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Joined 11-12-08, id: 1740417, Profile Updated: 03-24-09
Author has written 7 stories for Twilight.

hello there :)... my name is rachel. you can call me muffinz. Im 13 and an ametur. i suck at spelling sorry. music is in my soul. im christinan. I freaking love emmett cullen and seth clearwater. who doesnt love seth? not a jacob fan but dont want him to die a tragic long painful death, just a long and painful. I HATE taylor lautner. ughh can you say GAY? (no offence homosexuals, nothing against you, i promise)

favorite bands

death cab for cutie
Matt nathanson
forever the sickest kids
the veronicas
all american rejects
kan ye west
tokyo hotel
taylor swift
jason maraz
three says grace
jack johnson
fall out boy
my chemical romance
natasha beiningfield
mitch hasen band
bella cullen project
likin park
we the kings
breaking benjiman
martin sexton
a change of pace
metro station
brittney spears
katy perry
the killers


smart,funny,LOUD,annoying,clumsy,outgoing,random,weird,unique,obsessed,perverted,hippie,romantic,deep,happy,musicianist,bubbly,optimistic,messed-up,belong in and aslyum:),13,anti-social, histrionic, obsessive-copulsive,schizophrenic,ME

last time cried- hmmmm dont remember
do u use sarcasm- no! (heavy sarcasm there if u didnt notice)
first thing u notice about people?- eyes
pink or red?- RED IS FIERCE!
what are you wearing?- i love my outfit ;) cullen boys hoodie a love deliahs shirt a black and white headband converse and gray skinny jeans
what are you listening to- given up by lincoln park wait! its changing to fences by paramore
if you were a crayon what color would u be- rainbow! im a littlebitof everthing!
last thingyou ate- a yummy sliceofkey lime pie
last person talked to on the phone- brother asking if i wanted him to pick me up something for lunch
polka dot or strip- stripes
when i was little... i was FREAK i rw\an around the house with underwear on my head!(clean onesof course)
i tend to make friends with- THE FREAKING AWESOMEST PEOPLE EVER!

Random facts about rachel:

i have random laughing fits

im one of those losers that read profiles

99.9 of the time im happy

i hate being called normal, thats the worst thing some1 can say to me (other than the cullens arnt real and jacob black rules)

i DO belive everyone has a good side

i dont get how people can call me preppy, goth, a ditzy blonde,& a nerd all in one day

im a little random and crazy, if little you mean i hear voices and have imaginery friends & like to say i have a vampwolf squirrel named ninja-bear who is in love with tigger

i put on glitter and purple eyeshadow & wear gold contacts just like vampires most days

i belive an apple a day keeps carlile away so i NEVER eat apples

im friendly so dont be afraid to come talk to me

copy and paste :)

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile(super sexy ninja land)

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this to your profile.

If you read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

if you in love with emmett cullen,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Emmett" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

me: more addicted to twilight than you since 1995

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

u say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love..

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts. (What were you supposed to do? Throw them at the people sitting near you?)

On a child's Superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly. (I blame the parents for that one)

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!


Im the girl when they called weird said damn straight

im the girl that laughs in the middle of a silent room because of something that happened yesterday

im the girl that never says never

im the girl that is not afraid to stand up for someone

im the girl that doesnt care what people think

im the girl that gets crushes on the sweet funny guys not the hot jocks

im the girl that is smart but nobody admits it

im the girl that truly doesnt care if you insult or make fun of

im the girl that acts like herself around guys, not a flirty hard to get girl

im the girl thats make perverted jokes with guys

im the girl that says 'thats what he says'

im the girl that is sassy and is firecley protective of friends

and many more...

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Notes Galore! by Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter reviews
What happens when you mix a very hyper Bella, a pad of paper and a pen? THIS! Baisiclly, the Cullen's start passing note instead of talking. Very random, very, very OOC. Very funny. So, please read and reveiw.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 121 - Words: 40,684 - Reviews: 2742 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Complete
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13054 - Favs: 6,182 - Follows: 2,784 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dear Mr Diary by LethalxLilly reviews
Emmett has a diary? Well this could only mean one thing: Emmett likes to journal. And it triggers random crazy events. Like Dora, christmas tree Alice, Sky Dieing, singing, blowing things up and the such. :D Rated Q for mass destruction.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 65 - Words: 38,274 - Reviews: 895 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 2/6/2010 - Published: 12/15/2007 - Complete
War by Camila101 reviews
Bella and Edward have a little love war after Bella teases him. Who wins? Edward and Bella fluff don't own anything
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 20,130 - Reviews: 606 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 353 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 12/1/2007
Is your Fridge Running by isabellsah cullen reviews
So Bella stays at the Cullen's house and the pranking begins with Bella! It has some ExB fluff and a lot of laughs! Emmett singing,not swearing, annoying Bella... Interested?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 77,075 - Reviews: 1453 - Favs: 644 - Follows: 524 - Updated: 8/1/2009 - Published: 5/31/2008
Truth or dare with the pack by lildevil76 reviews
Edward is out hunting for the day and Bella is left with nothing to do. Jacob comes, him and the pack apologize and want to catch up and end up playing truth or dare & R&R PWEASE :D [COMPLETE] WOOOOOOO
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 22,863 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 5/19/2007 - Complete
Home Movies by Adieu l'apathie reviews
An embarrassing thing, childhood is. Renee is a catalyst for Bella's embarrassment, and Edward enjoy's every minute of it. Indefinite Hiatus, Sorry
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,237 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/6/2009 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Bella, Edward
High School for the Cullens by reader13lovesbooks reviews
It is a new town for the Cullens. What could possibly be horrible about six vampires stuck in a building full of hormonal teenagers and perverted staff? How about a vampire in a hospital with desperate nurses? Esme's here. Renesmee and Jacob on honeymoon
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 55,037 - Reviews: 1150 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 5/5/2009 - Published: 11/16/2008
Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2797 - Favs: 569 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
10 Things: Twilight Style by a little erratic reviews
Lists of 10 things such as: 10 Things the Volturi Frequently do, 10 Things Edward Does while Bella Sleeps, and 10 Cullen Nicknames! Which Twilight character bought a Snuggie? Find out in Ch. 7! Companion to 10 Things: Harry Potter Style. More to come!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,076 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Aro, Bella
Phone Numbers by KellmettRocksThatHat reviews
The guys minus Carlisle bring Bella clubbing. They decide to play a 'game' at the end of the night and Bella's not to happy when the guys don't count her as competition! Will she prove them right or will they have their butts kicked by a human?R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,169 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 1/4/2009 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Human? by TayliaNinja reviews
What if the Cullens were turned into humans for a few days? How would they react? What would they look like? R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,557 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 12/30/2008 - Published: 10/13/2008 - Bella, Edward
Notes by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,990 - Reviews: 2869 - Favs: 2,059 - Follows: 972 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
Truth Or Dare? by Heyyyymuscles reviews
A childish game of truth or dare between Renesemee and Jacob soon turns out to hold more than they had anticipated as their love blossoms. Will Jacob show Nessie that she can't live without him? R&R Normal pairings, set after breaking dawn - spoilers
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,372 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 109 - Updated: 12/20/2008 - Published: 8/27/2008 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Renee's Dinner Party with the Cullen Coven by ebhg reviews
Follows Getting to Know the Cullen Coven. Can the Cullens hide in plain sight, choke down Thanksgiving Dinner, find Emmett's filter and keep Renee clueless when she comes to town? Chapter 3 is up. Complete
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,662 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 11/27/2008 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
It Was All A bet by Brindalyn reviews
Edward and Emmett make a bet, Edward loses and his punishment is to teach a certain young lady named Bella to play the piano. What happens if her blood is not the only thing that attracts him? Usual Parings This is rated T, not quite M but Hot stuff!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 141,910 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 11/4/2008 - Published: 9/7/2008 - Edward - Complete
The Beginning by musicislife159 reviews
Charlie dies mysteriously. Bella moves in the with Cullens. What will happen? Involes suicidal thoughts and drama. READ AND REVIEW.Please and thank you.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,732 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/18/2008
A Lot to Love by JBizz reviews
What if Edward changed Bella without her having to marry him? Then on top of her change Bella has to deal with this knew development....Emmett and Jasper are falling for her. Aw hell....what is a girl to do?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,738 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/9/2008 - Published: 9/9/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward Cullen? Scared? by ForEverTopaz1901 reviews
Edward and Bella watch a scary movie at Charlie's house. Bella sure gets a kick out of Edward's reaction to a part in the movie. Who knew that it would start a war of pranks over at the Cullens! Enjoy! R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,426 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 7/23/2008 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Human Experiences by iwish1986 reviews
After Edward and Bella are married, the Cullens decide to give Bella as many human experiences as possible as a wedding gift. What experiences will each character choose?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 37,350 - Reviews: 1172 - Favs: 611 - Follows: 401 - Updated: 7/21/2008 - Published: 10/29/2007 - Complete
Critical Hours by ChrissyParkerCullen reviews
Edward and Bella prepare for their upcoming nuptials and come to terms with the aftermath of the events in Eclipse. Will it go smoothly? Set after Eclipse. All original storylines and pairings apply. Character-driven plot. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 23,534 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 6/20/2008 - Published: 4/9/2008
Thirteen Reasons Why by runaway xo reviews
Edward proves his love to Bella by showing her thirteen reasons why he loves her. Takes place after Eclipse. Major Fluff. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 43,971 - Reviews: 1446 - Favs: 1,366 - Follows: 419 - Updated: 5/31/2008 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8389 - Favs: 7,544 - Follows: 1,742 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Names by KlutzLike Bella reviews
Bella and Edward have a conversation that leaves Edward speechless....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,138 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 316 - Follows: 44 - Published: 5/11/2008 - Complete
Christmas with the Cullens by awesomelyme reviews
This is a random story about what Christmas would be like for Bella with the Cullens. Between Alice decorating and giving gifts the possibilities are endless. Please R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 41,925 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 2/5/2008 - Published: 12/7/2007 - Complete
New Vampire Experiences by PrettyKittyh2o reviews
Sequel to Last Human Moments. This is Bella's first experiences as a vampire and how her and the Cullen's deal with them. 'I Looked into his greenishgold eyes, Forever is Forever Right' Please R&R, Thank you PrettyKitty!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 17,353 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 12/25/2007 - Published: 11/17/2007
Camping with the Cullens by Bhee-R.2006 reviews
Alice and her big ideas! While Charlie is fishing, Alice decides that Bella should accompany the Cullens on a camping trip. But will they be able to handle it out in the wilderness? And what happens when the new kid develops a thing for Bella?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,098 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 12/9/2007 - Published: 11/14/2007
Jasper and Bella's sleepover! by Jaspersonlymistress reviews
Emmett and Edward leave for a hunting trip, Alice and Carlisle are in Chicago for the weekend and Esme is Busy with her new job. But charlie is in Pheniox on a buisness trip so Bella has to stay with Jasper for the weekend. Funny and full of Randomness
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 7,202 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/3/2007 - Published: 10/29/2007
Vampires in Vegas by vjgm reviews
Alice and Rosalie decide to take Bella to Vegas for a bachelorette party against her will. The boys feeling leftout, decide to get themselves into a little trouble too. 1st fanfict...rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,254 - Reviews: 1476 - Favs: 1,995 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 9/28/2007 - Published: 9/21/2007 - Complete
1918 by Kait Hobbit reviews
Elizabeth Sophia Masen has everything a woman of her time could want A loving husband, a son she adores and a easy lifestyle in Chicago.But disaster is looming and soon everything she knows will fall apart as infuenza sweeps the city and her family.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 27,544 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/14/2007 - Published: 4/3/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Switch reviews
post breaking dawn edward and bella go hunting and encounter an odd new vampire OC and he works his magic on them. he switches them in there bodies.Now they must track down the vampire and reverse the spell before its to late! R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,521 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/21/2009 - Published: 3/20/2009 - Bella, Edward
Emmett's singer reviews
Oneshot pre-twilight: In twilight Edward mentions to bella that emmett had a singer and he had killed her. Well this that story. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 597 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/23/2009 - Emmett - Complete
Game night with the cullens reviews
Carlisle and esme go hunting so what does alice do? Have a party! bella embarks on a journey with edward and the rest of the gang. Includes spin the bottle truth or dare twister etc.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,020 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 3/10/2009 - Edward, Bella
You may now kiss the bride reviews
used to be forever lunar! The wedding in Breaking dawn but in edwards point of view! oneshot and fluff
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 935 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My lullaby reviews
Edward and who share a special moment? canon pairings. because he and her dont have enough moments together. breaking dawn spoilers ?pov
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 346 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
his arms my soul reviews
a look into bellas mind while edward holds her fluff oneshot
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 166 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The fire raging from within reviews
bella's outlook of the transformation DID NOT WRITE FOR FANFICTION
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 270 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete