Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, Naruto, and Twilight.
Hello Fellow Fanfic Readers/Writers :)
The name's Paradise-san or some of you might have known me as Paradise. Want to know my real name?... Well tough you're never ganna (grins).
But this is what I can tell you... I love to read stories and write, of course that's why I joined and all thanks to one of my mates for hooking me on fanfiction (hugs said friend, then smacks her over the head). I like playing pranks, drawing, sleeping, listening to music and loads and loads of other stuff... Can't be asked to write it all down though, which means I'm lazy or in my terms laid-back (grins).
If you'd like to check out my artwork, see here: DeviantART
Thank you to everyone who's put me on their Favourite Authors list and Author Alert (gives bear hugs and chocolate chip cookies).
My Stories -
Giving Up and Changing Mind (Harry Potter): After eavesdropping on Lily and Alice’s conversation in the Hogwarts Express, James Potter hears exactly how much Lily Evans hates him and heartbroken, he finally gives up on her. But could a Quidditch accident change that? Being forced to look after James, could Lily finally look past the prankster and see that she's wrong?
Because...It’s My Birthday (Naruto): It’s the 10th October, Naruto feels completely defeated and the villagers finally take their chance at the Kyuubi boy. Team 7 find Naruto injured and battered and they try to make sense of what happened. Kakashi and Tsunade are being secretive, Iruka and Jiraiya are worried, no one is giving Sasuke and Sakura straight answers and Naruto is giving them the cold shoulder.
Finding Freedom (Twilight): Emmett, Jasper and Edward - three brothers, run away from home when their life with their abusive Aunt becomes too unbearable to stay. They go to their parent’s ‘get-away’ home in Forks, where they meet Rosalie, Alice and Bella – three best friends and enrol in Forks High School. Can they overcome their past and what will happen when their Aunt starts looking for them? Edward/Bella, Emmett/Rosalie, Jasper/Alice. - Chapter 6 is up. Chapter 7 is going through final checks (Gosh, chapter 7 is a spoiled child, doesn't matter how much attention I give it, it's not moving quick enough. But I'm nearly there, I'm nearly there. Accursed writers block, stupid dormant plot bunnies -_-).
Parents-Sitting (Harry Potter): Albus Potter unknowingly gets a prototype potion from his Uncle George’s joke shop to play a prank on his brother James. But Harry and Ginny mistakenly take it and now it’s up to James, Albus and Lily to take care of their 6 and 5 years old parents until the potion wears off. Along the way they find out pretty interesting facts about their parents, see how they deal with it. HP/GW - Chapter 7 is up. Chapter 8 is in the beginning stages of planning.
Never Was A Child (Naruto): "I said I’ll be your teacher, not your father or your best friend. I’m not here to hold your hand. Stop being a child and learn how to stand on your own two feet like a shinobi." What if Jiraiya's words effected Naruto more deeply than he knew. Naruto never had the chance to be a child or have a normal childhood, he had to grow-up a lot quicker than a child should. Now Naruto is giving Jiraiya the cold shoulder, what will happen when Jiraiya confronts Naruto and gets a reaction he wasn't expecting. Based on Episode 87 (English version). - In the beginning stages of writing.
Together Bound/The Strength Within (HTTYD/Harry Potter Crossover): What if Valka, Lily and Petunia were sisters, making Harry, Dudley and Hiccup cousins. Voldemort is dead, but there are still vengeful Death Eaters on the loose. After Dumbledore discovers Harry is being mistreated in Petunia's care, he sends 5 years old Harry to stay with his other living relatives 5 years old Hiccup and Stoick so he would still stay protected. Hiccup and Harry become very close -like brothers, sharing each others pain and joy and being there for each other as they get secluded by the village because of their differences. Follow their adventure when they reluctantly go into dragon training and befriend two Nightfurys they shot down in the dragon raid -Toothless and Firebolt. Hiccup/Astrid, HP/GW. - In the beginning stage of writing.
They Weren't There (One Piece): The Strawhat Pirates each have a nightmare during their 2 years training separation. They all feel guilty, fearful and helpless for the suffering their captain went through. See what nightmares plague each member of Luffy's crew and the promises they make when they would finally return to him. One-shots for each Strawhat member.
Currently untitled (Twilight/Harry Potter Crossover): Everyone is getting ready for the confrontation against the Volturi -which is expected. What the Cullens and the La Push pack were not expecting was the arrival of a red-haired vampire woman with a red-haired half-vampire child, who means them no harm and is waiting for her husband and her two sons. Follow Harry, Ginny, James, Albus and Lily and the Cullens as they stand against the Volturi and try to build a home in Forks. During Breaking Dawn. HP/GW, RW/HG, Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper, Carlisle/Esme, Emmett/Rosalie, Jacob/Renesmee.
Currently untitled (One Piece): The Strawhats' stop at an island and while exploring they come across an eccentric stranger who takes an interest in Luffy. The stranger, not satisfied with the knowledge the crew has for their captain, uses their Devil Fruit powers to split Luffy into his alternate ages. Now the Strawhats' have to look after their 7, 14, 17 and unconscious 19 years old captain until the Devil fruit power wears off and along the way they discover there is more to their captain then he lets on.
In the beginning stages of planning - I haven't started the chapter yet and I'm making a drafted plan of it first
In the beginning stages of writing - I've finished the draft (or wrote enough to get going) and started writing the chapter.
Halfway done - Finished with the beginning and middle portion of the chapter and got the end part left.
Going through final checks - Chapter is finished, now proof-reading, going through spell-check, fixing up and/or adding some more here and there.
Favourite Stories and Pairings:
Rise of the Guardians:
Luffy/Nami, Shanks/Makino, Zoro/Tashigi, Roger/Rouge, Usopp/Kaya, Robin/Zoro, Ace/Nojiko, Franky/Robin
Naruto/Hinata, Sasuke/Sakura, Minato/Kushina, Shikamaru/Temari, Chouji/Karui, Neji/TenTen, Konahamaru/Moegi, Ino/Sai, Asuma/Kurenai, Iruka/Anko, Tsunade/Dan, Jiraiya/Tsunade, Shizune/Iruka
Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Neville/Hannah, James/Lily, Remus/Tonks, Teddy/Victoire, Luna/Neville
Kuroko no Basuke:
Chronicles of Narnia:
Siblingfic, Brotherfic and Sisterfic (basically family bonding)
Edward/Bella, Carlisle/Esme, Emmett/Rosalie, Jasper/Alice, Jacob/Renesmee
Mickey/Minnie, Donald/Daisy, Oswald/Ortensia, Max/Roxanne, Mona/Max, Clarabelle/Horace, Drake/Morgana, Pete/Peg, Ludwig/Matilda
Ash/Misty, May/Drew, Dawn/Kenny
Avatar: The last Airbender:
Aang/Katara, Sokka/Suki, Zukko/Mai, Pakku/Kanna(Gran Gran)
How To Train Your Dragon:
Sora/Kairi, Roxas/Namine, Terra/Aqua, Ven/Xion, Hayner/Olette, Mickey/Minnie, Jack/Aerith, Cloud/Tifa, Riku/Xion, Xion/Vanitus
Prince of Persia:
Goku/Chi-chi, Vegeta/Bulma, Gohan/Videl, Krillin/Eighteen, Tien/Launch
Astro Boy (the movie):
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012):
Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler):
These are my favourite pairings and they're not going to change. I have read other pairings, but I can't imagine the characters being in any relationship other than their canon pairings. I don't really care much for slash/yaoi/yuri...imagine my surprise when I had no idea what those words meant and decided to read one of them to find out...definitely not what I was expecting (laughs). Same surprise went for lemon stories...the word has NOTHING to do with the fruit O.O'
Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..." - HP&PS
Trelawney: "Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?"
Ron: "I don't need help, it's obvious what this means: there's going to be loads of fog tonight." - HP&PoA
"Of course we still want to know you!" Harry said, staring at Hagrid.
"You don't think anything that Skeeter cow - sorry, Professor," he added quickly, looking at Dumbledore.
"I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry," said Dumbledore, twiddling his thumbs and staring at the ceiling. - HP&GoF
Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's.
"I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I, next-door neighbours?" said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son. - HP&OotP
"Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our window, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry. - HP&OotP
"Excellent." said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry -"
"They won't," said Harry.
"That you're safe -"
"That'll just depress them."
"- and you'll see them next summer."
"Do I have to?" - HP&OotP
"Very well then," said Dumbledore, pushing open the broom-shed door and stepping out into the yard. "I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are." - HP&HBP
"If I'm having lessons with you, I won't have to do Occlumency with Snape, will I?"
"Professor Snape, Harry - and no, you will not."
"Good," said Harry in relief, "because they were a -"
"I think the word 'fiasco' would be a good one here." - HP&HBP
"...You have not asked me, for instance, what is my favorite flavor of jam, to check that I am indeed Professor Dumbledore and not an impostor."
"I didn't..." Harry began, not entirely sure whether he was being reprimanded or not.
"For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry... although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself." - HP&HBP
Ron, you know full well Harry and I were brought up by Muggles!” said Hermione. “We didn’t hear stories like that when we were little, we heard ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’ and ‘Cinderella’—“
“What’s that, an illness?” asked Ron. - HP&DH
“Arthur and Fred – ”
“I’m George,” said the twin at whom Moody was pointing. “Can’t you even tell us apart when we’re Harry?”
“Sorry, George – ”
“I’m only yanking your wand, I’m Fred really – ”
“Enough messing around!” snarled Moody. - HP&DH
When he straightened up again, there were six Harry Potters gasping and panting in front of him. Fred and George turned to each other and said together, "Wow -- We're identical!" - HP&DH
“Look, if I picked up a sword right now, Ron, and ran you through with it, I wouldn’t damage your soul at all.”
“Which would be a real comfort to me, I’m sure,” said Ron. - HP&DH
"You must kill me." (Dumbledore)
There was a long silence, broken only by an odd clicking noise. Fawkes the phoenix was gnawing a bit of cuttle bone.
"Would you like me to do it now?" asked Snape, his voice heavy with irony. "Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?" - HP&DH
Edward and Alice playing chess was one of the funniest things I’d ever seen. They’d sat there nearly motionless, staring at the board, while Alice foresaw the moves he would make and he picked the moves she would make in return out of her head. They played most of the game in their minds; I think they’d each moved two pawns when Alice suddenly flicked her king over and surrendered. It took all of three minutes. - Bella Swan, Eclipse
"It gets easier. After a few decades, everyone you know is dead. Problem solved". - Edward Cullen, Eclipse
"I’ll be there. And I’ll hate every minute of it. Promise". - Bella Swan, Eclipse
"Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?" - Jacob Black, Eclipse
"I have to step out for a second, don't do anything funny" - Emmett Cullen, New Moon
Leah: "Mum dropped him a lot when he was a baby"
Jacob: "On his head, apparently" - Breaking Dawn
"I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that i object" - Edward Cullen, Eclipse
Seth: Edward, Edward are you there? Okay now i feel kinda stupid
Jacob: You sound stupid too - Breaking Dawn
Leah: I wasn't born a compassionless shrew. I used to be sort of nice you know
Jacob: My memory doesn't go back that far - Breaking Dawn
Edward: Marry me first
Bella: Okay, whats the punch line?
Edward: You're wounding my ego Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke
Bella: Oh c'mon, i'm only eighteen
Edward: Well i'm nearly a hundred and ten. It's time i settled down - New Moon
"You're losing me Doc, can you dumb it down?" - Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn
Jacob: Leah, you don't like me. I don't like you.
Leah: Thank you, Captain Obvious - Breaking Dawn
Edward: You could have called us, Jacob
Jacob: Sorry, i don't have any leeches on my speed dial - Breaking Dawn
Jacob: Stop being so...Optimistic, it's getting on my nerves
Seth: No problem. You want me to be all doom and gloom, or just shut up?
Jacob: Just shut up
Seth: Can do
Jacob: Really? Doesn't seem like it - Breaking Dawn
Alice: I feel so useless. So...normal
Bella: I can't imagine how awful that must be. Being normal? Ugh - Eclipse
"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV" - Jacob Black, Eclipse
"Jacob isn't suffering. Though i might be willing to change his condition" - Edward Cullen, Breaking Dawn
Edward: Make her see sense.
Jacob: Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in? - Breaking Dawn
"Say what you want. I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular". - Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn
"Just Ignore Rosalie, I do" - Edward Cullen, Twilight Movie
Rosalie: Is she even Italian?
Emmett: Her name is Bella - Twilight Movie
Bella: Are you going to tell me how you stopped the van?
Edward: Yeah. Um...i had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it - Twilight Movie
Bartender: There's no cure for idiots and pirates, is there? (he continues talking to the pirate crew)
Luffy: Did he call you an idiot Zoro?
Zoro: Why me!?
Luffy: Because I'm a pirate. - Fourth Movie
Usopp: My chronic I-shouldn't-go-through-this-tunnel disease is acting up again...
Zoro: Give it up Usopp. The Captain's made up his mind to go - Fourth Movie
(Shuraiya, Luffy and the other pirates are hanging on to a big escalating chain attached to a ship on the ceiling)
Shuraiya: Dammit you guys are persistant...
Other pirates: Have you had enough? Asshole! You're not getting away! Stay right there!
Luffy: Oh! This is cool!
Nami: Luffy! What are you doing?
Luffy: Nothing. Just a fight.
Nami: I see. Don't get lost, okay?
Luffy: Okay! - Fourth Movie
Shuraiya: You're no ordinary pirate, are you?
Luffy: No, I'm a pretty ordinary pirate. I'm looking for the legendary treasure, One Piece. Ah, but...once i become the Pirate King. I won't be ordinary anymore. (Shuraiya looks at Luffy, surprised)
Gasparde: (Laughs) That's pretty big talk! Do you know what those words mean on this sea?
Luffy: (Looks serious) Not really. But I've decided. (grins) If i die fighting for it, then that's that. - Fourth Movie
Sanji:(angry) What's with that nose!?
Usopp: (grinning) What nose?
Sanji: YOUR nose. Why is it so long!?
Usopp: (Crosses his arms and turns slightly away, still grinning) Sanji, you heard of snails right!?
Sanji: That's got nothing to do with it! - Fourth Movie
Avatar: The last Airbender:
Aang: This is Appa, My flying Bison
Sokka: (sarcastically) Right, and this is Katara, my flying sister.
Zuko: I've spent years preparing for this encounter. Training, meditating...you're just a child!
Aang: Well, you're just a teenager.
Sokka: (straining at his bonds) Who are you? Where are the men who ambushed us?
Suki: There were no men. We ambushed you. Now tell us, who are you and what are you doing here?
Sokka: Wait! There's no way a bunch of girls took us down.
Suki: A bunch of girls, huh? The unagi's gonna eat well tonight.
Katara: No, don't hurt him! He didn't mean it. My brother is just an idiot sometimes.
Katara: He's just upset because a bunch of girls kicked his butt yesterday.
Sokka: They snuck up on me!
Katara: Right. And then they kicked your butt.
Sokka: (feeling proud to wear the Kyoshi uniform) Bravery and Honor.
(Aang passes by and pops his head at the door)
Aang: Nice dress, Sokka!
Katara: Sokka! You're a genius!
Aang: Wait. How is Sokka a genius? His plan didn't even work!
Sokka: Come on, Aang. Let her dream.
Katara: You're right, Sokka's plan didn't work. But it looks like it did.
Aang: Did the definition of 'genius' change in the last hundred years?
Sokka: I'm too young to die!
Fisherman: I'm not, but I still don't wanna!
Katara: I have a crazy idea...
Katara: Nevermind, its too crazy.
Aang: Katara, what is it?
Katara: (looking away) I was thinking… the curse says we’ll be trapped in here forever unless we trust in love.
Katara: And here it says 'love is brightest in the dark' and...has a picture of them kissing...
Aang: (clueless) Where are you going with this?
Katara: Well...what if we kissed?
Aang: (shocked) US kissing?!
Katara: See, it was a crazy idea.
Aang: (dreamily) Us...kissing...
Katara: (laughing) Haha! Us, kissing. What was I thinking? Can you imagine that?
Aang: (trying to play it off) Yeah, heh heh. I definitely wouldn't want to kiss you!
Katara: (angry & a little hurt) Well, I didn't realize it was such a horrible option! Sorry I suggested it!
Aang: (attempting to save face) No, I mean, if it was a choice between kissing you and DYING...
Aang: What?! I'm saying I'd rather kiss you than die! That's a compliment!
Katara: Well I'm not sure which I'd rather do! (She walks off in a huff)
Aang: What is wrong with me
Sokka: NO. Bad Fire Nation baby!
Toph: What're you doing here, Twinkle Toes?
Aang: How'd you know it was me?
Sokka: Don't answer to twinkle toes, its not manly!
Katara: You're the one who's bag matches his belt!
Zuko: So uncle, I’ve been thinking. It’s only a matter of time before I run into Azula again. I’m going to need to know more advanced firebending if I want to stand a chance against her. I know what you’re going to say: she’s my sister and I should be trying to get along with her--
Iroh: No, she’s crazy and she needs to go down.
(Sokka is buried in the earth and is pleading to the spirits to let him out)
Sokka: Okay, karma person or thing, whoever's in charge of this stuff... If I can just get out of this situation alive, I will give up meat and sarcasm. Okay? That's all I got. Pretty much my whole identity: Sokka the meat and sarcasm guy. But I'm willing to be Sokka, the veggies and straight talk fellow. Deal?
(sees Aang approaching)
Sokka: Aang! Thank goodness! Have you got any meat?
(Suki rescues Toph from drowning)
Toph: (thinking that Suki is Sokka) Oh, Sokka! You saved me! (kisses Suki on the cheek)
Suki: Um, actually, it's me.
Toph: Oh... well, heh heh. You can go ahead and let me drown now.
Sokka: Great job with the cloud camo, but next time, let's disguise ourselves as the kinda cloud that knows how to keep its mouth shut!
Toph: (sarcastically) Yeah, we wouldn't want a bird to hear us chatting up there and turn us in.
Sokka: (Hushed tone) Hey, we're in enemy territory. Those are enemy birds!
(One bird jumps on Sokka's head and caws, all laugh)
Sokka (wearing his fake mustache) That's it! No more school for you, young man! (strokes his mustache)
Aang: I'm not ready to leave yet. I'm having fun for once, just being a normal kid. You don't know what it's like, Sokka. You get to be normal all the time.
Toph: Ha ha. (Sokka narrows his eyes at Toph)
Aang: Listen, guys, those kids are the future of the Fire Nation. If we want to change this place for the better, we need to show them a little of freedom.
Sokka: What could you possibly do for a country of depraved little fire monsters?
Aang: I'm gonna throw them... a secret dance party! (Aang does a silly little dance, and everybody stares at him)
Sokka (adult voice) Go to your room!
(Aang is dreaming)
Aang: Your reign of tyranny is over, Firelord. I'm taking you down!
Ozai: Do you really think you can take me down? You're not even wearing pants!
Aang: No, Firelord Ozai. You're not wearing pants!
Ozai: (screams) My royal parts are showing!
Aang (while he and Zuko are still trapped in the chamber with the green glue-like substance) You had to pick up the glowing egg, didn't you?
Zuko: At least I made something happen! If it were up to you, we'd never made across the courtyard!
Zuko: Who are you yelling to? Nobody's lived for centuries!
Aang: Well, what do you think we should do?
Zuko: ...Think about our place in the Universe?
(Referring to The Masters, whom they are about to meet)
Aang: What if they judge us, and attack us?
Zuko: Well, we're the Fire Prince and the Avatar. I think we can take these guys in a fight, whoever they are.(After finding out "The Masters" are two enormous, ferocious dragons)
Aang: Still think we can take 'em?
Zuko: Shh! I never said that
Sokka: Oh, good. You guys have met.
Suki: Actually, we met a long time ago.
Zuko: We did?
Suki: Yeah. You kind of burned down my village. (pause)
Zuko: Oh, I'm sorry about that. Nice to see you again.
After Toph took out a few Firebenders
Sokka: Good work, Toph. Time to take control of the ship. Take the wheel.
Toph: (sarcastically) That's a great idea, let the blind girl steer the giant airship.
Sokka: I was talking to Suki.
Toph: That would make a lot more sense.
Pirates of the Caribbean:
Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman. - PotC:tCotBP
(Jack throws a bucket of water on sleeping Gibbs)
Mr. Gibbs: Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. Its bad luck.
Jack Sparrow: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye, that'll about do it.
(Will throws more water on Mr. Gibbs)
Mr. Gibbs: Blast I'm already awake.
Will Turner: That was for the smell. - PotC:tCotBP
Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid. - PotC:tCotBP
Jack Sparrow: One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going: This girl... how far are you willing to go to save her?
Will Turner: I'd die for her.
Jack Sparrow: Oh good. No worries then. - PotC:tCotBP
Will Turner: You want me to find this?
Jack Sparrow: No. You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy?
Will Turner: This is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davy Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's going to save Elizabeth. - PotC:DMC
Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: Dirt. This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: (greedily) No!
Tia Dalma: Then it helps. - PotC:DMC
Jack Sparrow: (with his back to Elizabeth, thinking that she is a man) Come to join my crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth Swann: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: (startled) I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: (turning around) Elizabeth!
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum. - PotC:DMC
Gibbs: Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea!
Jack Sparrow: Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
Gibbs: That seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
Jack Sparrow: I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something! - PotC:DMC
Jack Sparrow: (holds up jar of dirt) Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!
(falls down stairs, holds up jar again)
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got.
Jack Sparrow: (sing-song) I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!- PotC:DMC
Gibbs: (Tia Dalma just uncovered Jack's Black Spot) The Black Spot!
(he does a strange superstitous dance)
Ragetti: The Black Spot!
Pintel: Black Spot!
(Pintel and Ragetti do the same dance)
Jack Sparrow: My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know. - PotC:DMC
Elizabeth Swann: It's real!
Norrington: You actually were telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Will Turner: With good reason. - PotC:DMC
Jack Sparrow: You look bloody awful, what are you doing here?
Norrington: You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack Sparrow: (immaturely) You smell funny. - PotC:DMC
Will Turner: What about Jack? I won't leave without him!
(Jack runs in followed by hundreds of angry cannibals)
Will Turner: Never mind! Let's go! - PotC:DMC
Captain Ammand: (about Barbossa) Shoot him!
Captain Jocard Cut out his tongue!
Jack Sparrow Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! And trim that scraggly beard! - PotC:AWE
(Barbossa is giving orders and Jack repeats the order)
Barbossa: What are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'?
Barbossa: No, what are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'?
Barbossa: No! What are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'? Captain gives orders on the ship.
Barbossa: The captain of the ship is givin' orders.
Jack Sparrow: My ship, makes me captain.
Barbossa: They be my charts!
Jack Sparrow: Well, that makes you
Jack Sparrow: chartman.
Pintel: Stow it! Both of you! That's an order! Understand?
(Jack and Barbossa stare at him)
Pintel: Sorry. I just thought with the Captain issue in doubt, I'd throw my name in for consideration, sorry.
Ragetti: (to Pintel) I'd vote for you. - PotC:AWE
Barbossa: Dearly Beloved, we be gathered here today...
(is set upon by a fish-person, who he kicks in the face)
Barbossa: ... to nail yer gizzard to the mast, yer poxy cur - PotC:AWE
Jack Sparrow: I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hand of this weirdness. - PotC:AWE
Jack Sparrow: You know, for all that pirates are clever-called, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Gibbs: (nods) Aye.
Jack Sparrow: I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.
Gibbs: What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow: (pause) Larry. - PotC:AWE
Gibbs: Jack! The world needs you back something fierce!
Will Turner: Cutler Beckett has the heart of Davy Jones, he controls the Flying Dutchman.
Elizabeth Swann: He's taking over the sea!
Tia Dalma: The song has already been sung! The brethren court is called!
Jack Sparrow: I leave you people alone for just a minute look what happens, everything's gone to pot! - PotC:AWE
Will Turner: (during the final battle) Will you marry me?
Elizabeth Swann: I don't think now's the best time!
Will Turner: Now may be the only time! I love you. I've made my choice. What's yours?
Elizabeth Swann: Barbossa!
(Will shocked because of her 'choice')
Elizabeth Swann: to Barbossa Marry us!
(Will is relieved)
Barbossa: I'm a little busy at the moment! - PotC:AWE
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs!
Gibbs: Aye, cap'n?
Jack Sparrow: You may throw my hat if you wish.
Gibbs: Aye, AYE!
(Gibbs throws Jack's hat into the celebrating crowd)
Jack Sparrow: Now go and get it. - PotC:AWE
Will Turner: (during the final battle) Elizabeth Swann, do you take me to be your husband?
Elizabeth Swann: I do.
Will Turner: Great!
Elizabeth Swann: Will Turner, do you take me to be your wife, in sickness and in health, with health being less likely?
Will Turner: I do.
Barbossa: As Captain, I now pronounce you...
(interrupted by fighting)
Barbossa: You may kiss...
Barbossa: ...You may kiss...
Barbossa: ...JUST KISS! - PotC:AWE
Jack Sparrow: He needs the Pearl. Captain Turner needs the Pearl,
Jack Sparrow: (to Elizabeth) and you felt guilty,
Jack Sparrow: (to Barbossa) and you and your Brethren Court.
Jack Sparrow: Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?
(Everyone looks around. Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack The Monkey cautiously raise their hands)
Jack Sparrow: I'm standing over there with them. - PotC:AWE
My little brother is on the computer, its locked and he's trying to guess my user password, I'm lying on my bed reading Eclipse.
"Sis, whats your password?"
"None of your business"
"How do you spell that?" - Seriously I couldn't stop laughing after he said that.