Author has written 2 stories for Castle, and Naruto.If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you hate back stabbers, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you would LOVE to know how Naruto's going to end, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Friends or best friends
FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink
BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food
FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs. and grandma and grandpa
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMPS AND GRANDPA
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, "DAMN that was fun."
FRIENDS: Never seen you cry
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell anyone else you cry...just laugh about it when you're not down anymore
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BEST FRIENDS: Would walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Are through high school/college (drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think you've had enough
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Dude drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit
Here is a copy of the Forty Nine Laws of Anime, copy it if you're a anime writer.
Forty-Six laws of Anime:
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
6. Law of Temporal Variability
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
13. Law of Energetic Emission
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
15. Law of Inexhaustability
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
26. Law of Feline Mutation
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
34. Law of Probable Attire
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
37. Law of Extra-dimensional Capacitance
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
41. Law of Xylolaceration
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
The Rules of Slasher Films
Slasher films, as suggested by the genres, usually involve characters being murdered/tortured/chased/transfigured in the most imaginative and bloody ways. It is also possible to see that the characters always seem to have one fatal flaw-they always succumb to apparent stupidity when faced with the cause of their demise.
There is a running pattern throughout these films; if only our heroes and heroines noticed it before they ended up being ripped to shreds by a knife-wielding psycho in a clown mask/machete-wielding bloke in a hockey mask/supposedly dead maniac with a penchant for fedora hats and red-green striped sweaters...
Never be called Tina. Anybody named Tina always finds themselves at a sticky end, be it dragged across their bedroom ceiling while being slashed to death in their dreams, stabbed on a holiday resort, murdered by people in masks etc.
Seemingly innocent names of radio stations, television channels and the media always give a hint to the person instigating all the deaths, so have a pen and paper handy during all commercial breaks.
Mind, Body and Soul
Do not go under the delusion that 'only you can save the world!'. There are plenty of people willing to help-as long as they haven't been killed off already.
Be aware that knife/axe/weapon-wielding maniacs always attack those who believe that such maniacs only exist in films. So never be the one to say 'But that kind of thing only happens in the movies' or you will certainly be convinced otherwise in a most distressing and terminal way.
Popular media-parodying slasher movies can offer good advice. For example, these famous three rules are a must-know if you want to have a shot at survival
There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to survive a horror movie. First, you can never drink or do drugs. Second, you can never have sex. Big no-no. It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And last, you can never, ever, ever under any circumstances say 'I'll be right back,' cause you won't be back.
Make friends with caffeine. This is because sleep is not an option.
The dreamworld is just as dangerous as the real world, so learn the art of lucid dreaming.
Sharp objects and soft skin do not go together. Avoid contact at all costs.
Hold your carnal urges until after the bloodthirsty maniac has been disposed of, please? Stopping for a quick, reassuring cuddle will only shorten the distance between you and the killer, and probably leave you and your partner breathless.
In fact, preserve your virginity or die.
Walking about naked or wearing only your underwear is not good for your health. Neither is showing off your breasts and cleavage. Exhibitionists in general do not survive past the first half- hour. The only person to ever get away with walking around in her underwear is Ripley in the Alien movies - and even her luck ran out eventually.
No matter how bad things get, never cut your own (or anybody else's) limbs off. Especially your hands. They will come back to haunt you.
While running away from the monster, you will trip over several times regardless of the ground's surface. Meanwhile, the monster will always catch you up even though it is simply shambling along. Taking this into account, sensible footwear is always the wisest option.
Personal hygiene must be put on hold until the killer has been disposed of. Do not even think of having a shower or a bath. In fact, never step inside a bathroom - especially one in a motel.
Anyone who moans is trouble. Depending on the interpretation of the word 'moan', loud-mouthed people who continually bitch will be given something serious to moan about, while those who emit low, gut-wrenching moans are probably dead (or undead).
If you don't know what it is, don't touch it.
Fickleness is a folly. If you pick a door to go through, then go through that door. If you change your mind to go through another, you will meet a sticky end.
Never trust what you hear, as voices can easily be faked using little voice machine boxes (or even witchcraft).
Translucent ghosts generally bring helpful news, or they take over your body and go on a killing spree. Solid-looking spirits get straight down to the job and kill you. Horribly. Best avoided in either case unless they're someone you used to know and trust.
If some time in your past you happened to sell your soul to the Devil, you are definitely screwed.
If you are a member of the local police force, armed forces, FBI, secret service, or are a private detective, your life will be abruptly cut short. Especially if your character name is 'Third Trooper'.
Pay attention if you are a methodical teenager who is shunned by your 'way-cool' peers because there is something about you that is slightly twisted or too 'far out' for their liking. Don't worry about what they think - there is a chance that you will be the eventual hero/heroine and save the day. Failing that, you will be the killer of those 'way-cool' peers-and get away with it. Bonus!
If you are the methodical teenager's parents, then you should listen to them more often. More often than not, they are telling the truth when they say that they know who is killing off their friends. If they themselves are the killer, a lot of needless death could be avoided if you'd just show them a little tolerance and affection-rock music isn't all that bad really.
If you happen to come across an undead minion that is rampaging all over your local town, then shoot/cut its head off. That usually does the trick. But keep your distance anyway - some of the critters can be mighty persistent.
Treat unidentified telephone callers who ring repeatedly in the same way as you would treat somebody who knocks at your front door repeatedly trying to sell you double-glazing. Lock the doors. Phone the police. Do not step outside at any point.
Be part of a happy family with no skeletons in the closet, as families with dark, horrifying secrets tend to find themselves at the center of all the trouble. Who knows, that locked-away mad relative or the target of the vigilante parents may return to haunt you.
Watch out for that friendly, generous and sympathetic neighbor. The kind where someone always says '...he was so quiet, such a nice man...'
Electrical Equipment, Household Items and Impromptu Weapons
When in the bath, never surround oneself with electrical equipment because you might get a (fatal) shock if the TV/radio happens to 'fall' into the water. You can watch that TV programme later, or even better, record it for future viewing like everybody else.
Never trust the phone on the hard line as it will undoubtedly cut out in the middle of a conversation due to a well-timed lightning bolt or the intervention of the killer, who has somehow added a pair of garden wire-cutters to his/her utility belt.
Always invest in a mobile phone - and never have a pay-as-you-go account because you need enough credit to inform others that you are being chased by a knife-wielding maniac.
Learn how to use a weapon properly. An incentive would be to learn how to keep hold of it, rather than dropping it in fright and allowing your would-be killer to use it against you.
If you are missing some sharp cutlery from the kitchen, it will turn up later, embedded in somebody else's body. Almost as soon as this is discovered, you will become the prime suspect for the murder, by the way. Sorry 'bout that.
The House and your Vehicle
Never leave windows open so people can crawl through into your house. Especially when you are asleep.
The wardrobe is not a suitable hidey-hole.
Always check behind the door.
When outdoors and in the car, the maniac will inevitably be on top (or, in rare circumstances, clinging to the underside) of your car as you chug down the quiet lane. Remember this is the real reason why speed bumps were invented.
Check that all the passengers in the car are the ones that you are meant to have with you. Always check the back seats before you get in.
Running up a set of stairs to the bedrooms leaves you at a dead end and open to a messy death.
Running down a set of stairs to the basement/cellar leaves you at a dead end and open to a messy death.
Look, if you're going to use stairs it's sensible to work out where they lead in advance. Just stay away from stairs, fool!
If you are looking to live in a cabin in the heart of the forest - just don't.
When entering a darkened area, looking out for danger, don't forget to look upwards early in the process. This is the direction from which the danger will come (trees, catwalks, ceilings, are all areas where dread killers tend to hang out).
Whimpering, whining or screaming tends to give away your hiding location.
Finding a safe place to hide is not always a wise choice, unless it is a coffin.
The Soundtrack and Incidental Music
Often the orchestra decides who is going to die, and just how horribly. If the string section is squealing in rhythmical discord, then a knife is sure to follow, in a similarly rhythmic fashion. If you have a choice of routes, and one route brings on the choirboys, there could be something of a supernatural nature at the end. Major keys signify you've found something very useful (possibly the thing that will vanquish the killer); minor keys always mean you're in grave danger.
The killer is always graced with his/her own entrance music. For example, if you hear something that sounds like 'cha-cha-cha, ha-ha-ha', get out now, because that bloke in a hockey mask is coming for you.
Do not enter any dark doorway when the ominous music is playing. Stay out in the open, where you can swing your machete freely. Unfortunately, this allows for the killer to show his skill in beheading people, Anne Boleyn-style.
Any location that involves repetitive synth or piano music is not going to be the ideal place to move, whether that be Georgetown, Haddonfield or the farmlands of Pittsburgh.
The Hero or Heroine
You must not have a boyfriend/girlfriend or want one. Those with such attachments tend to lose their loved one gruesomely (or else discover they have a rather nasty sideline in homicide).
The hero or heroine is usually intelligent and makes attempts to see the whole picture, despite the fact that several of their friends must be sacrificed in the process.
Despite saving the lives of everybody in the end, the hero or heroine always wonders if the decapitated head of the killer is in fact decapitated, and not just hanging off their neck.
The hero or heroine always plans their strategy with several back plans to thwart the killer. The act of bravado always occurs through the sneaky back plan that the killer has not noticed.
In reality, the hero or heroine is just as psychologically damaged as the killer, and indeed being able to think like a psychopath is often the best way to defeat them.
Never believe that the killer is truly beaten. Announcing a so-called 'final chapter/episode/nightmare' is always overtly premature.
So-called 'momma's boys' are, in truth, complete nutcases. If you push one too hard, something will snap and they will kill you
The killer always has a trademark, be it their appearance, choice of weapon, manner of killing or catchphrase. If not, the killer is somebody who knows you very well and who doesn't want to give anything away.
If the killer is silent (or meek and mild) they are very much like the Grim Reaper as they generally are not seen until the last moment otherwise known as the couple of seconds of grace before you get your head bashed in.
More verbose killers have the characteristics of cats. They prowl about the area making you feel very insecure, are generally omnipresent in manner, and always have room for a gloating black humored comment when they dispose of you.
The silent killer is a remorseless one, so trying to make them see the light is a fruitless expedition.
The verbose killer can be prone to weakness if they are tormented by personal demons. However, the more successful verbose killer (ie the one who gets a sequel film) is truly deranged and a psychotic maniac.
The killer usually has a hidden agenda for their killing spree. They seek revenge because of the evils perpetrated upon them by the hero or heroine's family, as a rule.
There is always one weak point of the killer that the hero or heroine manages to exploit.
Generally, the killer is more popular with the film public for the way that they stand out than the hero or heroine. With their trademark mannerisms, who can resist their charms?
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