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Joined 11-10-08, id: 1738917, Profile Updated: 04-19-10
Author has written 5 stories for Twilight.

Aro is jealous of meh legs, Rosalie wants to be me, and Jasper wishes he had my arms.

Hey, guess what? To attempt to make this page more interesting, I shall do some of those random questions people put up about themselves so that they can complain about cyber stalkers. Hey, you stalk me if you wish but at last count I had 281.5 stalkers (likely to have gone up since I wrote that).

Name: Wouldn't you like to know?

Age: 27 because that is an uber sexy number (like my legs. Not saying that my legs are a number...)

Likes: Reading Terry Pratchett & other books, horse riding, listing to music, eating gelato, qbaipeeing people etc.

Hates: Ya mum, the fact that I put 'ya mum' first because it makes me sound like a bogan, people who annoy me (le duh!), people who sing crap pop songs loudly because they think they can sing which, as a matter of fact, THEY CAN'T, etc.


Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Comes down to: put ipod on shuffle and write down song name as an answer for the question.

1. How does the world see me?

Best Thing in Town - Greenday (It's because of my legs)

2. Will I have a happy life?

Hate You - Reel Big Fish (I think that I'll take that as a no, damn it)

3. What do people really think of me?

Big Time Operator - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (And what does that mean, exactly?)

4. Do people secretly lust after me?

I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face - Rex Harrison ('Accustomed' isn't quite lust, is it?)

5. How can I make others happy?

Bottle of Smoke - The Pogues (I give them a bottle of smoke?)

6. How can I make myself happy?

My Girl Lollipop - Bad Manners (I'll assume that means that I should marry Demi)

7. What should I do with my life?

Take a bow - Muse (Goes to show how interesting I am)

8. Will I ever have children?

Devil's Dance Floor - Flogging Molly (I'll take that as a no, thankfully.)

9. What is some good advice for me?

Mafia - Bad Manners (As in, I should go join the Mafia?)

10. What do I think my current theme song is?

Hey Pachuco! - Royal Crown Revue (Slightly random, but hey, I like the song.)

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

Ding-dong Daddy of the D-Car Line - Cherry Poppin' Daddies

12. What song will play at my funeral?

Sorry My Friend - Save Ferris (As in I'm saying I'm sorry I'm dead, or they are apologizing for killing me?)

13. What type of men do you like?

My Girlfriends Dad's a Vicar - Toy Dolls (And I'm not to sure what that is meant to mean...)

14. What is my wedding day going to be like?

You won't make a fool out of me - Flogging Molly (Which is good, right?)

15. Why am I here?

I'm A Teapot - The Goodies (And here I was think thinking that I was a cornflake!)

16. What will people remember me for?

Suicide - Bad Manners (Lovely. Just absolutely lovely.)

17. What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?

Minnie The Moocher - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (Yay! I like that song!)

18. Are there people outside waiting to take me away?

Between a Man and a Woman - Flogging Molly (Okay, so the people are standing between a man and a woman. Right...)

19. What will this year be all about?

Guns of Navarone - The Skalites (Bang! B-bang bang bang!

20 - If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:

Shake Your Lovemaker - Cherry Poppin' Daddies (Now I'm going to have to climb up their just to shout it.)

21 - The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:

I Heard A Rumor - Bananarama (So it's going to be serious, then.)

22 - Your message to the world:

Everyone Knows You're Crazy - Royal Crown Revue (So SNAP!)

23 - Your deepest secret:

I did it for the toys - Dance Hall Crashers (Just goes to show...)

24 - Your innermost desire:

I don't wanna know - Dr. Raju (So you can't know it either. HA!)

25 - Your oldest memory makes you think:

Are You Monster - Bad Manners (Well? Are you?)

26 - Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah - The Pogues (Well, I haven't yet, but next wedding I will!)

27 - When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:

He wants me Back - Dance Hall Crashers (But he can't have me)

28 - Right now, your feelings are:

Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire - Fright Rangers (I'm falling in love! But I'm team Jacob... 0.o)

29 - The day you fall in love will be the day that:

Who Knows - Avril Lavigne (I don't)

30- You’d describe you best friend as:

Heavy Petting - Bad Manners (Okay, slightly disturbing)

31- You'd describe yourself as:

I'm Cool - Reel Big Fish (But I'm really Kozol, i.e 'cool' with a 'k' and a silent 'z'.)

32- Your friends describe you as:

Big and bag - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (That's me. Grrrr)

33- In an elevator you are most likely to:

Easy Life - The Bodysnatchers (I don't think I have heard this song before)

34- Your philosophy in life is:

Wrong or right - Dr. Raju (Fair enough, I guess.)

35 - Your farewell message to the readers of this:

Whatsername - Greenday (It's because I love you all so much. Really.)

Hello peoples,

I am a Twilight and Dr.Who fan, although i will just be writing Twilight FF.

Anyways... please read review my storys. Mail me, I like to talk. About anything. Well, nearly anything. Oh, and I love Dr. Who. He is just plain awsome. End of story. As is Jacob Black... which reminds me, take meh poll.

And I think I have a coven of vampires near me, they have been playing alot of baseball latley. I mean ALOT. With the bus drivers.

And... I am High Goddess of The Purple Flying Dragon Religion, and therefore hate all people who follow the religion of the invisible pink unicorn. But i still like unicorns in general. Anyway, this all pretty much comes down to, "I am a tree." -Experience, The Black Sheep. You know, watching that movie might have been a bit of a mistake. Oh well. What has been done is done. You live and learn. You know, I think I would make a great philosopher. Which reminds me...

"If a tree falls in the forest, and here's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?" If you have an answer e-mail me, and explain your answer.

Yes... Oh, I'm engaged to death! Is that not wonderful news? I bet you are all very, very jealous.

I am var, var bored, so instead of writing meh fanfic I is writing this. Such is life. Ohhhh, guess what? I just got a t-shirt which says 'I kissed a vampire & i liked it'! That makes me very happy indeed. Happy as Larry, and that is a happy Larry not a depressed Larry. Larry... that is a really odd word, like Leoplurodon. Wow. And banana. And perpendicular. Wow, I spelt perpendicular right! that is bloody amazing. I must go and tell Tara right away! You know, I really should be going because I am ment to be cleaning the bathroom, but this really is much more fun, but the bathroom calls...



Team Jacob!!

I love Jane and Aro! YAY!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Without You by AnnikaMalfoy reviews
What if Alice never came back after Bella went cliff diving? What if Bella let herself love Jacob? What will Bella feel when Edward comes back the day she graduates?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 24 - Words: 58,077 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 3/6/2014 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
The Amazing Adventures of Aro the Arotastic! by sassyblackfish reviews
A new reality TV series following our Arotastic friend with hidden cameras to truly discover the secrets of the Amazing Aro. Rated T for mention of grown-up stuff and whimsicality. Insanity is rational in an insane world. Permanent Hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 36 - Words: 64,278 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Aro
10 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters by Patronus Charm reviews
Title pretty much explains all. Not my best fic as it has no plot but hey read it any way. First Chapter is Edward Cullen. Contest results now UP! NOW COMPLETE! Please read the Authors Note!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 27 - Words: 12,266 - Reviews: 800 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Complete
10 Things: Twilight Style by a little erratic reviews
Lists of 10 things such as: 10 Things the Volturi Frequently do, 10 Things Edward Does while Bella Sleeps, and 10 Cullen Nicknames! Which Twilight character bought a Snuggie? Find out in Ch. 7! Companion to 10 Things: Harry Potter Style. More to come!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,076 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Aro, Bella
Responsibility by StringynKel reviews
Aro gets a pet fish, and Caius remembers why he hates animals.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 700 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Aro, Caius - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Leah's Love reviews
Leah's at a party... and she sees her true love.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 588 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Leah, Seth
If Edward had bitten Bella reviews
What would have happend if Edward had bitten Bella in biology... Please read and rate, its my first fan fiction.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,792 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/4/2009 - Published: 11/16/2008 - Bella, Edward
What was wrong with the movie reviews
O.k... s it's a bit late. Get over it.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,164 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Cullen Song reviews
Like the llama song, but with Cullens... is alot better than it sounds.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 260 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/27/2009 - Published: 11/16/2008 - Alice, Edward
Cullen Werewolf Mambo No5 reviews
What the title says...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 153 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Jacob, Emmett