hate me...the less I have to please!
There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.
Where's the good in goodbye?
On the other hand, you have different fingers
I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face!
Actions speak louder than words
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present!
My door is always open, so feel free to leave
Second place is the first loser
When there is a will, I want to be in it
Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson
There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train
It is always funny until someone gets hurt, then it is just hilarious
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take chances
Quitting smoking is easy, I have done it a hundred times.
All generalizations are false
Bad Spellers Untie!
A person who asks a question is a fool for five minutes, a person who doesn't is a fool forever...
The greatest mistake you can make is to always fear making one
Winners never quit and quitters never win
It's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it's really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.
There are 3 kinds of people in life: people who make things happen, people who watch things happen, people who wonder what the hell happened
Have you ever wondered which hurts most: saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had?
Sometimes smart people do very stupid things
Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?
Laughter - The best medicine
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but revenge is to!
I use to have a handle on life but it broke
Silence is golden but shouting is FUN
When all else fails...look cute
Everything is okay in the end and if it's not okay, then it's not the end
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute...screw the fruit!
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
Never say sorry for something you meant to do!
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work
A great pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species.
Indifference will certainly be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Humanitarians help humans but vegetarians EAT vegetables.
There are very few personal problems that can't be excused by an adequate amout of high explosives.
Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them.
It's a control freak thing, I wouldn't let you understand.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
Be sure to always slap your own knee at a knee slaping moment (It will save you from one very awkward moment later!)...
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I hate people, people make me pro-nuclear.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
The headless chicken is after me again
Ahh drunk I'm shit again
I is a college student.
I'm with stupid -->
( o)(o ) What are you looking at?
Save Water - Drink Beer!
ERROR: keyboard not found, press any key to continue
Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself
I am the type of person your parents warned you about
EVIL is just LIVE spelled backwards
Never under estimate the power of stupid people in large groups
Sorre thy speelcheeka isnt werkingg
I am lost. I have gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait.
I am having a staring contest with my monitor
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
I am in shape...round is a shape
Hmm what am I suppose to type here?
If I'm not back in 10 minutes... wait longer!
I am not loud, you are just quiet
I'm in a good mood right now. Don't ruin it by chatting with me!
I'm not online, your computer is lying to you.
Help I've started talking and i can't shut up
This is an "A, B" conversation, so "C" your way out
Scientists and psychiatrists both say 1 out of ever 4 people are crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you are it (I know I am!)
La la la I'm not listening!
Some mistakes are too fun to make just once
Are you gullible? We can cure you! Send 1,000 to...
Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by colour!
Beer...helping ugly people get laid since 1982
Did you know by reading this you have wasted 5 seconds of your life?
Support your local medical examiner- die strangely.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
Boys are like slinky’s; useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Guys are like Lava Lamps; Hot, but not very bright
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I used to hear voices in my head, but we’re okay now.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up
If all the worlds a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others?
Wouldn't it be ironic to die in the living room?
Why do they have the back pain medicine on the bottom shelf at the pharmacy?
If Santa lives at the North Pole, where does the Easter bunny live?
Why are things typed up but written down?
What does the K in K-mart stand for?
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
If you crossed a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
Why are boxing rings square?
How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
If you are in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Why do they call them apartments if they are all shoved together?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Who tastes the dog food to know it has new and improved flavour?
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
If you would like me to help you out, which way did you come in?
The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese
Stop accidents by doing it on purpose
If you do not like my driving, get the hell off the footpath
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
I joke about drugs a lot, but in reality, I take them seriously
Guess who I saw today? Everyone who I looked at
If you ever need me, please hesitate to call
I don't discriminate... I hate everyone
If you can't amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullshit
I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.
One tequila... two tequila... three tequila...floor!
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I'm perfect!
3 out of 4 voices in my head say go back to sleep!
As I told you a minute ago... I do not repeat myself
No officer, there's no blood in my alcohol system
I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
My mum keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.
Smile...it confuses people!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.
Caution: Water wet when raining.
Don't follow my footsteps...I walk into walls
Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong!
If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious.
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
When they discover the centre of the universe, some people will be very disappointed when they find out its not them.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was the suspect.
I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
It's better to be pissed off then pissed on.
Its national loser week! I'm so glad to see you participating!
Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?
I'm multi-talented...I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
What a coincidence! I love me too!
I hope life isn't one big joke because I don't get it!
If you're drinking apple juice, and it's warm, odds are that it isn't apple juice!
I know Kung Fu, Karate, and other 30 dangerous words
Shit doesn't just happen, arseholes cause it!
I speak two languages, English and Bad English
A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions?
If two wrongs don't make a right try three
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb arse?"
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend tells you that you deserve better. A best friend calls him up and says, "Seven days!"
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"
A good friend will bail you out of gaol. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "We fucked up! Let's do it again!"
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowd’s arse that left you.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend says “See you later!” A best friend says “I LUV YOU! DON'T LEAVE!" and then tackle/hug you.
A good friend forgives you. A best friend will hold a fake grudge against you until you give them what they want.
A good friend politely refuses food. A best friend demands it and wipes you pantry clean.
A good friend likes you. A best friend loves you.
A good friend laughs with you. A best friend laughs at you.
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