Author has written 7 stories for Gossip Girl, Twilight, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Weeds, Big Time Rush, and Flash.
The Rules of Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms".
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month". haha too late. I already did.
10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand.
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work".
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. IDEA!
17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day".
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort.
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full".
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween.
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bee's".
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core".
31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin.
32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends".
35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.
36) I do not have a Tom Felton Patronous.
37) I will not lick Trevor.
38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey".
39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
42) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
43) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.
44) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
45) In the middle of the tri wizard tournament I will not scream "Are you trying to kill them?!"
46) I will not draw a thunder scar on my forehead and tell everyone i'm 'The-Other-Person-Who-Lived' and round up a ginger guy and a bushy-haired, bookworm to seem like Harry Potter.
47) I will not try and immitate Snape's voice from a wall and sneak up on first years just to scare them.
48) I will not call Harry Potter a tosser.
49) Must not shout 'Yay, I graduated from Hogwarts. I didn't get expelled. In your face fat giant!' to Hagrid.
50) Never stalk Hermione in the library and become the new Viktor Krum, whether i'm a girl or not.
51) I will not pick my nose with my wand or anyone else's, just my finger.
52) Must not try out to get into my house Quidditch team and keep using a Confundus charm to get in