ashtong21
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Joined 11-16-08, id: 1744338, Profile Updated: 05-04-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Well, i'm a typical teenager... I love reading books such as the Twilight series and the Harry Potter series. maybe im not normal, but im a teenager lol.

I am addicted to fan fiction. Which is dumb because these stories didn't actually happen, because they were only based on other stories that didn't actually happen! Regardless, this site is addicting.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

Total number of people i've made twilight addicts out of: 5... and i will create many many more!!

snuggie cult video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWHlvtWhum0&feature=channel_page

its totally what i thought when i saw the commercial!

Effective Ways On How To Annoy/Scare/Weird Out The Living Daylights Outta People (on elevators, in computer labs, etc.)
1. Repeat everything the person says in a question.
2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World." incessantly.
3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
4. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh no, not now, damn motion sickness!"
11. Meow occasionally. (Brian can do this and actually sound like a real cat... him and bolly started speaking cat back and forth and it was hysterical!)
12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
18. Say, "I wonder what all these do." and push the red buttons.
19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
25. Ask every passenger that goes up if you can press the button for them.
26. Log on to a computer, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream: "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
27. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
28. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the dang thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
29. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
30. Bring a chain saw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
31. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
32. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
33. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, and then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
34. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
35. Send e-mails constantly to the person next to you.
36. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
37. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
38. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
39. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
40. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
41. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
42. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
43. Swat at flies that don't exist.
44. Dance, while drumming noisily against the walls.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever shouted a random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more MWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. -evil laugh-... parking garage... yellow bunnies... blue m&m's... Aston Martin... random words...)

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. Only a vegetarian, like the Cullens! I don't want to eat people!

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile. (And multiple other Twilight words. Volturi, Carlisle, Irina, etc.) (note: none of those Twilight words showed up as misspelled.)

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

I read New Moon and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when:
You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward!
You think your next-door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire.
You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.
You've read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse at least 5 times each!
You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news.
You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight, New Moon, and/or Eclipse.
When you see a box labeled "Forks", you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.
Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you.
You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up.
You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward.
You have nothing to do, so you go to www.stepheniemeyer.com and read everything on the site twice. And then go to the Lexicon and do the same thing.
You promise your friend that if he can find you an Edward, you'll give him the answers to your homework for the rest of your school-life.
You plan on naming your children after characters in any of the books in the Twilight series.
You walk around school looking for pale-skinned, inhumanly beautiful classmates with red or gold eyes.
You see a shadow, think it's Edward, and start talking to it.

If you get super upset and throw a fit until all the people in the room run away whenever someone says that the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped on air, and were so happy because you thought Edward Cullen might come and save you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony (or Bella, but that's another story), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a long list of fictional book/ movie characters that you are in love with, but Edward Cullen is clearly at the top of, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever fallen asleep at around 2 am reading Twilight , New Moon, and/or Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think it's vampires playing ball, copy and paste this int your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this onto your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that you now have a built in Volvo radar, copy this into your profile

If you think Stephenie Meyer is one of the best writers in existence, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the Twilight series will rule the universe, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Bella and Edward were meant to be together, copy this into your profile!

If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with any or all of the Cullens, but you don't really care because you don't want to heal quite frankly, post this. (I admit it, I'm overly obsessed, but I don't care!)

If whenever you see or hear the name 'Edward' you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much and then people stare at you and tell you to shut up and let it go, post this.

If you have Twilight/New Moon/ Eclipse memorized, post this.

If you completely got over your Harry Potter obsession when you read Twilight, copy and paste this on your program

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out loud?

Twilight: because we all secretly own two copies.

Twilight: Because a small part inside of us broke when we realized our boyfriends weren't mythical monsters

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

If you read the Twilight series, and afterward wanted to do a large number of bad things to Jacob, copy and paste this onto your profile ;)

If you think that Twilight is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile. :P

If you've reread Twilight over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile. XD

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen's Including Bella Disorder.
AV is Addicted to Vampires- if you have either of these copy and paste into ur pro

Copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said gorgeous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile

If people mistake you for a vampire (cough cough or you are one cough cough)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Twilight, copy and past this into your profile.

If you can quote Stephanie Meyer's literary works like me, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read Eclipse, and believe that Jacob was a jerk to Bella for making her choose, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile

If you think Mike Newton should be run over by a bus copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that bus should also take out Eric copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that bus should be driven by Tyler so he can die in the crash copy and paste this into your profile

If you are Twilight obsessed, copy and paste this into your profile

If you you think Edward is frickin HOT copy + paste this into your profile

If you think Edward is perfect for Bella, paste this onto your profile

If you hate Jacob Black and thinks that he needs to get pushed off a cliff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate Mike and you're not afraid to say it, paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica can be annoying paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica and Mike belong together because they're both annoying and stupid, paste this into your profile

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TWILIGHT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13061 - Favs: 6,138 - Follows: 2,787 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Summer Love by Little Red In The Tardis reviews
Bella he whispered, so low that i had to strain to hear it. Bella, I'm a Vampire. I looked over my shoulder and stopped walking. I know. I whispered back. I know. my twist on Twilight. Bella lives with a group of Vampires in italy but is human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 22,210 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 8/29/2011 - Published: 8/31/2007
Welcome to the Real World by twilightluver001 reviews
Sequel to "Welcome to Drama Academy". As Bella and Edward continue pursuing their careers, they find life isn't as easy as they thought it would be. How will they overcome the pressure from work and family together? Takes place 6 years after Drama Academy
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 163,948 - Reviews: 5862 - Favs: 2,646 - Follows: 2,495 - Updated: 8/20/2011 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Complete
Bella Hale by JulesSC reviews
Six year old Isabella Swan was orphaned after a car crash took her parents away, and Edward and the Cullens find her. Alice decides to keep her, and Edward tries to protect her. Family drama and hilarity ensues as Bella grows up and ExB happens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 386,995 - Reviews: 13591 - Favs: 8,377 - Follows: 6,194 - Updated: 7/8/2011 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Edward, Bella
Only Human by Amethyst Jackson reviews
Complete. A wish sends Bella back in time to Chicago, 1918, and to a human Edward. This story is baby-free.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 60,635 - Reviews: 5964 - Favs: 10,069 - Follows: 2,621 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cursed by cALLIEfornia BENches reviews
They're neighbors and best-selling authors. They're competitive and run in the same circles. It seems like fate is playing with them like toys with they way they're constantly pushed together. It never ends. They hate it--And they hate each other. ExB AH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 149,994 - Reviews: 1440 - Favs: 459 - Follows: 512 - Updated: 7/29/2009 - Published: 9/10/2008 - Bella, Edward
I'm Gonna Bite You! by ahemyywe150 reviews
Edward and Bella have known each other since they were little. Before freshman year of higschool, Edward moves away. Two years later, Bella moves too, and finds Edward at the same school she is going to. Can you say clashing? I can.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 71,547 - Reviews: 1359 - Favs: 829 - Follows: 961 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 7/22/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Project by OliviaJane reviews
Alice has a personal project no one knows about. After finding out her cousins Edward and Emmett are moving to Forks she devises a plan to see to it that her best friends Bella and Rosalie fall for them. Will her project be a success? AH/OOC/Award Nominee
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 35,385 - Reviews: 509 - Favs: 679 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 4/19/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I Want to Marry Edward Cullen! by remy7marie reviews
AU/AH Bella is tricked onto a new reality TV show featuring movie star Edward Cullen. How much more embarrassing or awkward could this possibly be? Rating just increased to M in Chapter 8
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,300 - Reviews: 1062 - Favs: 729 - Follows: 1,086 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 8/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Trust by Sierra Swan reviews
Bella and Edward have always been best friends, when Bella is raped she has panic attacks whenever any guy tries to touch her. Edward has to work to regain her trust and in the process they both fall in love. All human!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 48,584 - Reviews: 1188 - Favs: 755 - Follows: 529 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Complete
Our Little Man by MyBella reviews
Partner to LLC. All Human-OOC. Rated M, but mostly fluff. Edward and Bella are now parents to a baby boy, Charlie. Alice and Jasper have twins, and Lily is talking up a storm. Life for the Cullens isn't as little as it was before. Can they handle it?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 56 - Words: 265,527 - Reviews: 3791 - Favs: 1,902 - Follows: 980 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Complete
Maria by ahemyywe150 reviews
All human! Bella is aspiring towards her dream job but when a family crisis hits her, she has to adapt. This means getting a job as a babysitter for a cute little kid. Except there's one little snag: the kid's brother, Edward Cullen. BxE R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 100,004 - Reviews: 3024 - Favs: 2,630 - Follows: 1,381 - Updated: 5/2/2009 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Complete
Turning Eighteen by cALLIEfornia BENches reviews
He has gained a new life, the opportunity to be human, and a new chance to now turn 18. But will fate’s magnet pull him back to his true reality and finally push him toward his destiny to love? SEQUEL TO WHAT HE WOULD HAVE WANTED, SO READ THAT FIRST! EXB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 95,334 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 174 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Bella, Edward
What He Would Have Wanted by cALLIEfornia BENches reviews
Alternate New Moon - Bella and Alice hurriedly try and stop Edward from jumping into the light. But what would have happened if they didn't make it? She'd have to live on: it's What He Would Have Wanted.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 18 - Words: 77,893 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Beautiful Lie by Brindalyn reviews
They were childhood friends who's destiny pulled them apart. He became a star and she raised his son, a son he knew nothing about. A son she hid from him to allow him to live out his dream. A beautiful lie. All Human. Bella/Edward. Usual Pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 143,559 - Reviews: 2798 - Favs: 3,317 - Follows: 1,305 - Updated: 3/20/2009 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Edward - Complete
ReHitched by Nollie Marie reviews
/Sequel to Hitched/ Edward & Bella want to renew their vows the ‘right’ way. But w/ stress from work, being parents to new born twins, PLUS the wedding plans will they make it back to the alter? And who is this stranger who keeps visiting Bella? Plez R&R!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 58,232 - Reviews: 1850 - Favs: 1,763 - Follows: 965 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 3/16/2008 - Complete
Bella's Thoughts by softball-chica reviews
We all know that Edward is desperate to know what Bella is thinking, but what happens when he starts hearing snippets in biology? Will he like what he hears?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 19,174 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 11/28/2008 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Edward, Bella
Love Is A Devil by ashel-13 reviews
Bella is a human who has never met the Cullens...yet. While in Italy she is found by Aro who is going to change her and treat her as his daughter. Lemons later. A BxE love story. Do monsters deserve love too? ON HIATUS!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 59,138 - Reviews: 1882 - Favs: 1,331 - Follows: 1,395 - Updated: 11/14/2008 - Published: 2/27/2008
That Damn, Sexy Crooked Smile by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Bella, an old, married woman, remembers her first love, the man she would never forget. Heart-breaking, but a happy ending, or at least I think so. AU AH one-shot. Bella/Edward
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,649 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 740 - Follows: 126 - Published: 11/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Black Bullet by Aces17 reviews
AU. After the tragic death of her mother, Bella is forced to flee to Forks and relatives she never knew she had. Will Edward be able to tear down her walls? EXB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 52,604 - Reviews: 1200 - Favs: 799 - Follows: 356 - Updated: 10/28/2008 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Heatwave by Ruby-Wednesday reviews
When an unexpected Heatwave hits Forks, it allows Edward and Bella to leave their problems behind and have some fun! Set between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Now Complete!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 109,924 - Reviews: 4879 - Favs: 3,115 - Follows: 1,576 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 1/4/2008 - Complete
10 Steps To Seducing Your Hot Virgin Vampire BF by halojones reviews
This story starts off after Edward rebuffs Bella's modest advances in their newly acquired bed in Edward's room. But things take a turn for the better for these two lovesick kids when Alice takes things into her own hands. Never bet against Alice!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 92,432 - Reviews: 5157 - Favs: 2,994 - Follows: 1,459 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Complete
Relearning The Breathing Process by chivalryisntdead reviews
A few days before the wedding Edward is out hunting and Bella agrees to go see Jacob, which she later regrets after he viciously hurts her like she never imagined he would. How will Bella cope? How will everyone react? Rated M for Rape and a few lemons!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 115,616 - Reviews: 2490 - Favs: 1,217 - Follows: 575 - Updated: 7/22/2008 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Bella - Complete
True Love Conquers All by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Sequel to "Phoenix" Bella and Edward are starting their senior year but what happens when Bella gets kidnapped? Can Edward find her and will their love survive? Rated M for violence, swearing and possible lemons. All human, read and review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 44,697 - Reviews: 755 - Favs: 457 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 7/12/2008 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Complete
Phoenix by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Bella is forced to leave behind Forks and Jacob when Renee needs her. But she finds herself neighbors with the Cullen's and the Hale's. What happens when Bella finds the only person she can open up to in her beautiful neighbor? All human. T just in case.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 38,309 - Reviews: 554 - Favs: 553 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 6/22/2008 - Published: 6/8/2008 - Complete
Hitched by Nollie Marie reviews
What happens here, doesn't ALWAYS stay here. It took Bella one cheating ex-boyfriend and a few drinks to find herself married to Edward Cullen, who is handsome, weathly, and isn't about to let her go that quite easily. Please R&R. /Slightly OOC?/
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 65,289 - Reviews: 3565 - Favs: 4,712 - Follows: 1,318 - Updated: 3/16/2008 - Published: 11/16/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Spin The Bottle reviews
Bella plays spin the bottle while Edward is in the room, and they kiss. He goes back home, she moves three years later. What happens when he's there? Will they get together or be torn apart? read and find out! ExB All-human. OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,107 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
Sweet Karma reviews
He's a senior, she's new. Alice shows her around but conveniently forgets to tell Edward that she is doing so. ExB All human, obviously.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,063 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Bella, Edward