Author has written 3 stories for CSI, and Twilight.
Well my name is Megan, and I love reading. I am a Sophmore attending Flager Palm Coast High School, and I love FanFiction. Im fun to hang out with cause I get along with pretty much everybody and I am fat. GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT? I can fight like a black girl in gary. (No offense to anybody black) Make me mad I will kick ur ass but other than that im cool. I like to play sports like b-ball and football. I love COD 4&5&6. Best video games in the world. I play army with nerf dart guns. Yeah I am a kid at heart. GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT? I live in florida. I am 15 years young. My bday is May30th. Leave me a hit if ya wanna know more and we'll talk. Peace.
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door."
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it!"
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it"
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Only in America, do banks have braile on the drive-thru ATMs.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
The cops never find it as funny as you do
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
Copy this into your profile if you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his damn Trix.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever fallen asleep at 2 am while reading Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse copy this onto your profile
If you haven't died yet copy this onto your profile
If you have a true friend copy this onto your profile
If when you hear thunder you think it's vampires playing baseball copy this onto your profile
If you constantly need a new bookshelf in your room copy this onto your profile
If you have an insane friend copy this onto your profile
If you've ever argued with yourself and lost copy this onto your profile
If your the kind of person that walks into a door or wall then apologizes to it copy this onto your profile
Strange and random things that made me laugh...
Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?
If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.
Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!
My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.
It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious
If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!
OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!
let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.
yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.
warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!
i speak fluent sarcasm.
are yhu stoned
I don't obsess, I think intensely!
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I do not deny everything!
Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.
Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway
Life's tough...Get a helmet
I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
My VAMPIRE can beat up your WEREWOLF!!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."
"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P
I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.
Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
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