Author has written 6 stories for Maximum Ride.
Greetings those who have decided to stalk my page! Enter at your own risk, my insane mind has pretty much taken over this entire page. Bewareeeeeeeee
So, here is some stuff about me:
Name: It includes letters from the alphabet :D
Gender: girl or female, they're the same thing (I hope...)
MORE PERSONAL INFO PLEASE READ STALKER PEOPLE! :D just kidding! don't read if you're a stalker who wants to kill me/eat me for breakfast, lunch, or dinner:
Tv: House, Glee, Lie to Me, Bones, Warehouse 13, and others that I can't remember!
Books: MANY! Max Ride (Not as good as it used to be), The Hunger Games Trilogy, y more!
Music: can't list them all!
Calculators: wait... this is so not relevant!
Tissue Brands: what the... who's writing this? oh... right... me... heh heh I'll answer anyway! Puffs! and the really really soft Kleenex tissues are epic too!
Math: TRICK QUESTION! math = never fun!
Crazy People: MY FRIENDS! (fried pea enchiladas! fried pea enchiladas forever!!)
THIS IS... OVER! (hahaha yeah I'm sooooo tired)
I own a dog(profile picture is my dog), a cat. My dog is Sam the Australian Shepherd and our cat is Kayla.
Hi to any of those people who may or may not know me (but mostly this is a hi to the people I know... you know who you are... obviously)
I LOVE PIE!! Especially apple pie because i don't really know and it's about 1:47(am) when I'm writing this so I'm insanely tired but not feeling tired so um bye!
Ignore the weird things! This page is sooooooo old I don't remember half the stuff I wrote :P
Why the World Fails... For the Most Part:
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions (that would be me xD)
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance (woo money!!)
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away (hmmm maybe... TAKE THEIR PETS!! TAKE THEIR PETS!!)
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me (I would seriously do that... ha ha am I great or what?)
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we messed up" (nah my friends aren't dangerous... they just wanna take over the world)
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me (depends...)
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad" (surprisingly afraid of other peoples' parents)
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place (laughs evily...)
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too. (IDIOTS RULE WOO!!)
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those
who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Bring on the Awesomeness (Otherwise known as the land of the Copied and the Pasted):
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus/car/taxi/train/subway/civillian/rabid dog, copy this into your profile. (I know more than a few people who should be involved with "accidents")
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.
If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever ran into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile. (Please, blame the dog!)
If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men(or newspaper people) for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile (Does it count if I do it on purpose?)
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a detention or library or somewhere where it is supposed to be quiet copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile (It's subconscious)
If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. (OK fine, I don't think this ever happened to me, but I wish it did. Isn't that reason enough?)
If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever forgotten your own name, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten your own age, copy and paste this into your profile. (And at the doctor's office of all places! I still laugh at that one)
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for being obsessed with a book about six flying kids (and their dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile. (Sometimes I really wish I knew what my dog was thinking... it most likely has to do with biscuits)
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I think it's going to be called Nightflight or something... not sure)
If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Maximum Ride, Twilight), copy and paste this into your profile!
If you are 13(or over)and do not have/just got(as in, in the past month) a cellphone, copy and paste this to your profile
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it. (if i even had it in the first place that is)
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
Who ever said "nothing is impossible", obviously never tried slamming a revolving door
People are like slinkies, completely useless, but it's funny to watch them fall down the stairs.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder (My personal favorite!!)
Aren't the "good things that come to those who wait" just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? (If they don't, threaten to sick your old grandmother on them!!)
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. (I've got bad aim -cries-)
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Always forgive your enemies... nothing annoys them so much.
Never do anything you dont want to explain to the paramedics (Darn, I should have read this last week!)
If it wasnt for physics and law emforcement i'd be unstoppable
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.
If olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from? (me doesn't want to know)
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet? (cuz you gotta do what you gotta do!)
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she? ("your mom's face")
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat? (Yeah, like those putty erasers that smell really good)
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? (Just for the record, I am not afraid of mice. My first pets were mice and I actually had a very nice pet rat before... it's too bad I was allergic to her... and I guess it's sad that she died as well)
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler? (my friend in spamish class actually tried this and was completely shocked when I was right) (
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn? (I will try that next time I pop popcorn) (
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to the people that work nights?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you. (run from the first graders!)
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a little lamb? (Because her parents didn't like rats :P)
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be "under par" in any thing else?
I ran with scissors, and lived! (And then I ran with a spoon and died!)
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either dateing someone, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Stupid shiny Volvo owner. (And I copied & pasted that... why?)
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. (There isn't anything more true than that!)
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Which way does a compass point in space?
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
They laugh because we're losers...
People say I'm stupid, I tell them not to be jealous! (ok that's never happened to me... they always say I'm smart and I'm the one trying to prove them otherwise... then again there is one of my friends who constantly makes me feel as though I'm stupid or dumb in her eyes. It really makes me feel bad but you just can't tell people stuff like that they never seem to listen and just push you away.) (
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Copy and paste this into your profile if you have a friend who does way too much work(school work, work-work doesn't matter)
Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.
Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.
There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.
One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang", I don't think you'd kill too many people.
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia. (You poor Australians...)
You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow.
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. (yep!)
Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork. (or a Q-tip)
Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!
So what if we act like immature idiots? We're having fun. (I completely agree)
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless. (he-he... I know a friend who this applies to... She WILL rule the world)
If I asked for your opinion, I'd take the tape off your mouth.
I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie.
There's nothing wrong with taking to random objects, its when they start to talk back that you need to worry.(heh heh see conversation with computer above tehe)
Who ever said that words never hurt obviously has never got hit by a dictionary.
If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me
My imaginary friend thinks you have some serious problems
The voices in my head don't like you
Even if the voices aren't real...they have some good ideas
Nine of the ten Voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided
The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're ok, then it's you!
Growing older is manditory. Growing up is Optional
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had
Yeah, I'm a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet
Save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.
I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones i accept!
Therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide (I...POP...hate...POP...therapy...POP! XD)
I used to see a shrink... until she said life isn't for everyone
Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it (can't lose what ya never had PERSONS!!)
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide
Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend
Tell the truth and run
If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? (morons!)
Random Things to Think About:
Why don't you ever see the headline:
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why do Doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why they don't make the whole plane out of the
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
If con is the opposite of pro,
Why is lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
Why do they call the airport "the terminal"
Why is it called common sense if it's so rare?
Why do you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Poems/Whatevers that DO NOT belong to me but I find awesome none-the-less:
Roses are red,
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
One bright morning...
Random Quiz Time:
1. What is your occupation? Summer Vacationer (
2. What color is your underwear? Lets skip this question... BESIDES why the h (
3. What are you listening to right now? Silence as it is past the middle of the night
4. What was the last thing you ate? Food
5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Neon Green
6. How is the weather right now? Cold/Warm/weird
7. Favorite drink? Root Beer &/or Orange Juice
8. Favorite sport to watch? Really dislike sports
9. Have you ever dyed your hair? Nope (but I'm thinking blue...)
10. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses
11. Pets?Australian Shepherd(dog), Sam; Main Coone(cat), Kayla; oops! the hamster died!!
12. What is your favorite T.V. show? Too many favorites to list but here we go: House; Lie to Me; Leverage; iCarly; Ace of Cakes; Extreme Makeover: Home Edition; Jon and Kate Plus Eight; Bones; Warehouse 13; Glee;
13. What was the last movie you watched? Up
14. Favorite day of the year? November 24 (My Birthday)
15. What do you do to vent anger? Slam doors/ stomp around/ pout(and my new favorite! Destroying cakes that I made but my sister frosted without permission then get attacked by my sister(who is older than me by two years)! FUN!!)
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? A dog (black labrador to be exact) ... still is my favorite toy
17. Fall or Spring? Spring (WARMER!!)
18. Hugs or kisses? Hugs (other one... EWWWWW) (why do people ask these weird questions?)
19. Cherry or Blueberry? Blueberry
20. What is on the floor of your closet? Can we just leave it at "It's not money"?
21.Favorite smell? Cupcakes/my mom's food/dog shampoo (coconut smells best and I'm always stuck washing my dog)
22. What inspires you? Words
23. What are you afraid of? Dying... I can spend hours finding out ways I can die before some major event (and people say I'm morbid! haha) and also: being hit by any type of ball in p.e.
24. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? plain... allergic to dairy and spicy isn't my favorite thing in the world
25. Favorite car? Not like I can drive or anything so not like I have a favorite car
26. Favorite dog breed?Schnauzer/Weimaraner (short coats and great temperament) However, my Aussie is super awesome too, he's an idiot but he's got a great personality :P
27. Number of keys on your key ring? One... special me!
28. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
29. How many states have you lived in? 1
30. How many cities have you lived in? 1 (we might have moved when I was a baby)
31. Ever driven a Motorcycle or Heavy machinery? Yes... shhhh I'm not supposed to tell(IT WAS SOOOO FUN he-he Heavy machinery is awesome)
Other Random Quiz:
Where are you? – My Bedroom(aka where my computer is)
Look up. Now look back. What do you see? – The Ceiling
What's the last thing you ate/drank? – Something edible
What's your personality like? – It changes
Who do you have a crush on? – Skipping...
What was the last thing you thought? – Why do you care about this stuff?(that was actually my thought)
You have a million dollars. What do you do? – Spend it! DUH!
Grab the closest thing to you. What is it? – A dog encyclopedia my friend gave me for my birthday
Say George Bush, what do you think of???- A shrub named George (always have, always will)
What are you eating/drinking right now? – Does Air count?
Find a globe. Spin it. What does it say?- Are you automatically assuming that I have a globe handy when I'm on the computer?
Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, word 6. What does it say? (from Epic by Conor Kostick) face
What can you hear right now? The song Five Minutes to Midnight by Boys Like Girls that is blasting (I like my music turned up loud) through the earbuds of my iPod which I have plugged into my computer and am listening to via Pandora.com
Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself. "Hello computer, I am very weird for talking to you" "BEEP BEEEP" "Ahh, well my dear computer you are very correct indeed. I shall soon be going to an insane asylum!" Yeah... that was un bueno conversation.
Turn on T.V. What show is on? Male parental unit (the one that people besides me refer to as "dad") is watching Top Gear on the television
Type your name with your elbow.m ,asxciom,km,rtidferisat6u4rh4rew6h00ooi3gh456 ~ that's waaay too long.
Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see? a door handle
What happened last time you were typing on this computer?I played a new game from nitrome.com called Powerup.
Ah the memories... when did I take this again? Is it customary to update these things regularly? Ah, well... who cares?
By the way, fixing the numerous errors in this entire page is going to take me forever so if I've missed anything, I apologize and hope you to believe in my non-idiot ways.
Eventually I'll be annoyed enough to fix the errors in my fan fiction stories... but... not today :P
Story Status: NOTE: EVERYTHING IS ON HOLD FROM HERE ON OUT although I have things I've read but never posted... maybe if I do some tweaking I might put them up but that's a very slim might
THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT PEOPLE!!! :D
Fin's Story - ON HOLD
Funny Oneshots - Material is greatly appreciated however ON HOLD
All Just a Part of the Plan - Sort of not on hold any more
That Darn Paperclip - ON HOLD
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