Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
Alright, so in renewing the flame of (lust? passion?) for Harry Potter fanfiction (at least those that retain a sense of worth) I decided my account - which, while being largely unused, also represents me online - needed an upgrade.
As of yet I have no idea what to fill this space with. However, one thing I do know is that I'm sure many many upset 12-year-old ponces will come here referring to my 'flame' - otherwise known as constructive criticism with a tinge of you-just-wasted-my-goddamn-time - with all the outrage of a howler monkey going through puberty. I ensure you, the hair you're growing is NORMAL, and having a red blotchy face is just an unfortunate side effect of this 'condition'.
In any case, when I am perusing the artwork of some of the finer authors on this site *cough Nerys cough* I find myself awed that such drivel as can make its way into this site is even read, let alone appreciated by like-minded teenagers wishing to relate with a Mary Sue that has already been claimed by the writer... *takes breath* okay. Begone, scathing comments!
If you wish to know what really ticks me off in regards to your story, it may be one of these:
1. Mary Sue. Mary Sue. Mary Sue.
If you have given your character an unusual name, too many names, your names, an unusual spelling of a name or any combination of the above, this is most likely a Mary Sue.
If your character is introduced with 'her hair was like fire, and she had a lip piercing and a nose piercing and she always wore black and her makeup was like that of Goth X', again, an even stronger indication that your character is the most unoriginal drivel (oh I love that word) you can find on the net.
If your character is liked (with neither reason nor justification) by several other existing characters that you yourself would like to get with, or with an OC with the same criteria, this is again a Mary Sue. Please, justify why Severus Snape suddenly has an interest in Hermione Granger when he has not, to anyone's knowledge, even suggested that he individualises his students (bar Harry, who was a special case). Again, if you are placing Malfoy (Jr or Sr) with any loyal Gryffindor, you are likely to recieve scathing comments from myself if you do not explain yourself!
Finally, if your character has had hardships, is immortal, is mortal but looks younger than she/he really is, is an elf, druid or magical being that is not already explicit within the pages of JK's works, you are setting yourself up for an unoriginal character at best.
2. Spelling! I cannot stand spelling mistakes. While I will forgiv a fue, I canot and wil not read a storie with so manie mistakes that u need a dicshonry to decifer it.
3. If u shorten ur words lik u clerly do in txts, u r an utta failur @ th Englsh langwidg.
4. Punctuation! Yes, I am giving each of these a bullet point, namely because I've run into them far too much. I would love to be beta to a worthy writer, but I will NOT try to fix your mistakes when those lie with your English teacher and yourself.
5. OOC. One of my biggest regrets is not wringing the necks of those writers to whom Tom Riddle has suddenly lost his balls (or marbles, or both) and decided that he is 'in love'. YOU ARE BUTCHERING A PERFECTLY VIABLE CHARACTER! When I find Severus Snape coddling up to X character because he is sad, despite the fact that he's carried on for so long that he should (and does, in the books) show signs of severe abuse, such as BEING UNABLE TO REACH OUT, I get a little stroppy. Likewise, any other character that will not give someone a hug if they ask for it should NOT BE TAMPERED WITH TO SATISFY YOUR OWN CRAVINGS FOR A ROMANTIC SLOP! Thankyou.
I'm sure there are far more than just the above, but as of now restrict yourself to learning how to undo the catastrophe that is your story and turn it into an artwork, like the below authors have.